Healing Rain (3 page)
The gray haired, sixty-something woman sitting next to Kas continues to chat away, either ignoring, or not hearing the flight attendant giving instructions before they make their descent into Pisa. Kas manages to smile kindly at her when she shows him another picture of her grandchildren who have been living in Italy for the past two years. He has heard all about her three grandchildren and could recite their ages and names, even pick them out in a line-up if requested to do so, after spending the majority of the flight listening to stories from the loving grandmother after he mistakenly took Raina’s iPod out of his ears to make a quick restroom break. Despite not being in the mood for any form of polite chitchat, he is very grateful to the kind woman for her distraction from his torturing thoughts.
Chase is waiting for Kas as he exits the terminal, “Any more information about where she is heading?”
“She paid for a villa with her credit card. The address is in Chianti.”
“Have you picked up any Italian from Raina?”
“Only how to ask if someone speaks English.”
Chase shoots him an exasperated glance, “I don’t think that will help us any.”
Kas ignores him and heads towards customs. He has one thought in his head, the same thought he silently repeated like a mantra throughout the flight, he will find Raina and bring her home with him, where she belongs. Once they clear customs and get directions to the buses, they find a bench and sit down, again having to wait. Chase studies Kas while working out the best way to handle the possible scenarios they may encounter when they find her. Hearing that she had told Kas that she’s not good for him is daunting. He knows how overcoming emotional abuse is much harder than getting past physical wounds.
“Kas, you can’t go in trying to take over, telling her what she is and isn’t going to do when we find her. It sounds like her father has put self-doubts in her head, and from seeing the pictures of what he did to her physically, I can only imagine the emotional hell he has put her through. Bruises and welts go away, being berated and made to feel worthless...that takes much longer to heal.”
Kas stares straight ahead for a moment, lost in thought, and Chase doesn’t know if he has even heard him until he answers, “I know. She didn’t tell me much about the things her father told her, just what he did to her. I know, from the little she did tell me, that he has tried to hurt her in every way possible. If he called her a whore after Brian raped her, God only knows what other lies he has tried to make her believe about herself.”
Turning to look at Chase, his eyes are full of agony and rage, “She has changed so much. She has come out of her shell and allowed herself to be who she really is inside. Before last night, she wouldn’t have thought that she wasn’t good for me. Maybe at first, but not for the past several months. Her self-confidence has grown, whatever her father said or did to her, he caused the damn barrier that took so long to break to go right back up again. I won’t let him destroy her, I won’t let him destroy us, not anymore.”
Raina wraps the towel around her tired body and sits on the edge of the bed, staring outside. The bright sunlight spills through the open curtains, giving the illusion that it’s a beautiful, warm summer day, not the dead of winter. She slips into the pajamas she bought, her body on American time, telling her it’s time for bed, not the late afternoon she is witnessing through the French doors. With not sleeping since over a day ago, she is feeling the effects in every part of her. She hasn’t eaten in almost as long, and her stomach growls, but she has no appetite.
Listlessly, she walks across the bedroom and gazes outside, over the balcony, into the vineyard in the distance. Even without the green lushness or grapes that summer brings to the vines, the vineyard is breathtaking. She wishes she could enjoy the beauty in front of her. Catching a glimpse of herself as she starts to turn away, she barely recognizes the eyes staring back at her. They seem lifeless, void, and her heart feels like it will bleed the life right out of her.
Chase sees the exhaustion in Kas’ eyes as they ride the bus to Chianti, he knows he hasn’t slept or eaten since yesterday. “Why don’t you sleep for a while, you need to be rested when we find her.”
Kas shakes his head, “I’m too wound up to sleep.”
Chase lets it go, knowing it’s pointless to push the issue.
When the bus finally rolls to a stop, Kas rubs his hand roughly down his unshaven face. He grabs his bag and nudges Chase, feeling a strong wave of gratitude as he sees his friend stir, knowing that Chase hasn’t slept much either and had tried his best not to fall asleep during the ride.
Checking the address again, Kas steps off of the bus, hailing a cab. They place their bags in the trunk and slide into the back, staring blankly at the brown eyes peering at them inquisitively in the rearview mirror as the driver says something to them in Italian. Kas says the only thing he knows in that language, asking if the cab driver speaks English.
The reply is a shrug of the driver’s shoulders and his hand shooting up, holding his thumb and forefinger close together, saying in a heavy accent, “Little.”
Nodding gratefully, Kas hands the driver his phone, showing him the address. He sees the brown eyes light up, and is confused as to why the address makes the driver so happy. The driver excitedly spouts off words in Italian, and Kas wishes he had paid more attention to the movies Raina loves to watch on rainy nights rather than just reading a few of the subtitles before falling asleep on the couch. Kas just nods and smiles, too exhausted to try to communicate.
Mercifully, the drive isn’t too long. Kas’ heart starts to thud inside his chest as the driver stops in the cobblestone driveway of a country villa. Chase takes a moment to take in the magnificent view of the landscape as the driver hands them their bags. What the driver does next surprises Kas and amuses Chase, when he firmly shakes Kas’ hand before pulling him into a hug, smiling brightly and waving as he slides back into the cab, driving away. Kas shoots Chase a startled glance, and Chase just shakes his head, chuckling. They walk across the patio, stopping in front of the door, staring at it a few seconds before knocking.
