Hanging on (Jessica Brodie Diaries #2) (16 page)

It’s sad when you can admit it, but not find a way to change it. It was like PMS; awful and enviable but no way to steer clear.

“I know, babe, but maybe the guys are tired of me hanging around.”

“They love you, Jess. They all do. I haven’t heard a bad word.”

“William, come
on
, be honest with yourself. They’re not going to tell
you
they hate me. They’ll say they love me to your face then talk shit amongst themselves. Maybe you should go solo. I need alone time.”

“Sweetie,” William came over and sat with me on the bed, “the last thing you need is alone time. Come on. We’ll go out, have a drink or two, hang out with friends, and have a good time. You’ll have fun. Promise.”

I moaned because when he was logical, there was no point in arguing.

I did go out. I did have a decent time, but when Candace wouldn’t stop going on about how cute my boots were, I had to get out of there. She didn’t comment once on the scuff marks.

“William, I’m going to head out.” I had pushed past Ty, possibly elbowed Moose, and interrupted Adam to relay this message.

“Why so soon Jessie-girl?” Adam asked as he leaned against the bar.

“Just… I need to go. I miss Fred.”

William looked at me with understanding. “Okay, can you wait until I finish my beer?”

I almost told him he didn’t understand a damn thing. He had his friends handy all the time. He had no idea why I was acting so crazy. He should be mad, for Gods sakes! Normal people were angry at sporadic, unexplained behavior!

Instead I said, “You can stay. I’ll go on my own. It’s fine.”

William and Adam passed a knowing look. Being that men thought they were incredibly sneaky and clever, they thought that look would go unnoticed.

They were wrong.

“You guys have no idea why I am a tard, okay? I just am. And I don’t want company. I want to go home. To my dog. Well, William’s dog. On my own. No penises allowed. Okay?”

“Obviously I am going with you, Jessica. Be reasonable,” William said, taking a chug of his beer.

“You and your reasonable,” I muttered.

Then I tried to do as he said. Elbowing depression out of the way, I said, “This isn’t one of those times when I am saying I want to do one thing, but really setting a trap. I actually,
seriously
am totally okay with you staying and hanging out with your friends.
Genuinely.”

“That was a lotta Californian.” Adam laughed, leaning harder against the bar.

He’d just kicked the broom stick. “You want to stay, William,” I said tersely, “And you should. These are your friends.
Stay.
Drink. Flirt. Whatever. I don’t care. I just want to go.”

“I’d like to think I’m yer friend, too, Jess,” Adam said. Now he was poking the bear. When I looked at him with crazy eyes, he smiled.

“Let’s go,” William said before I could retaliate, empty bottle on the bar. “We’ll meet up with everyone next week.”

I sighed. Loudly.

Next week at the same, or a similar, bar, with the same, or similar, people. All men and Candace. And I loved Candace. I really did. But she was all for Ty. She barely left his side all night, and when she did, it was to use the restroom. She was super great, but not enough. And I didn’t know where to find girls that could replace what I lost. If that were possible.

Next Friday rolled around. Same work week, which I liked. Same time with William, which I liked. Same prospect of happy hour with Williams friends…which I was putting off for as long as possible.

Gladis’s party was approaching rapidly. It would take place on Sunday.
This
Sunday!
Eck!
I had taken the two days following off work at William’s begging. He said he had a surprise for me. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I decided, in a need for something different, to have some new threads just in case.

I was out shopping, trying to make a decision on a blue dress versus a red dress, with no one to tell me if I looked good or crappy, when I got a text from Gladis telling me to get home immediately.

She didn’t know how to text herself, but often had Lady do it to communicate quickly. Scratch that—to communicate with
me
quickly. She didn’t understand why I didn’t answer the phone. I tried to explain that answering the phone in public was dicey because so often it was rude, but she still didn’t get it. It was a phone. Answer it.

Her tune changed when she had Lady text and got a response within ten minutes.

I congratulated her on learning how to be young again. She threw a pillow at me.

