HAPPILY EVER BEFORE (23 page)

Henry’s phone rang. “Boy or girl?” was the first thing he said. “Oh, oh, but, everyone’s okay? Sure, I’ll have Sal drop me off on his way to Diane’s, meet you at home.” He hung up then did his best to keep a straight face.
“False alarm.”

“Her water didn’t break?” George was confused.

“No.” Henry, Sr. struggled not to laugh.

“But how could she think her water broke if it hadn’t?” Because she had visions of cookies and decimal points floating in her head, George was behind the curve on this one.

Sal burst out laughing.
“Oh, the poor thing!”

Jack walked up. “No one at the tasting was what I would consider poor.”

“Grace.
False alarm.”

Jack ginned. “I know she called me. She’s been having a tough couple of weeks.”

“Jack? Jack
Faccinelli
?” A leggy, brunette walking past with a group of friends stopped to chat. “Jennifer Weston.”

Jack immediately tensed when he saw her. Henry, Sr. and Sal were intrigued and George still stuck in her confused state didn’t notice her. “Jennifer, how are you?” He walked a little bit away from the group.

“Well, to be perfectly honest I’m disappointed you didn’t call me.” She leaned in and put her hand on his arm as her friends walked discreetly away.

“I told you,” he stressed as he pulled his arm away, “that I wasn’t going to call you. I was doing a favor for a friend. That’s it.”

“But we hit it off.” She stepped closer to him.

Jack had no idea how to handle this. He stepped back “I’m sorry if I led you on, but I’m not interested.”

“You kissed me. What guy kisses a girl if he’s not interested?” Jennifer stepped closer.

Jack could feel the sweat beading on the back of his neck. He had kissed her-- once. Rich had begged him to do this bait and switch and then got stuck on an attempted robbery. He called Jack and asked him to take her to dinner. The next thing, he knew he was on a date. The whole night all he could think about was Grace and how she admitted she might still be in love with Ray. Rich showed up just as Jack was getting her a cab and Jennifer had chosen that moment to pull him into a kiss--a pretty great kiss that most men would have taken advantage of, but not Jack. He had visions of Grace dancing in his head. That’s when he knew he was in it for the long haul and that if it came down to it he had no choice, but to let Grace break his heart. “I was trying to figure out a relationship.”

Jennifer had nothing to lose but her pride. “That’s not what that kiss said.”

“That kiss was a mistake,” a defensive Jack replied. God, he thought Henry and Sal must think he’s an idiot, an idiot whose ass they’re so
gonna
kick.

Jennifer couldn’t tell if he was bluffing or not. A lot of men
lay
claim to the phantom girlfriend just to be nice.
“Really?
Well, who’s the lucky girl?”

Jack sighed, “If you must know, her name is Grace”

“She peed herself?” George yelped. “Grace actually peed herself?”

Jennifer was taken aback. “You’re dating a woman who pees herself?”

George had finally stepped out of her fog, noticed Jennifer, and immediately went into fight mode. “She’s eight months pregnant. She thought her water broke. Hit the road! There’s still time for you to drink yourself silly and go home with a total stranger.” Jennifer, smart, like most brunettes, took the hint, turned on her heels and left. George turned to Jack. “Grace said you were still doing the bait and switch and I didn’t believe her.”

“No, no, no, that woman was from ages ago.” Jack found himself panicking. “How does she know?”

Henry and Sal not wanting to miss a word, stepped closer. George sighed, “Rich told her. Well, he didn’t tell her, per se, as he alluded to it.”

“I stopped as soon as Grace and I had our first date, but then…”

Henry, Sr. sighed. “Jennifer makes quite a stop sign.” Sal laughed and elbowed him.

“No, it’s not like that. Rich begged me as a favor. It was a long time ago.” Jack felt himself sweating. “I swear one time--never did it again.”

“How long ago?”
George sniffed. She wasn’t about to let him off the hook.

“I don’t know two, three months…”

A relieved George sighed. “Oh, well then you’re even. That’s around the time Grace made out with Ray.” And as soon as she said it she knew she had done a very bad thing.

