Haunting Whispers (18 page)

A strange sensation crept over her. Was Audrey reading her, knowing she had trouble absorbing all this? Rae based her knowledge of the world mostly on facts and tangibles. “Can you read everybody’s mind?”

Audrey smiled and shook her head. “That’s another common misconception. I’m not a mind reader. I sense things from people’s energy, an object, or even a picture. It’s usually necessary that the person opens the door or invites me to read them fully. Otherwise, I read their surface energy—are they a nice person, is it safe to be with them, generic things.”

“So you don’t know what I’m thinking right now?”

“You seem to be one of the few people I can’t read very well. I’m not sure why.”

“Maybe because you like me too much.” Rae was fishing but couldn’t help wishing.

“My mother used to say that reading close friends and family was psychic cheating. Who knows, maybe it’s nature’s way of leveling the playing field. I don’t need to be psychic to see your apprehension and disbelief, maybe even confusion. That’s normal. I’m asking you to stretch your perception of reality.”

“I’ll say. How do you turn it off, or can you? I imagine it gets pretty exhausting.”

“It would be if I engaged everybody I passed on the street or met each day. I listen to music, hum, or cuddle my kitten. It soothes and distracts me from the bombardment of stimuli. I don’t own a television. The news is always negative and drains me. I don’t only see things, I also hear, smell, feel, and taste spiritually.”

Rae caught herself right before she shook her head in disbelief. When she didn’t understand something, she investigated and questioned until it came together in a coherent picture. However, the more Audrey talked the more conflicted she became. She’d handled cases where people were institutionalized for espousing such things as Audrey had. Rae desperately wanted to believe in her, because it had taken tremendous courage to expose herself so completely. Rae simply couldn’t embrace this notion of psychic ability. She was too realistic, too by the book—
too closed-minded
?

Audrey patted the sofa beside her. “Please sit down. You’re wearing a hole in my carpet. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Most people would find this difficult to grasp. It violates their preconceived notions of God versus the Devil, religion versus the occult, good versus evil. You’re having trouble too, aren’t you?”

“Forgive me, I’m thinking like a cop. It could take a while to wrap my head around it.”

“Ask your questions. It’s best to get them out.”

“That comment about the red dress and gold heels—was that one of your—I don’t even know what to call it. Did you really dream that?”

“Yes, I dreamed it, and I had no idea it was connected to your victim until later.”

Rae raked her hands through her hair in frustration. “See, that’s what I have trouble with, the whole it’s-connected-to-my-victim thing. What about the knife? Where did that little tidbit come from, another dream?”

“I had a momentary image when your victim touched me. I felt her pain, saw her dressed in those clothes, and flashed on the knife slicing through her flesh.”

“My mind tells me that’s not possible unless you were involved in the case. And I don’t want to believe you were.”

Audrey was obviously struggling to explain the reality of her situation. “Consider for a moment that I might be authentically psychic. Would you turn down my help if it led to a suspect in these cases?”

“I’d have no choice but to turn it down. They’d laugh me out of the office, not to mention the courtroom. Anything you told me as a result of your ability would be inadmissible and unquestionably discredited—and my reputation along with it. We deal in facts of law, Audrey, not psychic perceptions.”

“And the law isn’t about perceptions?”

“You know what I mean,” Rae said.

“Actually, I don’t. If I’m not mistaken, your job depends greatly on a cop’s intuition and ability to read people. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean you dismiss it.”

Rae thought about her conversation with Ken Whitt and acknowledged the heavy credence she’d given his insights into the case. None of them were based on facts. She’d specifically asked him to speculate, to give his opinion and gut instincts. “It’s not the same thing at all. We operate on valid hunches, not dreams and visions.” Rae regretted the comment the minute she said it. Audrey’s cobalt eyes darkened and her lips closed in a tight, decidedly unpleasant grimace.

“The sad part is you believe that. I obviously made a mistake by sharing this with you.”

