Read Struggling Free (Hidden Secrets Book 5) Online
Authors: P. J. Belden
Struggling Free (Hidden Secrets Book 5)
Struggling
Free
P. J. Belden
© P. J. Belden 2014
Struggling Free (#5 Hidden Secrets)
© P. J. Belden 2014
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locale is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages for review purposes only.
First and foremost, to my husband and children: I’m here doing this now because you gave me the strength to do so. I love you all so very much!
Vicky… Oh Vicky, how I <3 you so. Ha! So the time has finally come and your book is here. I hope you enjoy the read. Jake is my favorite so far
hehehe. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me. You are an amazing friend!
Jacob
The club was hot and the girls even hotter. This was my routine. It is where I came to find my relaxation for the night. Nothing like a trip and a hot fuck to make all your problems go away. Spotting Ralph, I made my way over. When I catch his attention, he tips his head to me, then I shake my head. His face turns thoughtful for a minute, then he shrugs. Tipping my head to each shoulder, then tossing it back. Ralph smiles.
Ralph was a gangly looking guy. He
reminded me a lot of the guy from
Men in Black
where is skin was just hanging off his bones after the big roach thing took over. His eyes were almost sunk into his head and his smile was almost like a speckled smile. Some of his teeth were black and others were yellow. I don’t think there was a single tooth in there white… well for what teeth he had left.
We
have only talked once, the rest of the time we keep our distance and signal each other. When he raises his finger to run down the top of his nose, then scratching the underside, it was my turn to smile. He soon disappeared, I waited the allotted time before heading out toward the back of the club. I enter into the bathroom and go to the stall that had the only window near it. Shutting myself in the stall, I wait.
Rubbing
my crotch, I tried to adjust myself for a comfortable fit. It was no use. I was so fucking hard and needed laid badly. It had been a while since I’d been in here due to filming a movie out of town, but tonight I was here and man was I dying for it. There was only so long that I can handle the voices before it drove me crazy. This helped. It was my saving grace. Finally, it hit me in the shoulder.
Quickly
grabbing the package before it hits the floor, I almost cheer in excitement. Fumbling with the wrapping almost caused me to drop it all on the floor. Finally, the high I have longed for was in my grasp. My dealer has specific instructions to supply me not only with my drugs, but a surface in which I can prep it. The smile crept across my face because I knew it was ahead. Preparing everything, I raised the piece of cardboard to my nose and sniffed.
Yes!
This is what I needed.
I
started using a couple of years ago. Back when things started hitting the fan in my family. Back when I found out what happened to my sister and I did nothing to see it or stop it. Yeah, these moments the drugs give me, allow me to forget how I failed my family. I needed these moments just to keep breathing.
Once
I have consumed all of it I can, I get rid of the evidence. Standing up, I exit the bathroom. One problem solved, now it was time for the next one. Standing against one wall of the club, I scoped out any girl that spoke to my dick. Finally, I saw her dancing with two other girls on the floor. As I made my way over, her friends were heading off the floor.
“
Wanna dance?” I asked in my deep voice that does every woman in.
“Hell
yes,” she yelled.
Pulling
her to one side of the floor, it was an area that was both surrounded by people and private at the same time. She quickly began to grind her ass into me. It was what I was searching for. That pleasure, that release. Spinning her around to face me, I lowered my head and began kissing her neck over her bare shoulder. My hands ran up the back of her thighs, lifting her short dress up revealing a very naked ass in my hands.
Lifting
her leg, she began to grind her crotch against me. Moaning, she tossed her head back, giving me open opportunity to tease her nipples through her dress. Gripping it with my teeth and yanking down, one breast came bounding out. My mouth quickly covered her nipple and she moaned louder gripping my neck tightly with her hands.
“I’m
going to fuck you, right here, right now like the slut you are.” I said against her breast.
“Yes.
Yes, fuck me,” she moaned, looking in my eyes.
