Half Black Soul (19 page)

Jackson threw his flannelled arm over my shoulder. Course, he replied. I'm worried about her too. He sniffed the air and then bent down and sniffed my shoulder. His head tilted to the side. Have you been in the forest? he asked.

My body went tense. I wasn't going to answer, but what difference did it really make now? Jackson already knew my biggest secret. If I couldn't trust him, I was already screwed. I nodded.

Jackson's face grew serious. Look, I know you're on a mission. I get it. I would probably be doing the same things if I were you. But, those woods are dangerous. You shouldn't go into them alone.

What's out there? I asked.

Well, aside from the native predators, the wolf students sometimes take their runs out there. What do you think would happen if you ran into Victoria? Or anyone for that matter? It's not worth the risk, Nelly.

I nodded, and Jackson rubbed his knuckles gently into the top of my head. That a girl, he said.

I laughed and knocked his hand away, but there was no way that I could heed his warning. It had never mattered to Alexa that something she was doing was a risk if it meant keeping me safe. I agreed with him that Searching in the woods was dangerous, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to do it. I was on a mission, indeed. I just didn't know that I was going to be sealing my fate in the process.

Alexa

We stopped for food when we reached West Virginia. The town we were heading to was hardly a dot on the map of Pennsylvania, but we'd been driving all day, and we'd reach it in the next hour or so. Kayden suggested we stop before we get there and work out some sort of plan while we filled our bellies. I agreed. I was so sick of being in the car anyway.

He asked me what I would like to eat, and when I just shrugged, he chose a place for us. It was a small Italian restaurant that had both a nice restaurant area and side separated by a wall where you could order take-out. I wondered if he knew that Italian was my favorite or if he'd just chosen it because it was close by. When I asked, he smiled and told me it was his favorite as well. Figures.

We went around to the restaurant side and were seated immediately by the host. The lighting on this side was low and pleasant, and soft, wordless music played in the background. The tables had white linens draped over them with small, clear vases holding purple flowers at the center. I instantly felt a little underdressed, and it didn't make me feel any better that Kayden was in just jeans and a t-shirt. When you look like him, I figure you can pretty much wear whatever you want.

A waitress came by to get our drink orders. She was a pretty girl, with curly blond hair and a radiant smile. Her uniform was all black, and she looked to be maybe three or four years older than me; closer to Kayden's age, though I'd never asked him exactly how old he was. Her eyes sort of skipped over me, and locked on Kayden as she gave her opening spiel. She placed a red-manicured hand on her curvy hip. She wasn't overweight in any sense of the word, but she was bigger than me. Well, most people were bigger than me, so I didn't understand why I felt a bit self-conscious with her standing there. It was probably the way she was looking at Kayden.

I removed my eyes from the blonde to look at Kayden, who was paying her no mind. It didn't seem to be on purpose, his look was just naturally disinterested. I got the feeling it wasn't because he didn't find the waitress attractive, just that he was generally intolerant of people. He knew how to be civilized, but whenever possible, he kept to himself. Like me. My sister had a term for it: Schizoid.

So, I supposed I shouldn't be jealous with this waitress practically drooling down his shirt. But, I was. And, my unwelcome friend just happened to wake up, and thought it was funny.

We could kick her ass.

I didn't respond. It was a stupid, tempting idea, though.

Relax. Kidding... But, seriously, we could.

Shut up, I mumbled.

Beside me, the waitress drew in her breath in a way that was hardly audible. I hadn't been paying attention. She'd probably just asked for my drink order. Her hand remained on her hip. Excuse me? she said, and I could tell she was trying to remain professional, but a girl knows when another girl is challenging her. At least I always imagine I do.

I looked up from my hands and found the waitress eyes. Whatever she saw there made her cringe visibly, and I knew what she had to be thinking. She thought her sure and sudden fear of me was irrational, but it was present nonetheless. From afar, I seemed to be just a young girl, but up close, when people look into my eyes, they seem to sense what I really am. Like deer, some humans just knowwhen they've encountered a predator. The waitress jaw snapped shut.

Water, please, was all I said. In my head, my monster chuckled.

The waitress scuttled off, and I couldn't help but notice that she did so with a little more pep in her step, and without grabbing one more look at Kayden. I sat back in my seat, and yes, I felt a little smug. Kayden looked up at me.

Spaghetti and meatballs? he asked.

I gave a half smile. Yep.

Kayden set the menus aside and then just sat staring at me. I returned my eyes to my hands and cleared my throat. I wanted to tell him to take a picture already, but somehow I wasn't in the mood to be sarcastic. Instead, I said the second thing that came to mind. How old are you? I asked.

Kayden's eyebrows rose, then he looked down at the table. Twenty-five, he replied.

Huh, I'd been right on target. When's your birthday?

August.

Eight years older than me, then. Oh, was my stupid response.

He looked up at me then, and I couldn't keep from bouncing my heels off the floor. It amazed me that after the incident in the hotel room, he could still make me so nervous. Looking straight at his face was so difficult it was almost painful, and I couldn't help but draw my breath in silently and hold it there when his golden eyes looked at me like they were right now.

He glanced around, even though we were alone on this side of the restaurant, and spoke quietly, soft Scottish accent becoming a little bit more prominent with the whisper. Warrior, he began, I want you to know that I will follow you in your missions, and I will stand beside you in your battles in the days to come. I know in my soul that what you fight for is righteous, and though you can be stubborn and hard-headed, he gave a small smirk, I have every faith that you will chose the right path.

I cleared my throat. This was a serious speech, and his serious face proved it. Okay, I said. Thanks.

