Halfling (Black Petals Book 1) (16 page)

I nod in thanks, then we head over to Crispen’s place. When I get out of the car down the street from the familiar apartment building, I take in a breath of the city air and a sense of déjà vu hits me. The last time I was here, I was kidnapped by my father’s monkey Darius.

Aiden follows me to the apartment building door. An array of call buttons are arranged on the wall. I don’t remember the exact room number we went in last time I was here, but most of the rooms are attached, so I wonder if all the buttons ring the same place. I push the first one and the voice on the other end is clearly Crispen. My heart leaps. “We don’t want any,” he says, assuming that I’m some sort of salesman. I ring the button again.

When he picks up, I say, “It’s Megan, Crispen, get down here.”

The other end is silent, but only a moment passes before the apartment building door is unlocked and Crispen stands on the other side of the glass door, eyes wide. He eyes Aiden like he’s some sort of bug or snake. Aiden stays close behind me. Seeing Crispen stirs things in me that I forgot existed, and I immediately pull him into a hug, when he eventually unlocks and opens the glass door.

“Megan, what’s going on? What happened? I thought you were dead, I thought
they
killed you,” he glowers at Aiden who remains silent and still as if not phased. “They took you and Blayk in the middle of the night. It was like you both just disappeared.”

“My father came for me. This is Aiden, my uh…well, he’s my
mentor.
I’ve been living with him,” I explain quickly.

“Megan, he’s a demon, you do realize he’s a fricken demon, right?” Crispen scolds me, his hand moving to his pocket, where I’m sure there’s a knife. He cusses.

“Yes, I know what he is.
I
am half demon, Crispen, do you not remember that?”

He ignores me, still looking at Aiden. “I don’t suppose you’ve brought her here to return her to us, have you?”

Aiden shakes his head. “Not unless she chooses to stay. If she wishes to stay then she is free to do so by me, not by the law, but by me,” Aiden replies casually.

Crispen looks at him as if trying to read his mind or something. The men are quiet for a long second, before Crispen’s gaze turns to mine. “You mean she’s registered in the database already? It’s too late for me to do anything?”

Aiden must nod, because suddenly Crispen is fuming.

“You’re the ones who told her about this world,
Crispen
. You know our rules,” Aiden says as calmly as I think is possible. I know he’s ready to snap, but he keeps his cool.

Crispen must not have a comeback, because he looks to me with apology in his eyes and frowns. He’s blaming himself. Blaming himself for nothing. Yes, it sucks that I found out about this world, but it was my fault that I somehow accidently stumbled into my half-brothers, not his. Well, actually it’s my father’s fault for compelling me as a baby, which apparently is another word for brainwashing. Crispen just told me about this world and explained it to me. I would’ve fallen into it anyways eventually.

“Megan, I will fix this,” Crispen promises, looking hurt.

“No, Crispen, I’ve come here to say goodbye and thank you for everything that you’ve done for me. Being what I am, obviously we cannot be friends any longer. I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay, and I’m happy.”

“
Happy
? You’re
happy?
” Crispen scoffs loudly and kicks a pane of glass out of anger. It shatters into a million pieces, sending some of the shards into my leg. I wince and look down to see blood.

Aiden is then in Crispen’s face in an instant. “Look, hunter, you can be pissed off all you want, but was it really necessary to injure a lady out of your mere anger and disproval?”

Crispen’s anger fades and turns to regret and sympathy. “Megan, I’m sorry, let me get that out for you. Aiden, get out of my face, before I decide to give it plastic surgery.”

It takes a minute for me to realize that Crispen has called Aiden by his name. They know each other? Aiden never mentioned this before. “You know Aiden?” I demand, looking to Aiden and Crispen both for answers.

Crispen nods. “Yes, actually. I killed his disgusting half demonic daughter.” Crispen nearly spits on Aiden as he speaks, and I see Aiden’s chest rise and fall violently like he’s about to explode. What the hell, why did Aiden never mention this?

The fact that Crispen speaks of another halfling like this, the fact that he killed one and no regret shines in his eyes, makes me furious. It revolts me. Why am I any different than Aiden’s daughter? What’s stopping him from killing me?

“What? Is that true?” I ask, looking to Aiden.

Aiden nods. “Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“I didn’t know how to tell you that the guy who killed my precious daughter was the same guy you befriended, Megan. How do you tell someone that?” Aiden asks, vibrating with anger towards Crispen.

He kept it from me so I wasn’t hurt? He came here, knowing he’d come face-to-face with his daughter’s murderer, just to make sure I’d be safe?

A whole other side of Crispen is set out before me, and I suddenly want to hit him square in the jaw. Any care for Crispen that blossomed in correlation with our friendship, disappears in this moment as fury overwhelms me.