Once
I discreetly sheathed myself in a condom, I pulled the other side of her dress down revealing her other plump breast. Holding her one leg to my hip, I thrust hard and deep into her. She flung her head back on a loud moan.
“Yes,
harder… faster. Fuck me!” She cried out.
I
slammed into her hard and with no mercy even knowing she was going to be bruised tomorrow. I loved having sex in public places. It intensified the moment and caused the orgasm to be that much more intense.
She
was now screaming pretty loudly, when her head flew up and she looks me straight in the eyes. “I’m going to fucking cum on your fucking dick.”
“About
fucking time!” I roared as she clamped down on my dick.
“Oh
fuck yeah, I’m cumming. I’m fucking cumming.” She moan/screamed.
Tossing
my head back, I began to empty my load. Damn each time it gets better and better with public sex. Tonight was the most risky because the club was crowded and people could easily see. Let’s face it, little miss wide legs here wasn’t exactly being quiet.
When
I finally reached the end of it, I tucked my condom covered dick back in my pants. Letting go of the girl’s leg, she kind of stumbled backward.
“Thanks
for that.” I turned starting to walk away.
“Wait,”
she said, grabbing my hand.
Quickly
yanking my hand from hers, I glared at her. “Don’t you dare grab me again. I got what I came here for. Go find someone else if you’re looking to exchange names or have sex more than once. Not that kind of guy. Got it?”
Her
eyes were wide as they could be without popping from her head, finally nodding her head slowly. Thankful, I turned walking away. I headed right for the door. It took all of five minutes to walk back to my hotel. I immediately went into the bathroom, stripped, tore off the condom and wrapped it in toilet paper and flushed it. Stepping in the shower, I began to clean myself up.
The
high I so loved was disappearing and in its wake was anger and depression. I hated the inevitable downs that came with the highs, but I craved those highs, no matter how short they were becoming, I needed them even for a moment. I needed those moments when I didn’t fail my sisters. Those moments when the world was a happy fucking place and not the freaking disaster my life has become.
Punching
the wall of the shower, I hear a few of the tiles crack. I feel nothing. No pain. Nothing. My mind continues to go around and around with all the things that Kayla and Mary had gone through and here I sit boasting about what a great brother I am to whatever camera feels like interviewing me. The whole flipping time my sisters are secretly fighting to stay the fuck alive. What the fuck kind of brother was I?
Another
punch to the wall.
How
the fuck could I not have seen the struggles? Especially Kayla’s. For crying out loud the shit was happening in the fucking house! I scream. My hands fly up to my head and start pulling at my hair, ripping out a chunk. Things started to blur and dizziness was starting to seep in. This was it. Just fucking kill me so I don’t have to hurt my family anymore.
Kill
yourself you stupid worthless piece of shit bastard!
# # #
Groaning, I tried to lift my head, but it hurts too bad. Opening one eye, I groan at the light shining in the room. Shifting slowly and awkwardly, I lift myself to my knees.
What
the hell?
I’m
in the bathroom? On the floor, naked. What the fuck? Standing slowly and carefully I teeter a bit and place my right hand out for support and a shooting pain shot through my hand. Blinking several times trying to get my eyes to focus, I see my hand purple and swollen.
What
the hell happened?
Staggering
I made it out to the sink where my clothes were strung, I reach down to find my wallet and phone still there. Thought for sure with how bad I felt and the looks of my hand that maybe I had been robbed or something. When my phone hits the floor the main screen flashes the time.
6:12pm
Grabbing my phone up, I look at the date. “Holy Fuck! I’ve lost almost a day!” Stumbling out to the bed, my phone still in hand, I sat on the bed with my head in my hands. I tried to think of the last thing I remembered. Flicks of the night started to run through my head like a damn slide show. The bathroom. The drugs. The girl. I groaned inwardly. Oh God!
Dialing
the number of the one person I know would understand and offer some advice, I waited for him to answer.
“Jake!
Man, it’s been a long time.” Danger answered.
