Hanging on (Jessica Brodie Diaries #2) (20 page)

“
What?!
”

“She is worried that you think she’ll seduce me or something. She also says you have a complex about her being better looking than you.”

Wow, that about summed it up.

He took my silence to mean I agreed. A pained look came to his eyes. “Jessica.” He slowly shook his head. “Why would you think that of me?”

“I just. She...” Tears came to my eyes. I shook my head. “She
is
prettier, William. And capable and adaptable and one time a guy walked into the bar to meet me, then pretended he wasn’t there for me and hit on Lump. We were in separate areas when he walked in; he didn’t know she was with me. But still he left me for her. I just… It’s hard to think you’ll choose me when she’s in the room, you know?”

I knew it was a stupid thing to say as it came out. I knew they were dumb fears. I just couldn’t help it. It really mattered this time. I had a lot to lose. I couldn’t just laugh this one off if it happened.

He just looked at me. The shots arrived. He saluted me and we took the shot together. He continued to look at me. My tears overflowed. Still he looked.

“You are the stupidest smart person I know,” he started. “You think the only thing men want is a pretty pussy, do you?”

I recoiled by his language. It was gross and harsh and not at all like him.

“You think your friend is prettier than you. You dated some pretty-boy disasters, poorly raised, no clue how to handle themselves or treat a woman, and they chase after the closest skirt moving. One of those girls was the girl you think is prettier. And that, what? Is going to set you up with men for life?”

“She always got the guys,” I answered lamely.

“Is that why she’s single?”

I just looked at him.
Good point. Currently working on rebuttal.

“Getting a guy is easy. Keeping a guy, or a guy keeping a girl, is hard. Like now, for example. If it was 1960 I would probably back-hand you. I wouldn’t know that was wrong, and I would feel better that I hurt you back. Because I feel pretty shitty right now. Your lack of trust is something...” He shook his head and looked away.

After a pause he said, “After all we’ve been through. After all we’ve shared. After everything, why am I still trying to convince you that I am for real? All for you? Only you. Only
you
. Does the word ‘love’ mean so little to you?”

Oh man
. If he had a razor blade against my heart it wouldn’t hurt as much.

“I’m sorry. It isn’t that I accused you, William. Because I do trust you. It’s just...” I took a raged breath. “It’s just that I’m insecure and didn’t realize it was this deep until it mattered, okay? I trust you. I trust her. I just… am stupid and insecure.” I trailed off and looked away.

He nodded and drank his beer. “You’re right. You are right.” He glanced past me to Adam. “When you kissed Adam earlier I wanted to rush over here and beat his head in.”

“
Adam
? It was just a friendly kiss on the cheek. I wanted to clear the air between us.”

“Logic says, ‘I know.’ Jealousy says, ‘Kill!’” He smiled then sobered up. “Look. Number one, pretty has nothing to do with anything. Just so happens I think you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. It was that which made me go into Piggly Wiggly for the second time just to see you. Something about you just makes me go nuts. Number two, I love you. I have never really loved anyone before. I thought I did, but now I know that was false. Love to me is sacred. Trust is essential. If you don’t trust me, I want you to walk away from this right now.” He meant it.

Which meant I was the douche.

I got thick, as Claire would say. “You know, I am sick of this: ‘I love you, you’re beautiful, you are the one for me, bla bla’ all the time. Can’t you just for once stop making me feel like an ass? Treat me badly so I know you have flaws like everyone else? All this goody-goody makes me nervous!”

He laughed loudly and put me in a head lock. “Either I treat you like you are priceless, or I beat the shit out of you. Your choice!” He laughed again.

“Well, when you guilt trip better than a Jewish mama, I might choose the beating!”

“Alright. I made my point. Trust me. I’ll trust you. And do you mind that I called you my girlfriend?”

“Oh ho ho! Trying to sneak that in. Make me feel bad, then throw in that little nugget!”

He laughed shamelessly and shrugged. “Davies men get what they want.”

“Oh really? I shall remember to deny you next time you want something.”

“You can try.”

