Harvest of Gold (15 page)

The knowledge did not soften his heart toward Nehemiah. Since his wedding day he had harbored a dislike for his wife’s cousin. The reason for his initial animosity no longer existed, for he felt happy with Sarah. His suspicion that Nehemiah had engineered the wedding as a means of elevating himself in the court had turned out to be false. And yet Darius could not shake his antagonism toward the cupbearer. It made no sense, even to him. Nehemiah had been a close friend of his parents; moreover, he was kin to his wife. She loved and respected him with a devotion that grated on Darius’s nerves. He wondered if he might be jealous and dismissed the thought. He? Jealous of his wife’s affections toward another man? A ludicrous thought.

He pushed the matter aside, preferring to forget about the cupbearer as long as possible, and sent a servant to fetch Vidarna. “Has the physician examined Lady Sarah?”

“Yes my lord. He waited for over an hour to give you his report. He could not linger as another patient was expecting him.”

“Ah. I am sorry to have missed him. I wished to know what he made of Sarah’s condition.”

“He said he would be back this week to discuss it with you, my lord. He did not seem overly concerned. I am sure it’s nothing serious.”

Darius never met with the physician. To his astonishment, Nehemiah managed to procure the myriad of provisions necessary for the trip to Jerusalem before the week’s end. Darius had never known such a complex undertaking to be organized so quickly. Yet the cupbearer’s preparations remained meticulous in every detail. Darius could find no fault in his arrangements. In order to be ready to leave with Nehemiah, Darius found himself busy from morning till dusk, missing the physician on several occasions.

Sarah assured him that the physician seemed satisfied that she suffered from no serious malady. She appeared better to him, her skin less pale, the bouts of nausea decreasing with each day, though in spite of her reassurances, he suspected that they had not altogether abated.

To his surprise, his wife did not bring up the topic of Jerusalem again. He had half expected her to badger him from one hour to the next. Her silence caused him more discomfort than if she had nagged him. He could have dismissed the carping of a pestering wife; he found it harder to dismiss the sweet silence of a sad wife.

The idea of leaving her for a whole year left a bad taste in his mouth. If he were honest, he missed her after three days of absence. Her conversation, her humor, her tenderness had enriched his life so much that when he was without them, he felt bereft. No one stood up to him the way this little woman did. She had never shown him the slightest fear. She seemed unimpressed by his rank or riches or looks. Could he really bear to be separated from her for twelve long months?

How dangerous was this journey? Because they would travel along the royal highways, with a large convoy, and accompanied by a military escort, he felt that the months on the road would offer relative safety. Even a strong gang of thieves would think better than to attempt attacking such a cavalcade. Once in Jerusalem, she would remain under his watchful care as well as Nehemiah’s. He could assign one of his men to protect her day and night. If he did not take her to Syria with him, she would not be thrown into the path of unnecessary danger.

The more he thought on it, the more convinced he became that bringing her was not the act of an irresponsible husband. He knew how desperately she desired to see the city of her fathers and to worship in their Temple. She would glow as brightly as one of Persepolis’s famed lamps if he told her that he planned to take her with him. Besides, she would be amenable to his every whim for months. He chuckled. Well, days, anyway.

Nehemiah had set the date of their departure three days hence. If he wanted to include Sarah he had better tell her right away; she had little time to prepare for such a long absence from home.

“I have thought upon your request, and have decided to take you with me to Jerusalem.”

Sarah froze, the piece of rag in her hand, which she had been holding just beyond reach of Anousya forgotten. The puppy barked. With an absent air, she surrendered the rag and sprang from the couch. “I can come?”

“Yes.”

It was one of the few times Darius had seen her lost for words. He felt a tremor of satisfaction go through him.

An odd emotion crossed her face. It wasn’t happiness. More like an inner struggle, he would have guessed. Before he could examine the source of that inexplicable reaction, her expression changed. Delight lit up her eyes as she ran to him and threw her arms about him.

“Thank you! Thank you!”

“You will be assigned a guard at all times. I don’t want you venturing anywhere without him. Do you promise?”

“I’ll take two guards if you wish. I’ll even take Mardonius, though he never bathes and smells like the rump of a dead bear.”

Darius laughed. “When he was a boy, his father died of a fierce chill after a bath. His childish brain connected the two events and he has since avoided bathing as much as possible.”

Sarah took his hand and drew him down to sit next to her on the couch. “When do we leave?”

“In three days.”

She squeaked. “You jest! Even Nehemiah couldn’t pull that off.”

“He has. Having second thoughts?”

To his surprise she reddened and looked away. “Darius, I …”

“What is it?” Again he caught that odd expression on her face, as if she felt conscience-stricken. “Sarah?”

