Heart Matters (34 page)

He was looking at her with a satisfied smile
on his face. “I thought it’d look good on you,” he said,
deliberately referring only to the lingerie he had bought her. “I
wanted you to have it. It’s a gift from me.”

She blushed. “Thanks.” She dropped the
clothes back in the bag and turned to face him trying to appear
unaffected. “Okay, what’s for lunch? I’m hungry.”

They lunched on chicken pie, chicken wings
and baked vegetables in white sauce. Jessica lauded herself for
finishing the last morsel without once wanting to throw. But then
the food she had just gobbled had not really been on the top ten
for her. For some after food beverage, they brewed fresh coffee and
sat sipping it in silence. White sunshine filtered through the
kitchen window lighting Jessica’s hair with copper highlights. She
seemed unaware of the attractive figure she made and Steven eyed
her surreptitiously cherishing the memorable sight. She caught him
staring and colored delicately.

His lips parted in a teasing chuckle. She
stared at him in surprise. “Relax, Jessica. I told you I wouldn’t
lunge at you.”

She went a deep scarlet. “I know.”

“Then why are you so edgy?” His blue depths
regarded her seriously. “Are you bothered by me?”

Bothered? Disturbed, devastated, yes, but
bothered? Not really. “The food was good. Thank you, again”, she
said avoiding his question altogether.

Steven couldn’t stand it any longer. She was
behaving as if he was a mere acquaintance who she had bumped into.
Where was the passionate woman who had responded with abandon in
his arms? He reached out to cover her hand that lay on the table.
She flinched and tried to pull it away but he tightened his grip.
“Jessica?” The gray eyes avoided his compelling blue depths.

“Aunt Jessi?” Jamie’s soft voice called from
above giving Jessica the excuse to push to her feet.

Steven released her, watching her rush out
of the room with a hard set of his mouth. What was her problem? Was
she still trying to make him the villain he wasn’t? Surely she had
read the papers and knew Ida was not a part of his life. He frowned
deeply at the thought. Jessica, you’re proving to be one mystifying
challenge, he said to himself.

The hard jaw set in a determined line. Well,
it was one challenge he was taking up right now. He had spent an
agonizing month trying to find some excuse to call her and see if
there was a second chance for them. He had come up with none and
given in to his bruised ego that suggested he wait for her to call.
But now she was here. It was a god-given opportunity and he wasn’t
about to let it go.
You’re mine, Jessica,
he mouthed
silently,
all mine
.

Jessica ran all the way to the room, her
heart pounding wildly. This could not be happening! His touch had
once again burned her, threatening to scorch her heart. Her
reaction scared her. Over the days, she had vowed to erase every
memory she had of Steven. That was the only way she’d be safe. That
was the only way she could keep her child with her. Her hands flew
to her stomach in panic. If he came to know she was carrying his
child, he’d never let her go! He’d take it away from her!

“Aunt Jessi, I’m hungry,” Jamie complained
and she tried to face him calmly. She was white faced when she woke
up Mallory. By the time the kids had washed up, she had composed
herself. She was not going to give in to Steven’s charms, she
decided. Only a couple of weeks were left and then she’d be safely
in Paris.

She accompanied the children downstairs,
holding her head defiantly rigid. He had cleared the table and
welcomed the children rather noisily. The delighted children ate
every bit off their plates amazing Jessica. At home, she would have
to wrestle each morsel down their throats but with Steven, they
seemed just too pleased to have him talking to them and ate without
a whimper of protest.

After they had eaten, Steven drove them to
the wharf where Jessica had parked her car. She drove it back
following his car with unhidden admiration. The kids wouldn’t leave
him for a minute. They had refused to accompany her in her car and
she could make out they were singing boisterous songs all the way
back to his house.

She cried unintentionally, her heart longing
for him treacherously. She would never see him play in the same
manner with their child. Her heart told her on impulse to reveal
her pregnancy to him and face the consequences. At least her child
would have its father.
But what would you have?
, she asked
herself,
you’ve already lost Steven and you’ll also lose your
child.
No, she couldn’t tell him. Not now. Not ever.

