Hate Me Today (Save Me #3) (4 page)

Jason

I peel my shirt over my head and turn the water on in the tiny shower. I’m still livid over last night
's show and how drugged up Vanessa was. What the hell was she thinking? I can’t comprehend why someone would want to feel like that.

I step under the stream of hot water after I take my jeans off and lay them on the counter. The hot water pulses against my tense muscles, helping to relieve some of the stress built up in them.

Someone bangs on the door a few minutes later and when I yell out, asking what they want, Jack yells through the door that they are headed up the road to get something to eat.

Being alone on the bus doesn’t happen so when I slip out of the shower, instead of getting dried off and dressing in the bathroom, I only wrap a towel around my waist. I open the door and watch the steam billow out around me. The cool air hitting my skin causes me to break out in goose bumps.

“No, I won’t be back until next month. And no, before you ask, I won’t come back before then.” Vanessa sniffles from the front of the bus, obviously unaware that I’m standing here listening to her conversation.

“Yes, I understand that I knew I could possibly need more than one when I had this done but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it. Christ Nicole, it scares the hell out of me. What do you expect?”

I stand as still as I can while I listen to the one sided conversation playing out. I might despise the girl but I know what she’s been through is pretty rough, so I feel a little bad for her even though I don’t know what she’s talking about.

Vanessa drops the phone to the table and buries her face into her hands.
She lets out a stream of expletives that would put a sailor to shame.

“Tell me how you really feel,” I tease. She’s upset, even though I don’t like her that doesn’t make me heartless. I’m almost positive the call was about her health, so she’s probably scared.

Her head pops up quickly but her eyes don’t make it past my abs, moving along the ridges in my muscles.

“Hey,” I say, grabbing her attention
. I point to my face. “My eyes are up here. Don’t objectify me.”

The
look in her eyes makes her face look like she hasn’t slept in weeks. It’s not the same girl I was arguing with earlier. The energy she had when her ass was swinging around the kitchen is gone. The fight and determination in her eyes when I challenged her has fizzled out. The feisty chick she was before my shower I can handle; this helpless one I can’t.

“Fuck off,” she whispers, turning her head to stare blankly out the window.

“What was that call about?”

“None of your business. If it was for you, I would have told them to call you, or I would have been nice and given you the phone. You know what nice is don’t you
, Jason? You’re nice to the groupies that give it up.”

“Vanessa, what was the fucking call about?”

Vanessa’s head snaps back to mine, a little of the fight back in her eyes. Standing, she advances on me until we’re toe to toe, causing her to have to tilt her head back to see my face. Her chest rises and falls quickly, causing her tank top to rub against my still wet chest.

“None of your fucking concern!”

My eyes drop, skimming over her until I hit the crease of her elbow. The skin is covered in a small bruise. I grab her arm, pulling it closer so I can find what I’m looking for. Sure enough, even though she struggles to pull out of my grip, I find it. In the center of the bruise is a needle mark. I lose control, my mind tracking back to what happened with Derek, Thirty Ought Six’s cocaine addicted guitar player.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!” I roar. “I knew something was off last night. I knew it! What the fuck was it
, Vanessa? Meth? Heroin? I’m not fucking doing this shit again!”

Her eyes widen,
her jaw drops and she attempts to throw a punch. Grabbing her wrist before it hits my face, I spin her around, shove her against the wall and pin both arms between us. Her cheek sits flush against the wall by the bunks while she struggles against me, screaming about how much of an idiot I am.

“I’m not fucking stupid, Vanessa. I know what to look for.”

“You don’t know shit, asshole.”

“No?” I bite out. “What the fuck was that shit show you put on last night. You were high as hell and you had the nerve to go on stage like that!”

She stops fighting me, sagging against the wall. “It’s not what you think.”

“You have about five seconds to start talking before I call Abby, tell her everything and walk away from this tour.”

“It doesn’t concern you, Jason. I just have to plan better next time.”

“Five!” I start counting.

“IT. DOESN’T. MATTER!” she screeches.

“Four!”

“Fuck you, you bastard!”

“Three!”

