Hard Man (5 page)

“You still feel pretty alive.” It was interesting to feel the hot fluid caught up in the fabric.
Ashbea
had never actually been with a man who hadn’t worn a condom. She kept up the milking action until Harry staggered slightly against the table. “Damn shame we can’t do that again.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m just a girl from Brisbane at a fuck-
me
shoe convention.”

Harry reached in and cupped her face in his hands. “I wasn’t planning on you.”

“Well, you’re a hell of a surprise to me too.”

“So what now?”

“I don’t know. This is all just…” What was it? It was new and exciting but scary at the same time. Her mind was tangled up with possibilities and complications. “I just don’t know but please don’t tell me that was a mistake.” Her eyes locked on
Harry’s
. “I won’t believe it.”

“No, no mistake, bumblebee.”
Harry’s
smile was soft on her. “Do you know what I think we should do?”

“What?” Buy a truckload of condoms and have more sex? That would be an excellent idea.
Ashbea
was on the verge of mentioning it when Harry interrupted her.

“Find a supply of fast-drying glue.”

Bugger.
Ashbea
had forgotten all about the shoe thing. It was plain, boring and tedious compared to what else was on offer. “You’re right. We should forget everything and get to the task at hand.”
Where the hell are my clothes? More importantly where were
Harry’s
?
How was she supposed to concentrate when a naked man with a hard-on and no condom was parading around? It was more than a body could bear.

“Bumblebee, I’m not going to forget.”

“Me neither.”
Did I mention I love you?

Chapter Four

Clothed once more, they sat and glued tacky plastic heels back onto shoes. The glue had been easy to procure. Like any good manager, Harry always made sure he had a supply of fix-it materials for all dramas that may occur. It was strangely peaceful sitting among a sea of broken heels with
Ashbea
. They worked in quiet companionship, neither saying much but each occasionally looking at the other as if they wanted to but were unsure.

For the first time in a long time, Harry felt pain free. It was with
Ashbea
that he found a quiet peace. He knew she wanted to ask about the scars. It would have been unrealistic to think that she wouldn’t. Harry would never forget the way she had run her tongue along the mangled flesh of his skin. It had been loving and sweet and it had shaken him to the core. Her compassion and quiet understanding meant more to him than any other gift he could have been given.
Ashbea
gave him a peace that made him feel relaxed.

“So, do you want to tell me about it?”
Ashbea
glanced at him, raising her eyebrows in invitation. “I mean one minute you’re trying to be a complete bastard and the next you’re being sweet and helping me. You know, you’re going to give me a complex.”

Yeah, he liked her.
Ashbea
said what she felt and didn’t cover it with pretty words.
“Nothing to say, bumblebee.”
Harry knew that was not what she wanted to hear.
Ashbea
and seen and touched him. She knew.

She dropped one completed shoe on the pile. “Tell me about the scars, Harry.”

“Nope,” he replied and tried to concentrate on the task at hand but it was hard to do when he didn’t care about ugly shoes. Until now, no one got to hear about his scars let alone see them. Past lovers were always taken with the lights out. Harry wanted to see neither a look of horror nor that of pity. Not that it mattered as he hadn’t had sex with any lady more than once. That was until
Ashbea
. She was more than fulfilling a biological need.

“It might make you feel better.”

You make me feel better.
“Going to psychoanalyze me, bumblebee?” Even the hospital head-
shrinkers
had given up on that. The scars were caused by foolish anger and they were not something Harry was proud of or wanted to share.

“Maybe.”
Ashbea
picked up another loose heel and grinned at him. “Tell me—come on—not only do I have a great ass but I’m an excellent listener.”

When she smiled like that Harry wanted that ass again. He wanted
Ashbea
. The oath he had sworn against ever getting involved with a woman suddenly had no meaning, for
Ashbea
was not just any woman.

“Please.”
Ashbea’s
hand reached out and covered his.

“My hand is covered with superglue.”

“Then you’ll be stuck to me.”

Harry wanted that. He also feared it. Last time he had loved too much and it had ended badly. “
Ashbea
…”

She pulled her hand away. “No, I get it. It’s your life and you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

But he wanted to. Harry needed her to understand him.
Ashbea
had gotten under his skin like no other. He wanted to let her in. “Twelve months ago I was in a car crash.” The words were out before he could hold them back.