Once in the house they settled down to watch
a cartoon channel in the lounge. Steven sat on the couch with
Mallory on one side and Jamie on the other. Jessica chose a large
beanbag and flopped on to it. She fell asleep watching the three of
them enjoying themselves. She was soon dreaming. Dreaming of a blue
eyed, golden haired boy who sat in his father’s lap laughing gaily.
Steven swung the boy high and she reached out in alarm
. “Be
careful!”

Jessica sat up with a start to find Steven,
Mallory and Jamie staring at her in surprise. She blushed as
Steven’s brow rose mockingly. “Nightmare?”

“No,” she mumbled, trying to get out of the
beanbag. She only seemed to sink deeper and fumbled about awkwardly
to get proper support. He suddenly left his seat to help her. She
rose rapidly by the force of his pull, colliding with the hard wall
of his chest. His arms came about her, crushing her soft form
against his firm one. She gasped in shock, staring up into his grim
face. He was watching her intensely, raw desire shinning in his
blue depths.

It mesmerized her, sending warm color to her
cheeks. His head bent towards her while her face lifted to his. His
warm breath was on her lips when they heard the giggles. They came
crashing to earth almost instantly and broke apart. Steven kept his
arm around Jessica’s shoulders, grinning easily at the kids.
Jessica was too embarrassed to say anything.

Mallory’s baby blue eyes shone with impish
humor. “That’s okay, Uncle Steven. You can go ahead and kiss Aunt
Jessi like you did at your wedding,” she announced seriously even
as Jamie nodded.

“Mallory!” Jessica exclaimed while Steven
chuckled loudly. She turned on him annoyed. “Don’t laugh! It’s not
funny!”

“Is too,” he threw back, grinning ear to
ear.

She stared at him for one infuriating minute
then turned on her heel and stalked off. So he found embarrassing
her before the kids was funny, did he? Well, she didn’t think so!
She went into the kitchen and wept helplessly. She wanted to run
away. Somewhere far away where Steven Hart couldn’t find her. Her
stomach abruptly churned in protest. It had suffered enough during
the day and couldn’t hold back any longer. Jessica clamped a hand
on her mouth to run to the nearest washroom.

Steven watched in alarm as she bolted past
him out the kitchen door. He had followed her to apologize but she
didn’t give him the opportunity. He saw her rush into the guest
bathroom and heard her throw up. He followed her in without
invitation and stroked her back as he had once before. “Jessica,
what’s wrong? Are you all right?”

She nodded as he helped her to her feet. She
washed up, her eyes large in her pale face. “I’m fine, just fine,”
she declared, storming past him, “Just leave me alone and I’ll be
much better!”

He didn’t restrain her but watched her
curiously. He couldn’t believe she was so bothered by him that she
had taken ill. This was not the Jessica he knew. The real Jessica
knew how to give in to desire. She would never run away unless she
was hiding something.

“Any suggestions for dinner?” Steven asked
brightly as two pairs of eyes watched him hesitantly. It was early
evening and Jessica had not come down after she had run out
earlier. The children had not reacted to his announcement that
their aunt was suddenly sick. Instead, they had spent the hours
playing games with him. He found their calm attitude a bit
surprising but chose not to ask anything. Now as he saw the doubt
in their eyes, he couldn’t help but feel anxious about Jessica.
“What’s wrong?” he asked simply, trying to be tactful.

Mallory shrugged, looking unsure. “Aunt
Jessi is never sick for this long every day.”

Steven struggled to hide the panic that
suddenly rose in his heart. “Every day? Your aunt’s sick every
day?”

The blonde head nodded, as did Jamie’s brown
one. “She said she was ‘a bit unwell’ that’s all.”

“And that happens every day?”

The kids began giggling. “She goes blue when
she sees popcorn,” Mallory revealed trying not to laugh out loud,
“And she can’t stand Chinese food…”

“Or pancakes,” Jamie put in squealing with
laughter. The two began laughing now, reminding each other of more
instances of their aunt’s unfortunate state.