“For Christ's sake! It was Benadryl. Fuck you, let me go!”

“Don’t you fucking lie to me. I’m not dealing with another drug addict again!” I don’t let her go. In fact, I push closer to her, watching her face drop and eyes begin to glisten with tears. Dropping my mouth down beside her ear, I whisper, “
Tell me why you have track marks and what that call was about.”

Caving, she finally tells me but it’s nowhere near what I expected.

“The needle mark isn’t from drugs. It’s from a blood transfusion I needed yesterday. I had an allergic reaction so they doped me up on Benadryl. That’s why I was off last night. I’m not doing drugs, you idiot.”

“What was the call? Why did it get you so upset?”

She hesitates so I repeat myself.

“They ran more tests on the blood they drew yesterday and think my body is rejecting my transplant so I have to go back for a bunch of shit.”

A sob breaks free from her chest, sagging against me. I slide down the wall behind me until we’re on the floor. I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing. I just wrap my arms around her and try to calm her down.

At this moment I can’t tell her I hate her, I can’t even feel it, I know it’s still there though. However right now, all I see, all I hear, is Abby. We sat the exact same way the day she found out Alex was dying.

I hear the bus door open and the guys come up the stairs. They see us, I see the question in their eyes but I shake my head and they turn around and walk out again. Vanessa is still crying and doesn’t even notice they were here.

She burrows her face into my bare chest until she finally calms down. She must realize that it’s me holding her, and that I’m mostly naked, because suddenly she jerks away from me, trying to get away from me.

“I’m fine. I’m not doing drugs so you can quit worrying,” she mutters as she stands up and walks away.

Grabbing the towel so it doesn’t fall off my waist, I push off the floor, wondering what the hell just came over me to make me act like I actually care.

Vanessa

The screaming from the crowd assaults my ears as I slow down, the ending of the song ringing through the stadium.

“What did I do to make you hate me today?”

My breathing is labored, my entire body is covered in sweat but the smile won’t leave my face. The response to the new song is overwhelming even though it’s more rock than country. When I turn, Jason’s eyes are trained on me, glaring at me because he knows the song was written about him.

I lean back against
Devon’s platform, trying to catch my breath from jumping around to the beat.

I pull the mic back to my mouth, smiling at Jason while I talk. “So I learned something new the other day. One of our fine, fine men up here on the stage right now is one hell of a singer. He decided to show off on the bus the other day and now I’m going to call him out on it. I was thinking we could pull a few covers each tonight and switch back and forth. Who wants a show?”

I swear every single person makes as much noise as they can, amazing me with their enthusiasm. Jason shakes his head adamantly at me, telling me to go fuck myself. We finally get him to cave and he walks up to me after we take a minute to add to the set list and make sure everyone knows what to play. Thankfully, Jack and Devon were in on the whole thing and the entire crew knew there might be something going down so the only person I have to worry about pissing off is Jason. No big deal, right?

“You’ll pay for this, Princess.”

I shrug with a cocky little smile, “Can’t get much worse than it already is.”

I swear he says something about not betting on that but I can’t hear him clearly over the crowd and the opening notes to
"Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects. I can’t help but laugh. I guess paybacks a bitch for writing a song about him, right?

~*~*~*~

“That. Was. Awesome! Even if it was with you.” I can’t break the cheesy smile on my face as I climb the stairs to the bus and flop back on the couch, staring up at Jason. “You know we’re doing that at every show now.”

“Bullshit. You got your way tonight but call me out again and I’ll kick your ass. I only signed on as your bassist, nowhere in my contract does it say anything about having to sing. So you can kiss my ass.”

“I bet I could call Abby right now and if she knew the response we just got, she’d tell you to do it too.”

“Too late,” Mandi laughs as she clicks through her phone. “You guys are trending and the label’s already noticed. It’s happening again whether you like it or not.”

Jason growls and stomps off down the stairs, probably disappearing to a bar as usual. That actually doesn’t sound like a bad idea, I haven’t been out since we started the tour and since we’re staying the night in a hotel tonight, what better time could there be?

Mandi hands me my room key. “I’m headed over. You need anything before I go?”

