Heart Burn (4 page)

"Not in the least." No more than usual anyway.

Jack held the lace ruffled of my sleeve away from the spot. "Do you wish to lie down?"

"I've just gotten up!"

"Nevertheless, you should stay seated for a few minutes," Langley said. "Bollard."

The servant seemed to need no instructions. He took the handles of the wheelchair and began pushing Langley out of the room.

"Wait," I called after them. Bollard stopped and swiveled the chair so Langley could see me. "What happens now?"

"Now I perform some tests on this." Langley indicated the syringe on the tray in his lap.

"How long will that take?"

"It depends on the results."

I gritted my teeth and tried again. "Are you making progress?"

"Somewhat."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I've made some progress."

The man was being evasive just to vex me. I was certain of it. "How much? Do you think you're on the path to finding a cure?"

"Hannah, be patient."

"
Patient
!" The word exploded from my lips. "How can I be patient at a time like this? In case you haven't noticed, I'm
dying
, Mr. Langley."

"Calm down," he snapped.

Samuel's hand rested on my shoulder. I shrugged it off. "I apologize if my hysteria bothers you, but I find it difficult to maintain composure when my life may end in a matter of days." Hot blood thumped through my veins like a raging torrent. My hands suddenly felt like they were on fire and before I could stop it, a spark shot from my fingertip.

Samuel stamped it out before it could burn the rug. My temper dampened instantly. I didn't want to set fire to the house. I'd already done that once, and the consequences were still visible. Besides, it made me sweat in uncomfortable places and weaken further. I flapped my hand near my face until Jack fetched the latest copy of the
Young Ladies Journal
and took over the flapping for me.

"It isn't a matter of days," Langley said with a sigh. "You'll have a few weeks yet, I'm sure."

"
How
can you be sure? For all we know, Tate may already be dead. I won't be far behind, will I?" I couldn't control the words. They flowed out of me, propelled by frustration and anxiety.

"We can't know that," Langley said quietly.

"Precisely! We can't know anything." I stood, unsure what I wanted to do. Perhaps shake him until the formula for a cure fell out of his head, or simply get the point across that I was desperate, in case he couldn't tell from the high pitch of my voice.

But all I did was sit back down on the sofa again as dizziness swamped me.

"Hannah." Jack's voice, close to my ear, rumbled low and deep in his chest. It soothed me somewhat. "Breathe." I closed my eyes and drew air into my lungs several times before the dizziness faded.

"Put your head down," Samuel said, pressing his cool hand to the back of my neck and forcing me to lean forward.

I obeyed even though the position felt awkward, particularly with the tight waist of my gown restricting movement. Thank goodness I'd eschewed corsets of late.

"Forgive me," I muttered into my skirt. "I shouldn't have spoken like that. I appreciate everything you're doing for me, Mr. Langley."

"He's gone, Hannah." Jack sounded almost apologetic. "It's all right. He knows you're upset. He won't take it to heart."

"Is that because he doesn't have a heart?" I couldn't resist the jest. Then I burst into tears.

"Hannah," he murmured. He didn't say anything else, nor did he have to. His solid presence was enough. It was reassuring having him by my side, taking care of me, worrying about me. It made me feel like I was the most precious thing in the world.

My breathing finally calmed and the heat and dizziness subsided. I sat up and noticed that Samuel had left too. Jack and I were alone on the sofa together. He gave me an uncertain smile.

"I'll fetch you something to drink," he said.

"I'm all right. Stay with me a few moments." We sat side by side without speaking. Although I wasn't looking at him, I could feel his gaze on me. He was probably worried that I was going to faint.

"I forgot to ask Langley if he needs me to stay here instead of going to London," I said, breaking the silence. "He might want to perform more tests."

"I'll ask him, but I'm sure he doesn't. He would have said so."

"I know. But I'd like to be certain. I wouldn't want to delay his work."

"I'll remain too if you're staying. I'm not going anywhere without you."

"Thank you, Jack. You're wonderful."

He blushed, which I found adorably sweet. "Do me a favor and tell Sylvia that. It'll irritate her no end to hear it."

