Heart in the Field (17 page)

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Authors: Jillian Dagg

BOOK: Heart in the Field
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Session one was over.

           
Seth rose from his chair and
stretched his long arms. “I hear you’re going out late tonight. You can stay at
my place, if you want.”

           
She thought this might be her
opportunity for a closer relationship with her brother. “Thanks. I didn’t expect
to actually go out late at night.”

           
Seth smiled. “I don’t think Nick
does anything that anyone expects.”

           
Serena glanced over to where Nick
was talking to Fred Dexter, the sound man who would go with them tonight. “You
might be right. What do you think of him?”

           
“I like him. And I know exactly what
you’re thinking. I’m not comparing them. There’s a huge generation gap. I know
because I’ve read Dad’s book.”

           
“Possibly that’s true.”

           
“It is true.” He reached in his
pocket for a set of keys. He pressed his spare loft key into her palm. “I’ll
see you later. Take care.”

           
Serena watched him go, feeling good
about having her brother in her life once again. It reminded her of when he was
a little boy and she’d often been asked to care for him when
Reeva
was busy.

           
She tucked the key into her purse
and went upstairs to her office to call Ginny to ask her to look in on Pascal,
to feed him that evening and in the morning. When her personal affairs had been
taken care of, she logged on to her computer, checked her e-mail, answered a
few messages, and then made some notes to herself about the meeting.
Bad Men, Good Women
.
She thought the title had a resonance, and it sort of gave her idea a solid
base. So she would have to get moving on it.

           
She leafed through her old address
book. When she’d been in university she’d shared an apartment with two other
women, Rita Mason and Angela Turner. Angela’s addresses had all been stroked
out, which was unfortunate as Angela was the woman who had fallen in love with
the prisoner, and thus the friend Serena needed to contact. However, she knew
Rita was a broker with a local real estate office. She put through a call to
Rita and was told Rita would be paged with the message to call Serena back.
Rita would likely be surprised to hear from Serena after a number of years of
silence.

           
As she hung up the phone she heard
the outer door click and Nick glanced into her office.

           
“Hi.”

           
“Hi.” She closed her address book.
“Everything went well, didn’t it?”

           
“Yes.” He dug his fingers into his
back pockets. “Don didn’t have much choice but to go along with want we want.
We’re his way out of a sticky patch. He’s put a lot of resources into this
show. We have to perform. And Cam seems
amenable enough.”

           
“That’s all true. I thought Seth did
well.”

           
“Absolutely.
He’s talented up to his eyeballs. You’re quite the family.”

           
“Want to do documentaries on all of
us, then?” Serena regretted the question as soon as the words emerged from her
mouth.

           
His gaze rested on her. “If we do
the one on your father then you’ll get a mention.”

           
“No way.”

           
“That you don’t want a mention?”

           
“No way are we doing a documentary
on my father. I’m not giving permission.”

           
“What if your mother and brother
give permission?”

           
“They won’t. Mother can’t have her
dirty laundry aired because she’s in politics, and Seth doesn’t want a black
cloud at the launch of his career.”

           
Nick withdrew one hand from one
pocket and touched the doorpost. His brow furrowed. “Did he beat the family or
something?”

           
Serena gasped. “No. Don’t even think
it. I’m talking about mental anguish. Someone you love being away from you all
the time.”

           
“That’s what I thought it was. You
felt neglected by him. I understand.”

           
“No. You don’t. You’re the same type
as Dad, Nick. The only crime you haven’t committed that he did is saddle
yourself with a family.
How selfish to have a wife and child
at home and never be there for them.”

           
“I read in his book that your
father’s parents died when he was a teenager. He could have needed the
stability of the home in his mind.”

           
“Don’t excuse him. When he was an
adult he should have seen the damage he was doing. Instead he ignored it. He
came home each time with a suitcase full of beautiful gifts from all the
countries he’d visited. It felt like the way Christmas feels when you’re a
kid.”

           
“I wouldn’t know.”

           
Serena stopped ranting from her pain
and looked at him. “You weren’t excited when you were a kid?”

           
“I wanted to be, but I couldn’t be
because there was nothing for me to be excited about.”

           
“Didn’t your parents have Christmas for
you?”

           
His knuckles were now taut around
the doorpost. “I have a lot of pain in my past as well, Serena. I understand
where you are coming from. Never think I don’t.”

           
“But you have two parents, don’t
you?”

           
He released his hand from the post
and returned it to the back pocket of his jeans. He let out a breath. “Yes. I
do.”

