Hear Me Now (15 page)

I’ve
got to make Cadence Taylor my girlfriend.

Chapter Sixteen

Cadence

Something’s going on.

About ten minutes before class ends, Dillon jumps up out of his seat and heads to the front of the room. I can see that he’s talking to my mom about something and she’s answering him back, but it’s only toward the end of the conversation that I see it. I don’t believe it, so of course I start rubbing at my eyes in an attempt to make sure I’m actually witnessing what I think I am.

My mom is smiling at him.

I’m determined to ask him about it the minute he comes back and sits down, but the more time that passes without him heading back, I start to realize that I’m not going to get to ask until I meet him for lunch.

When everyone starts moving out of their seats, I throw my book, all the paper I’ve been using to answer Dillon and my pen into my bag and make a mad dash for the door. Before I can head out though, my mom stops me and when I turn around to face her, she’s wearing the same smile from earlier and she hands me a paper.

If it wasn’t weird enough seeing her smile at Dillon earlier, it’s even weirder now.

Thinking that something was going on is confirmed the minute I open the paper and see Dillon’s handwriting on the page. It also gives me answers that I didn’t even know I needed. Where I thought he’d be out in the hall waiting for me when I was done with my mom, I now know different.

Caddy, there’s something I gotta do for my coach. It’s gonna take a few minutes, can you meet me at the ravine?

Looking up at my mom, hoping in some way that she’s got answers for me, she smiles at me again and motions her hand toward the door.

“He told me that he wanted to take you to lunch. I’m okay with it, but if you don’t go now, you’re not going to get back here in time for class and this time Caddy, you’re going to be here when class starts.”

Her wearing the smile the way she is totally destroys any hope she had of coming off halfway serious so I just ball the paper up and toss it in the bin before doing exactly what she said and heading out, my destination clear.

If he’s gotta deal with something with the coach then I’ll play along with him for now. I’ll go to the ravine even though I can’t help thinking that this is Dillon reverting back to the way he was when I first met him and doing it is gonna lead to me getting hurt. I trust him, despite his past giving me more than enough proof that I shouldn’t and even thinking that he would hurt me is enough to turn my stomach, but I can’t help it.

The last thing I want aft
er the morning I’ve had is for him to turn it all around and hurt me. Not even my mom smiling before I walk out can erase the unease I feel as I make my way down the stairs and out the side door, each step bringing me closer to what’s going to be waiting for me the minute he gets there.

Crossing the field in record time, I turn onto the main street until I see the entrance and veering off the actual pathway, I decide to walk through the trees this time, moving along with them as they blow around me. It’s only when I come out through the final cluster of them that I see something I hadn’t been expecting.

Dillon is standing about halfway down the bike path, beside a large rock and there’s a can of something I can’t quite make out in his hands. The closer I get to him, I see what he’s holding and the confusion I felt at seeing him standing there alone is amplified even more.

What he’s doing with a can of spray paint when he has to know it’s against the law to tag here is beyond me, but it doesn’t take me long to find out.

“So I lied.” He says the minute I’m close enough to read his lips.

“I see that.”

“Don’t be mad okay? I swear there’s a reason for it and for bringing your mom into it too, though she doesn’t exactly know the real reason I needed her help.”

“Okay.”

He’s not making any sense, but it’s something I’m getting used to with him. The way he is now reminds me of the way he’d been when he wrote me that note a few days ago. He’s all over the place, but he won’t stay that way forever.

“Spray paint?” I ask, pointing to the can, and the minute I do his eyes light up and he looks down at it with a smile, something that again does nothing but confuse me. What exactly is so great about an aerosol can that can make him light up this way?

“Yeah, spray paint. I’ll get to that, but first, there’s something I gotta ask you.”

He points to the rock he’s standing beside and then looks back at me, the smile even brighter than it was a minute ago.

“Sit please.”

Doing as he says and watching as he sits down beside me, the knees of our jeans touching the minute he does, he turns to me, reaching out and taking my hand and placing it in his own before looking up and locking his eyes on mine.

“I’ve got two questions for you.”

“Okay.”

“The last time we were here, I totally misunderstood what you were trying to say and you spoke to me. You also did something else and I haven’t been able to get it out my head ever since even though I acted like a total ass. What I want to know is, if you had the chance to do it all over would you still do it the way you did?”

If he’s asking if I would kiss him again, I think that should be pretty obvious, but since it seems like it’s only obvious to me, I nod and hope that’s a good enough answer for him.

“Okay good. That means what I’m about to ask you won’t be a total fail.”

I tip my head to the side in confusion and he laughs.

“Caddy, can you promise me something?” he asks, the laughter gone and his face growing more serious by the second.

“Okay.”

“Promise me that when I ask you what I’m about to ask, that you don’t give me the answer you think I wanna hear, but the real answer you want to give.”

I don’t want to admit it but with how seriou
s he is about this, I’m starting to feel a little scared. Whatever it is that he’s about to ask me, it’s big enough that it’s throwing his normal confidence off course and I’m not sure how good I feel about hearing anything that does that. He shouldn’t have to feel awkward, least of all with me.

“Okay.” I answer though I’m pretty sure by now he already knows what my answer is going to be. I’ve been saying nothing but okay since I got here.

“That day in the bathroom when I yelled at you, I caught you in the hall crying after I brought you back from here. You were breaking because of me in the middle of a hallway full of people and there was just something so wrong about it. Being with me, wanting what you did that day; that should have been what broke you, not me pushing you away. Ugh, this isn’t coming out right. Let me start over.”