“And?”
Ashbea
kept on gluing.

Although her reaction was calm, Harry could see her knuckles whiten as she waited for more. “That’s it.”

“Bullshit.” Her words were soft with challenge. “I reckon you’re doing the hard man thing because somehow, for some reason you feel guilty and maybe foolish.”

Bingo.
Ashbea
was smart. She got him without Harry saying much at all. It was a relief. There was something so rare in another person seeing beyond the outer façade he projected. Most assumed he was arrogant and aloof. Harry had given them no reason to think otherwise in the last year.
Ashbea
saw beyond that and made him want more than the life he had imprisoned himself in.

“This is how I see it, Harry. You tell
me
and we move on or you hold it inside you until you freeze up and never love anyone again.”

The “L” word had been dropped and the silence in the room was suddenly deafening.

It was funny to think that only yesterday Harry did not know
Ashbea
existed and yet in a heartbeat she had turned his life around and made him want to believe he could love again. “I could have killed someone…” And all the words Harry had been holding inside tumbled out.

Ashbea
listened in silence as Harry spoke in low, measured tones. The man was hiding so much pain and crazy guilt over something he did on the spur of the moment. It needed to come out.
Ashbea
was glad he’d told her. It made her understand the man so much more but that presented a problem. She loved him. It was madness of course. But there it was.
Ashbea
had fallen in love with Harry.

“You didn’t kill anyone.”

“But I could have.”

“As far as I can see the only one you hurt was yourself.” From what
Ashbea
understood the woman should have told him that what she was feeling did not match what he believe there was between them.
Loving in vain in sucked.
It also indicated that when Harry loved it was deep and forever. “Do you still love her?”
Ashbea
gripped the shoe she held so tightly that she expected it to snap in two. If he still carried a torch for Caitlyn then there was no way they could be together.

“No, I don’t.”

“Good. I mean, you’re better off without her.”

“Maybe I pushed her into the arms of another man.”

“How?
Because you loved her and you told her that? You know, Harry, I’m not absolutely certain about how the whole love thing works but I believe this, love should be about honesty and she should been truthful about how she felt.” It was different for
Ashbea
of course. She was hardly going to say “Harry, I love you” and freak him out. The man had been through too much to have that dumped on him. “That you love deeply and with commitment is an amazing thing. There is someone better for you and you won’t want to hold on to them so tightly because they won’t leave you as she did.”

“Have you ever been in love?” His eyes were locked on hers.

Yes, right now, with you.
“I think we should get the heels back on.” Harry did not need some silly woman from Brisbane falling all over him and demanding love back.

“
Ashbea
?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“Any time, Harry.”
I would do anything for you.

It was then that Mitzi walked in and fainted. Ida shrieked and dropped to her knees beside her.

Harry jumped up to help. “Is she all right?”

Ashbea
reached for another shoe and began gluing. “Mitzi does it for effect. She’d probably stand up and faint again if she knew we had sex in here. Oh crap, I glued this one on backward.”
Though sometimes it was hard to tell the right or the wrong way with Princess Mitzi shoes.

Harry turned his attention back to
Ashbea
. “It looks better that way.”

“Oh my goodness!”
Ida sounding hysterical.
“She’s not breathing!”

“Oh my goodness,”
Ashbea
mimicked in the same high-pitched anxious tone.
Harry smiled and that was all she cared about. She wanted to keep this man smiling. He had been far too hard on himself. Yeah, this would all end in a couple of days but
Ashbea
wanted to make them memorable. “Mitzi is an expert at holding her breath to get what she wants. She’ll come around when she thinks she’s going to die for real.”

“You’re heartless.” Harry sounded quite amused by the fact.

“With bimbo brain?
Oh yeah.”
Ashbea
didn’t care that her boss could hear her. She was over the Princess Mitzi deal. As soon as she got back home,
Ashbea
planned to look for another job.

Ida admonished her. “You’re not taking this seriously,
Ashbea
.”

“I’m sitting here on my ass gluing heels onto shoes for the good of the company. How much more seriously do you want me to take this?”
Ashbea
glanced over and saw Mitzi’s eyes fluttering. She was as
fake
as her shoes.