“Let’s go, Aiden. I’m done here,” I shout angrily, glaring at Crispen. “This was obviously a mistake.”

Crispen looks at me as if I should feel pride or something that he killed Aiden’s daughter. Instead, I’m hurt, blatantly pissed off, and appalled. Plus, my legs stings like a bitch. Holy gum drop manta ray puff balls I’m ticked off. I’m surprised that’s smoke doesn’t come out my ears like on cartoons.

Aiden takes a step back from Crispen, turns, and motions for me to take the lead out the door. Just as I’m about to turn, I see Crispen pull something shiny from his pocket faster than my mind can process. I’m about to warn Aiden, knowing that my warning will be too late, when Aiden moves impossibly faster than Crispen, grabbing a knife of his own and ducking from Crispen’s murder attempt. My eyes widen in shock. Did Crispen really just try to kill Aiden? If I wasn’t sure about what side I was on three seconds ago, I am now.

I pull my knife from my pocket and while Crispen’s back is to me, wrestling down Aiden, I throw the sharp blade through the air as hard as I can. I know this knife won’t kill him, but it will paralyze him so we can get out of here.

I just hope that Mason and Aria aren’t home to hear this brawl, they must not be, because I assume they’d be down here by now if they were. My blade slices into Crispen’s back and Aiden lets him go, backing away from him. Crispen turns to look at me, confusion, hurt, and then hate spreading across his face, before he falls to the ground. Aiden sends me a forced smile of approval and then grabs my arm and rushes me out the door, down the street, and to the car and the guards which Aiden told to stay back.

As we pull away, he sighs deeply. “Well, that went well.”

I don’t say anything, forcing myself to stare out the window. I don’t know what I was expecting from Crispen, but that wasn’t it. Aiden was right in assuming that Crispen would attack us. I mean, he didn’t attack
me
, but the fact that he killed Aiden’s daughter is enough for me.

“I’m sorry for putting you in that situation. That was dumb of me,” I apologize. What if I would have gotten Aiden hurt or even
killed
?

I glance at Aiden, he licks his lips and shakes his head, looking deep in thought. “No, Megan, I’m sorry that you had to go through what you just did. I know how much you care for Crispen, and his unacceptance is a harsh reality.”

“Yeah, well I don’t care about his acceptance or his approval. Especially not now after that. I can’t
believe
that he killed your daughter, Aiden, you should’ve told me that,” I say in a quick frustrated rant.

“Yeah, I know,” he answers in a whisper as our vehicle speeds back to the house. “Good work with the knife. That was quick thinking. I had it under control, but that was pretty awesome for a halfling to take down an original hunter like that. You don’t see that every day.”

“He was distracted. Anyone could have done it,” I argue.

“It doesn’t matter. Good job.”

I nod and close my eyes. Is life ever going to give me a break?

“Now let me fix up your leg.”

The next day, Aiden brings in the mail and hands me a small white envelope.

“What is it?” I ask him confused.

“Probably from your father,” Aiden guesses and hands me an expensive golden letter opener. I pry the letter open. Six sentences are scrolled across the page in a familiar handwriting.

Megan,

If you are not on our side, then you are on theirs. If you are on their side, then you are fair game. You have until tonight to change your mind. After that, you are not our friend, but our foe. Watch your back.

Crispen Ranchiller

P.S.

We know where you are now.

I nearly throw up after reading the letter and quickly crumple it up. Aiden is still sifting through his own mail and looks up at me curiously. “What are you doing?” he asks slowly, as if I’m crazy.

When I don’t answer and head towards the garbage, he catches up to me and removes the crumpled paper ball from my hand. “May I?” he asks, about to pull it open again.

I continue to stare at him, and he takes my silence as a yes. He pulls the paper open and flattens it out on the counter. It only takes him a second to read the letter.

“That bastard!” I shout through my anger.

“Yes, indeed. I don’t see how you were ever friends with that insane man, Megan, he’s not stable. He can’t be,” Aiden muses, sounding unconcerned. “Are you okay?”

“I’m ticked off! I’m
mad!
” I say through clenched teeth. Not just that, I’m
hurt
. I want to hit Crispen. Slap him. Is he implying that if I don’t switch sides by tonight, he will not hesitate to kill me? Only two months ago we were best friends. He even felt something more for me than friendship! I too may have felt something for him beyond our friendship. You have to be joking!

“Yeah, I don’t blame you. I hate to do this, Megan, but if this psycho is really going after your ass, I’d prefer you stay out of the city for a while, so he can simmer down. If you really need to go into Toronto, please send a servant or bring me along,” Aiden instructs. He’s not telling me I have to, but he’s insisting that I should listen to him, and I will listen to him, because as hard as it is for me to imagine Crispen attacking and killing me, I’d rather not risk it. I saw the way he was yesterday when he flipped on Aiden, and I wouldn’t stand a chance if that were me he flipped out on. Talk about unstable.

