Harlequin Historical May 2014 - Bundle 1 of 2: Notorious in the West\Yield to the Highlander\Return of the Viking Warrior (61 page)

‘One afternoon. This afternoon.' His tone left no room for objection. ‘You will scarcely notice the difference. You always hated weaving, Kara. You complained bitterly about it when you were little.'

Kara put her hand to her mouth. He would have to remember that! After her mother died, her aunt had arrived to look after the house for her father and had insisted that she learn to weave properly rather than looking after animals. ‘Do you know how much I have to do? Winter is coming. It waits for no one, not even you.'

‘I want to show you what I plan to do when I take Rurik out on his own to ease your nerves. You will get more done if your mind isn't constantly occupied with worry.' His eyes held hers. She made the mistake of looking directly at them and tumbling into their blue depths. ‘I want you to feel secure with Rurik's training, rather than having every possibility prey on your mind. I know what a vivid imagination you have. If you are not completely satisfied, then I won't mention the idea to Rurik.'

Kara's heart constricted. The offer was very unexpected. Ash was doing this for her to ease her mind rather than simply taking Rurik or building Rurik's hopes up. She had to meet him halfway. She had to trust him with this small thing.

‘You want me to go hunting with you? Alone?'

‘Tracking is perhaps the better word, learning to distinguish various tracks and follow the best ones.' He gave a half-smile. ‘You used to beg me to take you on every expedition.'

Kara put her hand on her hip. ‘You used to delight in taking me the hardest ways.'

‘But you never gave up.'

‘That's right.' Kara's stomach tightened. Before Rurik, she went along with everyone's ideas and didn't complain. She always tried to see the best in everything. ‘I'm a very determined woman.'

‘Come with me for the afternoon.' Ash gestured about the room where several other women worked. ‘Leave this to the others. Say you will go. You and I, like the old days.'

A tide of warmth enveloped her. Ash wanted to spend time with her. Alone. ‘So I can know what you intend with Rurik.'

‘Precisely.' His smile spread across his face. ‘I promise no harm will come to you. Nothing will happen that you don't want to. I won't make you fire an arrow to kill a bird.' He named several other incidents from long ago when she had been allowed to tag along, only if she did what he said.

‘I never complained,' she answered stoutly.

‘It would have been better if you had. It is impossible for me to know what you are thinking if you keep it to yourself.'

‘You mustn't regret those excursions. I did enjoy them...after a fashion.'

He gave a crooked smile. ‘Even though I treated you like a nuisance. My only excuse is the ignorance of young age.'

‘A young girl trailing at your heels is hard. You were very good, Ash. I never came to any harm.'

‘Saxi will look after Rurik and teach him how to fashion the feathers on an arrow.'

‘Thora can take charge,' Kara said, coming to a decision. She wanted to go. Not just because of Rurik, but to spend time alone with Ash. It had been far too long since they had spent an afternoon together. And she didn't have any fears. She was in charge of the situation.

* * *

‘See if you can tell what these tracks are,' Ash said, kneeling on a grassy knoll beside a small pond. ‘Use the things I taught you today, rather than any long-ago knowledge. Pretend you are Rurik.'

Kara breathed deeply, savouring the feeling of being outside, rather than inside weaving. It was one of the last unexpectedly warm days of autumn. In the mornings, faint ice appeared on the edges of ponds like this, but when the afternoon sun hit, the air was pleasant. She had trouble remembering when she last felt this free. No responsibilities other than enjoying herself.

‘I'm pleased you recognised at last that I do know animal tracks,' she said.

He laughed softly. ‘I always knew, but I want you to experience how I teach now.'

She peered at the number of tracks in the mud. A wide variety of animals had obviously used this pond. ‘Which ones do you want to know about?'

‘The ones closet to the pond. They are the most difficult. It is the sort of thing I want to do with Rurik. Do you think you can do it?'

‘Of course I can and I am sure, with a little help, Rurik will be able to, as well.' Kara knelt down and examined the various different tracks. It had been years since she had done this and she had forgotten how much fun it could be to be out in the woods with only Ash for company. ‘Those are obviously rabbit, being followed by a fox. A deer has muddied the trail, but they were there first.'

