Hazards on the Hardwood (Hazards and Hijinks) (3 page)

5

In a poshly decorated apartment in Brooklyn, Edward Haversham was forming an insanely wonderful plan. He loved it when his mind worked so deviously! Delightfully delicious, this plan was the best one yet. He would need an able accomplice and knew who was ripe for the picking. His wife, Sparky Farnum Haversham, not devious at all, she preferred Bloomingdale’s to battling for first place in a silly dancing competition. She loved to dance, but her talents were obviously retail-oriented! If there was a competition in acquiring as many material items in a shopping mall…she’d win, oh yeah, she would win! Knowing her way around Macy’s or Nordstrom…she should have a degree in shopping; she was so good! Her closet couldn’t possibly hold anymore shoes. Her handbag shelves were bulging and clothes…well let’s just say that she could furnish her own designer shop.

Dancing? She could take it or leave it; behind shopping, swimming was her passion. She had a position at a local country club pool as a part time instructor. Loving the water was something she had learned as a child. Her parents knew that if they couldn’t find her in her toy-studded nursery, she was in one of the family’s two pools; one indoor and the other decadently accessorized outdoor pool. Statues, fountains and gardens decorated the outdoor pool. It was amazing! No wonder she loved it so much. It was like a water fairyland. Shaking herself out of her memories, she returned to the present and the dance competition. She would need to find a gown and accessories that were stylish and elegant enough to make heads turn at her entrance onto the dance floor. “But Edward; how to handle Edward,” she thought. He didn’t take losing gracefully. He had mentioned that he would see to it that this year he and Sparky would win no matter what the cost. That gave her cause to fear him and his plan. She’d known he didn’t accept second place on anything he ever did…a very determined man!

Edward was forty-nine years old, had a serious collection of Cher memorabilia and was a Harvard graduate. He knew the ‘ins and outs’ of all things “legal.” His major was family law and he still involved himself once in a while in some rather high profile New York custody battles. That was where he excelled. He liked to mix it up and get the dirt on the offending spouse. He was a man of little in the way of conscience.

Sparky was thirty-eight years old and checked the mirror daily to make sure her skin was youthful with no wrinkles and that her silhouette was perfect. It didn’t help that her favorite foods were rich in calories. She loved lattes and donuts. An occasional pound added here or there didn’t seem to ruffle her too much. She would just head to the country club pool, swim some vigorous laps and burn it off. Her biggest asset besides being a strong swimmer was her ballroom dancing skills. She could dance or swim circles around most of her co-workers at the pool. In or out of the water, on or off the dance floor she was dedicated to being the best at everything she encountered.

Last year, when Edward and Sparky had signed up for a local dance competition, they won second place in all their categories. Although this made Edward furious, Sparky loved putting the newly earned trophies in their family room. For her, a sense of accomplishment and pride; for Edward, a mere second place trophy screamed “failure.”

This year, he’d make sure it didn’t happen again. He and Sparky would win the first place trophy no matter what! He had a terrible idea he tossed around in his brain and he wanted to put it into the real world to help him achieve the top prize. He grinned inwardly at the thought of what he was planning to unleash at the other contestants.

Edward didn’t accept it when his competition beat him out of first place in any aspect of his life. He wanted to be on top no matter what and in whatever he attempted. No one was better than he was when it came to leading the pack. People’s friendships to Edward were stepping-stones to his climb to the top and being a total success in whatever he was doing. So the dance competition was just another area of his existence where he would not accept defeat and…second place was in his eyes, DEFEAT!

6

Taffy could hard wait to give Cedric a piece of her mind! She would have to wait though, since she had the other photo shoot happening this morning. A warehouse in Brooklyn was the site of the job. She just hoped she wouldn’t lose her composure as she looked up the directions to the location. Taffy mentally checked off her list for the morning: hair fixed meticulously, check, jeans, patterned knit top, check, accessories, check, including that new scarf Francois had purchased for her birthday last year, check. Yes, she was definitely ready for those snot-nosed little kids that were waiting her arrival on the set.