As I walked into my cottage, I had a moment of confusion. It was sparkling. I was tidy, but this was insane. Gladis had finally stopped asking if the cleaning lady could come through and just made it happen.

I couldn’t say it wasn’t welcomed—the place looked freaking great! If I didn’t hate sweeping and moping so much, I would make more of an effort.

As I crossed the extensive yard a few minutes later, with Fred sprinting off to the right, William called.

“Hey babe,” I said instead of hello.

“Jess?”

“Yeah?” Who did he expect to answer my phone?

“Oh great, glad I caught you. Some of the guys are headed to Froggy’s tonight. They got a big booth. Do you want to go?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to do a boys’ thing?”

“Nah, not tonight. Unless you guys don’t feel like going...”

“Who? Adam and I?”

William had two women in his life. Me and Adam. We both gave out, but my version was called sex, and Adam’s was called whining.

Adam hated that joke.

William paused. “...Candace. Didn’t you say you were going out with Candace tonight?”

“Oh, no. I originally was, but she cancelled.”

“Too bad. Well, I’ll talk to you in a while. I’ll meet you there.”

“Where? Froggy’s?” I stopped walking. We never met places. We always went together. Plus, he was sounding distant and distracted.

“Yeah. I gotta take care of some stuff. Can you just meet me there? Grab a cab. I’ll pay. Just get there after nine.”

“What’s going on?” It wasn’t my birthday, so a surprise party didn’t seem applicable.

“What? Nothing, why? I am doing some work. Can I just meet you there? I think I might dress up.”

WTF?
Dude was jumping all over the place with this conversation.

“Alright...Um, great. Talk to you later.” I clipped my words a little to show him I was irritated. Usually that got him to slow down and talk sense.

“See ya.”

Click
.

I stared at my phone. Until stupid Fred barreled into me.

“Fred!” I shouted before letting him through the Big House’s back door. Shaking my head, I followed, still wondering about William’s odd behavior.

If I was a jealous woman I might think he was cheating.

Good thing I wasn’t jealous...

As I walked through the house, I heard commotion in the lounge. I’d forgotten to hurry.

As I turned the corner and into the lounge, I stumbled.

“OH MY GOD!” I yelled.

Everyone looked up at once. All faces beamed at me, then shot past me to Fred, who huddled in close, half wagging his stump, half looking scary.

“
Holy fuck! What’s up with the beast?” Flem asked.

My friends were
here!
In Texas! With
me!

I laughed and ran in to hug her. Fred bounded up with me, apparently deciding that these were friendly people. He had gotten a lot more used to strangers by being away from the ranch. Also because I was a sink or swim kind of gal. People just came in, and he learned that if he didn’t be nice, he’d get scolded. Dog learned fast.

“How did this happen?” I asked joyously.

“Gladis got a hold of Jane, who got a hold of everyone else. She arranged the whole thing. Said somethin’ about you bein’ desperate for friends.” Flem said with flare.

“Careful, Flem, your accent is slipping back,” Jane said smiling. “Or is Arkansas a different planet and not recognized by the South?”

Flem shot her a nasty look.

“Gladis, thank you! Thank you everyone for coming!” I gushed. I still couldn’t quite believe it.

“It was Little Willie’s idea,” Gladis said, arranging her scarf just so. “He wanted to fly everyone out, but as you are
my
ward, I insisted on that privilege. Then, when he was having trouble hearing the word ‘no,’ I just went and did it. He hasn’t met his match in the clever department!”

“William?” I asked, suddenly understanding the conversation a second ago.

“Ye are dating a man called Little Willie?” Claire said. “American’s use ‘willie’ for mickey, right?”

“Mickey?” Gladis asked, confused.

“Penis," I clarified for Gladis. "Yes, Gladis calls him Little Willie. I call him William, consequently.”

The girls bust up laughing, Gladis included.

Lady came in with a tray of drinks. Everyone’s seconds.

“So, seriously,” Lump started, “what’s up with the dog? And why’d you get such an expensive one?”

“He’s William’s. I had another run in with Dusty and now Fred is my protection.”

Smiles evaporated.