“Should we call an ambulance?” Ida was wringing her hands tighter with despair.

“I don’t think they come out for emergency shoe repairs.” Good lord, how many times did they have to go through these amateur dramatics before Ida got a clue about how petulant Mitzi was?

Harry laughed. “Let’s get out of here.” He reached over and pulled the shoe from her hand.

“What about Miss Marx?”

“Go get a bottle of gin, Ida, and wave it under her nose.”

“You don’t like Mitzi, do you?”

Ashbea
stood and took his hand. “The woman brought me here to the convention as apparently I’m ‘chunky’ and if I can fit into Princess Mitzi shoes, anyone can.”

“She’s a bitch and you’re perfect.”

“Really?”
Ashbea
knew she wasn’t but for Harry to say it made her feel beautiful.

“Annabelle…” Mitzi moaned as if in deep pain.

Ashbea
rolled her eyes. “Oh for God’s sake, get me out of here.”

Chapter Five

“Room service,” called a voice from the other side of the door of room 1113.

“Damn, they’re early,” Harry muttered as he thrust back and forth into
Ashbea’s
ass. As soon as they had arrived in her hotel room and their clothes had hit the floor, he had asked
Ashbea
what she wanted to do. She had pulled out the stash of condoms and lube she’d purchased with the hope that something like this would happen.
Ashbea
smiled as Harry caught them eagerly. She then dropped down into all fours and presented her ass to him. Harry defied any man not to take up that invitation from a woman. He could not get the condom and lube quickly enough. He had never had a lover so giving of herself. That meant a lot to him. Sure, it was sex but it was more than that. It was trust and being able to be who you wanted to be and acting without fear. That
Ashbea
felt safe enough to do that with him made Harry feel loved and needed.
Did I ever love Caitlyn?
It had been nothing like what he felt for
Ashbea
.

“We should get that,”
Ashbea
said, her eyes closed and her hands gripping the short tufts of the carpet. “I’m starving.” Harry started to pull out from her ass. “No, don’t do that.” She pushed back against him.

“You’re starving but you want me to stay inside you?” Harry was not about to ask room service inside at that moment. Sharing was never an option with him.

“Yes and yes.”
Ashbea
lifted her head and called out. “Please put the tray on the on the floor. Thank you.”

“Okay, ma’am.”

Ashbea
grimaced. “I hate it when people call me ma’am.”

This was funny. Here they were, bodies locked together and hearts pounding and
Ashbea
was annoyed about a title. “Why?”
Did I ever really live life until she came into it?
Harry resumed his pace. The tight muscle gripping his cock felt amazing.

“It makes me feel decrepit.”

He cupped her swinging breasts. “You feel anything but, bumblebee.”

“Thank you. Now hurry up.”

Harry chuckled. “You’re hard on a man’s ego.” But he wanted to hurry. He wanted to explode inside her and make her come screaming. He did so love it when
Ashbea
moaned his name in uncontrolled passion.

“Harry boy, I want you. I need you and no one else will ever do this to me but you, but I really need to eat that club sandwich too.”

No one else.
It had a nice ring to it and it was exactly what Harry wanted to hear. And no, this wasn’t anything like being with Caitlyn. She never welcomed him or touched his heart as
Ashbea
did. Harry pulled out and slammed back inside her making
Ashbea
squeal. “So now I’m on par with a club sandwich?” He gave her ass a playful slap.

“And I ordered French fries with it too.”

“Oh well, that makes a difference. How can I compete with that?” His balls slapped against her ass as his hand moved ‘round to massage her clit.
Ashbea
was so slick and wet between the legs that Harry bypassed her clit and slid his fingers into the core of her.

“Oh Harry,”
Ashbea
moaned and pushed her face into the carpet, making her body rise up against his.

This total submission was almost his undoing. Harry covered her body with his and kissed her shoulders and back as he plunged in and out, fingers and cock, pushing her on to
scream
her lungs out in release. And scream
Ashbea
did. It was an intense wailing sound of deep contentment as she pressed back against him for everything Harry could give her. He’d never had a lover like
Ashbea
. She gave without thinking. She made him feel more of a man than he ever had before.

