Hanging on (Jessica Brodie Diaries #2) (11 page)

Tom chuckled. “Especially not in L.A. I imagine. Texans are still brought up right.”

He was dead wrong in some respects, but I didn’t say anything. Unfortunately, my face was about as deceptive as a fat man hiding behind a sapling.

“You don’t agree?” he asked with a smile.

“Sorry, sir. But not in the slightest. Don’t get me wrong—William and his circle of friends are stand up gentlemen. I have never been treated more like a lady than when with them. But...as far as
Texas
goes, or at least Austin...well, let’s just say that William is not the norm.”

“There certainly aren’t as many
ladies
in California, either,” Denise said in a cutting tone.

Instead of wilting, I could feel my spine straighten. I was getting tired of this bullshit. She was getting down-right nasty now. I half wanted to say something to defend myself, but noticed that every member of the party was looking at her negatively. Tom looked cross, Trudy disapproving and Dennis was slightly shaking his head.

William abruptly stood up, his hand bringing me with him gently. He was fuming.

“Would you care to dance, Jess?” he asked through a tight jaw.

“Of course,” I said softly, allowing him to lead me.

When he stopped on the dance floor, he brought me around to stand in front of him, then paused, eyes closed. His nostrils flared with the deep breaths he was taking. When his eyes opened, they were apologetic. “I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s fine.”

He shook his head slightly, about to say something else, but hesitated. He gently hugged me close and picked up the beat, leading me around the dance floor as if we had been born to it. He was a strong leader even for the inexperienced, but with me, I could add flourishes and enrich the dance and make a sensation out of our movements.

He swirled me, he dipped me, and led me through what must've looked like complicated steps. I knew his movements and body so well, and was so fond of looking into his liquid eyes, that I lost myself to the rhythm and our combined efforts. It was a sweet dream. Or a welcomed spell.

That deep place inside me opened up and begged to be noticed. It was like a homely woman baking cookies deep in my chest The warmth and tenderness radiated through me, unfurling like tendrils of smoke until it filled up each corner of my being.

Instead of shrinking from it in fear, this time I let it overwhelm me, relishing in it.

As I slid my hand up his shoulder and lightly caressed the back of his neck, he came out of his musical induced trance and regarded the difference. In another beat he recognized it. A languid smile curled his lips as his face filled with such compassionate devotion it choked me up. His expression seemed to say:
I waited for you. I knew you would come.

It was like I stumbled into a tea party set for two. A tea party he had been waiting patiently at, daring me to find the path myself. Now that I made it, I wondered why it took me so long to get here.

I opened my mouth to tell him how I felt, when he smiled bigger and slowly shook his head.
Later.

He threw me into a spin. A Frank Sinatra song came on. We changed our pace to match it and William started taking me through some intricate dance steps. Not only did I keep up with everything he threw at me, but I was still able to add the detail that men always forgot in their broad strokes. We made a great team and the entire dance floor knew it. Most couples cleared to the sides to allow us more room to maneuver. And maneuver we did. I was smiling like a fool. He was smug.

At the end of the song he dipped me slowly, leaning dangerously close. I wanted him to kiss me intensely. I was lost in his arms, my desperation to stay like this playing on my tear ducts. As he brought me up he stayed within inches of my face and smiled sweetly.

“Down girl,” he whispered. He looked at me a second longer, his soft eyes betraying what his mouth hadn’t.

I felt like I was going crazy. This
wanting
. The needing. The emotions I was feeling were spiraling out of control, but I wasn’t afraid. For the first time, I wasn’t uneasy. And I wasn’t horny, exactly, either. It was something else. Something I didn’t quite understand and couldn’t interpret, but that I wanted to explore all the same. It was uncharted territory, and it excited me.

I was snapped out of my reverie with Denise saying, “He’s my
son
Tom. I have to protect my family.”

“Denise, he isn’t a boy. He isn’t your baby anymore. Let him decide for himself.”

“He’s all I have left!” she said tearfully.

“Denise, you are being selfish. You are going to force him to choose, and judging by what I’ve seen, I am not so sure it will be you. Let the boy live. She is a good girl. Better than you have picked for him. Let him live, honey.”

William asked me if I wanted to sit down, a little more loudly than needed. It occurred to me he was eavesdropping as well. Denise tried to look busy and was quickly bustled away by Trudy.

