Hawk: (6 page)

“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked quietly, unable to keep his fingers out of her hair.

“Um,” she replied. “N-nothing.”

“Will you come to Mark and Abby’s barbecue?”

Tildy looked confused for a moment, as though she’d expected him to say something else. “Barbecue?” she repeated.

“Chili cook-off,” he murmured, leaning in closer. He angled h
is mouth just inches from hers.

Tildy simply stared at his mouth
, as though she were mesmerized. “Yes,” she whispered, and Hawk didn’t know for certain what it was that she was agreeing to. He hoped it was everything. He’d settle for a kiss and an opportunity to see her again.

He pressed his mouth
against hers.

Surprisingly, Tildy was
not
a great kisser. This perplexed him, because any woman as cute as Tildy should be a fabulous kisser. Then again high school and college boys didn’t exactly make for the best lovers. Hawk wondered if he’d be her first
real
man, and he’d be willing to bet his Harley that he would. He might be a bit of a player, but he would in no way be the kind of “Wham, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am” that Tildy was used to.

She stood up on her tiptoes, her hands grasping at his arms as she pulled him in closer. Ha
wk wanted to chuckle. What she lacked in experience, she definitely made up for with enthusiasm. He set her back on her feet before Caleb had to arrest them both.

“Tomorrow,” he reminded her. “Noon.” And he gave Tildy Tex’s address.

She nodded, somewhat dazed, and Hawk opened the car door for her.

Back inside the bar
, he took up his seat again. He polished off his beer in one gulp, as Slick appeared beside him. She wasn’t there to collect his empty.

“Stay away from her, Hawk,” the waitress ordered.

Hawk looked up at her, frowning. “You’ve been giving me the hairy eyeball all day,” he told her. “What’s the problem? I’m not going to hurt her.”

“She’s not for you,” Slick insisted.

Hawk glowered. “I just said-”

“She’s getting married,” Slick announced to the table.

Easy and Tex abandoned their game of pool and stepped closer.

Hawk’s eyebrows furrowed. “What? No, she’s not. I didn’t see a ring on her finger.”

Slick put a hand on one hip and the other hip against the table. “That’s because you haven’t put it there yet.”

Now Hawk was completely lost. Before he could say anything, Easy summed it up pretty eloquently.

“What?”

Slick shook her head wearily. “She says she’s getting married.
To you.
”

Hawk slowly set his empty bottle down on the table. “No, she didn’t,” he insisted.

“Oh, yes. She did.”

“When?” he demanded, b
ecause Slick and Tildy hadn’t even said boo to each other all night, so obviously Sarah was mistaken.

“This afternoon. At the garage.”

Easy gave a low whistle. “Bunny boiler,” he declared.

Hawk scowl
ed harder. “She’s...” he tried to say, but couldn’t finish, because he didn’t know what Tildy was. Sure she was a little quirky, a little shy in general, but still pretty forward with
him
. But crazy? He couldn’t picture Tildy as crazy.

App
arently, Slick couldn’t either.

“I’m no
t saying she’s dangerous,” the woman intoned. “But there’s something...off about her. And she definitely said she was marrying you.”

Hawk groaned and covered his face with one hand.

“When’s the wedding?” Shooter asked brightly.

“Shut up,” Hawk growled. He
was beginning to seriously regret inviting Tildy to the barbecue.

There was one rule, a
bove all others, more important than not letting them ride on the Harley, more important than not sleeping beside them, and more important than letting them know up front that he didn’t do commitment.

“Rule number one,” Easy chirped.

“Fuck me,” Hawk groaned.

“What’s rule number one?” Vegas asked.

Easy laughed. “Don’t stick your dick in crazy.”

Tildy got out of the cab and stood on the sidewalk outside the address Hawk had given her. She was reasonably sure she’d gotten it right, because there were a ton of cars lining both sides of the street- motorcycles too. Her stomach flip-flopped when she recognized Hawk’s.

There were a lot of voices coming from behind the house
, and it seemed the barbecue was in the backyard. Tildy wasn’t sure if she should knock on the front door but decided to, just in case she had the wrong house.

She passed a shiny
, black Hummer and a cherry red Camaro parked in the driveway and walked up to the front door. She yanked on the sleeves of her blue cotton button-down shirt that she’d rolled up to her elbows before running her hands over her jeans. Odds weren’t great that it would actually be Hawk who answered the door but still...

She knocked and held he
r breath. A few minutes later, the man with sandy blonde hair and blue eyes that she recognized from the garage, as well as the bar, opened the door.

“Tildy,” was all he said, a huge grin spreading across his face.

Tildy relaxed a little and smiled back. “Hi. Hawk invited me. I- I hope that’s okay.”

He nodded. “Oh, it’s just fine, darlin’.” Before he could move out of the way a tall redhead came up behind him.

“Tex?” she asked.

Tex glanced over his shoulder. “Tildy’s here,” he announced.

