Happy Hour (Racing on the Edge) (57 page)

Having no hair did nothing for his figure, that’s for sure. The shaving combined with the safety pinned pierced ears, made him resemble some biker dude’s cat, not my fluffy white longhaired Mr. Jangles who loved me and his spaghetti. I half expected him to whip out his switchblade and shank me in my sleep.

Thankfully, he did not.

On Thursday, they filled balloons full of Hershey syrup and threw them at Emma and me while we lay in the sun. That same day, we also found out that the ceiling fan in the living room was not strong enough to hold a dog’s leash while Logan was attached to the end of it.

Although, it
was
strong enough to hold a can of red paint and spray it throughout the room, causing it to resemble some kind of scene out of the series
Dexter
.

On Friday, Lucas put marbles in the red dragon’s gas tank causing her to make an extreme amount of noise while driving.

Logan also decided Mr. Jangles needed a bath.

After all, he was covered in red paint, so he put him in the washing machine on spin cycle.

There are two things you need to know about this. One, a normal cat will throw up twice their body weight
...
when dizzy. Two, a Mr. Jangles sized cat will throw up roughly ten times his body weight
...
when dizzy
...
give or take an ounce.

Like I said, there was never a dull moment.

Soon it was Saturday, and I was getting a little jittery as to what the next few days would bring. The last two nights of racing at Elma were cancelled due to a summer storm blowing through.

Unfortunately, Daytona wasn’t having the same storm, so Jameson was racing while I was stuck with Emma
and
the Lucifer twins.

Charlie and Andrea snuck up to Lake Quinault for the weekend to spend some time together. Long story short, this left us alone with the devils spawn.

It wasn’t exactly pressured upon us to watch them or anything. Feeling bad for them, we volunteered to watch the shit heads, which was why we were now picking out movies and buying a shit load of junk food in hopes they will pass out in a sugar-induced coma. It worked on Lane.

Did that happen?

No, that would have been entirely
too
easy.

Emma and I were curled up in the chase lounge in the living room, together, watching Poltergeist because Emma insisted we watch scary movies since it’s stormy outside. I think her brothers dropped her on her head when she was a baby because this logic of scary movies during a storm was just stupid to me.

I was not enthusiastic about watching a scary movie to begin with. The last time I watched a scary movie was the Exorcist with Jameson and I ended up sleeping with my bedroom light on for a goddamn month. And let’s not forget my phobia with preachers after that.

I hated clowns too and just a few minutes into this horrid movie, I
really
hated them.

By the time Carol Anne said, “They’re here,” Emma was sitting on top of me, viewing the movie threw my fingers as they covered her eyes. I wasn’t doing any better with my baby blanket wrapped around my head.

Yes, I still had my first baby blankie
...
don’t judge me.

When Robbie was pulled under the bed by the clown, we screamed. But not nearly as loud as we screamed when the Lucifer twins coaxed Mr. Jangles into the room.

It was a suspenseful part of the movie; you just knew something intense was coming any minute, when all of a sudden the shaved obese lion with safety pinned ears, Mr. Jangles, came flying through the air, landing on top of us.

We screamed bloody fucking murder.

I’m not gonna lie, I screamed as if I saw the devil himself.

I should have asked him to take his kids back.

After the screaming fit, the twins disappeared for good reason. I’m sure they gathered their lives were in jeopardy.

The storm gained strength. Wind blew, power was lost, and it rained, a lot.

All this with Emma, the Lucifer, and me twins
alone
, in the dark.

To say we were scared of the dark was an understatement
...
we were
petrified
of the dark. It might have something to do with the fact that we just watched Poltergeist but that’s unimportant.

“What if it’s Carol Anne?” Emma whispered in my ear. She was close enough that her breath tickled my neck. She couldn’t have gotten much closer. After all, we were wrapped around each other.

“I fucking hate you for making me watch that movie.” I seethed through my teeth scanning the dark room for any sign of the devils spawn. “Where in the hell are those Lucifer twins?”

All we heard were their evil giggles throughout the two-story house. If that’s not creepy, I don’t know what is.

Their giggles were quickly silenced when a loud crash came from outside, followed by heavy footsteps. The little creepers weren’t giggling anymore
...
nope; they were clinging to our legs like
Gorilla
glue.

Who in the hell would be walking around outside in this weather, was crazy. That just confirmed my fears that it could be some kind of deeply troubled axe murder. No one in their “right mind” would be out in this.