The director of the commercial ad was tapping his foot impatiently as Taffy arrived for the shoot. A man, extra puffy around the middle, graying hair and stocky build, he looked like an older version of the Fonz in his leather jacket and tight fitting jeans, cuffed at the ankles – are you serious? And those loafers! What was up with those loafers? She hadn’t seen a man in loafers in years. His hair, though graying, had kind of a 50s look to it and overall, he appeared to have quite the attitude. In Taffy’s mind, she recalled several commercial ad directors who were more than a little stuffy and grumpy on the set. She figured it came with the territory!

His name was Gus Monroe. His background was sort of shady; murky to say the least. He touted that he knew many famous celebrities and filmed several trailers for films. No one could verify or deny these claims. He was pretty good at what he did, if you could bypass the detestable attitude he paraded while doing his “important” job!

Gus called everyone to attention and he started hurling orders at the crew. “Okay, I need the kids to come in on queue and start asking their ‘mommy’ for their afternoon snacks. Mom, that’s you, Taffy” Under Taffy’s breath she said, “Duh!”

Oh this was definitely going to be one fantastic day that was for sure! “Yes sir!” Taffy answered, almost as if in the military. “Where do you want me to stand?” She asked.

He shouted, “Next to the kitchen counter. As you can see, it’s covered with tomato sauce, apple juice and chocolate milk. You will take that bottle of ‘Dirt Be Gone’ and get a paper towel and start cleaning up the mess. Make sure you smile, honey. Show them pearly whites to the camera. People out there need to know you’re genuine and pleased with the product.”

Gus issued his orders to the children, “Kids, you start screaming loudly, ‘I want my snack. Where’s my drink? Can Billy and Seth come over and play?’ Mommy, you just keep smiling and wiping!”

“Makeup, get in here and get that glare off Mom. She’s sweating and I won’t have a sweaty mom on my set!” It was going to be a grand day, yes it was!

The shoot was progressing, when one of the kids told the director that they didn’t feel well and that their stomach was feeling funny. The kid no sooner said that and there was the kid’s breakfast all over the director’s jeans. “Oh gross!” The other kids started laughing and then as the smell wafted through the air, others seemed to get their cue to offer up their breakfasts, as well.

With that pandemonium ensued, the director shut down the shoot and told everyone to return the next day. “It’s a wrap!” Taffy thought as she gained her composure and headed out the warehouse door into the “fresher” air.

She needed some coffee quickly and decided to go to her “second job” location, Starbucks and get some caffeine running through her weary veins. Caffeine always helped get her back on track.

As she stood in line to get her tall latte and her eyes searched the room. In the very back corner there was a distinguished looking man; rather secretive and mysterious. Taffy had seen too many spy movies and was intrigued by the man’s posture and appearance. She also noticed that he was wearing some kind of hairpiece; while he was talking on the phone and as his expressions changed, the position of his toupee seemed to shift with it. Now Taffy was really enthralled. She continued to observe his mannerisms. If only she could read lips. The gentleman seemed to be getting more agitated with the person on the other end of the phone. He was more animated and his voice started reaching a pitch that some of the people at the surrounding tables actually were able to eavesdrop on his heated conversation.

7

Edward Haversham didn’t seem to be aware of his surroundings in Starbucks, or he would have talked more softly to his wife, Sparky. She had definitely ruffled his feathers and provoked his wrath. “No Sparky! I told you to order the medicine from the firm I wrote down on that piece of paper. Can’t you ever follow directions? Jeez! It was a simple request. The guy told me he had ordered a compound, that when it is mixed with water or another liquid it caused the person drinking it to get very drowsy and disoriented. Next time I’ll just have to do it myself. Did they tell you how long it would be before it was ready?” Edward then lifted his face; looking with an expression of surprise and shock as he saw the others around him taking in his every word. Immediately, he got up from his seat and
strutted out the door and back onto the busy street.

