Ham Bones (35 page)

"She never mentioned she was sick. She said she was
going to retire and live the good life on an island paradise. She said-" He turned away. No matter how hard
he tried to deny it, the truth had finally caught him.

"One of the aspects of the disease is that it makes the
person irrational. For some reason, Renata wanted to
punish me, and to some extent, Graf, too. She set it up to
look like I'd killed her. Robert Morgan helped her do this.
I think he must have loved her very much." As I spoke those hard words, I suddenly wondered how much of an
accident Morgan's death might have been. Had he, too,
simply chosen not to live? "I am sorry."

I had no desire to hurt Gabriel more, or to malign Renata. Had I walked in her shoes, no telling what I might
have done. But I wanted him to know the total truth, so
that my name would be cleared completely in his
thoughts. Doubt and bitterness can ruin a person's life,
and I didn't want Gabriel to shoulder that in regard to me.

Graf came and put his arm around me. "How did she
get this disease?"

"No one knows. Like so many other unfair things in
life, it happens to someone out of the blue. Or at least the
medical experts don't know the reason yet."

Gabriel leaned against the fender of the Porsche. He
was pale, and when he rubbed his forehead, his hand was
shaking. "That doctor she was visiting in Los Angeles.
He wasn't doing plastic surgery, was he?"

I shook my head.

"She was sick, and she didn't tell me. She made me
believe she was abandoning me yet again, going off to
her secret place on Tahiti. So I'd hate her. She did that because she knew she was going to die, and she didn't want
me to know."

It may have been the last act of kindness Renata was
able to perform. "She was trying to protect you, Gabriel.
She was your big sister."

"You could have gone to prison for something you didn't
do" He sat up taller. "That's terrible."

"That didn't happen. I'm okay." Now who was lying to
the man?

A cold wind gusted down the street and dead leaves
swirled around us. The storm was getting closer. The
leaden sky promised cold rain and the howling of wind. I desperately wanted to be at Dahlia House. "I have to go.
There are things that must be done, and I have to get
busy."

"What about the screen test?" Graf asked.

"I don't know." I couldn't make that decision right
then. I couldn't.

"I'll check on you later tonight."

I nodded and walked away before I couldn't contain
my tears.

Lightning forked across the dark sky and I stood in the
barn with Reveler and Miss Scrapiron. Sweetie had
caught the scent of a rat in the hayloft and was busy tunneling her way through the sweet-smelling bales I'd
stored.

Reveler arched his neck and leaned across me to gently nibble Miss Scrapiron's mane. He was grooming her, a
gesture of friendship. The animals were unperturbed by
the thunder and lightning that signaled the impending
rain. When it hit, it came with a roar, echoing off the tin
roof of the barn and creating an ear-ringing din. Rain
sluiced from the roof like waterfalls.

The storm was wonderful, fresh and clean. I loved the
smell and the sound, especially when I was safe and dry
and standing between two horses that munched hay in
such a comforting manner.

Sweetie set up a howl, and I hoped the rat escaped.
After my experiences, I had pity for all creatures trapped
by fate.

Reveler lifted his head, ears pricked forward. Something outside the barn had caught his attention. I strained
to see into the darkness, and I caught my breath when a
large form stepped from the shadow into the light.

Coleman threw back his rain slicker and walked toward me.

If I'd had a gun, I might have shot him. Since my only
weapon was words, I chose to hold my ammunition.

"I owe you an explanation," he said. "And a lot more"

I'd waited two weeks for this, but suddenly I didn't
want to hear it. I'd made my decision. I'd stepped down a
path that no longer ran parallel to Coleman Peters. Right
or wrong, I wasn't turning back. I shook my head. "You
owe me nothing, Coleman."

"Connie is-"

I held up a hand to stop him. "Please don't say another
word. I don't want to hear it. I can't. I can't consider the
many factors that go into your behavior. I can't think
about Connie's tumor and your obligation to her. I've
been a fool."

If I'd shot him, the effect couldn't have been more
painful. He took a breath. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure" Oh, I would doubt myself in the future. I
would question this decision, and my truth would shift
and skitter around in my heart. But I hung onto what I'd
come to feel was my truth. Doc was right. Love couldn't
save anyone, least of all me and Coleman.

"Sarah Booth, you're breaking my heart"

One look at his face, and I knew he wasn't lying. Coleman wasn't a man who spoke the words a person wanted
to hear. "I know. I'm sorry." I swallowed anything else I
might have added.

"I only want you to hear one thing. I charged you with
the murder because the district attorney was making
noises about calling in the Mississippi Bureau of Investigation. I charged you to keep the case from being snatched
out of my hands. Had the case gone to them, I wouldn't
have been able to investigate properly. I was afraid you'd end up in jail for weeks while they put together a case
based on emotion and supposition. I had no faith they'd
get to the bottom of it."

"Why didn't you tell me?" One sentence. One brief
phone call could have helped me guard myself from the
hurt that had finally broken my heart.

"It had to look like I meant it. If there'd been one glimmer that we were in collusion of some sort.. ."