“Bloody hell,”
Ashbea
whimpered as she tried to keep her balance under the pounding of his cock. “I may never leave Melbourne.”

I will never leave you.
“That’s the plan.”

“I mean this is the nicest possible way, Harry, but please hurry up and come.”

“So you can eat?” He was not offended. Harry liked that there was no pretense with
Ashbea
.

“Yes, I am burning up so many calories with you that I may waste away.”

Harry slapped her butt once more. “We can’t have that.” He gave one last thrust, surging forward as he came, grinding his groin against her fleshy ass. They remained still for a moment as they each sought to collect themselves.

“You’re very good at this.”

“You make me so.”
I love you.

* * * * *

The food was cold by the time they had showered and fooled around some more under the warm spray.

Ashbea
sat naked and cross-legged on the bed, a sandwich in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. “This is delicious.” He was delicious. Actually the whole world looked pretty damn good to her at that moment.

“It’s not hot though.” Harry lounged beside her, stroking her thigh.

“It’s still good.”

Harry smiled and shook his head. “Are all your senses blinded by sex?”

“Maybe.”
Ashbea
chewed on a French fry. “Harry?” There was so much she wanted to say to him. They had crossed a lot of barriers yet declaring her love for him was something she still could not blurt out.
What if I am the only one who feels this way?

“Yeah?”

“Stay the night.”
Ashbea
wanted to feel his body against hers. She wanted to wake up in his arms, though, being the restless sleeper she was he’d probably end up with a black eye—but it was a romantic idyll she wanted to experience.

Harry lifted her hand and kissed it. “I was planning to.”

Later as they snuggled close together on the king-size bed,
Ashbea
realized for the first time in her life she felt truly at peace. “Harry?” she called to him. There was no answer. She turned in his arms and looked at him.
Ashbea
caught her breath. He was lovely. “Harry?” Only his quiet breathing could be heard. “I love you.” She smiled to herself. That sounded pretty damn good.

* * * * *

“Okay, I’m not going to get angry. It was just sex. Remember that.” But damn it,
Ashbea
was angry. Harry had left her bed without a word or a note. She had woken up alone. Sure, there was no commitment between them but she wanted to believe that she was more than a one-night stand. “Get over it. Get over him. Get breakfast,”
Ashbea
muttered as she marched toward the hotel restaurant for breakfast. Empty calories made everything seem better. “It’s not like it meant anything. It was just sex. He’s a man. They do that.”
She had offered, he had taken.
“So what was the big deal?”

“Table for one?” the maître d’ asked.

That just sounded so pathetic in the light of what she was feeling. “Yes, thank you.” It was not his fault that she was pathetically pining over a man she had only just met.

“No, make that for two please.”

Ashbea
whirled around to see him. She felt ridiculously happy. “Harry.”
I love you.

“What?” His smile was crooked and full of amusement.

“Nothing.”
Ashbea
was not a clingy woman and she wasn’t about to start now especially not with a man who viewed women as he did.

Harry hooked his arm around her waist and guided her to a table. “Thought I’d left you like a thief in the night?”

“Yes.” Why lie? It was the truth.

“I would never do that.
Ashbea
, I—”

“You don’t have to say anything.” She sat down on the chair he pulled out for her.
Ashbea
didn’t want him feeling guilty. She was a grown woman, responsible for her actions. Though, maybe a little guilt would be okay.

“I want to talk to you about us.” Harry sat down on the chair opposite.

There’s an “us”? “Look, Harry, I know it’s just sex between us.”

“It’s not just sex.” He reached over and took her hand. “You know it and I know it.”

“Is this a rebound thing?” The words were out of
Ashbea’s
mouth before she could think.

“You’re not the first woman I’ve had sex with since the accident,
Ashbea
.” Harry didn’t look taken aback or offended. “But you’re the first one I have touched more than once and you’re the only one I have slept with and yeah, I did get up early as I have a job to do.” He stroked her hand, his eyes on hers. “But I wanted to stay.”

Ashbea
swallowed hard. It was exactly what she wanted to hear. “What is this, Harry? What are we doing here?”

“Do you really have to ask,
Ashbea
?”

“Harry, I w—”

“
Ashbea
, yoo-hoo!”