“WHAT?” Jack immediately balled his right hand into a fist.

Sal and Henry exchanged looks. “This is getting good,” said Sal.

George had to think fast. “Don’t get your panties in a twist. You kissed little miss
slutty
pants didn’t you?”

Jack knew she was right, but he was still pissed off.
“But Ray?
Ray? I thought that was over and done?”

George looked to Henry and Sal, but they were no help. “Hey, you guys didn’t know where your relationship was heading or even how you felt about each other. She needed to figure out the Ray thing, they went to dinner to talk, they kissed, end of story.”

“You said they made out.” Jack stared her down.

“Okay, they made out. Grace left the restaurant when she realized how much she cared about you. Ray followed her, they fought, ended up kissing, which got a little heated, but Grace stopped. She wasn’t about to jeopardize what you had.” Jack calmed down a bit. “What was the deal with miss
slutty
pants?”

Jack felt like a fool. “I don’t know. I was falling for Grace too fast and I couldn’t control it. Then the whole--I might still love Ray thing happened.  I was confused and…it was one kiss, I regretted it immediately.” Jack turned to Henry and Sal.
“I swear, I love her!”

Henry, Sr. patted him on the back. “No use crying over spilt milk.”

“I have to talk about it with her, right? So we can move past it?”

Sal snapped, “
bad
idea. George is right--call it even.”

“Don’t be an asshole!” Henry, Sr. said. “Admitting to an innocent indiscretion three months later won’t do anyone any good.” 

“But…” Jack wanted to tell her, and well, he so didn’t want to tell her.

“You know, she knows, there’s no reason for you both to know, you know,” Sal growled.

George leveled Jack with a look.
“Don’t ask, don’t tell.
We never had this conversation.” She looked at Sal and Henry, Sr., “and that means you, too--loose lips, sink ships!” They agreed. “Great! Now, if you hurt her in any way, I think I can speak for all of us--we will bring down such a world of hurt you’ll never recover from it, okay? Okay. Now, let’s get pizza. I’m sure miss peed her pants could use some cheering up.”

Jack wasn’t sure about the whole don’t ask, don’t tell thing, but he had to admit he was relieved that the whole Ray thing had happened long before Grace had told him she loved him because that meant that now they were on solid ground.

And, so, as the Higgins Sisters moved from take the plunge of their eighth month, they were about to discover that solid ground tended to get a bit squishy.  And that
peeing
your pants aside, somehow you’d inexplicably end up back to the now what phase in your ninth month. Who knew?

Clair sat on the bed with her sister while Diane went through her closet. “I can’t believe you wore that.”

Diane shook her head. “It was the seventies. There are a lot of things no one believes about the seventies.”

Clair pulled up Grace’s shirt and kissed her tummy. Grace didn’t flinch. She was used to the patting, the reading, the singing, and all the other stuff one does to a pregnant belly with the hopes of leaving a lasting impression on her child. They had no real boundaries any more. It was getting harder to tell where Grace started and Clair ended. “We need more pictures,” Clair said, as she ran to get her camera.

Grace rolled her eyes. “Seriously, more pictures? This is a big step--shacking up with Sal. You ready?”

Diane finished boxing up the clothes she was donating to Goodwill. “I think so. The house goes on the market this weekend. You’re okay with it, right?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be? Sal’s a great guy.” Grace stared off into space as Clair came back with her camera. “We’re lucky Popsicle didn’t bite it in the house.”

“Grace!” Clair admonished.

“I’m just saying if dad had died in the house it would make it harder to sell.”

Clair’s eyes wandered to the window. She gasped, “Snow!” They turned to look. A slight sadness permeated the room.

“It’s really coming down.” Diane turned to Grace who was fiddling with her husband’s old Burberry hat. She felt a bit melancholy when she saw it. There were things of her husband’s she could never bring herself to get rid of and now she had to revisit them again. “You should spend the night.”

Clair ran out of the room. “I’m ordering the pizza, now!”

Diane sat next to her daughter. “Speaking of ready, are you ready?”