           
“Then you don’t understand, Nick.
You can’t.”

           
“Have it your own way. I’m going to
do some work for a while.”

           
Serena nodded. She felt shaken
because she had bared some of her soul to Nick, shaken because Nick had almost
told her something about himself. Something she wanted to know more about.

           
The click of Nick’s keyboard was
constant. He didn’t seem to need time to contemplate his work the way she did.
Were ideas flowing that fast? Didn’t their heated conversation bother him? It
was as if each time they got together they exposed one more section of their
minds and lives to one another. It wasn’t only physical, it was also mental.
That invisible cord connection was pulling her closer to him in short tugs.

           
Her phone rang and she picked up the
receiver. As soon as she heard Rita’s voice she was in control again. This was
work.

           
“It’s great to hear from you,” Rita
said. “Want to do lunch?”

           
“Yes. I’ll do lunch. Also, I want a
favor. Do you have Angela’s address or phone number?”

           
“Nope.
I’ve
now lost track of her. But I know where her brother, Max is because I saw him
the other day.”

           
“Then you do have something.” Serena
prodded her friend, who always said she didn’t know anything before she brought
up her trump card. “Where did you see him?”

           
“On the street.”

           
On the street?
Serena recalled the man with the black hair who had reminded her of Angela.
“Did you talk to him?”

           
“No way.”

           
“Why not if it was
Max?”

           
“I gave him some money, Serena. He’s
been in and out of prison all his life. It’s a shame. He’s a good looking guy
and he plays a mean guitar on

Yonge
Street
near College.”

           
So the man she’d seen that day had
been Max. “Did he recognize you?”

           
“No. I don’t think so.”

           
“But you recognized him?”

           
“Yes. He looks like Angela, with
long black hair. Anyway, he’s obviously dropped out of society. While I always
give street people money, I wish something could be done about them on a larger
more political scale.”

           
“Don’t
we
all.” Serena decided that their conversation sounded far too trivial for the
serious nature of the plight of poverty. “We were going to do a series called
City Streets
for my
new show
Neon Nights
, but it got vetoed.”

           
“That’s too bad. Things need to be
said. Anyway, I have a client coming in.
So how about lunch?”

           
Serena checked her calendar on her
cell phone even though she knew everything she would be doing over the next few
days. Thursday evening was looming. “How about Friday lunch at The Bear’s
Pause
?” By then Thursday would be over. She’d be either a
success or a failure.

           
“Perfect. I’ll meet you at the
entrance at one.”

           
“I’ll be there.” Serena hung up the
phone and pushed her fist into the air. She had a lead.

           
If only she’d paid more attention
that day when she’d sat in her car and watched the man who could possibly be
Angela’s brother. Now she needed to see him. Did she have time for a walk down

Yonge
Street
?
She looked out of the window. The rain had stopped and the sun was trying to
shine. She could do with some fresh air. Quickly she put on her jacket. When
she passed Nick’s office, she noticed the door was closed. At least he didn’t
see her leave. But then why should he care if she left? He might be her co-host
but he wasn’t her keeper. This was her life.
Her job.
Her story.

           
A man was wrapped in a bundle of
cloth, snuggled close to a building, another man sold magazines, but there was
no Max.

           
Serena walked back through dogged
crowds to the Steel
Tower, feeling let down.
She had to speak to him. Otherwise she’d never find Angela.
Unless
she phoned all the Turners in the Toronto
phone book.
She might have to resort to that.

           
When she arrived back, she saw Nick
had left his office. Well, it was lunchtime. She hung up her coat and sat down
at her desk. She opened an old file on her computer and began to read some
notes she’d written on Angela. She thought she had her lover’s name somewhere.
Not that it would help. Angela must have moved on from that event in her life.
However, Serena thought that by looking at the name once more it might revive
her own memories and help her with her approach to the story. She came to the
end of the document. At the bottom she found the name she wanted: Lawson
Thomson.

Chapter Ten

With her
research notes strewn around her desk, Serena began her script for
Bad Men, Good Women.

           
She realized she was a bit rusty at
this type of journalism. She’d always been a fairly fluent writer, but, after
having read the news for the past six years, she wasn’t exactly in touch with
her creative side. No wonder she had left most of the story ideas to John. She
wasn’t doing a good job with this one. She needed more focus. And that focus
should be Angela, because Angela was the one woman who interested her the most.

