Hard Break (Deadlines & Diamonds, #5) (9 page)

“I’m your friend. That’s who I am.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m your next-door neighbor, your friend and from what I can tell I seem to be your anchor in this maelstrom.”

“I don’t need—”

“Seriously?” He clamped his lids tight and focused on his breathing.
In, out. In, out.
Snapping at her wouldn’t do anyone any good. He needed to calm down before he flipped out and made everything worse.
In, out. In, out.
He opened his eyes and stared at her.

She attempted strength in all her fragility. He wanted to bust down all her walls and get to the core of the woman inside. She still resided in there. He’d seen glimpses
, when her smile and laughter resonated genuine.

He breathed deep and allowed the exhale to pass from his lips audibly. She drove him to drink, she damn well deserved to know it.

“I
know
you don’t need me. Believe me, I’ve heard it loud and clear every damn time you tell me. And yet—” He spread his arms wide, exposing himself literally and figuratively. “—here. I. Am. Don’t you get it, Kayla, I love you!”

Shit
!
He had
not
meant to announce
that
to the world and judging by her gasp, she didn’t expect, or welcome, the declaration. Time for damage control.

“As your friend.
I love you as a friend. Ya know like Tom loves Jerry.”

She didn’t look convinced, but relaxed a bit. More than he could say for himself.

She smiled. “So, does that mean you’re going to smack me over the head with a frying pan?”

“You could sure use it. Right upside that pretty little cheek. Knock some sense into you.”

“Hey.” She rubbed said cheek. “I’m sensible.”

“Since when?”

She laughed. “I haven’t always been this…this…unbalanced. I told you I
am
trying.”

“How long has it been since you did something just for you?”

Kayla sank back against the overstuffed cushioning and sighed. The point had been made. She’d argue anyway. It was in her DNA. “I do something…Why are you grinning?”

“No reason. What were you saying?”

She snorted. “I take some time for myself every day.”

“Really? What do you do for yourself
every
day?”

At least she looked chagrined despite the stubborn set of her chin. “I…shower.”

Ian’s laugh burst from his toes. His insides warmed. Her cheeks reddened. He leaned forward, getting in close before dramatically sniffing her. “You shower?”

“Yes.” She batted him away. “I shower. I lock the bathroom door and I spend a little time to myself.”

“Do you cry?”

She went deer-in-the-headlights. He loved and hated that he knew her so well.

“Nevermind. I can see the answer in your eyes. What I’m asking
is, when was the last time you did something just for you? Something grown-ups do, something
fun
.”

Her sigh signaled resignation. “It’s been a while. But—”

“No buts, love.”

“Don’
t,” she said adamantly. “Please, don’t call me love. It’s too—” Her gaze lifted to his. “Intimate.”

Schwing!

“Got it,” he croaked. He cleared his throat. “No ‘love’. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

She ignored his statement, probably recognizing it for the lie it was. “The problem, Ian, is that I have no one to watch the kids while I get a little me time.”

“You have me.”

Again she snorted. Did she realize how freakin’ cute that was?

“Ian, you have a life of your own.”

“A life I’m more than willing to share with you.”

Her brows jumped to hair hairline.

“T
hat didn’t come out right.”
ShitDamnHell!
“I’m really not trying to hit on you.”

“I’
m a little old for you.”

Was she kidding?
“Are you kidding?”

“Oh, come on, I’m old.”

His turn to snort, and he did it with fervor. “You are beautiful. The total package; smart, sexy, gorgeous.”

She arched a brow.

“A total MILF.”

She laughed.

“Not that I think of you that way.”
Liar, liar, pants on fire.

“What if I showered?”
Her teasing eyes twinkled.

“Mom!” was followed by the
thud, thud, thud
of running footsteps. “Mom!” The
clunk
of a landed jump at the bottom of the stairs. Chase rounded the corner waving the misplaced hammer above his head. “I found it. Mom, I found it!” He skidded to a stop in front of them. “Can you believe it? I found it.”

Kayla stood and wrapped her arms around her son. “I love you.
I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” She lifted his chin with her finger. The boy blinked wildly against the tears building in his eyes. “Chase, I love you. It’s just a hammer and—”

“It’s Dad’s hammer.”