The redhead gave him a sharp look, pushed him to the side, and smiled at Tildy. But there was something more to the look the woman was giving her. And the look she now gave Tex. Tildy frowned, feeling not only like she wasn’t in the joke, but that there was a very good chance she
was
the joke. Maybe Hawk had forgotten he invited her and had brought someone else. Or maybe Hawk’s comments about Tildy’s family having money had put them off her.

She glanced at Abby’s spaghetti strap t
op with the shirred body. Like Tildy, she was also wearing jeans. Tildy wasn’t really dressed any differently, except that her own shirt wasn’t quite as weather-appropriate as the other woman’s summer top. The woman also had a beautiful, gold necklace with rubies and diamonds arranged in a flower resting at the hollow of her throat. Tildy had seen enough of her mother’s jewelry to know that the necklace wasn’t cheap. Neither were the woman’s cowboy boots.

Tildy felt confident she could fit in here, if they gave her a chance.

“I’m Abby,” the redhead told her. “I didn’t get much of a chance to say hi last night.”

Tildy smiled at her. “I remember you.” She looked at Tex. “You’re together, right?”

Tex slid his arm around Abby’s waist.

“For now,” he replied.

Abby glared at him.

Tex raised his hands. “I’m not trying to manipulate you,” he told her. “But, baby, I don’t know if our relationship can withstand you voting for Slick’s
chili over mine is all I’m saying.”

Abby crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I’ll vote any way I want to vote. You’ll just have to buy superglue for your shattered ego.”

“See!” he cried. “You’ve already made up your mind! It’s unfair. It’s biased. You haven’t even
tried
hers yet!”

Tildy giggled at the exchange. Hawk had indicated that there was some...strangeness... abou
t Tex and Abby’s relationship, but Tildy couldn’t see it. They seemed normal to her.

Tex glowered. “They’ve turned on me, Tildy. They’re all traitors. Slick comes to town with her cookies and her sweet tea and setting things on fire and suddenly-”

Tildy’s eyes widened. “She set something on fire? That sounds like me. I can’t cook at all.”

Abby grinned. “Me neither. But I’m learnin
g. Apparently, though, the fire thing was a dessert. It was supposed to be that way. I wasn’t around for that.”

“It was a f
luke!” Tex yelled. “It’s all smoke and mirrors! She sets something on fire and the Neanderthals are all, ‘Oooooh! Fire! Fire good! Nom, nom, nom!’ And now she’s their favorite.”

The women laughed.

“You said you wanted Sarah to help you cook,” Abby reminded him.

“Yeah! But she’s not supposed to be better at it than I am!”

“Stop whining and get back to the kitchen,” Abby ordered.

Tildy wasn’t really sure who was spanking whom when the sun went down in this house. She blushed at the thought.

“Are you too warm, Tildy?” Abby asked. “That’s a heavy shirt.”

Tildy blushed harder
, as though Abby had read her thoughts.

“A little,” she replied, fanning herself for good measure.

“Well, the air conditioner’s on, but the drinks are outside,” Abby informed her. She led Tildy to the living room. Off to the left was the open kitchen, where Tex was busy at the counter slicing avocados. Beyond the living room was a sliding glass door that led to the back yard where a crowd of people were milling around, talking and laughing. Tildy couldn’t see Hawk from where she stood, and instinctively took a step toward the door.

Abby stopped.

“Why don’t you sit here, where it’s cool, and I’ll bring you something?”

“Um,” Tildy looked from the door to Abby and back again. She realized that Abby hadn’t actu
ally invited her to the party, and Abby, while being very nice, didn’t seem to want her here.

Not knowing what else to do, Tildy asked, “Is Hawk here?” Even though she knew he was.

Tex called out from the kitchen, “He’s-”

“He might be here,” Abby interrupted forcefully. “I don’t know
, I’ll check.” Abby took off toward the back yard.

Tildy looked at Tex. She knew Hawk was here. She’d seen his Harley out front.

Tex grinned at her. “I’m pretty sure he’s out back.”

He had that look again
, like something was funny. Tildy didn’t like it. Taking Tex’s word for it, she stepped out onto the back deck. There were a lot of people, none of whom Tildy recognized. Most of women were in various combinations of bikinis, shorts, and t-shirts. A lot of men stood around, beers in hand, and Tildy was certain they weren’t telling the same fishing story over and over again.

She s
potted Abby several yards away, talking to Hawk, and neither of them looked happy. At that moment, Hawk glanced up at her. Instead of smiling, he scowled. Tildy’s heart sank. He
had
changed his mind about inviting her.

She felt a wave of disappointment wash over her. They’d kissed
in the parking lot, but maybe Hawk was just a kiss-slut. Tildy wasn’t a kiss-slut though. Between the necklace, the kissing, and Hawk being so intense, she’d made a huge mistake.

Abby noticed her
too, and the redhead’s scowl mirrored Hawk’s.

Now a few other people were eyeing her curiously. They knew th
ey hadn’t seen her around. Something,
something
about Tildy marked her as different, and she would probably never be about to figure out what that
something
was.