William sat down stone faced and had a sip of his Champagne. I did likewise. Tom leaned back in his chair and an awkward silence hung over the table. I noticed then that William had his hand on the back of my chair in an open display of territory. This was new.

Dennis, being no idiot, asked me if I wanted to dance. I accepted gratefully, wanting to leave father and son to clear the air.

Dennis was light footed and capable, but the dancing was a little boring after William’s. I wanted to see what Tom had in him. Chances were he was dragged to more dance classes then he would care to admit.

Back at the table everyone was there and things seemed a little calmer. I gave a speculative look at Trudy, and she barely nodded. Relieved I sat down and smiled at everyone. “Dennis knows a thing or two," I said with a smile.

Dennis’s face turned red. Trudy laughed at him and shook her head. “Jessica, you certainly know yer stuff!”

Was that an accent coming out in Trudy?
Hmmm.

“
It’s the partner,” I said demurely.

“Horse pucky.” She waved away my words. “Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did. Only backwards and in high heels!”

Everyone laughed. She continued, looking between William and I, “And you two were better! Pure grace on that dance floor! You looked like an angle, honey.” She winked at me, then looked at William. "And you a prince!"

“Dennis,” William said with a smirk, "take that drink away from Trudy, will ya? She’s starting to talk fairy tales.”

“William,” his mother said formally. Though her eyes were still glassy, she seemed composed. “Will you do your mother the honor of a dance?”

William gave her a hard look before squeezing my thigh and standing. It was about to go down, and everyone knew it. The whole evening would bottom line at the conversation currently headed out to the dance floor.

Oh God!
I got an intense pang of fear over losing him. Having him so close, realizing how important he was, and now the thought of losing him; I had to quickly blink back tears.

“When we Davies men see what we want,” Tom said, leaning across the table toward me, “we grab on and won’t let go regardless of the obstacles.”

I gave a sheepish smile, held back the tears, and hoped he was right. When the chair moved again, it was William sitting down, dance over, face a straight mask. I swallowed back fear, waiting for the verdict.

He looked at his dad, revealing nothing of his emotions. Something passed between the two of them that I couldn’t decipher. Next, he looked at me. He must have seen the worry because it was here that his countenance melted. He slightly grinned in victory and brought his hand to my check to move away the wisps of hair.

I nearly cried. I doubted that Denise was
with
me, but it seemed she wouldn't openly be against me. Until I did something stupid.

I’d take it. For now, if it kept William in my life, I was happy with the outcome. Ecstatic, actually. It was one more hurdle out of the way. Not permanently, maybe, but we were progressing forward. I was so supremely happy I felt like I was floating.

Then, when Tom finally spun me around the dance floor I
was
floating. Pair the lessons with years of experience and apparently a first place trophy in couples swing, and you had someone I fought to keep up with.

Later he chalked this up to:
When we Davies men learn something, we take it to its end!

Chapter Seven

On the way back to the car, William put his arm around my shoulders. He leaned down and kissed me. “The secret’s out. I guess we don’t need to hide anything now.”

“We still need to hide it from work.”

“Ah yes. I forgot about that little snag.”

He handed me into the car, giving me a soft kiss as he did so. As he was making his way around, I thought about how he looked when he was dancing earlier. His skin was glowing from the exertion. His muscles rippled through his snug shirt. He had an exuberant smile and a livelihood in his gait. He was absolutely irresistible. I felt like I was the luckiest woman in the world to be going home with him. Luckier than a princess because I didn’t have a country to run.

As he started the car, he looked over at me quickly to make sure I was ready. When he saw my dreamy expression he did a double take and looked closer. I had every belief that the hunger and desire were showing plainly on my face. I was also aware that I wasn’t doing anything to hide the deeper feeling and was now infusing my whole body. I wanted to open up to him, explore the feeling in body and soul, and see if he felt the same. What’s more, I wanted to do it
right now.

He took me to the ledge that he first professed his feelings for me. I knew deep in my bones that this was the place he had chosen to profess his love as well, he was just waiting for me to be ready to hear it. Ready to say it back.

He got two blankets from the trunk. A thick one to spread out on the harsh dirt and a lighter one that I assumed was to cover us when we were no longer completely clothed. He got out a bottle of wine and two glasses. All of this he set up while I looked out over the horizon, giving him a minute to get everything arranged just so.

“Jessica,” he said as he moved up behind me and slipped his arms around my waist. We heard a car in the background somewhere. It stopped up the hill a ways.