“I shouldn’t have flipped out like I did. I’m sorry.”

The apology let loose the floodgates and Chase gave up
the fight. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

Ian didn’t belong in this moment, but positioned on the couch as he was didn’t offer escape without completely interrupting the communion. He sat as still as he could and tried to fade into the tan leather.

“Kayla kissed Chase on his brow. “Why don’t you go put it away, so we’ll be able to find it next time?”

“
I love you, Mom and I’m sorry.”

“No more sorrys. We’re good. Go on, now.”

Chase ran from the room, but paused in the doorway. “Oh, Ian, you were right. It was under my bed.”

Ian’s laugh played bass to Kayla’s soprano and he liked the sound. When the kid disappeared from view, Ian stood and took Kayla’s hand in his. “Here’s the deal, Kay, I want to take you out on the town. Not a date, just two friends having some fun. What do you think?” 

“I don’t know. The kids…”

“Will be fine. I’ll have my sister come hang out with them.” At least he hoped he could convince her
to do it. “She’s a junior at UNLV. She’s responsible and loves kids.” He was such a freakin’ liar. Stephanie hated kids. But the Black kids were different. Everyone loved them. Steph would too. Even if he had to pay her to.

“I don’t know.”

“One night. A week from tomorrow. I’ll take care of everything. Do you have a party dress?”

“Yes,
I wore it to the Department Christmas party last year.”

“Red?”

“Yes.”

“Sexy?” Ian asked with a smirk.

“Leon thought so.”

“Good e
nough.” And then he kissed her.

Ten

I
an shocked her stupid by kissing her. Well, not
kissing
exactly. More like his lips skimmed over her cheek, barely touching her. Kayla hadn’t expected it, though. Nor had she expected the tiny flicker of interest tingling through her body.

She must just be cold. Except
that didn’t explain why she was so blasted hot. She barely resisted the urge to pluck at the hem of her sweater. “So, um, thanks for rescuing us today.”

He did his best Banty Rooster, puffing his chest out. “I’m not finished rescuing you.
I’m going to grab my ladder then I’m going to hang the picture you were so efficiently trying to hang.” He headed for the front door. “I’ll be right back,” he tossed over his shoulder as the door closed.

His words should have rankled her.
But he was right. About everything. She hadn’t taken any time for herself in a very long time. Not that she had a choice. The kids were her priority, first and foremost, no negotiations. Yes, she could have used their babysitter, but…

She shook her head. Going out by herself just didn’t interest her.

She liked Ian. He was safe.

Yes, he flirted, and Kayla couldn’t deny the thrill of having a younger man wink and smile at her like Ian did. She also appreciated his strength. She wasn’t sure she’d have made it through the last
six months without him.

Gosh, had it really been
six months. The hours flew by, one day drifting into the next and…wow, it’d been six months. At one point, not too long ago, she’d lived one second to the next, one teardrop to the next. Now, though, she could breathe. She’d found her laugh again.

All thanks to Ian.

Was it okay for her to admit she was excited for their non-date? Because she looked forward to playing grown-up and going out on the town. She wasn’t ready to start dating for real. She wasn’t interested in adding another man into her life and the lives of her children, not by a long shot.

Ian was just Ian.

She smiled, thinking of how he told Chase to clean under his bed. Her son hated cleaning his room and Kayla knew most of his stuff ended up shoved into the abyss under the box springs. Truth was, she didn’t let the knowledge bother her. Of all of the battles to fight with her ten-year-old, the collection site under his bed wasn’t the hill to die on.

“Chase!” She crossed into the kitchen, toward the garage.

The heavy, self-closing door jerked open and Chase appeared. “Yeah.”

“Come here, bud, I want to talk with you.”

The blood drained out of his face.

She led him over to the table and took a seat in her chair. He plopped down in his. She glanced at Leon’s chair. No one ever sat in his chair these days, hadn’t since he’d last sat in it the evening before he died. Her eyes burned. God, she missed him.

“I want you to know how sorry I am for freaking out like I did.”

“
I know.” He reached out, across the table and took her hand. “Really, Mom, I know.” He patted her hand like she were the child. “Mom, you’re under a lot of stress, I know that. Dad was our dad, but he was your best friend. He made you happy. You miss him.”