The next hour was a question and answer situation around dinner and drinks. I didn’t cry once, but Fred, who could sense my moods these days, came and sat beside me. Strange, the comfort a dog could give. And welcomed. I was thankful for it. Plus, anything with sharp teeth on my side was good news.

After everyone was satisfied that I was okay, the question and answer session switched to William, and then quickly went to his friends. Everyone was single and open to possibilities. Being that among William’s friends there was more than one possibility, all in pretty packages, I decided it would be fun to talk everyone down, throw a flaw or three in there, and then laugh my ass off when they met the real thing.

The only hitch in that plan was Gladis, who at first thought I was being stuck up. It took me to downplay William’s looks for her to finally catch on—she knew I thought William was a freaking God. I didn’t hide that fact to anyone living in Texas. So after she got with the program, she helped me out by saying Adam was handsome in his own way, though a mite slim—that meant scrawny—and William was a nice boy; I shouldn’t be so choosy!

The girls bought it, and immediately shrugged off the whole matter in indifference. They were here for me, after all. They could look for guys anytime.

Half buzzed and stuffed full, the girls and I fell into the cottage and headed to my closet. It was only 7:00pm so we had an hour and a half or more to get ready, but with a bunch of laughing, chattering idiots hell-bent on rummaging through all my hand-me-down’s from Gladis’s friends, it'd take a while. I'd gotten truckloads of handbags, jewels, scarfs, you name it after a few luncheons as a favor to Gladis, and suddenly everyone wanted to play dress up. I was gaining a toehold in society, sure, but when I was literally chased out of the door by a butler with a Gucci, things were out of control.

“How’s Ami?” I asked as I changed over to a smaller wallet.

“She’s doing great. She is actually coming in tomorrow morning. She’s engaged of all things!” Jane informed me. “She can only stay until Monday morning, though. She had to get back.”

“Engaged, wow! To the guy her mother hated?”

“Very same.”

“Incoming,” Lump shouted, tossing my phone at me.

“Lump—!” Wallet and cards up in the air, I juggled my phone between hands, trying to keep it from falling.

“I thought you could catch.” Lump laughed.

“Cabs are here!” I shouted, texting Gladis back with a “Thanks” and a smiley face.

As I pushed the chattering girls out the door, I took a moment to watch them walk down the path. They were digging in their bras to fix their breasts, or hiding money, or straightening their skirts. More than one wobbled on their heels. Swear words and laughter rolled out ahead of them.

I had missed this. Missed them.

There were a few things I dearly missed from LA, but all were manageable except for my girlfriends. You could make friends anywhere, but it was hard to find a group of girls that
got
me like these girls did. You could have it all, but without your girls to share it with, things were just kind of flat.

We got to Froggy’s fashionably late in a cloud of perfume and fabulousness. William had text me to say he was in the VIP area, and we’d be on the list. As soon as I heard his name tacked on to this surprise, I knew he’d do it up big. When it came to spoiling me, William never did things in halves. I was one lucky broad!

“
Eche
, the line sucks,” Lump said, fixing her shoe. “Can we try to flash our boobs to get in faster or something?”

Without even looking over, I sauntered up to the very front, all hip and cleavage. I was sure the girls were following suit. They knew the drill.

“Jessica Brodie,” I announced to the stern faced bouncer with massive arms.

His eyes scanned me, resting on my breasts for a second, before flicking back to those around me. His eyes started to shine.

He quickly scanned his page and made an “X” next to my name.

It was good to be “On the List.”

“
Savage!”
Claire said as we made our way around the barrier of muscle and into the bar.

“Shots!” Lump yelled, grabbing me by the wrist and yanking toward the bar.

“Shouldn’t we have a beer first?” I asked timidly.

She looked at me askew.
Shit!
We were going to get loaded tonight. I would be lucky to remember half of the reunion.

I had to remember to tell William to watch me like a hawk to keep me from getting in trouble.

That was another sobering thought. He’d never seen me over-the-top, wildly drunk. Mr. Hyde would take out a notepad and pen when I lost control. I hoped to God William still loved me after tonight.