Haeven (26 page)

“Herrik,” I wanted to contradict him, to
tell him that, yes, I wanted to leave but only because I couldn’t
bear facing him every day with all that was in my heart and knowing
we could never be together.

“How could I have done this?! To you…to
myself! Having you live with Penny, encouraging you to study with
Artur, making you train with Avery and taking you out whenever I
could to share all the richness of the arts with you.  God
himself could not have designed a more perfect woman for me,”
Herrik laid his forehead against my chest as I stroked his hair and
quietly listened to what sounded very much like a confession to
me.  “I meant what I said earlier, Emily, you are everything
to me.  I love you,” he looked up his eyes full of all the
emotions warring inside of him.

“I have no regrets, Herrik.  I am proud
of who I am, who you’ve helped me to become.  I love you for
it and Penny and Avery and Artur, too!”

“Do you?”

“Of course I do!”

“But it’s only temporary Emily; it can only
last so long and then…You don’t want a life like mine,” he
sighed.  I started to interject, “I’ve seen your thoughts,
Emily, felt your hopes and dreams! And even if I hadn’t I wouldn’t
let you make that choice.  I would find a way to…to…discourage
you!”

What could I say, there was nothing I could
say.  “Herrik, please, let’s not talk about these
things.  There are too many other things for us to worry about
right now besides the future is something that neither one of us
can predict.” I tilted his chin and kissed him.

He smiled weakly, “You’re right.  Now
is not the time but promise me…promise me that when it comes you’ll
let me do what needs to be done.”

I thought about refusing but his expression
was so earnest and full of love I would have said anything to make
him happy, “I promise.”

“Thank you,” he took my hand and eased me
from his lap.  “I have to get a few things before we
leave.”

I watched him go and waited patiently until
he returned.  It was only a minute or so later when he came
back carrying a small bag of belongings.  “Shall we?”

“Yes,” I smiled giddy at the prospect of
having him spend the night.

“After you.”

The last of the light was fading from the
garden and by the time we reached my apartment I knew Herrik was
feeling the first effects of the approaching dawn so many stories
above us.  He looked weary and moved with a slightly sluggish
air.  I doubt anyone would have noticed the changes, they were
so subtle, but I sensed that he needed to rest and after letting us
into the apartment quickly ushered him down the hall to my
bedroom. 

Penny hadn't waited up for me and
fortunately her bedroom was on the opposite end of the apartment so
she didn’t hear us come in.  I squeezed Herrik’s hand knowing
we escaped the need for explanations for the time being and he
smiled down at me.  Once we were safely locked away I went to
the curtains and pulled them all closed then turned on the
light.

When I was done I whirled about and found
that Herrik was standing right behind me.  He had a strange
look in his eyes that I didn’t fully understand.  “May I?” he
asked as he began to unbutton the shirt he had lent to
me. 

“So soon?”

“No, just this,” he smiled, “for now. 
I want to feel you when you lie down next to me.  I want you
to be the first thing I feel when I wake,” he ran his fingers up
and down and around my navel. 

We helped each other from our clothes then
Herrik drew back the covers and together we crawled into bed and
coiled ourselves around one another. 

“I love you,” he whispered and kissed my
temple.

“Take me somewhere,” I mumbled as I nestled
against him.

“Where would you like to go?”

I closed my eyes and yawned, “Somewhere warm
and soft and happy.”

I felt myself swaying, back and forth, back
and forth.  Herrik’s strong arms were wrapped around me and
dappled sunlight was shining down on us.  There was a light
breeze and the leaves were rustling above our heads.  When I
opened my eyes I got the sense that it was springtime and the world
was just coming into bloom.  We were lying in a hammock tied
between two slender birch trees.  There were a pair of
squirrels nearby, chasing one another and the birds were
singing.  In the background was a soft, tinkling brook or
stream that added to the chorus and united itself with the other
sounds.

“Perfect,” I took a deep breath and let
myself drift off while Herrik stroked my arm with the tips of his
fingertips.

It was hard to wake up the following morning
but Herrik was insistent.  He kept nibbling my ear and
whispering my name, “Emily…come on Emily…it’s time to get up.”