           
She heard Nick’s keyboard still
going. What did he find to write? How did he let the mundane studio skills go
so his mind wandered into a story?
Because that’s what she
needed to learn how to do.
It was a skill she’d lost, somewhere between
her news van days and her news anchor hours. It was a skill her father had
possessed, because she remembered him hunched over a portable typewriter on a
tiny desk in a corner. He hadn’t even had the ease of a computer. How many
books would he have produced by now, if he’d lived?

           
Damn. She pushed her palm against
her forehead. Why did Nick have to come into her life and destroy her peace of
mind?

           
Her mind keenly attuned to the other
office, she suddenly heard the keyboard in the adjoining office finally halt.
The next thing she knew Nick was on her sofa and was gunning her with his cool
gaze.

“Want to go
for dinner?”

           
Seth was right. Serena was never
sure of what Nick was going to come up with next. She hadn’t got over their
last heated exchange yet. She needed distance from him. “It’s okay. Go ahead.
I’ll grab something from the staff cafeteria.”

           
He lounged deeper into the sofa. “I
didn’t know there was a staff cafeteria.”

           
“It’s on the fifth floor. They do
good hot food as well as sandwiches. Has no one showed you around?”

           
“No one has shown me much at all. But
I think I’d prefer The Bear’s Pause again.”

           
He shifted restlessly. Serena
couldn’t help letting her gaze flow over his taut, sexy body. As usual the
sight of him set off sparks inside her and she wanted to reach out and touch
him.

           
“Come to the pub with me. I’m
beginning to have a real problem.”

           
“What type of problem?” She knew she
was probably playing into some sort of scheme Nick had in mind.

           
“Culture shock.
Europe versus North America.
Half my head is still overseas.”

           
“So that’s your problem. I wondered
why you looked so strange today.”

           
He grinned.
“Funny,
honey.
Just come to the pub with me. Then I need a drive over to the
garage to pick up my car.”

           
Serena raised an eyebrow. “Ah, so
that’s the reason you want me to have a meal with you.”

           
He chuckled. “I also want a ride in
your Porsche. Please.”

           
As long as Nick remained friendly,
like he was now, she’d be fine with him. She certainly wasn’t going to be able
to ignore him. She’d go with her old opinion that maybe the better she knew him
the less mystery he would hold.

           
They went to The Bear’s Pause and
Serena ate fish and chips, the same as Nick. As they ate they discussed the
earlier meeting and the way they might structure tonight’s show. Serena also
surprised herself by coming up with lots of good points. She hoped this was a
clue that her creative juices were now stirring.

           
Afterward they walked to her Porsche
in the Steel lot. It was when Nick had strapped on the seatbelt in the low
passenger seat that Serena felt the wallop of him against her senses. He was
snug beside her in the bulky leather jacket, and she couldn’t move to change
gear without her own arm brushing his.

           
“Where do we have to go?” Her voice
shuddered with the force of all the feelings. She almost suggested they go to
his place and try out his idea for great sex.

           
He turned sideways, his shoulders
broad and hunched. “If you take the next left, and then right at the first
lights,
it’s
a little gray building tucked in beside a
Greek restaurant.”

           
“You could have walked there.”

           
“No. I wanted to be with you.”

           
“Even after our
argument today?”

           
“That wasn’t an argument. That’s you
and me trying to come to terms with what’s happening between us.”

           
She had to agree with him. She bit
into her bottom lip.

           
“Turn here.”

           
She turned the car into a parking
lot.

           
“You can park up the side of the
building.”

           
Serena stopped the Porsche outside
the glass doors next to a silver Jaguar.

           
“That’s my car.”

           
Even though her car was stopped, and
the engine turned off, she kept her hands on the steering wheel. “It’s really
nice. Are you actually going to drive it through the winter?”

           
“I doubt if I’ll be doing much
driving because I live so close to the Steel Tower.
And, if I do, I’ll try to avoid snowy, slushy days.”

           
“I hope so. I wouldn’t want to see a
great car like that rust out with all the salt they put on the roads.” She
wished he’d just leave her car so she could be alone and gather her wits about
her once more.

           
But he seemed in no hurry to leave
her. “What do you drive in the winter?”

           
“I have a four wheel drive Jeep in
my garage.”

           
He chuckled. “So you become Rural
Woman during the winter?”

           
Her fingers squeezed the wheel
tighter. “Yes. This car gets cleaned up and left alone until spring.”

           
“How long have you had it?”

           
She looked at him.
“This car?”

           
He was so close that he could kiss
her if he wanted to. It reminded her of the moments they had shared on the
picnic bench at the soirée.

