Gus (43 page)

"You're so fucking wet. I love it."
 

She answers, but not with words. She reaches around behind me and grabs ahold of my upper thigh and squeezes. Her nails dig in with need and desperation, a physical plea.

It's
please.

And
yes.

And
now
.

Right now.

I slip my hand out from under her and sit up. I'm planning out my next move and admiring her gorgeous body in the same assessment. Nudging her legs apart at her knees ignites the flame of arousal within me and I can't resist touching her again, slipping my fingers in and out. Her hips lift to meet the penetration. And the act of her engaging in her own pleasure, enhancing it, has me memorizing this visual so I can reference it later when we're apart. It's fantasy material.
 

"You sure you're ready for this?"
 

Her eyes are still closed as she rides out the rapture. "Yes," it's breathless.

I slip my fingers out and guide myself to her opening. "Keep your eyes closed." I nudge her with the tip and she moans. "I'm gonna make you feel so good." When I push into her she gasps and all I can say is, "Mmm ... " It's a contented hum deep in my chest. After the initial, crazy good shocking sensation passes I urge her, "Close your legs."

"But, you won't be able to—"

I cut her off before she finishes her counter, "Trust me. Yes, I will."

After I find a slow rhythm that works for both of us, I lie down over her back. I need my skin touching her skin. "I'm gonna go slow, because,
damn
this feels incredible, but when you're close you let me know because we're in this together."

"Okay, babe." It's the breathless answer of a fully engaged, satisfied partner.

We keep up the pace while I kiss her shoulders and back, occasionally telling her what I'm feeling, or how she makes me feel, or how I feel about her. I don't normally hold back, but having sex with her is like truth serum. I'm not censoring anything. It's all out there.

And then she says, "I'm so close, babe."

I reach down for her hands and twine them with mine and I bring them up to rest on the bed on either side of her head. "I've got you, sweetheart. I'm all yours."
 

She squeezes my hands and the pressure is all the confirmation I need, but she adds, "You're mine."

Everything's ramped up—the need, the passion, the attraction. I'm pounding into her now and she's asking for more. And more. With her legs held together there's so much friction and she's so tight. And everything in my world is so goddamn intense right now. All I want to do is please her. That's all I want. And the moment it happens and she buries her head in the comforter and starts chanting my name, that's all it takes. My name on her lips called out in pure ecstasy. And I'm saying her name like a prayer. "Scout. Scout. You're my world, Scout." And my release is like nothing I've ever experienced, it's like I'm strapped to a rocket and launched into the sky. It's fireworks and satisfaction and need and love.
 

Love.

So much love.

Wednesday, August 22

(Gus)

Ma answers on the first ring, which is strange. "Hi, honey."

"Hola, Ma. What's the news from the States today?" We're in Budapest. Last night of the tour. We go home early tomorrow. It's been great. The crowds have been great. The music's been great. But I'm ready to go home and rest. And eat some tacos. Lots of tacos.

"Funny you should ask, because I do have some news." She sounds excited.
 

Which makes me excited. "Well, don't leave me hangin'. What is it?"

"I was going to wait until you're home tomorrow to tell you." I know she's going to tell me or she wouldn't have brought it up.

"Nope. You're not allowed to do that, Ma. You can't tell me you have news and sound so stoked you're ready to burst and then withhold. That's cruel. Spill." She knows I'm only half joking. "Seriously Ma, I won't be able to concentrate on the show tonight if I know you're holding out on me."

"Eric surprised me and showed up here last night."

"That's cool." This is not her news. Ma and Doc Banks and have been spending a lot of time together traveling back and forth to see each other.

"He proposed to me."

"And?" I don't know why I'm holding my breath, but I am.

"I said yes!" she squeals. It's one of the most innocent, insanely happy things I've ever heard.
 

And now I have tears in my eyes. Happy tears because my mom deserves this. She deserves to be loved and have a partner to grow old with. "Congratulations, Ma." I wipe a tear away that's rolling down my cheek. "I kinda wish you would've waited to tell me in person now, because this doesn't feel right that I can't hug the shit out of you. I'm so happy for you, Ma. Doc Banks is a lucky dude."