She waited with bated breath, fairly confident that she had it right. Somehow Ash's opinion mattered. He had been a patient teacher, unlike when she was growing up and pestering him. He had taken the time and the trouble to explain everything, even when she reminded him that he had reluctantly taught her before.

‘Very good. Better than good.' He knelt down beside her, his face wreathed in a genuine smile. Her heart turned over and she wondered how she thought she could do without his smile. ‘I'd anticipated it would take several afternoons of intensive work before you'd be able to tell them apart. The fox is particularly unclear.'

‘I'm a quick learner. I always was. I simply had forgotten the finer details until you reminded me.' She passed a hand over her eyes. ‘How I could have mistaken a moose hoof for a deer is beyond me. You have been very patient, Ash. I can see why Rurik enjoys his lessons with you.'

‘You forgetting? I thought you remembered everything.'

Kara looped a strand of hair behind her ear. If she leant forward, it would be easy to brush Ash's lips. One little taste. But one taste could destroy their growing friendship. ‘Obviously not.'

‘I won't tell anyone.'

Kara rocked back on her heels and pressed her hands into her thighs. It was far harder than she thought to fight against this growing heat inside.

‘Ash,' she whispered.

He reached out and smoothed a strand of hair from her forehead, straightening her head kerchief as he did so. ‘It is easier to see if the hair isn't in your eyes. Concentrate and see if you can identify any more.'

His voice sounded strained and husky to her ears.

She knew then that she needed to make the first move. Now. Always before she had waited for him to act, but now she had to make the first move. For both their sakes. He was right about that the other night. This had to be a break from the past.

She looped her arm about his neck and pulled his face to hers. She brushed her lips against his, tasting their faint coolness which quickly gave way to a pulsating warmth. She wanted to linger and delve deeper, but...

She drew back, waiting for him to make the next move, to show her that the kiss was welcome. He watched her intently, much as a cat might watch a mouse hole. Waiting, but not moving.

Her breath caught in her throat. Silence filled her ears. Had she left it too long? Had his desire for her stopped?

‘To say thank you for teaching me and all that you have done for Rurik.' She tried to keep her voice light, but she knew her cheeks burnt. She'd made a mistake with the kiss. She'd risked everything on an impulse and had lost. Her mouth tasted of bitter salt.

‘No thanks is necessary, I assure you. My pleasure.' His voice held a faint rasp and his fingers flexed into a fist and released as if he were keeping a tight rein on his body.

‘But I wanted to.' She drew a deep breath. She had to try once more. ‘I want to kiss you again...if you are willing. Out here where it is just us.'

His intake of breath was sharp and sure. ‘Don't say things like that unless you mean them. Once we start, there is no going back, Kara. I'm not made of stone.'

She cupped his face between her hands. The soft bristles of his unshaven chin tickled her fingertips and sent little flutters through her body, teasing her and awakening a fire deep within her belly. His eyes became heavily lidded with passion. A sense of power surged through her. ‘I mean it.'

This time, rather than brushing his lips, she flicked out her tongue, running it along the outline of his mouth and lingering on the soft curve of his bottom lip. She caught it between her teeth and nibbled.

His arms came around her and roamed all over her back before crushing her to him. Her soft curves met his hard planes and his arousal pressed into her, leaving her in no doubt of his desire for her.

She knew she wanted much more and she was tired of waiting. Going back to the hall with all its people milling about and waiting until dark would take far too long. Even though it was autumn and a distinct chill hung in the air, she knew she wanted to experience it.

All of her hesitation vanished in the security of his arms. His mouth opened to her and she tasted the sweetness of him. Their tongues met and tangled, retreated and advanced.

He lifted his head. His ragged breath fanned her cheek. ‘We must stop.'

‘Why?'

‘This place...it is not what I'd want for you, for us, for the first time since my return.' He put his hands on her shoulders and looked down at her, his face utterly serious. ‘If this continues, I will lose whatever small amount of self-control I have with you.'