“Yeah, I understand,” I mutter and take the letter from Aiden, throwing it into the trash.

He shakes my shoulder reassuringly. “Let’s go for a walk, Megan.”

I agree, because I feel like the fresh air might make me feel better.

We walk into the garden behind the house, and Aiden picks a rose from a stout bush near a tree. He then hands it to me smiling. “For you, my halfling.”

I take the black rose from him graciously and pinch it lightly between my thumb and index finger, sniffing it. Roses are my favorite flower, but I’ve never seen a black one. I didn’t even know that they existed.

We walk in silence down the stone path that I run on every morning. As we walk, I can’t help but steal glances at Aiden. How could I have ever thought someone so beautiful and kind could be evil? Aiden is so very far from evil. He’s taught me so much and made me feel so at home here. He’s changed me, helped me grow. It’s hard for me to imagine that two months ago I was such a weak woman, someone who knew nothing about this world or my lineage. Now I’m smack dab in the middle of this world.

“Megan, there’s something I need to tell you that I haven’t yet. I know this probably isn’t the best time, but I think you should know,” Aiden says in nearly a whisper. “It’s been bugging me. I have to get it out.”

I glance to him and paste a smile on my face.

“Okay, what?”

“I am not only mentoring you to integrate you into our world. I am mentoring you because in three months you’ll have a choice to make.” He groans as if he really doesn’t want to talk about this. “Halflings who are introduced to this world and mentored, do not remain as halflings. They are too easily used by hunters to gain important private information and killed. Halflings are given the choice of having their soul expelled and becoming a pure demon…or keeping their soul, remaining part human, and taking an early death.”

My heart drops as he speaks this. I’ve always known this. Crispen’s family told me this months ago. I do have to admit, though that I’ve been hoping they were wrong. 

Two months ago, I would have easily picked death over becoming a demon, but now, I’m not so sure. I think I’m too much of a chicken to let myself die, but then again, if I don’t, my soul will be taken from me, and when I do eventually die, I won’t be reborn. Which is the lesser of the two evils?

“You still have three months, but I wanted you to know so you could start planning. This isn’t something that we usually share with the halflings we mentor. Not until a week or so before the choice is to be made.” I’m numb. I’ve been numb since Crispen initially introduced this world to me. I expected the numbness to fade after days or even weeks, but now it’s been
months
. I know I should feel something, but all I feel is calm. I am calm.
Completely calm,
which is something I haven’t been my entire life, not even while I was around Crispen. Okay, maybe there’s a touch of annoyance and anger, but I’m mostly just calm. This is old information, but even though this is old news, should I at least feel something? Shouldn’t I be terrified? I mean, I am terrified, but I’m not
terrified.

“Yes, I already know that,” I say through a deep sigh. “I knew that before I was brought here.”

“Oh,” Aiden says blankly, looking confused.

Awkward silence ensues.

“On a lighter note, I’m going to be around all weekend if you’re down for another poker game,” Aiden smirks and glances at me quickly.

I can’t help but giggle upon remembering our last poker game. “You just want me to kick your ass again.”

He shrugs. “I think it’s my turn to bring home the bacon.”

“You can try,” I tempt him.

My thoughts of worry and anger regarding Crispen dissipate, as I will myself to move on. I’m not new to hurt. I’m not new to abandonment or being disowned. I’ve done this before with my mother, with my father, with friends. I’ve had bad luck with all of my relationships, and now I know why. It’s because of my lineage. Now that I’m with my own kind, maybe I’ll fit in better. Maybe, I’ll make real friends and be able to actually maintain relationships. The demon thing, no, it isn’t so bad for me. What was bad for me was thinking I was mortal and never understanding why I was so different growing up. I never understood why my friends were never truly friends or how the people around me always seemed to find a way to make distance between us. It all makes sense now.

“So I was reading last night, and I have a question.” I don’t wait for him to tell me to continue. “Why is it that some demons sleep during the day?” I recall Darius telling his daughter to go to bed at sunrise.

“Just a life choice like being vegetarian,” Aiden explains quickly. “I’m not sure. Work schedules maybe.”

Oh, well that’s not as exciting as I thought his answer would be.

“Megan, can I ask you something?” Aiden asks after a moment of silence.

“Sure, shoot,” I encourage him enthusiastically.