“I can’t wait to get this kid out of me!” Grace joshed. “We’ve done the Lamaze thing, watched all the scary birthing DVDs, and now, I’ve just
gotta
pop it out!” Grace leaned against her mother. “I kind of wish we were doing a C-section like in the good old days. Knock me out, wake up in full hair and make-up with a kid and a martini. That way, there are no memories of the actual birth. I knew it was going to be hard, but, it’s just, I’m not going to keep the kid and I’m…”

“Scared?” Diane and Grace turned to Clair who had the phone in one hand and the take out menu in the other.
“Me, too.”
Clair climbed on the bed and snuggled next to her mom. “I can change a mean diaper, but there’s all that other shit.”

Diane kissed Clair on the cheek and squeezed Grace’s hand. “It’s not going to be easy, but you’re going to be fine. I promise. We’ll be okay, we’ve always been okay.” Diane watched the snow as it started to come down harder. “We better order that pizza”

Grace grabbed the menu. “No mushrooms or green peppers, gives me gas.”

“What doesn’t give you gas?” Clair grinned.

The full moon illuminated the night sky and the fresh fallen snow shimmered in its glow. Grace then padded down the hall to the kitchen; she was hungry again. As she peered in the fridge, she caught a glimpse of the calendar that hung on the counter. It was Sunday, December second. Grace stopped. December second. The day their father died. Grace leaned back against the counter. From where she was standing, she could see her dad’s hat, his old navy pea coat, and the red striped scarf Clair made him sitting on top of the box of stuff for Goodwill. Before long Grace bundled up,
shovel
in hand, and stood in the front of her parents’ house. She let the cold air invigorate her, then stretched her arms, and began shoveling. The measured scrape-scrape-scrape of the metal shovel against the cold cement woke Clair who sleepily looked out the window. Her movement allowed the cool morning air to sneak under the blankets and wake her mother who followed her to the window. They were both staring at Grace as she pushed the shovel down the front path. “What the hell?” Clair whispered, as Diane got dressed.

Soon, all three were shoveling snow. Grace glanced at the front bench where the box of her father’s clothes sat. Clair followed her gaze then crouched on her haunches, made a snowball, and slowly rolled it across the front lawn. Diane did the same. With only the sound of the wind and crunch of the snow beneath their feet, the Higgins family built themselves a Popsicle. By the time the neighbors awoke, it was clad in their dad’s old navy pea coat, his red striped scarf was whipping in the wind, the Burberry hat was weighted down with pebbles from the walkway, and instead of a corncob pipe and two eyes made out of coal, he had an old wooden spoon and two eyes made out of pepperoni. Days later, when the snowman melted, they couldn’t bear to part with his clothes. Instead of sending them to Goodwill, they packed them away and stored them in Clair’s garage. From then on, the night of every first snow, they ordered a pepperoni pizza and built themselves a Popsicle.

As the days passed, the whole--when is she having the baby thing--was starting to get on everyone’s nerves. Clair had washed, dried, and even ironed everything her newborn would need at least three times. She couldn’t sleep because she was always waiting for the phone to ring. She couldn’t organize because she was always waiting for the phone to ring. She couldn’t do anything because she was always waiting for the phone to ring. Henry, who had recently discovered the boundaries of what Clair couldn’t do, used his time to finish the crossword puzzle. “What’s a seven letter word for broiled?” he asked his wife as she sorted her underwear drawer, again.

 “Sautéed,” she sighed. “You’re never going to do the crossword again.”

“Never?”
Henry wryly asked as he lowered the paper to watch his wife.

“One phone call and it’s over!” Clair finished her drawer and started on Henry’s. “This is it. The last quiet time we’ll ever have.
After this, no more nothing!”

“No more nothing?” Henry stifled a laugh. “I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl.”

 “Who cares? We’ve got our unisex name and we’re ready to go.” Clair took a moment to really study Henry’s face. “I hope the baby has your eyes.”

“I hope the baby has your smile and your laugh, I love your laugh.”

“Oh God no!
No child should cackle like the Wicked Witch of The West.” Clair climbed on the bed with her Husband, snuggled next to him, and they sat there silently trying to piece together their best features and picture their child.