She turned her gaze in the direction of the high-pitched summons. “Oh holy crap, it’s the Barracuda.” Louise was heading straight for them, wobbling on orange spiked heels. She was dressed in a lime-chartreuse jumpsuit and had a large white bandage covering the left side of her forehead “What the hell is she doing here?” Last time
Ashbea
had seen her she had been flat on her back in the hospital.

“The woman with the bandage on her head?”
Harry stood up as she approached.

“Yeah, she fell
into an open grave selling shoes—
don’t ask, it’s a crazy business we’re in. Louise.” She was the last person
Ashbea
wanted to deal with. Adding her to the other two Princess Mitzi nutcases was completing the triumvirate of madness.

“I hear you need me.”

Like the proverbial hole in the head.
“How?”
Louise didn’t look good. Her eyes were glazed and she swayed back and forward.

“Mitzi rang and told me of the dramas down here so I hopped the first plane out of Brisbane yesterday, er, I mean today…yes, today. I am here today because Mitzi needs her number one salesperson to help her.”

It sounded like something Mitzi would do in a panic.
Ashbea
looked at Louise. She was three sheets to the wind and couldn’t remember what day it was.
Lovely.
I must leave this job. I am sick of the drama.
Ashbea
introduced Harry to Louise. He steadied the lime-green apparition as she swung against him.

“She’s drunk,” Harry whispered to
Ashbea
.

“Probably.”
It was not unusual for Louise to be three sheets to the wind. Normally she would have blamed it on a business lunch. But
Ashbea
suspected it was several neat gins on the flight down. Louise was not one to worry about things like mixing her alcohol and meds. If Louise wanted something she did it regardless of consequence.

“Come on back to work,
Ashbea
.”

In a pig’s eye.
Ashbea
had already made up her mind to leave Princess Mitzi shoes and as Louise was now here,
Ashbea
was not needed at the convention. She could go home.
Ashbea
looked at Harry.
And I leave him behind.
Realistically that was what she had to do. It didn’t mean
Ashbea
liked it. “I’m having breakfast.” She was determined to spend whatever time she could with this man.

“
It’s
okay,
Ashbea
,” Harry told her.

“No it’s bloody not.” The smile he gave her was one thousand times more valuable than any money she could get in her job. “Mitzi and Ida will be somewhere in that direction.”
Ashbea
waved her hand vaguely. “Listen for the wailing and worrying.”

Louise looked uncertain. “Well, okay. I guess I’ll go find Mitzi.”

“You do that.”
Ashbea
and Harry watched her weave her tipsy way from them.

“Do many people deny the Barracuda?” Harry resumed his seat.

“No, most end up buying shoes from her to shut her up.” Her feet touched his under the table. As their time together was short,
Ashbea
wanted whatever contact she could have with this man.

“Will you get in trouble?”

“Nah, they’ll have a new drama by the time I see them.”

Harry chuckled and reached once more for her hand. “You know that your job is not normal, don’t you?”

That he needed to touch her as much as she did him made her heart beat faster.
Maybe I can stay in Melbourne, sell my house,
move
my entire life down here.
“Yeah, but it pays the bills.”
Snap out of it. I don’t even know if the man wants me.

“What do you really want to do?”

“Go to an island and relax.” Be away from everyone and everything except Harry. Pipe dreams, while good, were not realistic. As if to underscore that, her cell phone rang in her purse.
Ashbea
kicked it farther under the table.

“Yeah, I’d like that too. Are you going to answer that?”

“Nope.
So, Harry…”

He leaned in close to her.
“Yes,
Ashbea
?”

Beautiful, sexy man.
“What do we have here?”
What can we have?

“What do you want?”

“Everything.”
Ashbea
put it out there. Whatever happened she did not want to say she did not try for more.

“Let’s work on that.” Harry leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “I want to.”

Oh,
that smile
. It made her heart flip-flop. “I do love it when you smile.”

“I never had much reason to until you came along.”

“And fell on you.”

“And then I accused you of being drunk and desperate for a man.”

“Ah, the good times.
I’m starving.” With the workout she had been having with Harry,
Ashbea
was sure she had to have lost pounds and she could afford to eat bacon and eggs guilt free.

Harry laughed. “That’s what I like about you,
Ashbea
. You say what you mean.”