The statement landed like a blow. Rae had done the one thing she wanted to avoid—lost Audrey’s confidence and trust. Why hadn’t she taken more time to think everything through before automatically reverting to the rational? “Don’t say that.”

“What else can I say? I expected the usual logical, information-gathering questions and that you’d have to process and formulate an opinion. Then, I even expected you to dive into the professional queries. But I prayed you’d be different, that you could see beyond the hypothetical arm’s length. Maybe I misjudged your capacity for compassion and understanding. Perhaps the woman I wanted to see isn’t the woman who actually exists.” Audrey rose from the sofa and headed toward the door. “I think you should go now.”

Rae hadn’t thought she could feel any worse. She’d disappointed Audrey on a profound level, and the result hurt her more than she could’ve imagined. It never occurred to her that she could betray someone instead of vice versa. The dish was bitter from either side. She didn’t believe Audrey and basically rejected her for admitting who she was. And the wound would have been even deeper if they’d been closer. Rae had essentially destroyed that possibility. “I’m sorry.” As the door shut behind her, Rae thought she heard a soft cry from the other side.

Audrey slumped to the floor as her hope that Rae would understand and accept her disappeared. For a moment she was back in college with her peers pointing and laughing at her, the rejection sharp and damaging. She tried to muffle the sorrow that rose in her throat but failed. The cry sounded like a tortured animal as it escaped her lips. When would she learn not to trust people? What made her think Rae Butler was different, special?

It was common to have philosophical and ideological differences, but they could also be grounds for disagreement and serious conflict. Now Rae probably thought Audrey was a crazy circus freak who should take her act back to the big top. Audrey would’ve had more luck revealing herself to the mayor. At least he didn’t cling to some antiquated idea of truth as only black and white or right and wrong. She had challenged the very foundation of Rae’s just-the-facts mentality and been rebuffed. What had she been thinking? She’d trusted a
cop
.

If Rae didn’t believe her, she wasn’t the person to help uncover the remaining mystery in her life. Once again she was on her own, struggling to understand something she didn’t even remember. Her instincts had brought her to Kramer for a reason, and it had to be connected to her forgotten past. Nothing else made sense. She would eventually unravel the convoluted threads and come up with the answer with or without help.

Audrey drew her knees to her chest, feeling alone and strangely uncomfortable. Looking around her little apartment, she wondered why it suddenly felt vast and unwelcoming. Cannonball nudged her legs, and when Audrey stretched out, the kitten nestled in her lap. The tiny creature licked her hands and seemed to be trying to console her. If only people were as nonjudgmental and accepting as animals, life would be much easier. She gently stroked the wiry hair on her kitten’s back. Had she seen the last of Rae Butler?

*

Arya bit the inside of his lip until he tasted blood. Strangers surrounded her all night. Those strange people from her past, touching her, talking, laughing—always touching. The annoying woman who delivered a pesky animal had again brought disruption. It burrowed into his soul and made him crave retribution. He wanted to punish them for their violations. Instead he was forced to watch without taking action. His rage always flared when he felt helpless. She needed him and he could do nothing.

And then the cop returned. She was becoming more of a problem with each visit. This time she’d tried to touch his beloved, but she had thwarted the advance. Good girl. If only he could’ve heard them, but the voices were muted.

The cop had upset or hurt her in some way. She sat crumpled on the floor like a wounded thing, and he couldn’t comfort her. At least maybe now she understood that she could trust only him. The list of those who deserved punishment grew longer. Soon his passion would demand that he seek revenge to quench his thirst or finally take possession of her…or both.

Rae stared at the blank page and tried to formulate a response to the final-exam essay question. Everyone else in the packed classroom hunched over their papers and worked furiously. For her the stark institutional gray walls closed in and blotted the information right out of her head. She looked at the clock, ten more minutes. The question wasn’t hard. She simply couldn’t put the answer together. Her mind wandered to her conversation with Audrey three days ago, the psychic connection, as she now referred to it. They’d had no contact since.