Henry suddenly filled with fear that something might happen to her, to them, or to their child, quivered with emotion. “I can’t imagine doing this with anyone, but you. You know that, right?”

 “That has to be the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.” They kissed as Henry lowered himself next to his wife. “Honey, the phone might ring,” she whispered into the nape of his neck, “Oh what the hell if we’re not
gonna
have time to get a crossword puzzle done then when the hell will we have time to do this? Make it quick, but not too
quick
!”

As they waited for the big moment to arrive, Jack is rubbing Grace’s shoulders. “Do you really need to go for eight weeks?”

“Oh, please, after this pregnancy I need to go for six months, but we can afford eight weeks.” Grace bent her head as Jack kneaded the back of her neck.

Jack kissed her. He loved that she smelled like fresh lemons and caramel. He blurted. “I know--about the cab and, you know--Ray in the cab, with you.”

Grace leaned against his chest and smiled. “And I know about your last bait and switch.” A relieved Jack laughed. “No more skeletons,” she said. “We’re adults having an adult relationship. Our past is our past--over and done!”

He kissed her again. “Okay, so let’s talk about our futures. Do you want kids--I mean of your own?” Jack massaged her neck and shoulders.

Grace let out a small sigh as Jack worked out a knot in her neck. “Do you want to know if I want to have your kids or do you want to know if I want kids in general?”

“Oh. I don’t know.” Jack obviously hadn’t really thought the question through.

“You ask the big questions then you run from them?” Grace peered into his somewhat frightened face. “I’m in it for the long haul. Baby or no baby, middle age, old age, diapers or no diapers, I don’t care as long as I’m with you.”

Jack smiled.
“Whose diapers, ours or the kids?”

“I’m hoping the kids. Hey, who said anything about kids? I said baby. Singular.”

“Aw come on, you don’t want an only child do you? The kid needs someone to play with, fight with--trust me.”

“I’m not having a
Faccinelli
basketball team. Two is my limit.” Grace pulled the blanket around them. “When we’re old and gray and you’re wearing depends, I’ll still love you.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who thought their water broke.” Life, Jack thought, doesn’t get any better than this. “Grace, will you marry me?” He asked.

“Not until I’ve gotten rid of the baby weight,” she murmured. “Will you marry me?” Then pulled his head toward hers and kissed him.

“Not until I’ve gotten you a ring.” Jack grinned as she snuggled against him and drifted off to sleep. Yep, life was good.

Grace yawned and drew the blankets tightly around her. She was going to miss taking naps in the middle of the day and having people hold doors and give up seats for her. For all her bitching and moaning, pregnancy wasn’t that bad. Grace yawned again then sat up and smiled. It was hard to believe that in the course of a year she fell in love, started her own cookie company, and was about to give birth to her own niece or nephew. “Hey, Sal’s waiting downstairs. We’ve got a meeting in fifteen minutes. You okay by yourself?” George asked as she emerged from her bedroom.

“Yep,” Grace was tired of waiting for this kid to pop out. “Besides, Jack’s coming over for dinner, so I’ll only be alone for two hours.”

George was putting on her coat. “Are you sure? Two hours is a long time.”

“Clair or Henry or his mother or my mother calls every hour on the hour. I’m good. We’re only a week past our due date. Everyone needs to relax.”

George sang and did a little dance. “Relax. Don’t do it.
When you want to go to it.”

Grace winced at that sound of George’s voice, but managed a smile. “Thanks.”

“For what?”
George asked.

“For never stealing any of my boyfriends, taking me to the most exciting places I’ve ever traveled to--drunk or sober, our fabulous tattoos, your friendship, and, well, everything in between.”

“Yeah, well, your boyfriends were all morons; I didn’t want you to date them, why the hell would I date them? As for a the rest, you’re easy to travel with, you don’t expect me to put out when I’m drunk, once our asses start to sag our tattoos won’t seem like such good ideas, and let’s face it, if it wasn’t for your family I’d still be a drunk.”  George grinned. “See
ya
later!”