I laughed. "Speaking of Sylvia, I'd better see if she's all right."

We walked together and parted company outside Langley's door. Jack knocked and went in while I continued along the corridor to Sylvia's room. I was about to put fist to wood when the door opened. Tommy stood there, gawping at me. He looked quite horrified to have been caught in a place he certainly should not have been.

"Tommy!" I was so surprised to see him that I stared back, lost for words.

"I, uh…Miss Smith. I was just…" He shut his mouth and swallowed heavily. Clearly I wasn't the only one lost for words.

The door widened and Sylvia appeared. Her face was flushed, and her eyes sparkled like sapphires. "I was feeling unwell, and Tommy came to see if I needed anything." She pressed the back of her hand to her forehead, and avoided my gaze. "Thank you for the offer of tea, Tommy, but I'm quite all right now." She opened the door wider. "You may go."

"Um…"

"
Go!
"

He slipped past me. I stared after him as he walked down the corridor. I wanted to see if he looked back, but Sylvia dragged me into the room. She shut the door and leaned back against it.

"Sylvia? Are you quite all right? You look—" I was going to say unwell, but that wasn't quite true. "Troubled. What was Tommy really doing here?"

She pushed off from the door and threw herself on her bed. She reclined on her side and tucked her slippered feet up. "I told you. He followed me here to see if I needed anything."

Since when did that require him entering her bedroom
and
shutting the door? I found the whole situation utterly confounding. She wouldn't allow anything of an intimate nature to happen, not with a servant. The very thought would be abhorrent to her. Yet that was how it appeared. Very curious.

"But Sylvia—"

"I don't want to discuss it any further," she bit off. "Let's talk about other things.
Better
things. Like London and the ball. I cannot wait to dance with a
real
gentlemen."

"Samuel is a real gentleman. You've danced with him in practice."

She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Yes, of course he is. I meant real,
normal
gentlemen. Ones who don't mesmerize women."

"Samuel is a hypnotist not a mesmerist, and he's equally capable of hypnotizing men as well as women. Any mesmerizing of ladies is purely due to his charming nature."

She was no longer listening. Her gaze had grown distant, unfocused. She lay back against the pillows and sighed deeply.

"Jack has gone to ask your uncle if I need to stay at Frakingham for more tests," I said. "Shall we wait until we have his answer or start packing?"

"Hmmm. Yes. I'll join you in a moment."

I gave a little shake of my head and left her. So much for Sylvia being the open book of the household. It would appear she was as capable of being as mysterious as anyone.

***

Nightfall came early in December. It gave Jack and me the opportunity to walk to the lake together before dinner without being seen. Not that I cared, but I knew Sylvia did. I told Jack about her strange response to being discovered with Tommy in her room. I thought he might be outraged. As her cousin, he had every right to be. But he seemed curious about their secret meetings when I told him.

"Do you think they're having a dalliance?"

"Sylvia and Tommy?" He laughed, his breath a frosty puff in the freezing air. "I doubt it. I can't imagine Tommy wanting to be in the company of someone who looks down on him as much as she does. Sylvia can't stand him unless he's saving her life or bringing her tea."

"You're right. It is absurd." I dismissed the idea. Whatever they were doing, it was not what Jack and I did when we were in the lake together. "So what did Langley say?"

"He won't need any more blood from you for a few days. He said we should go to London."

"Oh? Does that mean he's had a breakthrough with the tests he performed today?"

"I don't know." His voice was thin, drawn out. "You know what he's like. He gives nothing away."

We reached the lake's edge and shed our shoes on a grassy patch. The mist hadn't had the chance to burn off during the day, and it became thicker now that the air had turned even colder. It clung to the inky lake surface like a spectral blanket in the moonlight.

I set my pack of dry clothes down, and Jack did the same with his pack. I already wore my bathing costume beneath my coat. Sylvia had helped me fashion one from an old shift and pair of men's trousers. It was quite a hideous outfit, hence the coat I'd thrown around me to hide it, but it was more practical in the water than skirts. Jack wore shirt and trousers, held up with suspenders.