William chuckled. “Someone else must have the same idea.”

He hugged me closely and bowed his head to mine as we looked out over the valley. The stars were large and bright, no city lights to distract their brilliance. Below them, a sea of blackness.

“Do you want to sit down?” he asked.

I nodded and let him lead me to the blanket. He looked at me intently, opening his mouth to speak, but courage failed him and he leaned in to kiss me instead. I kissed him back eagerly, ready for whatever was next. Ready to admit how I felt.

I let my hands roam. I got to the edge of his shirt and slid palms onto bare skin. He let his hands roam and feel me, as well, one staying on my right breast, then moving to my back to hug me closer.

“That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!” It was a gruff voice behind us.

I jumped and gasped. William hugged me fiercely and turned his body to see who it was.

“Oh no,” I whimpered.

Leaned against the car was a ghost from my not-so-distant past. He was scruffy and unkempt. His hair was unwashed and oily. His once good looks were tattered. What’s worse, he held a gun in his left hand that he was currently pointing at us.

“Oh yes, darlin’.” Dusty seethed. “You thought I were locked up fer good, didn’ya? My old man posted bail.” He started to slowly walk toward us. “See, he thought I was innocent. He thought that slut everyone thought was so danged purty played me for a fool. Done got me thrown in jail. Just so happens, I agree wit’him. But you did look ‘amess. Ain’t no one believed you wanted it. That you like it rough. So I reckon they’re gonna throw me in jail jus’ a’soon as there’s a trial.”

He was about ten feet away from us at this point. It was too close for William, who quickly stood up. He dragged me up as well, placing me behind him to shield me.

His body was completely rigid, every muscle taught. He looked like a crouching lion waiting for the right moment to spring.

Dusty stopped where he was, jerking the gun at William. “Whoa there big fella’. You don’t want no trouble, now.”

“What do you want Dusty?” William said in a low, deep growl.

“Well now. I was jus’ gettin’ to it. I was thinkin’, since I’m headin’ to the pen ‘n all, I might just get what’s owed to me. Sum’in sweet as honey.” His eyes sparkled with a creepy light, as if I was a raunchy whore playing hard to get.

“Ain’t gonna happen Dusty,” William seethed.

“Well, now this gun here says it is.” Dusty started to circle, trying to get a peek at me behind William’s large frame.

William circled with him, keeping between the two of us.

“How’d you find us?”

“Weren’t hard. I followed you a-ways. You done took forever in that rich man’s dance club. I knew you’d try to get her alone, though. I saw you puttin’ all them blankets ‘n crap in the trunk. Patience is a virtue, friend. Now, cut the crap and give her here. All I’m gonna do is have a lil’ fun with her, take what’s mine, and I’ll give her back. No harm, like. I’ll even be gentle.”

My hands were shaking as I gripped William’s shirt. This wasn’t happening to me. It wasn’t happening. Not again.

I focused on what Dr. George taught me about relaxation and focusing my thoughts away from the shadow places. Trouble was, I was also supposed to focus on the here and now, and that wouldn’t work.

I switched to Lump’s advice. I cleared my mind and prepared for the worst. What attacks might I use? What might I do? Focus on breathing. Focus on the goal. Accept what comes but look for an out. Strike when you can.

“No fuckin’ way, man. No fuckin’ way. You gotta go through me. That’s the only way this thing’s gonna play.” William used a voice I’d never heard before. It was primal and animalistic. If I was Dusty, I would be thinking twice about this.

Dusty pretended like he was thinking it over. “Well, that’d be a longer sentence for sure. Especially with your daddy’s lawyers. Might just be worth it, though. Only, I won’t be so easy with her that way.”

Dusty shot one bullet in the air. I screamed and stumbled backward. William clutched me tighter, allowing Dusty no vantage point hit me.

“Oooooo weee. She is all dressed up n’ everythin’!” he hollered. “Now, I did see her earlier, but it was from a distance. She is lookin’
good!”

Rough hands grabbed me from behind, ripping me away from William and throwing me into the dirt. I screamed as William whipped around, a fist already on route to his face. William staggered slightly but not off balance. He kicked a foot out, connecting with the guy’s knee.