           
“Yes.
This car.
How long?”
His eyes were like a flame flaring against
a piece of metal.

           
“Three years or so.”
She stumbled over the words. This wasn’t going to work. Whichever way she
decided she was going to act, she seemed to lose ground when she was with him.
She felt like she’d gone for a swim and couldn’t remember where to put her arms
and legs to glide through the water.

           
Nick moved forward until she was
enveloped by his warm body and the fragrant leather. Against her cheek was the
roughness of stubble. She closed her eyes and heard only their breathing.

           
“I can’t do it,” he said.

           
“Do what?” Yet she knew, because she
didn’t know if she could do it either.

           
His lips kissed her jaw just below
her ear. A shiver ran through her and her body trembled. “Keep away from you,
be business-like, be whatever and not have any hanky-panky. I still want you.”

           
Then he moved away, opened the door
and got out of her car. He leaned back in the door and she thought his
expression was full of pain. She saw her hand move through the air, wanting to
touch him but of course he wasn’t there anymore. But she could still feel the roughness
of his jaw against her own soft skin. She felt branded by him.

           
He reached in and his hand grasped
hers. “Thanks for the lift. I’ll see you at Steel tonight.”

           
Serena’s fingertips tingled with
desire.
“At eleven?”

           
“I’ll be there all evening.”

           
“I’m going to Seth’s place for the
night. I’ll go there first and come along afterward.”

           
“Great. You have a place to go.” He
let her hand slip away from his.

           
Serena saw a mechanic come out of
the glass doors and Nick glanced at him. He looked back at Serena. “See you
later.”

           
He shut her door and she sat for a
moment, getting her breath back. Then she turned her car around in the small
lot. She drove out on to the road, looking in her rearview mirror to see Nick
talking to the mechanic.


           
Nick barely concentrated on the
mechanic’s rundown on the car. All he could think about was being with Serena
in the Porsche. He was setting himself up to be a bloody target, he thought as
he finally got into his own car and he settled back against the red leather
seat.

           
He drove around the city for a
while, exploring a place he realized he had missed. There was only one local
school he’d ever attended, but he drove by the brick elementary school to see
what he recalled of that early time in his life. He remembered being bundled up
in a snowsuit and stumbling through the snow on short legs. A rather happy
time, he thought. A few years later he’d become more aware of what was going on
in his family life. Suddenly he’d suspected that the cool treatment he received
wasn’t quite normal.
          

           
The school was only a block from
Fraser’s Precious Gems, and he stopped the car on the road near the store.
Should he go and visit his parents?

           
He decided to visit, but found there
was no answer at the door, so they must be out. He didn’t know where they would
be. In April he’d found them without a car because of Stephen’s health and his
mother’s inability to drive. He thought they were in walking distance of the
subway, so maybe they’d gone shopping.

           
The store was open until eight in
the evening, so he pushed on the wooden door. When he was a kid the windows had
been shiny and open, now they were set with bars and alarms. The interior of
the store was dark and full of brown wood. Occasionally a piece of silver or
gold jewelry would glitter in any meager stream of light.
           

           
The smell was musty.

           
The man his father had working for
him, Tim Masters, was sitting behind the counter repairing a watch. He was a
tall, elongated man, with small, oval glasses through which he squinted at his
work. He had graduated from college as a jewelry designer, and this job for
Nick’s father was a part time pursuit in his own pursuit for fame.

           
“How’s it going?” Nick asked when
Tim’s attention had left the watch and his watery eyes were focused on Nick.

           
“Fine.
Just fine.”
He poked at the watch innards with a long
finger. “We live off watch repairs these days.”

           
“Then it’s not fine.”

           
“No. Your father hasn’t been able to
pay me for three weeks.”

           
Nick wasn’t surprised. He found out
how much Tim was owed and wrote him a check.

           
If my father sells this place, I’ll
make sure you have six months’ pay to give you time to get another job or
whatever you want to do.”

           
Tim looked pleased with the check,
but gave him a skeptical look. “That’s kind of you, but do you think he’s going
to sell?”

           
“I’m pushing for it. Neither of my
parents
are
healthy.”

           
“You’re right. Your mother can
barely cope with the hospital visits. I try to help with the groceries, but he
likes the store open the full hours.” Tim shook his head. “I can’t help when
there’s no business. No money.”

           
“Absolutely.”

           
Tim began to fiddle with the watch
parts again.

           
“See you later.” Nick remembered
speaking the same words to Serena a while back.

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