“I don’t think so. I’ll be over in a bit.”

I shower as fast I can and get dressed, walking to the closest bar and I know it probably wasn’t a good idea when I walk through the door and Jason’s parked at the bar. I sit down at the opposite end, pulling out my ID and ordering an Alabama Slammer.

Before I know it I’m three drinks in and know I’m going to end up doing something I shouldn’t.

Jason

“Get off this bar. Now,” I bite out.

This spoiled rotten teen beat princess is pissing me off big time tonight. I’m not even sure she is old enough to drink but she followed me in here like a lost fucking puppy. I honestly didn’t care at first. I’m a pro at blocking people out when I’m drinking and I was doing a damn good job until she climbed her drunk perfect ass onto the bar and started shaking it like a stripper in my face.

That is something I can’t ignore. I’m all for having a chick's ass in my face but this scene here will raise more issues than I care to deal with. She followed me which makes her my fucking issue.

This shit was so much easier when I was touring with Abby.

Vanessa bends so her face is level with mine, almost upside down with her ass in the air. The corners of her mouth quirk up and she lets loose a drunken giggle.

“I’m king of the world
, motherfucker. I ain’t never comin’ down.”

Without even thinking I reach up and flick her between the eyes. She jerks back up, her hair flying everywhere and glares at me.

“What the fuck was that for?” she slurs.

“Act like a big girl and get off the fucking bar, Vanessa. I won’t say it again.”

She laughs in my face and throws her arms in the air, her body moving to the beat of the music, and ignores my request that she stop making a scene.

When some guy reaches around me to grab her ass I realize I can’t take it anymore. My fingers lace through his greasy hair and I bounce his face off the bar before turning back toward Vanessa. I’m too drunk for this shit. Her eyes widen as she watches my movements.

I stand, pull her so she’s bent over and ram my shoulder into her stomach, draping her over my six foot three frame. My hands grip the back of her thighs as she yells about putting her down until she realizes that her face is near my ass.

“Oh look, I finally get to talk face to face with you.” Her hand smacks down against my ass cheek as she continues talking to it.

Shaking my head, I continue walking toward the empty bus until her talking to my ass gets to be too much for me. I stop about twenty feet from where we’re headed and swing her around to my other shoulder so her face is level with my dick instead.

“If you’re going to flap your gums why don’t you do something useful and blow me.”

“You’re disgusting you know that!” she screeches.

“Yeah, I’ve heard worse from better people.”

“You were so nice to me the other day. Well, after thinking I was drugging myself up. Now you hate me again and I don’t even know why. So why the hell would I even think about blowing you, you dick.”

She’s right. She doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling her either, but I also didn’t stop hating her earlier. Let’s just call it a moment of weakness where my black heart got the better of me. She’s a big fucking girl and if she hasn’t figured it out by now then I’m not going to make it any easier on her. So instead of telling her why
, I just keep walking. Unfortunately, it’s too late before I realize that we’re the only ones on the bus, because I forgot we were booked into a fucking hotel.

“Didn’t you know,
Princess, hate sex is the best?”

“No, actually I don’t. Why don’t you teach me? Turn my week around.”

I stand in the middle of the bus with her still over my shoulder, biting back a groan as her hands slide up my thighs and she reaches for my zipper. I have to stop her even if my body protests against it. As much as I love sex, anger filled sex at that, it won’t help this situation. It’s going to make working with her suck even more.

I rush to the couch and drop her as fast as I can. “You’re drunk.”

“Since when does that stop you from fucking a groupie?” She flips her hair out of her eyes as she stands to get into my face and it takes everything in my not to shove her to her knees and use her hair as a fucking handle.

I stare down at her and try to control my breathing as her tits rub against my chest.

“You don’t know what you’re asking for. We need to sober you up before someone finds out that you were this drunk in the first place. Although, since your drunk ass wanted to be a stripper tonight I’m sure the stupid acts that followed will be in the tabloids tomorrow and it won’t matter.”

I force the words out of my mouth even though all I can think about
is driving myself into her; punishing her until she screams out in ecstasy. Shit, I’m drunk. I shouldn’t be thinking about my dick inside her right now. Fucking her would be wrong, right? I try to reason with myself because this shit could fuck up my career.

