Having Nathan's Baby (16 page)

Emotion shimmered in
my eyes like a rising tide, obscuring my view.

“I’m ready to move to New York, live in the brownstone with you and raise this baby,” he said.
His hushed voice was urgent now. “I have no idea if that’s what you want, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I want to marry you, Chloe. I want have a whole house full of children.” He laughed at this, as though he was saying something nonsensical. “I don’t know how you’re going to be a full-time partner in your law firm and have a house full of children, but that’s what I want.”

“How will you
… where will you work?” I was overwhelmed by what he was saying; I decided to focus on the one practical thing I could get my head around. “You love what you do. How are you going to work if the band and the studio and everything else are in L.A.?”

“I’ll work it out,
” he said. He sounded steely sure. “I’m more mobile than you are. We both know that. And our families live around here. It makes sense. Even if it didn’t, I’d work it out somehow.”

I felt like I was listening to his voice from underwater
. I could hear the words but it all sounded … unreal. “This is what I want, Nathan, but I just … I don’t want you to give up your life for me, and then end up resenting me in years to come because-”

“
Chloe, you’re not hearing me,” he said. He clasped my face gently in his hands. “Can’t you see I’ve already moved here for you? This farmhouse and the brownstone … I kept moving myself here piece by piece, even before you were pregnant with our son. I realized recently that in my head, home is where you are. All these years when I’ve been touring and living out of a case, I always came back to you when I needed to recharge my batteries. L.A. was never my home.” He kissed me gently. Humor creased his eyes. “It’s just … it took your getting pregnant for me to realize it.”

He paused again. “You get that I just asked me to marry you, right?” He looked like he was preparing himself for a physical blow. “You’re pretending not to notice that.”

I bit my lower lip. It was quivering so much I could feel the tremor through my teeth. The feeling of joy was so intense it was like fireworks exploding inside my head. I wanted to cry out in release. How could I have wanted something so badly all this time without realizing what it was?

“Will you?”
My face in his hands, his eyes were molten with emotion. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” The words left
my on the last breath I could muster. My throat tightened into a hard knot immediately afterwards.

He held
me to him. I buried my face into his lean neck, burrowing deep under his jacket with my arms. I felt one of his hands stroke across my belly. The joy was soothed by a sense of tenderness. “I love you,” I breathed against his skin, repeating the words like a mantra. “I love you, I love you.”

I
felt his smile against my cheek. “I love you, too, Chloe Stewart.”

Epilogue

I stood back and surveyed my handiwork. The plaque on the door read, ‘Chloe Black, Attorney at Law, Black & Associates, Burlington, VT.’.  Maybe one day there would be another name up there. Maybe one day one of my children would be up there on that plaque. Right now, it was just me and two junior associates, because that was all I could afford on my own dime. My brow furrowed; it would have been easier to accept Nathan’s offer of help, and while I was happy to see him lavish his financial attention on our three children, I was determined to make the law practice thrive on my own. I just hoped I wasn’t putting pride before a fall…

A pair of strong
arms slid around my waist, dragging the cotton sundress against my skin. Nathan. I smiled and laid my head back in the crook of his shoulder. His lips touched my cheek lightly, causing a ripple of sensation down my side.

“Looks good,” he said.
There was a low thread of pride in his voice.

“When did you get back?”
I asked him.

“Right now.”

I turned. My eyes took in the sight of him anew; the dark smile and the jaw that badly needed shaving. I kissed him. “You were away too long this time,” I said. “Three weeks is too much. I think we should say seven days, tops, from now on.”

“Now that Rosalind is having
her third, and the rest of the guys are all busy with screaming toddlers of their own, I don’t think that’ll be an issue.” He lifted a hand and traced the carved letters on the plaque. “It’s been a long road, right?” His eyes moved to mine. “Hard work.”

My
smile was tremulous. It had been very hard work, and in so many ways. The last five years raced through my mind like a movie on fast-forward: the birth of little Nate, and then Thomas, and finally our baby Virginia; the exhausting nights, and days spent in meetings just trying to keep my eyelids from closing; Nathan’s frequent absences with the band; the tears and the irrational jealousies; the passionate making-up; the little compromises, adjustments, and disappointments … and above all, the crazy, jumbled and perfect joy at the base of it all.

“But worth it,” was all
I said. My voice shook with gravity. I was feeling a little emotional today. It wasn’t often I opened my own law firm, and back here in Vermont to boot, where we wanted to raise our children.

“Show me around,
” he said.

I
took him up the steps of the townhouse, located on Main Street, across from the market where I’d announced my first pregnancy to the world so long ago. The glass, double-doors were open already, letting in the late spring sunshine. The river and the old bridge were framed in the windows. The reception and adjoining offices, recently painted and furnished with sleek wooden desks, looked fresh and professional. I was proud of every inch of this place; it was precisely the way I’d wanted it. My receptionist and the two associates would be starting on Monday. As I looked around, I had a tremulous feeling the hard work was still to come.

Nathan reminded
me of his presence by taking my hand and pulling my in the direction of the largest office. As a full partner now for two years at a reputable firm in the city, I had been able to transfer a couple of clients here to my new outfit, with Hilary’s blessing. My office carried the bearing of that responsibility, and my senior status. I gauged my husband’s expression.

“It’s nice,
” he said.

“Do you think it’s too big? I could probably have given this to the two associates and taken the smaller room for
myself.”

“You need some
where to let your clients relax.” He took a seat on the stately leather sofa. “They’ll expect to see this. The associates won’t be hosting clients back there.”

I
nodded. Nathan’s input had been appreciated throughout the process; while I made my own decisions, and he respected them, I knew he had my back. If I was veering off on the wrong course, he never failed to steer me back, even if I occasionally berated him for it. With that in mind, I grinned and approached him. I lifted the light skirt on my dress and slid on to his firm lap.

His breath came out in a slow, satisfied stream. “You want to christen the office?”

I laughed. “I’m not sure I could keep a straight face with clients if I had to picture us having sex on this sofa every time.”

“So you’re too important for sofa sex now that you own your own law firm?”
he accused.

“Something like that.”
I kissed him, reveling in the feel of his hands smoothing my hips against his. I’d missed this over the last few weeks, and I could feel he had, too.

“What time do we have to pick up the kids?” he murmured in
my ear.

“Around two.”

“We’ve got fifteen minutes.” He pulled back, his eyes pitch-black on me. “I know that ticking clock has gotten us into trouble before-”

“Three pregnancies,”
I clarified, for my own benefit more than his. “I’m not taking a chance now, not when I just opened this place-”

“But I thought of that.”

He stood, carrying me with him and exiting the office. He kicked open a door leading to a supplies closet. After he’d shut the door behind them and darkness had enveloped them, he deposited me carefully on a spare desk. “Just like old times,” he said. He ran his hands up my thighs, easing my lower body against his. Then he placed what felt unmistakably like a condom packet in my hand. “In every way except one...”

The End