There is no response. Kas knocks on the door again. Fear grips his heart when he thinks of how Raina might tell him to leave, refusing to see him. He pushes the thought out of his head and knocks on the door harder, deciding he won’t allow her to. They hear her yell something in Italian, and Chase shrugs as Kas turns to him, “You’re the one living with the language specialist.”
Kas knocks again, even harder this time, deciding it’s best to keep his mouth shut and not let her know it’s him. He is about to start pounding on the blasted door until he hears a soft shuffling inside. A few seconds later, the lock on the door clicks and is slowly pulled open. Quickly, Kas pushes the door wider and steps inside as a startled Raina backs away.
He immediately takes in her puffy, red rimmed eyes with dark, tired circles underneath. “Oh, sweetheart,” he whispers painfully, pulling her into his arms.
In her surprised state, Raina allows Kas to hold her, welcoming his warm touch like a drought welcomes healing rain.
Chase steps through the door, and her lapsed mental faculties begin to function. She wrenches out of Kas’ grasp, backing away, cringing at how she must look, and shame ripples through her from her tear swollen eyes.
Kas stares at her, needing answers, needing reassurance, needing
her.
“Why did you leave, Raina?”
His question burns through her, and she can’t bear to look at him, to see the pain in his eyes that she has caused.
“What did your father do to you?” he begs her to answer, praying it’s not what he fears the most.
Her weary eyes shoot to his at the mention of her father, and she shudders as her father’s cruel words ring in her ears again, ‘
you
will
do
nothing
but
ruin
his
life.’
Before he can say or do anything else, she turns away, needing distance so she won’t succumb to her weakness and run back into his welcoming arms.
“Did he hurt you, Raina?”
Raina avoids his gaze, “I’m fine.”
Kas growls a vile expletive, knowing that ‘fine’ usually means just the opposite when the word comes from her. He takes her arm and pulls her towards him. “Let me see,” he demands, starting to tug up her shirt.
She pulls away, not wanting Kas to see the bruise her father left on her stomach and side.
His eyes harden with anger at the realization that her father has harmed her, somehow marking her again with his cruelty. “Chase, turn around. Raina, take your shirt off!” he commands.
Chase shoots Kas a warning glare before he turns, giving Raina her privacy, but she doesn’t budge.
Calming his tone, he pulls her towards him again, rubbing her cheek with his thumb, “I’m not trying to be a jerk, sweetheart, but either you show me every bruise now, or I will strip you down myself to find them.”
Raina sees the seriousness in his eyes and gives in, slipping her shirt over her head.
“He punched you in the stomach?” he rages.
Raina continues to avoid his gaze as he looks over the rest of her. When Kas sees the bruises her father left on her arm, a stab of guilt impales him. He remembers how he mistook her wince as residual fear of him when he had grabbed her there. “Do you have any more bruises, Raina?” pain fills his voice at the question. When she hesitates, he cups her face in his hands gently. “Show me,” he pleads, needing to know how badly her father has harmed her this time.
Raina takes her hair and slides it over her shoulder as she tilts her head. Kas sees red when he stares at the angry bruises left at the base of her neck, knowing how roughly her father had to be squeezing her to cause bruising like that. He kisses her neck tenderly and slides her shirt back over her head before pulling her into his protective embrace. “I don’t know what your father told you, but I know that it had to come from him when you told me that you aren’t good for me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Raina, don’t you ever say anything different.”
She feels her resolve to stay away from Kas weaken as he holds her in his arms. Desperate, she pushes away from him with all of her strength, but he doesn’t release her, and she crashes back into him. “Let me go,” she screams, but Kas refuses, even as she pulls and twists, fighting to get away. “Leave, Kas. Please, just go,” she whispers weakly, falling back into him, too worn to fight anymore.
He stares at her, refusing to let her give up, refusing to just let her father’s lies win. “I’ve never thought of you as a coward.”
Her eyes dart to his, hot anger burning bright jade, “I am not a coward!” The intended strength behind her words immediately weakens when she realizes that his accusation is true. She thinks of how she ran just like a coward when he asked her to marry him, the fear of his future rejection being too hard to take, and the fear of her father’s threat to ruin him pushing her to leave everything behind.
“No, you’re not,” he tells her slowly, letting the resounding truth of his words sink in. “So, don’t start being one now, not after everything you’ve been through. Your bravery is astounding, you’ve not only survived, you have shaped yourself into the amazing person standing in front of me right now.”
Her obvious disbelief at his words slices through him, and he swears to himself that he will make her father pay for what he has done to her. He sees her losing battle as she desperately tries to rein in her tears, knowing how her father has beaten and brainwashed her to make her believe that she is weak if she lets them fall. He had allowed her to run once when they finally came, there’s no way in hell he will let her run away again, thinking she deserves the shame.