“Yeah, I do. I feel a little lost without him.”

He nodded, pursed his lips, looking very grown-up. “Of course you do. We all miss him. But you have to miss him the very most.”

She eased her ha
nd out from under his and placed it on top. “Regardless of how hard your dad’s death is on me, I shouldn’t take it out on you, Chase.”

He nodded again. “And I shouldn’t have lost Dad’s hammer.”

“Any idea how it ended up under your bed?”

“Well, now
that I found it, I remember I needed to fix my dresser. A nail came loose and I didn’t want to bother you with it.” He shrugged. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Come here.” She motioned for him to come around the table. When he did, she remained seated, and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his chest. He hugged her back, with equal intensity. It wouldn’t be long before her son dwarfed her.

The front door banged open and Kayla heard the clanking of metal against metal.

Chase jerked away. “Ian’s back. I like Ian, Mom. He makes you laugh. I like that. Can I go help him, please?”

“Yeah. Be sure you’re helping
and not bothering.”

He laughed. “I never bother Ian, Mom.” He rolled his
eyes. “He loves me.” He took off on a dead run.

Hmm…i
t hadn’t occurred to her how much Ian cared for her children. The realization smacked of face-palm. Obviously, the young stud wouldn’t hang out with people he didn’t like. But it was the way Ian handled all of them with exactly the right amount of…
Ugh!
She couldn’t put her finger on the emotion. Probably because she refused to think he might love her.

Idiot!
He already admitted he did love her. As a friend, he’d quickly clarified.

She breathed deep. Frien
ds. That’s all she could do. It was all her heart could handle. Because, come on, he didn’t see her as anything more than the pathetic next-door neighbor in need of a man to hang the portrait of her dead husband on the wall.

“Hey, Kay, where exactly do you want this?”
   

Speaking of which…

“I’m coming.”

In the living room, the couch h
ad been moved out and Ian’s ladder stood a few inches from the wall. He wore a leather tool belt low on his hips. She wondered if the workout shorts he also wore could stand the weight. She hoped so. She really…did.

“Kay?”

She blinked, focusing her thoughts before letting her gaze flash to his. “Yeah.”

His brows jerked, flirted. Her heart stuttered. He really shouldn’t flirt with her. “Whatcha hanging and where do you want it?”

She moved over to the television cabinet and pulled the enormous frame from beside it. He met her halfway, taking the wood encasing the eleven-by-seventeen.

“It’s heavy, so we’re going to have to find the stud.” He looked at Chase. “You know how to find the stud, bud?”

Chase thumped his chest. “Found one.”

Ian’s
deep laughter resonated through the room. “That’s not the stud I meant.”

“Oh.” Chase played innocent, although his grin gave the
faked naiveté away.

Ian chuckled and went to the wall. “Where do you want it, babe?”

“About there.” She pointed to a spot on the wall. “As close to the middle as you can get it.”

“Got it.” He took a pencil from his tool bag and stuck it behind his ear. “
Check this out, bud, I’m going to teach you the two ways to find a stud.”

Chase’s expression we
nt serious.

Ian curled his fingers in, forming a loose fist. C
hase followed his lead.

“T
ake your knuckles and knock on the wall.”

Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Like this?”

“Kinda.” Ian knocked in a line horizontally across the wall. “Now, listen.” More
knock, knock, knock
ing. “Did you hear the difference?”

“Yeah, like it wasn’t hollow anymore.”

Ian grinned. “Exactly. That’s the stud. And in a pinch you could take the chance. But we don’t want to take a chance with your dad’s portrait.”

“Why does it matter?”

Ian picked up the portrait and handed it to Chase, who grunted. Ian took the frame back, setting it back on the couch. “If you try to hang that in the drywall, it’ll stay put for a while, but eventually the weight will rip the nail out and it’ll fall.”

“And break.”

“Yep. And we don’t want that.”

Kayla loved the way Ian interacted with Chase. With all of her kids. But Chase especially. Her son idolized their neighbor, and Ian didn’t seem to mind in the least.

He pulled a tool which kinda looked like a warped putty knife from his belt and handed it over for Chase to inspect. “That is a stud finder.”