"Yet you risked it all at Harold's party"

He took two short breaths. "I saw you up on that stage,
and I knew I'd lost you. You're too fine an actress not to
give it your best shot. You were born to act, Sarah Booth.
The realization that you were gone-I lost my head. I
thought if I could make you understand how much I loved
you, somehow, magically, things would change"

I didn't try to stop the tears. We'd been star-crossed
from the first. Only a fool would have given us a chance,
but it didn't stop the pain. I turned into Reveler's neck
and sobbed. When I looked up again, Coleman was gone.

The phone was ringing when I walked inside. Caller
ID told me it was Tinkie, so I picked up.

"Are you okay?"

Somehow, she knew. Tinkie had that radar that comes
with close friendship and love. "I am"

"I got a call from Graf. He's worried about you"

"I don't want to see him right now."

"I understand. And he does, too. You know, he loves
himself a lot, but I think he has big feelings for you, too"

A smile pulled at my mouth. Tinkie had a way of
putting things. "Feelings aren't always good things, Tinkie"

She hesitated. "I'm meeting Bobbe and her husband the rock star, Kristine, and Gabriel at The Gardens for a
drink. Would you join us?"

"They're all still in town?" I figured they'd all be far
from Zinnia.

"They decided to stay until you were cleared."

I found another reason to tear up. "That's amazing."

"You're amazing, Sarah Booth. Whatever happens,
I'm right beside you. I'll swing by and pick you up, if
you'd like."

The storm had passed. Sweetie was in the kitchen eating broiled chicken tenders. The only thing I really wanted
was a long hot bath and my bed. "Can we meet for breakfast tomorrow with Cece and Millie and all of them?"

"It'll have to be early. Bobbe has a morning flight out
of Memphis and Kristine and Gabriel will head out on
that cross-country drive."

"And Graf?"

"I get the impression he's not leaving Zinnia without
you"

"In the morning then. Bright and early." I loved her
even more because she didn't ask about Coleman. She accepted that I knew what was best for me, even if she
might disagree with my decision. "I love you, Tinkie"

"Right back at you"

I climbed the stairs and went straight to the bathroom
to draw a tub. I was leaning over the old claw-foot bath
when I noticed a second reflection in the water. Jitty
looked like she was going to a ball.

I turned slowly, taking in the beautiful dress and the
elegant way Jitty wore it. She looked as if she'd stepped
out of a picture from the past.

"Another ball?" I asked.

"Hard to give up the habit once it grabs you. Nothing
like a Virginia Reel to set a girl's heart to going pitter pat" She sat down on the toilet, her skirts rustling and
crowding me back against the wall.

"You knew all along that Renata killed herself, didn't
you? That's why you told me the story of great-greatgrandmother Alice and Bethelyn Caldwell." I'd given that
story some thought after Coleman left me in the barn.

"I suspected."

"Couldn't you just have come out and told me?"

"You knew all along, too, Sarah Booth. You knew Renata had grown forgetful and erratic and bitter. Bobbe
told you that her expression had become brittle, that she
didn't show emotion when Kristine threw water on her.
You knew. You just didn't want to believe that someone so
young and vital could be dying."

"Death is no respecter of age. I know that. My mother
was only a few years older than I am now when she died."

"Intellectual truth isn't nearly as real as heart truth"

I got up and went into my bedroom. Lying across my
bed was the beautiful white dress from Le Chic. Beside it
were the sling-back shoes and a beaded white purse. Tinkie had been at work.

There was also a note, and I picked it up and read it.

"Good luck in Hollywood, Sarah Booth. Knock 'em
dead, and then come home to your family. Love, Tinkie,
Cece, and Millie."

Beside the note was an airline ticket, booked for the
day after next into LAX. It was open-ended on return.

I picked up the dress, and the light from the bedside
lamp caught the tiny crystals embedded in the material.

"That's a mighty fine dress to sashay around Tinseltown in."

"Tinkie has exquisite taste" I couldn't look at Jitty. I
hung the dress in the closet and felt the pressure of tears.
"I don't think I can leave."

Jitty's laughter was gentle, like the rustle of leaves in
the sycamore trees on a bright summer day. "You're not
leaving us behind, Sarah Booth. We're all in your heart"

"Jitty, if I go out to Hollywood, and I really need you,
will you come?"

She pondered my question. "This is my home, Sarah
Booth. My bones are out there in the cemetery with the
rest of your family. I don't like to be too far from my
bones."

I caught the glint of the devil in her eyes. She'd never
cared about bones before now. "You'll come. If I really
need you, I know you'll come"

She shimmered, translucent as she began to fade. "Remember, you set out to let go of the past"

"Why is it that life never turns out the way I think it
will? I did set out to let go of the past. I meant to leave behind all the sadness of loss, but all I've done is lose Coleman."

"And found a dream"

"Maybe. Maybe not. Only time will tell, Jitty."

"Give my regards to Halle Berry. I think we look
something alike, don't you?"

Her laughter echoed softly from the walls of my bedroom. I undressed, sank into the bath, and let the warm
water wash over me. There were decisions to make, details to attend to, and dreams to spin.

But for this one night I was going to sleep in the bed of
my childhood in the room where I'd once been safe from
all dangers and bogeymen. For one more night, I'd pretend
that the past was alive, and it was a place where I could
hide. In the morning, I'd deal with whatever I had to.