“Hey
man, not that long,” I paused to take a deep shaking breath, a sob escaping. “I need help. I just can’t do this anymore.”
“I’m
on my way over right now.”
“Thanks
man,” I whispered. “Thank you.”
Vicky
This day seemed to never end. Pinching the space between my eyes, I stare at my calendar and see all the double and even a few triple bookings. This new assistant wasn’t helping me any. My normal assistant, Mrs. Duncan, was currently on maternity leave. She offered the suggestion of hiring through a temp agency that was established for the private jobs.
That
was a huge fucking mistake! Especially as I sit here trying to figure out how to rearrange my schedule, in walks Leon Dean. He seemed to almost be a regular client of mine. Though when I have a repeat client I know they are not totally ready to change, but really are only doing what they are told to do before they lose their contracts, deals whatever it is they are in.
Leon
played for the local baseball team. Their star hitter actually. Only problem is his game has started to be affected by his extra-curricular activities. The owner told him he either cleans up or he’s out. So about every start of season, he’ll come strolling back in my office to clean him up. It was kind of a revolving door here. Today he wouldn’t like what I had to say though.
“Mr.
Dean. How are we doing today?” I smile politely.
“Good
ma’am.” He nods his head.
“Please
sit. It’s time we had a talk.” I wave my hand to the chair in front of my desk.
Slowly
he takes a seat. His posture has me concerned a bit, but I still muster up and push forward. No one got this far in the business like I have by being afraid of their clients. If I showed them fear, they’d walk all over me.
Leaning
back in my chair, I cross my arms. “How did your break go? Did you stay clean?”
He
shook his head. Didn’t bother hiding his face this time. Like I said, he does this every year. Though I loved the fact that I could count on that income every year, it wasn’t good for him or those around him.
“You
have come here for about four years. I get you cleaned up and then baseball season ends and you go off your rocker and come back to me to help you clean your act up so you can keep your contract.”
“But
I quit while I’m playing and that is all the boss man asked for. Never said that I couldn’t have fun in my off time.” He smirked.
“
Look, Leon. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to cut you loose. If you come back to me and are ready to quit for good, then I might reconsider taking you on as a client again, but until that day. I can’t help you anymore. You are doing your body so much damage with the yo-yo that you are riding right now. I just can’t contribute to it any longer.”
He
flies up out of his seat. “What! You have got to be fucking kidding me!” He paces back and forth rapidly. “If you don’t help me get cleaned up, I’ll lose my contract.”
“This
is where you need to realize that your actions have consequences. You have a great career and a better life than most could dream. You chose this path. You must walk it until you are truly ready to have someone help you over the hill.”
Slamming
his hands down on the front of my desk, he leaned forward. I had to work really hard to keep my outside demeanor cool, calm and collected. When really inside my stomach was doing a continuous flip.
“You
are going to be so sorry if I lose my contract.” He hissed punching my desk one more time and stormed out.
Slowly
I let out the breath I was holding. Well, that takes care of one of the overbookings. No, that wasn’t the reason I let him go. The saying is true, ‘
you cannot help someone unless they are willing to help themselves.
’ He wasn’t ready to clean up and I needed to quit wasting my resources on someone that would be back to repeat it all again.
Still
trying to figure out this schedule, I start banging my head on my desk.
“Excuse
me?”
My
head snapped up at that deep raspy voice breaking into my frustration. I am met with a vision of a man. His dark messy hair that my hands longed to run through, bright blue eyes and a smile that I swear just melted my panties.
What the hell, Vicky! Get with it!
Squaring
my shoulders, “Can I help you?”
“Uh,
there was no one out front.”
“That’s
because I fired my worthless piece of shit secretary. What can I do for you?”
He
takes a tentative step into my office then he too squares his shoulders. “My friend Danger told me that you could help me. You know, get cleaned up.” He said gruffly.
Great,
another macho type. I sighed. “Did he make an appointment or did you? I’ll be honest with you, thanks to my worthless staff I’m a bit full at the moment.”