I hugged him, liking the warmth of his body. Liking him near me. Hating that trusting another human being could sometimes be so damn hard. Especially when you’d been burned a few times before.

He kissed me and put his mouth to my ear, “We’ve made it past my mother. My issue. We’ve made it past your friend. Your issue. We made it past a lunatic rapist/murderer. Our issue. What’s next?”

I whispered back, “Gladis’s party.”

We both grimaced and headed back.

Chapter Eleven

The night progressed nicely, if not over drunkenly. The party atmosphere the girls created by being in a new place, a VIP section, and all around just wanting to have fun, spread throughout the whole party. I had been worried that my crew would be the only drunken messes. Turned out we blended in. I always said open bars were dangerous!

We’d decided to burn off a little alcohol and hit the dance floor for the second time. Usually we were dance floor residents in most places, but those danged stairs were just so much work. And the free bar was so far away when we were down there.

William followed us down to dance, Adam and Brad right behind. I had a feeling the boys didn’t want to see heads rolling down the steep incline. Well, except for Brad, who seemed sweet on our little Jane. I caught her running her fingertips up his arm as she leaned in to talk. I bet she was trying to glance her cleavage off him and wasn’t close enough. She was pulling out all the tricks in quick succession, and he was falling for it just as quickly. Horniness on both parts probably explained it. Regardless, he would probably follow her around the club for the rest of the night.

We got to the top of the stairs and the boys stepped up.

“Going down?” William asked, holding out his arm.

“Me, too, Willie,” Lump said, grabbing onto his other arm. She hadn’t picked a man yet, her choice being taken. She was as picky as all hell. Too picky.

When Adam stepped up, he didn’t have to open his mouth before Flem and Claire took their sides, Claire leaning a little more heavily then she needed to. Jane got Brad all to herself. She also leaned heavily. Shameless!

When we got to the dance floor the girls let go of their support systems, except Jane, and headed to the center. We saw a couple more people from our party, including Moose and his girlfriend. William and I danced with them for a second, then William got closer and I lost sight of everyone else.

“So, Mexico, huh?” he said close to my ear.

“Uh…yeah. Not my finest moment. So I’ve been told.”

“You don’t remember any of it?”

“Not past the third shot of tequila. I meant to tell you—watch me closely when I get drunk. I sometimes need a babysitter.”

“I have permission to overprotect, now, huh?”

“Just from myself, yeah. When drunk.”

“Hmmm.”

He slid his leg between mine. I felt his lips against my ear lobe and his hands slip down to my butt, pulling me into him.

“You do look beautiful. Did I tell you?”

“Nope. Thanks. You’re okay, I guess. You know, if being hot is your thing.”

He chuckled and nibbled down my neck.

“Your friends are fun. I see now why Candace wasn’t enough.”

“Yeah, they bring more than their boyfriends to a party. Speaking of which, where is she?”

William smirked into my neck. “Waiting until her boyfriend is available to come to the party.”

“See?”

“You’d come without me?”

“And have, yeah. I’ve had practice, since the guys before you never got me there.”

It took him a moment to realize I was no longer talking about a party. He chuckled, hunger lighting up his eyes.

“Mind in the gutter. Anyway, what do your friends think of me? Good or bad?” William leaned back so he could read my face.

“Horrible. Pretty boy suck-up with a mommy complex.”

“Not going to get a straight answer out of you am I?”

“No, sir. Too turned on for seriousness.”

“Hmmm.”

He pulled me into him a little harder, increasing the friction of our groins, moving his hips and his body perfectly to both mine and the music. We weren't concerned about spectators so we let our dancing get more familiar, him touching me, me running my hands over him. We were showing off for each other as well as dancing.

It wasn't until I was pushed aside by Flem that I remembered my surroundings. She danced up close to me with William at her back, then turned to face him and did the same. Then she turned herself in a circle, grabbed my hand, and led me to where the other girls were, where we all danced together without a care in the world. Guys encircled us with a perimeter. Moose's girlfriend and her friends were pushed in with us, and we made them at home. Soon more girls pushed into the fray.

We were surrounded by our whole party, then some, when I stopped. I was a sweaty, nasty mess. I needed air, which in this place, simply meant I needed to leave the dance floor.