"Thank you, Gus. Are you sure you're okay with this? I mean, you like him?"

"Of course I'm okay with this. He's a great guy."

She sighs in relief. "Good."

"And besides, I get a kickass brother out of the deal."

She laughs. "And a niece."

I have to pause when she says it. "Damn. I hadn't thought about that. I'll be Stella's uncle. How awesome is that? No offense Ma, but that may be my favorite thing to come out of this whole set-up."

"None taken. She'll be my granddaughter—I get it." She does. Ma loves Stella.

"So, when's the wedding?"

"No date yet, but soon. We'll have a small ceremony here at the house."

"That sounds perfect. So, I assume Doc's moving to San Diego?"

"Yes. He'll be here in two weeks. He got a position at San Diego General in the ER."

"That's great." And now I'm thinking about how different it will be to have another man in the house. And I'm also thinking it's best if I give them some space. They deserve to start their new life together. And I deserve to start mine. It's time.

"Thanks honey."

"Does Keller know?" I feel like I need to call him and welcome him to the family.

"Yes, Eric called him this afternoon. He's happy for us."

"I bet he is. He gets a badass stepmom out of the deal."

She laughs again. "Well honey, I need to let you go. I need to get back to work. Good luck tonight. Can't wait to see you tomorrow. I love you."

"Don't need luck; I've got Franco, Jamie, and Robbie. Can't wait to see you, too. I love you."

"Bye, sweetie."

"Bye, Ma."

I immediately call Keller but it goes to voicemail. I'm sure he's at work. So I text him.
BROTHER!!

He calls back just as we're getting on the bus after the show to head to the airport.
 

"Brother!" I answer.

"Hey, bro, crazy isn't it?" He sounds as happy as I am.

"Pretty fucking crazy, yeah. It's a good crazy though."

"Definitely. My dad's a different man since the divorce. Audrey brings out the best in him. It's great."

"Does your mom know?" I question.

"I doubt it. We're still not talking. I should probably call her one of these days. The resentment's faded. It's time."

"What does Stella think? She does know she's getting the best uncle in the history of uncles, right?"

He laughs. "Baby girl is well aware of that fact. I think that's her favorite part."

"Yes! That's what I said, too."

"I've got some good news, too. I've got a job interview next Monday. I've already had two over the phone and they want me to come in person for the final. I'm ninety-nine percent sure it's in the bag."

That has to be a relief to him. I'm sure he's feeling a lot of pressure to find a job now that's he's graduated. "Right on. Where at? Same school you interned at?"

"No. It's in San Diego." He's smiling. I hear it loud and clear.

"What? Get the fuck out?" How fucking awesome would it be to have Keller and Stella in SoCal with us?

"Yeah. It was kind of a last minute thing that came up. There aren't any positions open around Minneapolis and I'd have to sub this school year, so I started searching the San Diego school district not really expecting to find anything."

"I'll be home tomorrow so I'll be there when you guys come down. I can drive you around. Whatever you need. And I'll take you out and we'll celebrate."

"Sounds good. I'd better let you go, man. I know it's late, or more accurately early, there."

"Okay. See you in a few, bro."

"Okay, bro. Later."

"Peace out."

My entire life changed in the span of a day. And the best part is, I'm totally on board with it. I'm ready. I've got a lot of work to do when I get home.

Thursday, August 23

(Scout)

I hear his sleepy voice before I see him. "If you aren't a sight for sore eyes." When I look up from my desk, Gus is holding a vase of red roses and wearing an exhausted, but content smile.

"I could say the same. Hi, babe." God, even with dark circles under his eyes he's still gorgeous.

He sets the vase down on my desk and then wraps me up in a hug that feels like he's put up walls to the world outside and it's only us inside. My face is pressed into his T-shirt and I close my eyes and inhale him. Not just his manly scent, but ... him. All of him. "I've missed you so much."

He kisses my forehead. "Not as much as I've missed you, sweetheart."

When I look up at him, his eyes meet mine. "You're early."