“Five more minutes,” I mumbled.

“Uh, uh…we have a lot to do today.  Try
and wake up…please,” he ran his teeth over my neck and urged me
further from sleep. 

“Ugh,” I moaned grumpily at first but when I
opened my eyes and saw him smiling across the pillow at me I lost
all my anger.

He leaned over and kissed me, “Good
morning!”

“Good morning,” I kissed him back. 

His lips lingered against mine and it sent a
wave of heat rushing through my body.  Herrik must have sensed
it and sitting up he eased the covers down until we were both
completely exposed.  I felt him admiring me and blushed at the
appreciation in his eyes. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he caressed my hair
then my cheek.  I tried to sit up so I could participate but
Herrik had other ideas.  He gently put his hands on my
shoulders and laid me back down then began a fervent exploration of
my body. 

Tauntingly, teasingly with lips and tongue
and fingers he roved over every square inch of my skin watching the
flesh ripple with goose bumps wherever he strayed. 

“I love this,” he said as he kissed one of
my nipples, “and this,” he ran his tongue around my belly button,
“and this,” his fingers played along the inside of my thigh.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing when he
tickled me or from crying out at the desperate desire I suffered
from wanting to be with him again. 

He was devilishly calm though and determined
it seemed to make me wait.  Herrik eased my legs apart and I
buried my face in my pillow as his tongue found its mark and
caressed me just to the point where I thought I would climax
without him but he abruptly pulled away.

I nearly cried at the sudden denial but
then, oh, finally, I felt him hard against me and I reached down
and urged him inside. 

“Oh, Herrik,” I breathed. 

His strokes were long and leisurely, gently
in, not quite all the way, then slowly, oh, so slowly out.  My
hips tried to hold him, to take more of him than he was giving but
he wouldn’t allow it.  He was enjoying it far too much, the
torture he was putting me through.  It made me peevish and
resentful. I tried to force myself not to give in, to forget how
enticing it was and to not let him know how delirious he was making
feel.

Unfortunately my resistance only intensified
the wondrous sensations he was creating and my struggle was short
lived.  I sat up no longer willing to be passive and dragged
him down on top of me.  I rolled him over so I could control
our progress.  For a brief moment I tried to be patient and to
give him some time to savor the experience but my body was moving
of its own volition.

Herrik raised one of his fingers to his lips
and ran his tongue all around it.  Then he surprised me and
after a brief search found what he was looking for.  He
matched his rhythm to mine and stroked me as I brought him in and
out, in and out.  It felt unimaginable and my yearning
amplified to a near unbearable point.  I leaned back and
braced myself, thrusting, thrusting.  He grasped my hips and
like a signal we both cried out in frantic fulfilment. 

“Emily?  Are you alright?” Penny
lightly knocked on the door. 

Herrik and I both snapped out of our carnal
haze.

“I’m fine,” I chuckled unable to think of
anything whatsoever to say.

“Are you sure?”

“Yep.”

“You got in very late last night.  If
you’re hungry I can make some breakfast.”

I looked at Herrik wonderingly.  He
nodded, “Sounds great.  I’ll be right out.”

We flung ourselves out of bed and hurriedly
cleaned ourselves up and got dressed.  I finished before
Herrik and went to the door intending to go straight to the kitchen
to see if there was anything I could help Penny with.  When I
opened it though my heart fell to my feet because she was standing
right there poised to knock again.

“I was going to ask what you thought you
might like to eat…oh,” she glanced over my shoulder to where Herrik
was standing tucking his shirt in.

Penny’s face fell in shock.

“It’s not what you think,” the words rushed
out.

“Not what I think?!  It had better be
what I think and about damn time, too!” her expression went into a
wild, confused, happy smile.

Herrik was just as surprised as I was by the
warm reception to our obvious escapades.  He said good morning
to Penny then came and stood behind me putting his hands on my
shoulders.  He kissed my cheek as if to confirm all of Penny’s
suspicions.  I laid one of my hands over his, “Would you like
to stay or do you need to get home?” I asked.

“Artur is waiting for me, sorry.”