But, he continued. I need to know that you will let me help you when you need it. You can't keep me out. If you truly intend to take down the King, you have much worse days ahead of you than yesterday. I cringed. His voice grew lower still, and his face even more serious. People will have to die, Alexa. And, some of them will be by your hand. I need to know that you will let me help you deal with that. You'll have to share the fire. The heat will be too much for just you.

You don't need him. You've got me.

You're the goddamn reason I do need him.

I sighed. Okay, I said. My monster added, But, don't betray me again.

Kayden reached across the table and took my hands into his big, warm ones. Wouldn't dream of it, Warrior. And, I'm sorry for hurting you.

Didn't hurt me.

Just shut up, Already!

You're crazy.

Yeah, I know.

I squeezed Kayden's hands. I would trust him, because I didn't have a choice. And, with that decision made, I said the first stupid thing on my mind. I think I'm going crazy, I whispered.

The waitress returned before Kayden could respond, and I was happy when he just said, Two of the spaghetti and meatballs, before she could even get a word out. She sauntered away, and when she was gone, Kayden shook his head in front of me, still clutching my hands. No. You're not crazy, he told me firmly.

I didn't want to admit this next part, but it fell out of my mouth anyhow. I've been talking to myself. In my head, I paused. Actually, out loud too, I mumbled.

Kayden shook his head once more. You've been fighting against your nature, he said.

Well, the gates were open. I don't want to be like this, I said, and the truth in my words echoed in my ears. I'd never said it out loud before, but I think I've always felt that way. Even as a child, when I'd be tempted to do things that I knew were wrong, I didn't want to want to do them.

I continued. I couldn't help myself. I don't want to be a Warrior. I don't want to look at others and send them running with their tales between their legs. I don't want to hold the fates of so many people in my hands. I don't want to be hearing voices and fighting for self-control all the time. I just want to be normal.

In front of me, Kayden smiled. He reached his hand up and brushed my hair back with the tips of his fingers. This is life, Alexa, he told me.

I laughed. The smile stayed on my lips. For whatever reason, those three plainly spoken words got through to me. They made sense. They made me feel better. No shit, I said, and we both laughed.

The meals arrived shortly after that, and apparently, neither Kayden nor I were much for talking while we ate. Around bites, I managed to tell Kayden what little information Olivia had given me about the man we were seeking out. His name was Charles Smigget, and apparently he wasn't the most welcoming of fellows. But, according to Olivia, he knew where Dangeon was, and that was all I cared about. I just hoped that I wouldn't have to break down his door and tie him to a chair to get him to tell me. But, I would if I had to.

We finished up our meals, and despite my protests, Kayden paid the bill. I shot a wide smile at the blonde waitress as Kayden held the door for me and followed me out to the car. Today wasn't so bad after all. It was still cloudy outside, but the rain had slowed down. I was sick of being on the road, but I had Kayden to keep me company. And, oh yeah, I hadn't killed anyone. Not bad at all.

Nelly

The first thing I did when I made it back to my dorm room was take a shower. I had been sweating up a storm today with all the Searching I'd done, and apparently, I smelled like the forest. When I went into the bathroom, I looked in the mirror. My hair was disheveled and my hands and face a bit dirty, but I looked better than I had for the past two days. Or maybe it was more than that. My face was the same, but it seemed to have a glow to it that I'd never seen before. I realized then how much my practice in the woods had exhilarated me. If it weren't for the nagging feeling of being on the edge of discovering what were more than likely awful secrets, and the ever present hole in my chest as a result of my absent sister, I would have called my overall look happy. But, happy was one thing I was not.

I pulled a black pair of sweatpants and a black sweater out of the small dresser by my bed, and laughed at myself. All I needed was a black ski mask and I would be ready to rob a bank. My nerves were a mess. I had no idea what this meeting was about or what I was going to learn there, but I had a strong feeling that it wasn't going to be a chili recipe. I was going to head to the spot where Gavin and Patterson would meet about an hour before the scheduled time. That should give me plenty of time to Search the surrounding area, make sure no one saw me, and find a place where I could lay low and wait. Alexa wouldn't like me doing this, but I thought she might be proud of my determination.

Before I left my room, I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, shut off the light, and headed out. It wasn't cold outside at all, and the rain had continued to hold off, but I was shivering and trembling the whole way. I couldn't seem to make my body relax. Since my sister left, I'd been doing all sorts of things that I wouldn't normally do. I almost felt like I was a different person. As I made my way across the center square of the dorm buildings, my strides long and quick, I couldn't help but think of how Alexa must have felt her entire life. She'd done plenty of things when we were growing up that she wouldn't have done normally, and looking back, I knew that the majority of them she'd done to protect me. She was always so strong and sure in her actions, but they'd also always caused her turmoil, even though she never once admitted it. So, now, when it was my turn to return the favor, I was quite literally shivering in my boots. But, like Alexa, I was pretty sure in my actions, so I wondered if it wasn't that I was doing things that made me feel like a different person, but rather that this was a rare time when I would have to do things that showed my true colors.

Of course, because the fates had decided recently that they were going to keep on pulling the rug out from underneath me, I only made it halfway across the square before someone called out to me. And, of course, it was not someone I wanted to deal with at the moment.

Nelly! Hey, Nelly, said a sweet voice behind me.

I turned around and slapped a false smile on my face. At least it was something I was good at. Oh, hey Bethany, I said, pausing so that she could catch up at me. I snuck a glance at my watch. I didn't have time for this.

Bethany jogged up and walked along side me. Where you headed? she asked.