She waved a hand before her. “Don’t mind me. I can be ready. May I bring Pari? I thought the two of us would travel in one of the carts. I would rather avoid the back of a horse on such a long journey, if it’s all right.”

“That’s a wise decision.”

An hour later, Darius left his wife with a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. He sensed there was something wrong—that she held something back. He chided himself for his ridiculous misgivings. But the nagging feeling would not leave.

Pari clapped when she heard the news of their upcoming travel.

Sarah gave a wan smile. “Are you certain that you wish to come? We are not travelling to palaces and mansions, but to a broken-down city. The food will be simple and the conditions primitive. I would understand if you chose to stay.”

“And be parted from you for a whole year, especially now when you need me most? I think not. Besides, you’ve been reading King David’s poetry to me for months, and now I will have an opportunity to visit his city.”

“There might not be much worth seeing. Jerusalem has suffered war and neglect.”

“No matter. I am going.”

Sarah was relieved to hear of Pari’s determination to accompany her. The imminence of their departure had loosed a terrible anxiety in her. Had she lost her mind? In spite of the physician’s assurance, she worried that she might jeopardize her baby’s health. She knew nothing about pregnancy. Not having grown up amongst women, she had not gleaned the wisdom common to most women her age. Having a friend like Pari as her companion would prove an enormous comfort.

She had almost blurted the news out to Darius after he had asked her to come. Guilt had overwhelmed her. He deserved to know that he was about to become a father. He deserved to have a part in making the decision about this journey. Her silence robbed him of that crucial choice. She recognized that she was wrong. She told herself that she had three days to reveal her secret. Perhaps if she told him just before leaving, he would be so pressed for time that he would be forced to take her.

She wondered if there were midwives in Jerusalem. Surely the women there didn’t give birth without help. But here in Susa she would have access to the best. Damaspia would no doubt send her personal midwife to see to her needs. Not in Judah.

She had no information about the timing of this assignment. For all she knew, Darius and she might have to turn around and return home within weeks of having arrived. By then she would be growing large with child. Could she stand four months of bumping along royal highways with her belly sticking out over her feet?

Then again, Darius would never stand for it. He would find somewhere safe for her to stay until her time came. If the king needed him, however, he would have to leave her side. What an irony that would be if, after traipsing behind him through half the length of the empire, she still ended up having the baby alone.

She would tell him, she decided. She would tell him as soon as he returned home. But by the time Darius came to her that evening, she had lost her nerve.

The day of their departure dawned hazy with dry heat. It was the middle of spring, but felt more like high summer. They gathered outside the west gate of the city. Sarah counted one hundred and three people including Darius’s military escort. Most were men. She recognized several of Nehemiah’s relatives and Jewish officials from Susa. Many others were hired servants. Horses, donkeys, and asses loaded up with men or gear made a noisy cavalcade. A large number of sturdy carts filled with food, tents, and other necessities lined up along the road, waiting to start. Most were covered and pulled by donkeys. Some smaller carts, fashioned from wood planks, only had high sides, covered on top with canvas and ropes.

Sarah searched frantically for Darius and spotted him near the head of the column, speaking to a man she did not recognize. There was no more time to vacillate. She had already left it too late. She needed to tell him now.

“My lord, may I speak to you?”

He turned to her, his manner distracted. “Not now, Sarah. Go to your cart with Pari.”

“But my lord …”

“Sarah, this is poor timing. I shall speak with you later.”

Half relieved and half panicking, Sarah walked down the column of travellers until she found the wide cart Darius had prepared for her and Pari. A large portion of the floor had been fitted with thick mattresses to shield them from the uneven road, and a removable stretch of canvas over the cart gave them respite from the elements. He had even installed thick curtains for privacy.

She climbed in with Pari’s help and sat with her knees up against her chest. If she told him after they started on the road, he would be furious. He would feel manipulated, and with good reason. Thanks to her many delays, however, she had run out of options. It was unreasonable to expect that he would be free to have an intimate conversation with her just before the start of the journey.

Nehemiah silenced the group and led them in prayer, asking God to take care of them, and to give them safe passage. And then with a ponderous gait as dignified as a royal barge embarking on a long quest, their convoy began its journey.

Sarah put her head on her knees and moaned. This did not bode well. Again, she determined that she would tell him as soon as he came to her that day. She would begin by asking his pardon and would even volunteer to go back, if he wished it.

The heat and the monotonous bump of the cart hour after hour added an extra layer of exhaustion to her ever-present, pregnancy-induced weariness. Since the spring sunlight had lingered late into the afternoon, the caravan had pushed past the first royal staging house. No doubt they would have to spend the night camped on the roadside, for they would be unable to make it to the next staging house before nightfall. Sarah stretched on the mattress, exhausted. Sleep overcame her with a heavy hand by early evening.