I was grabbed again as a sickening crack wrenched the air, the guy’s knee bent sideways. A cold gun pressed against my head as the other guy screamed, a kick to his head silencing him. William whirled, a silverback gorilla ready for the oncoming attack for his woman, as I was dragged across the clearing by Dusty,

I flailed, trying to find purchase in heels, but he was too strong. He had a gun to my head and I had no foothold, now unfortunately protecting Dusty from William with my body. The cold steel pushed harder against my head. William and I both froze at the same time.

“You didn’t figure me smart enough to bring a friend, huh? I figured there were enough pussy to go around. This slut loves to spread her legs.” Dusty tightened his grip on my throat and reached his hand down to massage the gun against my breast. The panic welled up inside me. I started to cry silently.

William’s face was pure rage. Primal fury that went beyond thought or reason. Behind that, though, was a crippling vulnerability. The utter helplessness of me in danger, and him not knowing how to save me. He was resolute—he would die to protect me, he just didn’t know how.

Dusty laughed in a foul wheeze. “Does our hero wanna watch? Does he want to watch as I stick my prick into her over and over and over again?” He gyrated as he said it, his hard, disgusting cock rubbing against me.

Dusty stopped, thinking. He put the gun back to my temple. “Now, how’m I gonna get my honey potter wit’ you always in my way?” Dusty asked William, starting to think logically. “I need more time then you’ll give me, partner.” He rubbed the gun against his head in a thinking motion. “I guess I just gotta shoot ya after all.” He laughed again and struck out the gun.

All regard for himself gone, William tensed to make a final grab at me before a bullet hit him. The scene slowed down. Or, more realistically, my thoughts sped up as more adrenaline pumped into my brain.

I would be the reason my Golden God died. That perfect beauty would be snuffed because of me. Then I would just get raped anyway. Probably killed because why not? He had already killed one, why not two? Why leave an alibi? There was no way out for me.

But there was a way I could save William.

“STOP!” I screamed. “I’ll do it! I’ll give you what you want. Just don’t hurt him.”

Why did they never paint the women in the stories as the heroes, when we had to make decisions like this? Charging a bullet never seemed easier.

It was this moment that I realized the great cosmos really did have it in for me. Nice joke fuckers! But guess what? I’m not playing this game. Not this time. I will not get shit on this time.

With that thought my calm bubble emerged. Dr. George had said this bubble was my crisis center. It directed me when the normal functioning center of my brain was locked in panic. He explained it more technically, but it was here, in this moment, for survival.

“William, just get in the car and drive away. Come back for me in an hour. I assume an hour will be long enough?” I said snidely to Dusty.

“More’n enough time to get both holes.”

A shiver crawled up my spine. As soon as William left I would do everything in my power to kill this bastard, probably getting shot in the process. If I failed, then he could rape me after my light shut off, but I would go down fighting. Fuck him. I would not be a victim if I could help it. I also didn’t know if I had the courage to pick up my life if I lived. I didn’t know if I was that strong.

William looked at me with desperation. I could see every fiber of his being aching to help me. His look said he was bleeding on the inside from the thought of that animal touching me.

“Just go, William. It’ll be better that way. You don’t need to see it. Just go, my Apollo.” A tear leaked out of my eye as I looked on him for the last time. His perfect body. His poise and manly elegance. His radiant blue eyes, clouded now in misery.

He shook his head as a matching tear leaked from his eye. “No Jessica. I won’t leave you.”

“William there is no other way. Just go.” Resignation in my voice. Drinking in the sight of him.

William’s eyes dawned understanding at my suicide mission. Something broke in him. Something deep and hidden from the world. Something he didn’t know was there. I could see it happening. It was what broke in me the first time Dusty did this to me. It was what made this decision so practical this time around. Insanity was a strange weapon. A strange, uncontrollable weapon.

“Will,” Dusty said in boredom. “It’s gonna happen. Whether you want it ‘er not. Whether yer dead or not. I’m gonna get my dick inside this honey potter.”

I straightened up at that. William coiled again. He was looking at Dusty with a rage more ferocious than I have ever seen in any eye in the whole of my life. He took a step towards us. He looked down at me, emotion gone. I could see cold calculating in his eyes. It looked like he found his own personal bubble.

“Dusty, it ain’t gonna go down like this.” His voice was Texan ice. He took another step toward us.

Dusty took a step back and dragged me by the throat. The gun was firmly on my head, digging into my skin. I didn’t utter a sound. I didn’t want to distract William, who had now turned into Zeus.