She laughed softly. A small thrill rippled through her. He wasn't tired of waiting. He was trying to go at her pace. Seven years ago, she'd been forced to go at his. But now they could move together. ‘Ash, I am tired of waiting. My dreams have become unbearable. Help me make them real.'

‘Dreams? You have dreamt of me. They cannot be half as vivid as my dreams of you.'

‘You have no idea.'

‘I used not to be able to sleep because of my memories of the shipwreck, and the men I'd killed, but lately I can't sleep because of you and what I want to do with you.' He cupped her cheeks between his palms. ‘A soft bed can do wonders, Kara. Out here is hard ground and cold air. Uncomfortable at the best of times.'

Her stomach clenched. If they waited and went back to the hall, something would stop them. She wanted to do this now before she lost her nerve. ‘I thought you disliked sleeping in rooms.'

‘Did I say anything about sleeping?' He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He looked down at her face and sighed, putting her from him. ‘This is wrong. I'm sorry, Kara, but it is.'

‘Wrong?' she whispered.

‘Before we make love, you need to know what I went through,' he said slowly as if coming to a decision. ‘I want you to know before...so you don't feel bound to me. You need to know everything or our marriage will still be false. I see that now as clearly as I see your face.'

Kara's breath caught. Ash wanting to share was far more important than their joining. He had said that he might not ever feel comfortable sharing his past.

‘If you like,' she said cautiously. ‘I'll listen with a sympathetic ear. I want to know everything about you.'

‘I haven't been able to sleep inside since I was trapped on the ship after the lightning struck. A good captain would have gone down with his ship, but something within me fought to live.'

‘You were asleep when the lightning struck?'

‘The ship turned over and I was trapped for a lifetime.' Slowly Ash began to recount the story of his survival, including how he'd used the dead bodies of his friends as a shield to get out of the dungeon alive. Kara listened with growing horror at what he'd been through and respect for his survival. He spoke about the men he'd killed and when, leaving nothing out.

* * *

‘There, you know everything—the bad and the ugly.' He started to turn away. ‘We can go back to the hall now. When you make your decision, you can let me know.'

‘I've made it.' She leant forward, grabbed his arm before kissing him on the mouth. ‘We stay here. No more secrets between us. If anything, your story makes me admire you more. You went through all that and you remained determined not to give up or give in. I've seen you with Rurik and your men. What you went through didn't destroy you, Ash. It made you.'

His eyes darkened. ‘If that is what you want.'

She undid her cloak and spread it out on the narrow strip of grass, sure of herself. She gestured about the hushed forest glade. ‘We have the rest of our lives for a soft bed, but right now, we have all this beauty and solitude. But if you are unwilling, I'm willing to give you time.'

His rich laugh rang out as he threw an arm about her. ‘If you knew how hard it has been for me, particularly in the past few days. I promised you time and I gave it, but I never said it would be easy on me.'

‘On either of us,' she confessed to her cloak.

‘It's good to know. I worried.' His hand traced a line the length of her back, sending a warm pulse throughout her, enveloping her in its heat. And his touch was better than any dream.

She spun around and he grabbed her hands, holding them above her head. She glimpsed the vulnerability in his eyes.

‘Would you have taken me out today if I'd asked?'

‘I wanted to confess my deeds. You were right—you needed to know,' he murmured against her mouth. ‘It couldn't hang between us and I wanted it to be out here. I was certain you'd turn from me. All I had was one slender hope, but it was enough.'

‘You had hope.'

‘Without hope, I'd never have survived. Somewhere deep within me, I wanted to see your face again and feel your skin against mine.' His lips captured hers, slowly moving across her face, raining kisses on her eyes, cheekbones and nose, making a memory.

With each touch, Kara realised her dreams had been a pale copy of the real thing. She moved to touch him, but he shook his head.

‘Patience,' he murmured, capturing her hands. ‘I intend to enjoy this. You have led me on a merry dance, Kara. It is time you knew a bit of pleasurable suffering.'