After that bit of excitement, Taffy finished her latte and decided to take the rest of the day off. She went home and had some time to practice some dance moves. It occurred to her that she still hadn’t made a decision about the shoes and gown. She would have to put that off until later when the funds were available. Then there was the thought of returning to that “barf fest” commercial filming the next day had her feeling like she needed to change her career path!

Taffy always had a strong work ethic and holding down the barista job and the part time modeling gig was still not enough to get her some of the necessities that she needed for her love of dance competitions. The cost of a competition could cost thousands of dollars and that didn’t happen on her kind of earnings.

* * * *

Edward had stomped out the door of Starbucks and to his horror he had forgotten his phone on the table. He rushed back in attempting to look nonchalant with sweat dripping off his forehead; his hairpiece looking a little disheveled. He approached the table and with a loud sigh he saw that his phone was not there. “Excuse me!” he yelled. The barista at the counter turned towards the loud voice and said with a shocked look on her face, “Yes sir, may I help you?”

“I should say you WILL help me! I have misplaced my phone. I left it on that table over there in the corner. Did someone pick it up when they cleared the table?” His demanding voice was now elevated to a sound of sheer panic.

“Sir, please allow me to check behind the counter and in the office. Maybe someone has turned it in. I will be right back.” And with that the young blonde headed back to the counter and then Edward watched as she disappeared into a back office.

“Here it is sir. Some nice person must have found it and turned it in. So sorry for the inconvenience, may I get you a refill sir?” She oozed with sweetness that almost sickened Edward as he grabbed his phone and stomped back out the door without speaking a word of thanks to the young lady. “Well that guy sure had some nerve,” the barista thought as she pasted a big smile on her face wondering what the rest of the day held for her.

He would make Sparky pay for this, even though it wasn’t her fault. He loved laying blame on anyone as long as he didn’t have to be accountable himself. He was used to getting his way and making others pay. It was something he learned early in life and law school helped bring his blaming issue to the surface. He constantly got bombarded with cases where people never accepted their mistakes blaming others for their failures in relationships and in their businesses. It happened over and over and so as Edward exited his law practice and he retired, he put what he had learned into his new existence. It didn’t matter if it was dance contests, real estate or any other area of his life he had to beat the competition. He was number one!

8

Francois had been at his family’s spandex plant all day and was growing weary of the noisy machines, the smell of sweat and the idle chitchat of the workers as they tried to make their mundane jobs more light-hearted. “How on earth could these people be so happy doing all that boring stuff? I don’t know how they manage. Working paycheck to paycheck just to have enough to buy groceries and pay their rent…it’s beyond me.” His life was so wonderful by comparison; dancing and lovely ladies, ah the lovely ladies!

Before he left the building, he walked into the restroom. He made a mental note; he must remember to get fitted for a new tuxedo soon. Taffy would have to fall under his “gentlemanly” spell on the dance floor. After all, he was such a dashing specimen, how could she not? He chuckled as he moved his gorgeous locks of black hair out of his striking blue eyes.

He loved to admire his image in the mirror. It was like he had a homing device and he was caught immediately in a tractor beam; out of his control. If there was a mirror around, he couldn’t resist taking a quick glance at himself. He had all the pride of a rooster in the henhouse, strutting himself as if he was the “prince of the poultry.” Yes, he was full of conceit and he wore it well!

He went back into his dad’s office and told his father ‘goodbye’ and off he went to hail a cab and get back to decent civilization. This man was a true snob. He delighted in it. His taste was impeccable, wearing only the finest Armani suits and Salvatore Ferragamo shoes, nothing but the best.

Francois could afford the finest apparel on the planet. Taffy on the other hand, was not so lucky. But she was resourceful and had a strong-willed personality. These two were chemistry on the dance floor but elsewhere, their lives were complete opposites. That was what made it so special. So when the dancing was over, they each went to their separate lives and dreamed of something better.