"Caught an earlier connecting flight in New York. I had someone I couldn't wait to see. I asked the pilot to fly the plane faster, too." The way he's grinning, I have no doubt he really did.

I kiss him once and I have to remind myself that I'm at work, surrounded by people. People that I'm sure are watching us right now.

I whisper in Gus's ear, "Is everyone staring at us?"

He answers, not lowering his voice. "Every move we make. It should be pretty exciting for them by the time I get to third base."

I can't hold it in and burst out laughing.

"I've missed that laugh."

I kiss him just below his ear before I let him go. "You need to get home and sleep."

"With you, yes." He raises his eyebrows for emphasis.
 

"Did you take a cab here?"

He nods.

"You can take my car home. I'll ride home with Audrey. I'd cut out early and go with you, but we have a meeting with a big client this afternoon."

We're walking out the back door to the parking lot now. "We could have sex in the car."

"The meeting starts in ten minutes."

"I'm killer under pressure." If he didn't look so tired, I'd believe him. Hell, I believe him anyway.

I kiss him at my car.
 

He grabs my ass.

"Thanks for the flowers. They're beautiful."

He's behind the wheel now, starting the engine. "Like you. I'm gonna go get crazy comatose for a few hours. I'll be all rested up for you tonight. I'm gonna put your marathon running stamina to the test again. Put your panties in your purse before you come home."

I wink. "Already done. Now go home and snuggle Spare Ribs, she's missed you."
 

My stamina was put to the test. It's one o'clock in the morning. Gus is holding me and I'm lying with my head on his chest.

"I love San Diego sex," he says. He's running his fingertips up and down my arm.

"Me too. I think it's my favorite," I answer.

"Only one thing would make it better."

I take the bait. "What's that?"

"Doing it in our own bed. In our own place."

I pull off his chest and lay my head on the pillow next to him. It's a full moon outside and I can see his face in the light coming in through the window. I think I know what he's getting at, but I want to make sure. I want to hear him to say it.

"I'm moving out. I want you to come with me." He's as serious as I've ever seen him.

"You want to live with me?"

He nods. "Every single day. What do you say?"

I nod. "I say yes."

He kisses me on the tip of my nose. "I say thank you."

Friday, August 31

(Scout)

The past week has been insane. Everything happened at once.
 

Keller got a teaching job here in San Diego. He starts next week.

Gus flew to Minneapolis and helped Keller and Stella drive his car and a moving truck back here and we helped them get set up in an apartment nearby.
 

Eric moved in with Audrey and started his job at the hospital.

Paxton moved into the dorms at San Diego State. He starts classes Monday.

And Gus and I moved into a small house on the beach not far from Audrey's. We signed a six month lease. Gus wants to buy a house, but I'm scared to spend the money. I'm not scared of making a commitment with him; I'm just scared of the financial obligation. I'm working on courage in all areas of my life so I know he'll win eventually. He always does. I can't say no to him.

Saturday, October 20

(Scout)

"Remember when we met and you hated me?" he asks. It's dark outside, and we're sitting on a chaise lounge on the deck of our new place. I'm settled comfortably between his legs with my back resting against his chest. We're eating saltines and peanut butter and drinking grape juice.

"I didn't hate you. I just didn't really like anyone back then. It was nothing personal. I didn't know what good men were like."

"We've come a long way, Girl Scout." He's reminiscing. Gus is a deep guy. He thinks through everything with his heart.

"We have." That's an understatement. "I'm a completely different person thanks to you."
 

"Do you ever step back from your life and ask,
How in the hell did I get here? How did I get so lucky
?"

I rub his thigh with my palm. "Every minute of every day, babe. I never dreamt I'd have someone like you to love. Who'd love me back."

"Scout?" He kisses the back of my head. It's a loving gesture that I feel all the way down to my toes.
 

"Yeah?"

"I want to make babies with you. Lots of them. Do you want kids?" The sincerity in his voice just made my heart clench in the best way possible. "I mean, I know you lost a baby and I can't imagine how hard that was for you. I don't want to put any pressure on you; I just want you to be honest with me. Would you be willing to try again? With me?"