Outsider
, the voice in Tildy’s head screamed. It was the same way at home, at school, everywhere.
One of these things is not like the others
.

She could run. She’d done it enough times growing up. Kids of
her parent’s rich friends would say, “Why do you speak Spanish? Preparing for your career as a maid?”

It was no secret that Tildy’s parents thought s
he was stupid. Having to ask her teacher to sign off on each day’s list of homework assignments in an effort to improve her grades had made it pretty obvious. Tildy’s grades hadn’t even been dismal. When your mother had a degree in accounting and your dad had a degree in finance and they both ran one of the largest banks in the city, a B- in math was unacceptable. They had seemed genuinely relieved that Tildy had even been accepted to SDSU.

But Tildy didn’t want to run anymore.
She’d suffered enough humiliation in her life to know that one more knock wasn’t going to kill her or even put her on the ground.

She carefully arranged her face into a
smile. It was easy enough to do; she’d had enough practice. Just seconds after a pinch or a hair pull, Tildy could look as serene as a cool, blue pond. Not a ripple of discontentment would mark her features.

She approached Abby, Hawk
, and their friends. “Hi,” she said in a careful, measured tone that contrasted the bubbliness that sometimes escaped from her when she was excited.

She just wanted to get it over with and go back to her life, where there was never, ever
anything like disappointment, because there was never anything to get her hopes up about.

Hawk nodded at her. “Nice that you came,” he said, though he looked as though he thought it was anything but. He jerked his chin a little to her left. “There’s food and beer over there. Enjoy yourself.”

Hawk may not look as though he meant a word of what he was saying, but Tildy was determined to not let any of her own feelings show to him or anyone else.

“Great. Thanks,” she replied.

Easy, whom she met during lunch at Burnout, but whose real name she didn’t know, smirked at Hawk. Shooter remained passive, probably because his wife was eyeing him warily. For a moment Tildy had a fleeting thought that she was caught up in some kind of reverse slumming-it dare.

Hey, bet you can’t get Miss Moneybags to come to the barbecue.

Piece of cake. All I had to do was kiss her. Pay up.

She
turned to go, planning to skip the food and beer and quietly slip out the front door with no one the wiser as to what she really felt about being the butt of their joke. She would have made it, too, if right then Hawk hadn’t reached out and pulled one of the bikini girls to his side.

Tildy’s stomach churned and she jammed her nails into her palms. Over the years
, she had become inured to her mother’s little reminders. She’d discovered pain could be useful. It could remind you not to make a mistake. It could also make everything you were feeling inside disappear for a moment. It could keep you focused just long enough to make an escape.

She dug her nails in deep
, as she willed herself not to run.
Walk,
she told herself.
Just walk away.

Tildy held her head high
, even though no one was really paying attention to her anymore. She reached the back door and was about to step through when Tex came out. She nearly crashed into him and he grabbed her by the shoulders to avoid a collision. The distraction made her lose focus. The tears that Tildy had been keeping at bay suddenly welled up in her eyes.

“Aw
, damn it,” he said.

From behind Tildy, Abby hissed, “I told you it wasn’t funny!”

The red head ushered Tildy into the house with one arm and shoved her boyfriend out with the other. She slid the door shut behind them.

“So
, it was a joke,” Tildy said miserably.

“Oh, honey,” Abby said softly. “Sit down.”

Tildy tucked herself into the end of the couch and swiped at a tear that was sliding down her cheek.

“Honey, Hawk isn’t the guy for you.”

Tildy nodded. “I know. He’s been to jail, and we’re different, and-”

“What?” Abby asked, confused. “Jail? Well, okay, yeah, but I was thinking more about all the women
, not the vandalism. I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

Tildy blinked at Abby, trying to understand. “The what? Women?”
As in plural?
Tildy thought.
As in a lot of women?
“Vandalism? What?”

“Hawk got busted
years
ago spray painting road signs. I’m pretty sure it’s out of his system. But the women, well they’re...
.not
out of his system. He always has a different one. He’s not the settling down type.”

Tildy didn’t know what
to think. Hawk wasn’t dangerous; he was just a manwhore. He’d already moved on from plain little Tildy, who apparently was only worth a kiss in a parking lot, and just barely at that.

“
I mean, I know you said you were going to marry him,” Abby continued. “But you didn’t really
mean
that, I’m sure. And Hawk doesn’t even
date
girls. It’s just-”

“Oh, God!” Tildy groaned, feeling he
r cheeks burn. She had meant it at the time. She’d been praying for a sign, a way out of her life that seemed like it was closing in on her. She’d thought Hawk had been that sign. She had absolutely believed it, but had been wrong, like always. Tildy was humiliated and indignant, and she suddenly felt like lashing out. Thankfully, a convenient target presented itself.

The back door opened and Sarah came in. She didn’t even get the door closed all the way before Tildy jumped up off the couch. “I’m not crazy!” she yelled, not completely oblivious to the fact that she was acting a little unhinged. She ignored that.