Chase turned it over in his hands. “How does it work?”

“Lay the flat part against the wall and push the button while sliding it over the surface. Whoa, not so fast. Yeah, like that.”

It beeped and Chase jumped. “What’d I do?”

Ian laughed. “That’s the stud. Now, go real slow. We want to find both sides.” He took the pencil from behind his ear and turned to Kayla. “How far up to do you want it, lo- ah Kay?”

She grabbed the picture and held it up to the wall. “About there.”

Ian, all business, looked at Chase. “Why don’t you climb the ladder so you can reach.”

They moved the ladder closer to the wall and Chase climbed up two steps. He ran the stud finder over the wall, pausing when it beeped. Ian made a mark. Chase moved the tool, stopping when it beeped again. Ian made the other mark. He dug in a pocket of his tool belt and pulled out a nail.

“Where’s your hammer?”

“In the garage.”

“Don’t you think we should use your dad’s hammer to hang his portrait?”

“Yeah!” Chase hopped off the ladder and raced out of the room.

Kayla went to Ian. She wanted to hug him. But didn’t. “Thank you.”

He smiled. “You’re very welcome.”

“I did need rescuing today and I’m...thank you for everything, especially for being so great with Chase.”

“It’s my pleasure. He’s a great kid.”

Gratitude warmed her soul. “You’ve done so much for us. I’ll never be able to repay you.”

“Sure you can.”

“Name it.” She’d do anything to let him know how much she appreciated him.  

“It’s simple, really.”

“I said name it.”

He sighed. His beautiful
brown eyes bored into her, stripping her bare. “Please don’t ever tell me you don’t need me.”

“
I promise.” She may not ever
tell
him she didn’t need him again, but it didn’t mean she did, nor did it mean she wouldn’t
think
it.

His grin radiated victory, the kind that both scared and excited her. Dangerous. As much as she trusted this man in front of her, with her life, her home, her
children
, he proved to be very, very dangerous for her heart. 

I
an finished up, hanging the insanely huge portrait of Leon Black, put his tools away and headed for the shower. So much for allowing Kayla to live her life without constantly inserting himself into it.

He hadn’t intruded today. He’d been asked to help, and he had. He hadn’t been asked to try and swe
ep Kayla away for a little R&R, but well, there ya go.

Ever since opening his mouth and offering the invitation, Ian’s thoughts had started spinning with possibilities. Everything, though, hung on one very important thing.

He grabbed his phone, stabbed a finger at the smiling picture of his sister, and waited for the answer.

“Well, hey, stranger. Where the hell you been?”

“Here and there.” Ian smiled. His baby sister liked to think she should keep tabs on him. He tended to feel the same about her. “Phone lines run both ways, Steph. Where the hell you been?”

She laughed. “Got a new guy.”

“Yeah. When do I get to meet him?”

“Not yet. I’m not
that
sure of him.” A ruffling sounded, along with a muffled, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be right there.” To Ian she said, “Hey big brother, I’m heading into a movie in a few minutes. Is this a social call or did you need something?”

Always straight to the point, his little sister. “I need a favor.”

“Of course you do.” She sounded skeptical.

“Remember my neighbor?
”

“The one you’re all go
o-goo over? Yeah. What about her?”

He really needed to pitch this well or his sister would tuck tail and run. “Between the funeral and the kids and life, Kayla is on the verge of a meltdown.” He didn’t say she’d already gone molten.

“I can imagine.”

“She needs some time away from the kids and I offered to take her out.”

“On a date?”

“On a non-date,
as friends. She’s not ready to date yet.”

“Be careful, Ian. I’m sure she’s
really nice, but your heart’s… Wait. A. Second. Did you say you’re going to take her out, to give her time, away from the kids? Oh, hell, no.”

“Stephanie, please.”

“Ian, I haven’t played babysitter since I was fourteen and I hated it then. They put gum in my hair! No way! How about
I
take her out? Has she seen
Thunder from Down Under
?”

At the mention of the all-male revue Ian’s blood boiled. “Not funny.”

“Or maybe
American Storm
. I hear their lead guy, ya know the one on the billboard, Christian something or other, is really hot.”