Grace waved to George as she left. The phone rang. Grace dug around for it and finally located it under the cushions.
“Hey, Clair.
No labor pains. No water breaking. She just left. No, Jack will be here soon. I’m fine.
If you and Henry happen to be in the neighborhood stop by, but,” she cautioned, “not without any Don
Pablos
.
Hey, spicy might kick our labor into gear. Bye.” Grace got herself off the couch and stretched. Don
Pablos
sounds good she thought. If I leave now I can be back before Jack or even Clair got here. Liking this idea, Grace slipped into her furry Crocs and threw on her coat.

A few blocks away into her walk Grace pulled out her cell phone and left explicit where I am I now messages for her mom and Clair. Then she let the tantalizing smells pull her into Don
Pablos
. In between ordering the chicken tostada, the fajita platter, and making sure they gave her two large orders of chips, Grace suddenly felt wet again. Chalking it up to well, peeing herself once more, she moved over to the pick-up line.

“Grace?”

“Yep,” she answered before turning and seeing Ray.

“You’re huge.”

“Ray!” The woman next him chided as she jabbed him in the side, “I’m Nicole.”

“Nice to meet you.”
Grace abruptly cringed from pain. “Don’t mind me. Must’ve been the peanut butter and jelly I had for lunch.”

Ray was spooked. “Man, you’re ready to pop, eh?

“I’m a week late.” Grace silently counted to sixty like they taught her in Lamaze. “So, you come here a lot? Did you get the chicken tostada? It’s my favorite.” Hit with another tightening in her abdomen she doubled over in pain.

Nicole grabbed her arm and moved her out of the way. “I think you’re in labor.”

“I probably just peed myself. It happens all the time. Not all the time, just in the last two months...oh,
oooh
, okay, yeah, I should go. Nice meeting you.” Grace shuffled for the door as her number was called and debated whether or not to pick up her food.

Nicole grabbed her ticket and handed it to Ray. “Get her food and meet us outside.” A confused Ray did as he was told as Nicole helped a protesting Grace. “I have three kids, I know labor pains. We’re getting you to the hospital.”

“Really, you did this…
Aaaaah
… three times?” As soon as they were out the door, Grace searched for her cell phone. She took a deep breath and dialed. Hit with a rocking pain, Grace dropped the phone; Nicole picked it up for her. Grace’s hands were trembling, so Nicole held the phone against her ear. “Clair, my water broke, for real. I’m in labor,” she looked at Nicole, “right? I’m in labor?”

Nicole took the phone. “She’s in labor; we’re putting her in a cab and taking her to the hospital. Who am I?
Ray’s girlfriend.
Yes, that Ray. What hospital?”

Grace yelped, “St. Stephens,” then doubled over in pain as Ray came out with her food. “Did they give you extra chips?”

Nicole handed Ray Grace’s phone as she hailed a cab. Grace’s phone rang, Ray went to hand it to Grace, but she was occupied with another labor pain. “Hello?” He tentatively asked. “Yes, this is Grace’s phone. Who am I? Uh, Ray. Where’s Grace? She’s uh, otherwise occupied right now.” The caller hung up as Ray scrambled to help Nicole get Grace into the cab.

“We should go with you,” Nicole said, as she opened the door.

“
Noooo
,” said Grace, as she slid into the back seat.

“Then Ray should go with you.”

Both Ray and Grace yelped, “NO!” then Grace sighed, “I’m fine. Really, you’re an angel. Ray’s lucky to have you. Thanks for everything and look, dinners on me. Extra chips, so the meal never ends,” Grace shut the door.

Nicole told the driver what hospital to go to then
popped
her head into the back of the cab one last time. “You sure you’re okay alone?” A shaky Grace nodded yes as the cab took off with a lurch.

Ray watched the cab drive away when Grace’s phone rang again. “Hello? Yes, this is still Ray.” The caller hung up again. “He’s pissed.”

Nicole pointed to Grace’s cab as it pulled further away. “Don’t fuck this up the way you fucked that up, got it?” Ray definitely got it. Nicole took Grace’s phone from him and redialed the last number. “Hello? No, this is Nicole. Calm down. No, seriously calm down. Here’s what happened…”