Clouds passed across the moon, but I could still make out his silhouette. He held his hand out toward the lake and bowed. "Your bath awaits, Miss Smith."

"Why, thank you, sir. Shall we?"

My toes squelched in the mud that soon gave way to pebbles. The icy water soothed my skin, deliciously soothing. I stood still for a moment and sighed with contentment. It made me realize how hot and uncomfortable I'd been in the house.

As soon as we were hip-deep, Jack touched my elbow. Heat flared, but there were no sparks. He guided me in further, holding me in case I slipped on the rocks. As soon as the water reached his waist and my breasts, he drew me close.

He kissed me without words or warning. It was a tender kiss, filled with longing and sadness that made my heart ache. I pressed my hands to the back of his head, keeping him there, right where I wanted him. My nipples peaked beneath my damp shift and brushed against his hard body. He sucked air between his teeth, and I knew he wanted to touch me there, as I wanted to touch him. But we couldn't. From previous experiments, we knew deeper intimacy would cause my heat to reach unbearable levels. The risk was too great, which was why we'd decided to keep our clothes on. Even Jack's shirt was a necessity. The sight of his broad shoulders and muscles was enough to set my fever rising.

"I've missed you," he said, stopping the kiss before the heat became too much. He did not pull away entirely. We'd found that we could hold one another for a long time. It wasn't enough for either of us to be completely satisfied, but it was better than nothing.

"We were in the lake only last night," I said, smiling against his lips.

"Too long ago. I want to be with you all the time, and not just here." He kissed me lightly and retreated a little. I wished I could see his eyes, but it was too dark to see more than their shine. I did know he was watching me. "I want to lie in your arms, Hannah, and feel your skin against mine. I want to make you mine in every way."

"I am yours," I said, breathless. "Always."

He kissed me again, harder. All our frustrations and sorrow poured out of us in that kiss. I couldn't get enough of him, nor he of me. I wanted him closer, wanted all of him, in the most carnal way possible. It was wrong—my thoughts were not at all appropriate for a pure young lady—yet I didn't care. All I could think about was claiming Jack and being claimed by him.

A surge of heat suddenly blasted from my hands. Jack's body jerked with the shock and he fell back. Water splashed in my eyes. I blinked and rubbed them. When my vision cleared, Jack was nowhere to be seen.

CHAPTER 3

"Jack?" I called out. No answer. No splashes. "Jack!" I stepped forward, reaching under the inky black water, searching.

Nothing.

I took another step, another. Surely the blast hadn't propelled him so far away from me. Oh God, where was he? My heart pounded in my chest. My throat tightened. I tried to scream his name, but it came out as a sob.

My hands dug through the water, feeling around. But there was only the endless, empty lake.

I slipped on a rock and slid under the surface, but did not stop searching. He had to be here somewhere, unconscious. The alternative was too horrible.

Combustion.

I paddled as best as I could, using feet and arms to feel for him. The lake's icy fingers wrapped around my chest and squeezed. I'd never felt colder.

I touched something. Hair! A head and body too! I grabbed him by the shoulders and hauled him up. I listened for breathing, but it was difficult to hear anything over my own ragged breaths. "Jack? Jack?" I thumped his back in the hope that would clear his airways, but in truth, I didn't know what to do.

Finally, after what seemed an age, he spluttered. A cough wracked him. Coughing was good. I wrapped my arm around his waist and supported him until it subsided. There were no sparks this time. We needed desire for that, and I was simply too relieved to have any passionate thoughts.

"I'm fine," he said eventually, his voice rough. "You?"

I nodded, too choked with tears to speak. I didn't know if he saw it in the dark, but he didn't ask again.

"What happened?" he asked after my tears subsided.

"An enormous spark shot from me. Jack, we need to be more careful. I don't think we can do this anymore."

"Don't say that, Hannah."

"It's too dangerous. You were under water a long time. I couldn't find you. What if next time…?"

He brushed his knuckles lightly down my cheek then pulled away from me entirely. "Very well. We'll be more careful." He swore and punched the water. "I hate this."

"He'll find a cure. Don't worry."