“Sway, what was that?” Lucas whined and even in the dark, I could see how wide his eyes were.

I honestly couldn’t say I felt sorry for the little shit, not after what he pulled during the movie with Mr. Jangles.

“It’s probably your father rising from hell to teach you a goddamn lesson.” I snapped prying him from my leg.

“Sway, that was a little harsh.” Emma punched my shoulder. “He’s
just
a child.”

“A child my ass,” I may have been a tad on the rude side right then but I was in fact just as scared as that six-year old. “Did you forget what they did to your boots?”

Another loud crash came from just outside the spooky tree that strangely resembled the one from the movie.

Tomorrow I would be cutting that down. I never noticed how scary it was until now. Or maybe it was just the movie.

More banging followed along with dogs I didn’t know the neighborhood even had barking. Similar to some horror movie, the wind picked up and blew the back door open. I thought for sure that only happened in movies just before they were gutted.

What did we do?

All of us screamed at once and ran in opposite directions.

Thankfully, Emma ran the direction of the gun cabinet.

But did she grab one? No, that would be too easy. Instead, she ran right past it to the kitchen. I ran after her, well wobbled. I had two of satins spawn attached to my legs.

In my attempts, I smashed into Emma, knocking us all to the ground.

Glancing at the object she had a death grip on, I laughed. “A house full of guns and you grab a
fork
?”

“I panicked, all right
...
” Her voice shuddered. “I panicked.”

“So you grab a fork? Why not a knife that was right beside it?”

Emma glared. “I p
anicked
!”

“Clearly,”

Lucas was trembling in my arms just about the time Logan wrapped himself around Emma like a human scarf.

“Sway
...
w-w-what’s out t-t-there
...
?” Lucas asked.

It was at that moment that I actually started to feel a little bad for them. I mean, yes they are shit heads but they’re just as scared as we were, possibly more.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing—” I was cut off by yet another howl of wind and another loud crashing noise.

What the hell was out there?

Both boys clung tighter to us as we backed up against the wall in the kitchen behind the table. Somehow we felt safer with chairs in the way, creating a diversion, let’s just hope we didn’t die in this version.

What if it is Carol Anne?
I thought to myself.

All my thoughts just went back to my theory of needing a man around. As old fashion as that sounded, I was a firm believer now. It was their job to protect and these 6-year olds with us were providing
no
protection. I didn’t have the heart to tell them, given their current state of terror, if they couldn’t “man up” at a time like this, there was no hope for them.

“Emma,” I whispered shakily, repulsed at how freaked out I’d become over a stupid movie. “Go see what’s out there.”

Emma did a ridiculous gasp-gulp thing that made me chuckle. “Me!” she asked pointing to herself with distress. “Why do I have to do it, why not you?”

“You have the fork.” I pointed out. “I clearly can’t protect myself as well. You on the other hand could fork ‘em.”

“That’s bullshit!”

Another loud crash came from the back of the house and someone stepped inside, the floor squeaking with each wet step they took.

Emma, driven by fear I assume, screamed like a little girl, held the fork up and ran for the perpetrator, all the while—
still
screaming.

There was squeaking from the water on the floor, screaming and more screaming. She crashed into the said perpetrator, knocking them both to the ground.

“What the fuck!” the man cried in pain but I knew that voice. How could I not
...
no one else had that rich raspy but velvet voice,
no one
.

“Jameson?” I asked hesitantly, Logan and Lucas started giggling.

“Yes it’s me
...
what the hell
?” he grunted in pain. “I think you hit bone
...
goddamn it
Emma!” he continued to scream in pain on the floor.

I quickly scrambled over to him, and though I couldn’t see clearly with the lack of light, I could vaguely see the outline of Emma’s weapon, impaled in Jameson’s right shoulder and blood.

“Emma!” I screeched reaching for a flash light. “You
stabbed
him.”

“Like I knew it was him.” Emma defended. “He should have said something!”

“Said something?” his voice took on a panicked edge but remained harsh. “
Fuckkkkk
...
this hurts
...
damn you Emma.” Jameson slammed his fist on the ground and then moaned in agony having jarred himself.

“Maybe we should take him to the hospital. I think I did hit his bone
...
” Emma admitted quietly backing away from Jameson who was screaming again because Logan pushed on the fork.

“Get him away from me!” Jameson growled fiercely my direction. My arms instinctively reached out to Logan, fearing for his safety. “Stay away from me.”

“Why are you all wet and muddy?” I asked examining his shoulder.