“Yeah.
I even paid in advance, so I’d like to think you’re not a fake and just taking my money.” He grumbled.
“Excuse
me?” I try my hardest not to get defensive. “You obviously know nothing about me or my practice. I’ve been in business for almost ten years. My success rate is on a low average of ninety percent. Plus, I have a strict confidentiality agreement keeping me at the highest sought after by people such as yourself, Mr. Williams.”
A
smile spreads across his gorgeous face, making me almost sigh in my seat. “You know who I am.” He moves further into the room and sits on the edge of my desk. Leaning down he whispers, “Good to know a beautiful woman such as yourself knows who I am. I’m all about making dreams come true.”
His
hot breath and the deepness of his voice wash over me making me shiver. Jacob smiles bigger. Oh the arrogant asshole!
“Look!
We do things my way and my way only. You will not be given any chances for slip ups. First one you’re gone. Understand?” I said, desperately trying to get the control back in this meeting.
“Yup!
Understood,” he mock salutes, then adds, “Only I will have say in whatever
plan
you come up with. In fact, I will have a say in all of it. From start to finish. This is, after all, my life, not yours.”
“Your
life, Mr. Williams, hasn’t been yours for a while and that is why you are here. You need
my
help to find
your
life again. We will do this my way or you can walk back out that door.” I stated firmly.
“No
deal and I’m not walking out of here either. Stuck up or hard up?” He asked now sitting in the chair across from my desk.
“Excuse
me?”
“You
know you say that a lot. Do you have a gas problem?” He smirked. “I asked are you stuck up or hard up?” Jacob said slowly.
Stunned
for a moment, I stare at him. “That is none of your busi…”
“Ah,
hard up. Aw, that sucks. No one as beautiful as you should be left to get frustrated.” He crooned.
Finally
realizing what he was doing (what can I say my mind had images flying through it on how he could relieve my stress), I concede. “Fine, you can have a say in what happens. Only because I want this conversation to end and get away from you,” I feign disgust. “We’ll meet tomorrow and come up with a plan and cover story.”
“No
need to wait on that. I have a plan. You will pose as my girlfriend,” he held up his hand. “Before you protest, it is the only reason that my family would believe we are around each other. I’ve scheduled time off for about forty-five days. That is your rehab time frame, correct? Before and after that time I have three functions and a couple family gatherings to attend.”
“Is
that all?” I sneered crossing my arms across my chest, more to hide how turned on I was getting with his voice, looks and proximity.
“No.
During the forty-five days, I want to go somewhere secluded and completely private.” His voice lowers and his face drops, all confidence seems to leave him then. “I have a feeling this is going to be an extremely hard fight and I would like not to have to explain this to anyone or anyone see me like that.”
Leaning
forward in my chair, I reached out and touched his hand that was playing with the calendar on my desk. The shock that burned into me with that simple touch stunned me. His eyes widened slightly and I wondered if he felt it too or if he was just shocked someone cared.
“It
is going to be very hard. I won’t lie to you, but because you have made this step you have to continue to move in order to be able to keep moving. Each step will be harder than the first, but the end is what we want to focus on. We’ll talk more about this tomorrow though.” I finished, pulling my hand from his and immediately felt the loss.
He
nodded his head and smiled. “Be at my place by seven in the morning. You’re about to meet the William’s clan.” He grinned and walked out of the room.
My
eyes moved to his ass and I just want to bite him. Damn it! In less than a span of twenty minutes this man blows into my office, makes me forget who I am, takes control and leaves me in a puddle on the fucking floor. The sad thing is if he walked back in here right now and said strip. I’d take off my clothes. This bastard was arrogant. What pissed me off more was that he had a right to be. Anyone that gorgeous knew how he was viewed and boy did he play that card now.
“Fuck
him! He may have called the damn shots just now, but we will be playing by my rules!” I say to my empty office.
My
head drops to the desk and I groan. How the hell am I going to handle him all day with his family? Damn it!