Rae felt like a narrow-minded bigot, unwilling to look beyond the veil of her own reality. She theoretically accepted life beyond our universe. To think otherwise was not only unenlightened but also egotistical. So why was she having trouble acknowledging Audrey’s abilities? Maybe she could only deal with the mystical in theory but not in her well-ordered life.

Cops and psychics didn’t mesh. Their approaches to solving crime, and to life in general, were too different. Police officers, skeptical by nature, questioned anything they couldn’t see or touch. Those who collaborated with seers were ridiculed and their careers suffered. She’d seen the disastrous results. No one ever took them seriously again, regardless of the case’s outcome.

Psychic ability was simply mumbo-jumbo, guesswork, and everybody guessed right occasionally. The last psychic who
assisted
on a case shotgunned such a massive amount of vague information that some of it hit the mark. The victims wanted details so desperately they only remembered the correct bits, and the media sensationalized the results. The leads he provided were anecdotal at best, never anything concrete. Rae wanted to believe Audrey was different and was willing to suspend her disbelief long enough to investigate further. If she didn’t, she’d never forgive herself. Audrey made her feel things she hadn’t thought possible, and she couldn’t walk away.

“Five minutes,” the instructor announced.

Rae returned her attention to the exam and scribbled a quick answer to the question. She wouldn’t say she’d done her best, but she’d done all she could. She either passed or she didn’t. Rae had a more difficult test now, understanding and accepting Audrey—warts and all.

On her way home, she called and left Audrey a message asking if she’d stop by on her way home from work. She at least owed her a face-to-face apology for her earlier behavior. Rae spent the afternoon researching psychics and clairsentients on the Internet. She might be mildly intolerant but she didn’t have to be completely uninformed. Most of the sites were advertisements or testimonials geared to solicit money—another unpleasant connection Rae associated with psychics—money grabbers who preyed on the weak. The searches didn’t help.

While Rae waited to hear from Audrey, she threw darts and reviewed the Whisperer details she’d pinned to her case board. She studied the pictures of each victim’s wounds and wondered if a forensics weapons expert could narrow down the type used to inflict the injuries. Rae added the task to her to-do list with a shiver of excitement. What if Audrey was right and the weapon had been a very specific knife? If they could identify the style of weapon, it could be her first solid lead.

How would she explain where the information came from? That’s where merging police work and the supernatural got murky. Maybe she didn’t have to say anything about Audrey’s vision. Rae always explored every detail in her cases, and narrowing down weapon type was certainly on the list. If she considered Audrey’s information like any other lead and verified it, the source wouldn’t be a problem. It wasn’t like this would be a recurring issue. Audrey wouldn’t be involved in the investigation any further.

Rae breathed a little easier. At least she knew a bit more of Audrey now. A circus upbringing wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, so why had she kept quiet? In Rae’s opinion a unique background made her more interesting. Perhaps she was concerned that others wouldn’t understand. People judged one another on money, power, and position or the lack thereof.

An idea Rae had considered before suddenly returned. What if Audrey’s silence had something to do with her assault? Maybe the missing link was her past and Audrey was protecting someone. Rae hated to stereotype, but circus folk were a rare breed, unusual, often foreign and transient. Every couple of years a modern-day band of gypsies swooped through town like a plague, burglarizing, robbing, and vanishing. It was a documented fact based on police statistics, not a generalization. She conceded gypsies and cirque performers weren’t the same. However, it did alter her suspect base. She was officially off Audrey’s assault, but she wasn’t a quitter. Something about the case bothered her—beyond her desire to play hero.

Rae hurled another dart swift and sure to the heart of the dartboard as a soft tap sounded at her door. The knock was almost inaudible, broadcasting Audrey’s uncertainty about being here. Hopefully, Rae could reassure her. She smiled and opened the door.