I tapped Lump and Jane and nodded upwards. They passed it on, sweaty faces, one and all. I saw William, who was a world away on the opposite side of the dance floor, exiting out his side with Adam in tow. Meeting point: stairs.

As I pushed past the row of sweaty man-bodies, I felt a hand cup my ass and squeeze. I jumped at the same time I heard Jane squeak and saw that someone was grabbing at her breast. Instinct was to freak out, scream and possibly cry, all the while covering myself and waiting for help. But this was a club, and these boys were young morons. This sort of behavior happened, unfortunately, and the best way to handle it was to stay calm, and let Lump take care of it. If Lump wasn’t there, create a huge ruckus to attract the bouncers. Otherwise, kick some ass and get the hell out of there.

I yelled for Lump and pushed at the red faced dumb-ass in front of me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jane throw an elbow. The guy that grabbed my butt was now trying to push against me, his hands working their way up my legs. I couldn't get myself turned around to shove him off, and fought with a different guy that was trying to dance with me from my front, so I loudly asked Lump what the status was. I was not intending for the yuck-up behind me to get a proper feel up my dress. My foot would connect with a room full of balls before that happened.

I saw William struggling to get in, and realized he would not think this was standard practice. Especially with my history. If I didn't want to have to kick someone in the balls, I really didn't want to have to bail him out of prison for kicking someone in the head.

I gave the guy in front of me a good shove, no longer waiting for Lump-the-Hero. I helped Jane push hers off, then we tried to confront the idiot wanting to cop a feel. Lump was with us a second later, a guy rolling around on the ground in her wake. The guy behind me was ripped away, a loud grunt sounding before he hit the deck. Lump wiped her hands on her dress. Apparently the offending moron had been sweaty. Gross.

The great thing about a girl kicking the shit out of some trashy guy was that everyone applauded and no one got in trouble. Especially when that someone was as efficient at it as Lump was.

We pushed through the rest of the crowd, running smack into the wall of William, Adam and Moose. Lump pushed Jane and I away and starting pushing and turning the boys. One minute Adam was charging past her, the next he was walking the other direction, his eyes scrunched up in confusion, with no idea how he got there.

I grabbed William, pleading that I was alright. It wasn’t the time for a flashback.

Moose was held back by his girlfriend and Jane working together. Adam was blinking down at Lump, who was still trying to get him to walk away.

William’s face cleared a little, seeing I was okay. He allowed me to turn him, his anger kept in check by strength of will and reason. Also by Moose clapping him on the back and saying next time they’d be quicker.

Whatever worked.

Adam and Lump didn’t move. They were having a stare down. I could see Adam was really pissed off that a girl man-handled him.

She was glaring back, mad that he was so dense and wouldn't just do as instructed. It was unusual for a man to stand up to her, as odd as that sounded. She was usually so laid back that when she did assert her stead-fast, bull-headed, do-as-you-are-told side, guys and gals alike, old or young, it didn’t matter, usually reacted exactly as she meant them to. Her friends included. It took a lot to rile her, but when she was, she usually had infallible logic. Ass backwards, sometimes, so I thought, but she’d gotten me out of plenty of sticky situations so I didn’t question.

Adam looked over her shoulder and saw that the dude was looking around him for whoever attacked him. That would have been Lump’s guy. He looked straight at Adam, who reacted by quickly moving Lump out of the line of fire. Wrong move. Icould see the anger creeping up from her toes, tensing every muscle as it passed to her eyes, which shot venom.

This was starting to be a good show.

"This is the wrong time to have a battle of the wills." William said, reading my mind but coming up with a different conclusion.

I could hear Moose chuckling. “About time a girl finally called him out.”

“Yeah, but he's gonna end up outside fighting,” William responded.

“Hell, that’d be fun, too. I’m sure there'll be enough to go around!”

Boys!

Lump was now pulling Adam's hand to try and get him to leave the dance floor. She was a strong woman with a lot of training, and she was using her leverage to get him off balance. Adam was an even stronger man, though, used to bulls and horses and God knew what. He wouldn't budge.