“Fuck
'em,” she slurs. “I’m a big girl.”

“Just because you have tits and a twat doesn’t give you the right to act like this,” I roar.

She ignores what I say and presses herself further into me. Her arms wind around my neck as she tries to pull me closer. I strain back so she grazes her teeth over my neck instead of connecting with my mouth.

“Come on. You said yourself that hate sex is the best,”
she whines.

I hate whining.

I push her away from me and drag her down hall toward the shower. “You’re too fucking drunk for your own good.” And I’m too drunk for
my
own.

I crank on the cold water in the shower and push her under the spray fully clothed. She shrieks, trying to push her way out by me but I’m not having any of that. She is going to sober up one way or another.

“You son of a bitch, let me out!” she cries, her teeth chattering together but I don’t move. “Fine, if I have to be in here so do you!”

“Fuck
no I don't!”

I try to hold myself out of the way of the water but for such a small bitch she has a lot of pull when she is drunk. Her hands grab my shirt and she yanks me into the tiny stall with her. The cold water hitting me pisses me off more than I already was.

“What the fuck is your problem with me!” she screams.

I box her in with my arms, crowding her space. Not that it’s hard considering the fact that the shower is barely big enough for one person let alone two. My face is close enough that I know she can feel my breath as I yell at her.

“You are a spoiled rotten, good for nothing, bitch! What the hell Abby ever saw in you is beyond me!”

I watch the light in her eyes dim for a second before coming back full force. My gaze drops to her mouth which is still chattering and turning slightly blue. She must be cold because I am fucking freezing.

Her hand connects with my face with a wet crack and she tries to push me away and get out of the shower.

I pull her back and push her against the wall, holding her there with my body. “Never. Fucking. Hit. Me.” I growl.

“What the hell are you gonna do about it?” She smacks her hands off my chest and I growl before grabbing the back of her neck and slamming my mouth against hers.

She gasps from the sudden impact and I take t
he opportunity to invade her mouth with my tongue. It’s not slow or sweet. It’s hard and fast. Tongues and teeth clash as I tangle my hands in her wet hair. I pull back on her hair roughly to get better access as I assault her mouth and untangle one of my hands to crank the hot water on so I’m not so cold.

Fuck it. I give in to everything that I had been trying to avoid since I walked out of that bar tonight. She wants hate sex. I’m going to give the bitch hate sex.

My cock has been rock hard since we started to talk about this shit anyway. I might hate her. I might tell myself that I don’t like what she looks like, but my dick seems to think otherwise.

Her hands drop to my belt and as soon as she gets my pants undone I pull her hands away, pinning them behind her back, holding them there with one hand as I pull her jeans down her thighs with the other.

“No touching. Turn the fuck around, bend the hell over and put your head between your goddamn legs. I want your back flat against the wall.”

I step out of the shower just long enough to drag on a condom and give her enough room to do as I say. Her fingers grip her ankles and when I look at her face I can see that she’s going to want more out of this than I do. I slap my hand across her wet ass and tell myself that everything will be
OK. I’ll do something to piss her off and get her back to hating me soon enough.

She moans as my hand hits again and before she even has time to breathe I slam into her. She screams out as my hips hit her ass over and over, my fingers digging into her skin, pulling her toward me every time I pull away.

It’s not long until she’s screaming out my name and her knees are buckling as she tightens like a vice around me. I bite out a few choice words about hating her. Telling her that the only thing she’s good for is a warm, wet hole for my dick and shaking her ass for the crowd.

I punch my fist against the wall of the shower as I come and as soon as I get my legs to work, I pull out of her, drop the condom in the trash and leave to find dry clothes.

I don’t wait for her to get her bearings. I don’t care if she regrets what just happened. She knew what she was asking for and she got it.

Son of a fucking bitch! I punch the wall again as everything that just happens hits me. I just let her get what she wanted. She pushed and pushed until I gave the hell in and now my rash decisions are going to fuck with me. I’m weak and she knows it and that’s going to fucking kill me.