“Next time.”

“Next time,” then he bent and whispered in
my ear, “I love you.  Come whenever you can.  Artur would
like to speak with you, too.”  I nodded and offered to walk
him to the door but Herrik insisted he let himself out.  I
said goodbye then turned to face Penny.

“So how long has this been going on?” she
asked.

“Oh, Penny!  Please don’t tease
me!”

“Tease you?  No, I’m happy for
you!  Thrilled for you…for you both!”

“I don’t want anyone to know.  Please
don’t say anything to anyone.”

Penny frowned, “Now who would I say anything
to and even if I did have someone to tell who wouldn’t rejoice at
the idea of you and Herrik together?  I’m sure everyone would
be just as excited to know that you both have found some happiness
after all that you’ve been through.”

“It’s too soon,” I insisted.  “This was
the first time…second…our first night together…”

“Twice in one night?!  My you are a
little minx!”

“Penny!” I was aghast and buried my face in
my hands.

“I’m sorry,” she quickly apologized. 
“I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to embarrass you.  I couldn’t
resist.  Besides, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, especially
knowing the way you two feel about one another.”

“Good Lord!  Am I the only one that
didn’t know?” I started walking towards the kitchen.

“Probably, yes.  We’ve all
suspected.”

“Well, it’s complicated and I would rather
not share it with anyone until it’s absolutely necessary.”

“I understand,” Penny went to the fridge and
gave me a rundown of what she thought I might like to eat.

I knew she had dozens of questions that she
wanted to ask but thankfully she honored my wishes and didn’t press
me to answer any of them.  I carefully evaded any topics that
might force me to mention Herrik and knew that she was thoroughly
dissatisfied with what she had learned by the time breakfast was
over.

“Herrik said that Artur needed to see me,” I
told her once we had cleaned up.  “I’m not sure when I’ll be
back but I’ll try to send Avery if it looks like it will go beyond
lunchtime.  Is there anything you need before I go?”

“Just this,” she threw her arms around me
and hugged me tight, “I’m so happy for you,” she wiped a few tears
from her eyes.

“Thank you, Penny.  Thank you for…for
everything.”

I was edgy during the walk to Herrik’s
apartment; I couldn’t help wondering how I would need to act in
front of Artur and Avery, too, if he happened to be there.

“No, I’m right here.”

“Avery!”  I must have been too keyed up
to keep my thoughts concealed.

“Herrik sent me.  Just to be safe,” he
quickly added.  “And speaking of safe…just a friendly
reminder…”

“I know,” I tucked my thoughts away, “I’ll
be more careful.  Have you been to Herrik’s yet?”

“No, I’ve been waiting for you.”

Avery matched my stride.  He walked
beside me with his hands clutched behind his back as though he was
in some silent contemplation with himself.

“Is everything alright?”

“Hmm,” he mumbled, “yes.  Fine. 
I…” he frowned, “I know we haven’t always…”

I shook my head, “Please, you don’t have
to…”

“I do.  I’ve misjudged you.  More
than once.  Last night…you stayed so calm…you were so
strong…so strong for him…for Herrik.  Besides Artur there is
no other person I admire more.”

“Not even Penny?”

Avery stopped in his tracks.

“Oh, my!  I’m sorry!  I didn’t
mean to say that,” I reached out and touched his arm.

“It’s OK.  There are some things our
blood just can’t hide.  That is between you and I though, and
only you and I.”

“You can take it away if you like,” I opened
my mind up for him.

“No.  I don’t think that’s
necessary.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologized again. 

We were nearing the pond and when we got to
the water’s edge Avery stopped me, “I wasn’t supposed to be
there.  I don’t know why I went, why I followed you. 
Curiosity?  Jealously?  I watched the two of you go and
couldn't help wishing and imagining that it was me and Penny. 
I could never be the kind of man Herrik is though.  She would
never love me the way you love Herrik.”

I shook my head, “You don’t know that.”

“I do.  Women like you and like Penny
do not love men like me.  You love men like Herrik and…” Avery
paused as though he was about to say something and thought better
of it, “that’s just the way it is.”