He takes a breath and taking his other hand, the one that’s not wrapped around mine he starts fidgeting with his hair, whatever it is he’s trying to get out obviously harder for him then even he thought.

“What I’m trying to ask, it’s—ugh. I’m just gonna spit it out. Even though I’m no good for you and I’ll do something to completely blow this, will you go out with me?”

If I didn’t just witness him struggle so hard with it and I wasn’t so struck by everything he said before he got to the question, I would have used the dead air around us right now to laugh at him. He might be two years older and he might even have a whole lot more experience with dating then I do, since I have none at all, but even someone like me could have taken less time to ask someone out.

“Please say something.” He says and all I do is smile at him. The smile, I do it for two reasons. It’s the only thing keeping me from cracking up at him, but it’s also supposed to offer him some security because right now, he looks scared.

There is just something so wrong about the quarterback of the football team scared. It’s just something that should never happen considering he gets knocked on his butt by some pretty big looking guys every time he plays.

“Yes.”

“Yes,
you’ll go out with me?”

I can take going out two different ways
. He could be asking me to be his girlfriend or he could be more literal with it and asking me out on a date so that he can see if I’m girlfriend material. No matter what way he’s asking, the answer isn’t going to change, though I’m starting to get now why he said that he didn’t tell my mom the truth.

I‘m not sure her understanding of Dillon and her willingn
ess to give him a chance extends to him being with me in any other way then friendship. This is definitely not going to go over good when she finds out.

“I’m already out with you Dillon.”

“Really Caddy? You’re gonna choose now to be a smartass?” he asks, struggling to keep his face straight and failing as he starts to laugh.

“I stopped being one?” I ask playfully and as he laughs again, his head dips down to our hands, both still resting together, wrapped in each other, but not quite linked. I see his lips move but I can’t make out what he’s saying and by the time he looks up again, I’m pouting and his eyes scrunch in.

“Shit. I screwed up already?”

“I wanted to hear what you said but I couldn’t read.”

Understanding crosses his eyes and he leans back a little but not enough to break away from the way our legs and hands are still touching, which comforts me. How quickly he jumped to the conclusion that he somehow did something wrong worries me. Even if he’s not asking me to be his girlfriend and he just wants the chance to take me out, I can’t have him questioning every step. It’s not right.

“I said that you never really stopped being a smartass and that I’m really glad you said yes.”

Here’s my chance to get answers. I need to know what I’m saying yes to, even if my answer doesn’t change. I want to know if when I go back to school today, I’m going back the same Cadence I was when I left or if I’m going back as Cadence, Dillon Murphy’s girlfriend. It might not seem like a big deal, but I’m no stranger to the way the world works, especially in high school. It matters a lot. It’s going to change everything.

“What am I saying yes to?”

Now it’s his turn to tip his head sideways in confusion and watching as he does it, it seems we’re pretty similar that way too. What started out as the same eye and hair color has now morphed into our movements being the same. It’s strange but cool at the same time.

“You don’t know what you said yes to?” he asks, again using his free hand and running it through his hair. “If you didn’t know, why did you say yes at all?”

“Because it’s yes no matter what.”

“For real?”

I nod and his hand falls from his hair and the smile is again lighting up his face. Right now, the way he’s sitting here, his lips lifted, his eyes shining, I’m pretty sure he’s giving the sun a run for its money. Not because he’s brighter than it or something cheesy like that, but because the way he looks right now rivals it in how important it is to me.

I spend a lot of time outside just watching and the best time to do that is
during spring and summer when the sun is so high and bright in the sky that it just lights up everything around it. It’s kind of the same thing Dillon’s doing right now. He’s so bright that he’s lighting up everything around him, including me.

Maybe it’s cheesy after all.

“Will you be with me Caddy?”

Answering my question with one of his own, he’s given me exactly what I need. He doesn’t just want to go on a date with me, he wants to be with me. Gone is the awkwardness from before, even though the words he said still linger with me, and in its place is the confidence I’ve come to recognize as distinctly Dillon.

“Yes.”

His hand moves then, releasing mine and for a split second, my heart drops in my chest. Distance, even something as small as him moving his hand away doesn’t feel right. It’s only when both of his hands make their way around my back and my body moves forward that I realize what he’s doing.

He’s hugging me.

As the seconds pass wrapped
tightly in his arms, the distance between us on the bench lessened considerably with the move, I enjoy the way it feels being this close to him. The scent of his sweat mixed with a cologne I can’t place wrapping itself around me as easily as his arms just had until the only thing I can sense in any way is him.

Pulling back just a litt
le, he brings his hand to my face and running his finger in a small trail from my ear, all the way across my cheek, he comes to rest at my lips and looking up, I can see that his eyes are locked on the place where his finger lies and I find myself wondering what he’s thinking. Before I can open my mouth and ask him though, he leans down and presses his lips to mine and all thoughts, all questions fade away until all I can feel, taste and smell is him.

I place my hand on his chest, feeling the same vibration I did the first time we kissed this way and I ache to be able to hear what it sounds like. The intensity of all of my other senses, joining together the way they are as I kiss him back, quickly squashes it until it becomes more than enough. For the first time in my life, even though I can’t hear, everything is completely right.

I’m a completely normal girl; one who’s in serious danger of falling in love with this angry, beautiful boy.