He picks an apple from a tree and bites into it. He’s quiet for another moment as he chews. “When you came to live with me, I expected you to be…well, I expected you to be shaken up. You’d just been scooped out of bed in the middle of the night, brought to your long lost father, and then shipped off to me. Not only that, you were just thrown into a world where demons exist and you yourself one of them, or at least half of you. Yet after all of that, you moved in with me like nothing was strange, you’ve listened to my every instruction, you’ve listened to all my rules. Now I’ve just mentioned to you that you have to choose between becoming a demon and losing your soul, and letting go of your life. Nothing in your expression even changed. You seemed to accept this. There was no fright.
Why?
Why are you not disturbed by all of this, what is it I’m missing? At first I thought it was shock, but it’s been too long for you to still be in shock. Most halflings are deeply changed and lost after learning about their heritage and being introduced to this world. Why are you different?”

His long-winded question catches me off guard. I wasn’t expecting him to ask me this. The fact that he too finds my lack of care strange, bothers me in a way that I can’t explain. Something deep down inside of me stirs and tells me something
is
wrong with me. It’s not just my imagination. I
should
be taken aback by all of this nonsense, so why am I relatively unbothered?

I stop walking and so does he. We stare at each other both obviously in thought.

“I’ve been expecting myself to crack, but it’s just not happening,” I admit, my brows merging in confusion.

“So you’re not normally so…relaxed?” he asks me and brushes a strand of hair behind my ear delicately.

“No, definitely not.”

“I have to admit that I’m mildly worried that your father has something to do with this,” Aiden says through a sigh.

“What do you mean?”

“As you’ve read, some demons are born with special talents. Only pure bloods have these talents. Your father, well, he has the ability to mess with one’s mind. He can plant fake memories, take away memories, even take away certain emotions. For example, he could removes one’s ability to feel panic, worry, happiness, etcetera,” he discloses. He rubs his thumb across my cheek where a pattern of freckles lay.

“Yeah, it’s called compulsion, right? You think my father brain washed me?” I ask for clarification, my mind reeling. It’s far from farfetched. He even admitted to using compulsion on me as a baby.

“Yes, compulsion. I’m not sure, but I’d bet it was either him or he told one of his servants to do it for him. When was the last time you felt…well…I guess
anxiety
?”

“Like…” I think about it. When
was
the last time I felt anxiety? I have felt minor anxiety or panicked, because I knew that I should be anxious, but the last time that I was truly suffering from anxiety was over two months ago. When I tell him this, he doesn’t seem surprised.

“I bet your father or someone did this to prepare you for all of this.” Aiden motions to my surroundings. “I bet that it was part of his plan.”

I remember when Darius told me to stop screaming in the car and how although I didn’t want to stop screaming, I did. What I it was Darius who compelled me to not be able to feel these emotions? It’s hard for me to pinpoint when exactly it was that I stopped feeling what I should, because I know there are moments of shock mixed into the bunch. Was it before Aria took me to Crispen’s house or was it after? Was it after I spoke with Blayk outside of the apartment building or was it when Darius kidnapped me? After he kidnapped me? Could it have been when I met my father? Maybe it was even on the way to Aiden’s house. I don’t know. There is absolutely no way for me to know.

“I think whoever it was took your ability to freak the hell out, before they brought you to me to make it easier for me to train you. It only makes sense. They implanted a compulsion that made you
compliant
both with the new world around you and the people introducing it to you.” Aiden looks sad, but I can’t understand why.

I don’t know what to say. “How can I fix this?!” I demand, my voice rising in volume, not because I’m freaking out, but because I know that I should be freaking out, and I’m not.

“There are four ways to break compulsion. Kill the person who planted it, the person who planted it removes it, a person capable of stronger compulsion removes it, or it wears off in time depending on how strong the compulsion is that could take months or years even,” Aiden informs me, a grin beginning to form on his lips that I don’t understand.

“Oh, great. All three of those seem
so
simple to accomplish. I doubt if I ask my father he’ll remove it. Have you met that man? How common is this compulsion trait?” I know deep down that it was my father who did this to me. It had to be. I recall sitting in his home. He could have just shipped me off to Aiden, but instead he called me in for no apparent reason really. Surely he didn’t just want to talk like we had. I’m almost positive that he wanted to see me just to implant the compulsion into my mind.

“Not very common,” Aiden says blankly.

“Great, just great. I’m a zombie. I can’t believe it took me two months to realize it. I’m normally
always
freaking the hell out. I should’ve noticed!” I shout at myself. “How do I find one of these demons that does compulsion? Because I know he’s not about to remove it, and I don’t want him anywhere near me. I don’t trust him. Jesus crunching crap nuggets!”

Aiden stares at me like I’ve just spoken a language he doesn’t understand. “What did you just say?” he asks, squinting and clearly trying not to laugh.