Steven watched them with mixed emotions. It
was clear the children were not alarmed by Jessica’s condition, as
it was an everyday occurrence. But what kind of an illness made her
throw up every day? And that too at the sight of her favorite
food.

He sat back frowning, thinking deeply. His
thoughts went back to their abandoned lovemaking. He had wanted her
so intimately, so desperately that he had never thought of taking
protection. And she had not objected. She had only given herself to
him, letting him love her with an innocence he cherished.

His hands began to shake with excitement.
She was carrying their child! Yes, that was it! He was going to be
a father! He almost leapt with joy before restraining himself. He
now realized she was hiding it from him for some unearthly reason.
But whatever the reason was, she was convinced it was justified. To
confront her could be suicidal. He might get the child but he would
lose her forever. He had to show her that he wanted her as well as
their child in his life.

With unconcealed enthusiasm, he gathered the
kids in his arms and kissed them both. “I didn’t know cupids came
in human form,” he announced, making them giggle louder.

For dinner, they went off to McDonald’s
without Jessica. Although Steven didn’t particularly care for junk
food, he ordered a large set just like the kids. They returned
later and he tucked the children into bed in a spare room next to
the one now being used by their aunt. They were thrilled with the
pajama suits he had got for them and went to sleep almost
immediately. Steven closed the door to their room before pausing
briefly outside Jessica’s. He wanted to barge in and make
passionate love to her but held back. No, he would wait for the
right time to make a move.

***

Somewhere in the middle of the night,
Jessica changed into the nightdress Steven had bought for her,
relishing the feel of the smooth silk against her skin. The thought
that he had picked it up with her in mind made it very special to
her. She tried to go back to sleep but found herself to be
restless. The house was silent and she knew the kids had long been
asleep. She also knew Steven had stood outside her door for a
while. Now he was gone and she was besieged with insomnia. She was
feeling agitated for some reason and she knew it had everything to
do with the fact that Steven was in the room next door.

She sat up brushing her hair out of her
face. A rumble in her stomach told her the agitation could also be
the result of her empty stomach. She could do with a midnight snack
she decided and left the room quietly. In the refrigerator, she
found the remnants of the chicken wings they had had for lunch.
Chicken wings had never tasted so wonderful she decided biting into
the cold meat. The night was silent and she switched on the radio
for some soft music.

And that was how Steven found her when he
entered the kitchen. Eyes closed, swaying to the strains of an old
Billy Joel number. His eyes traveled down the exposed neck where
her gown had fallen open and came to rest upon the soft swell of
her breasts just above the silk nightdress. The material was sheer
enough to show him that she was naked underneath. Desire ran
through him like a powerful tidal wave hitting shore with all its
fury. If he were a lesser man, he would have taken her right there
on the kitchen table. The fact that he wasn’t, exasperated him
tonight and he cleared his throat discreetly.

Jessica almost leapt out the window at the
sound. Her eyes flew open and she simply gawked at him. Then she
dove for the radio, turning it off. “I’m sorry; I didn’t know it
was loud. Did I disturb you?”

Steven stared at her endlessly, watching her
quivering lips and her wide vulnerable eyes. He moved finally,
covering the distance between them with a couple of strides. His
hands grasped her shoulders as he pulled her to her feet. His teeth
were clenched tightly while his eyes glittered dangerously. “What
are you doing, Jessica?”

She tensed, aware of the tight knot that was
beginning to form in the pit of her stomach. Desire. She desired
him. She longed for his touch, for his lips on her feverish skin.
His face was close to hers and he didn’t really look angry. “I was
hungry,” her voice revealed, cracking weakly.

He released her shoulders to wrap her slight
form in his arms. The silk of her clothing brushed against the
roughness of his. She noticed with surprise he was still completely
dressed as he was in the day. Steven drew her tantalizingly closer,
the rough material of his jeans unable to hide the evidence of his
desire. His mouth hovered over her lips. “Stop fighting me,
Jessica”

A soft whimper escaped her lips as he
claimed her mouth in a punishing kiss. He bit her lower lip and she
opened her mouth for his invading tongue. His hands reached under
the gown and pushed it off her shoulders to fall at their feet in a
whispery pile. She moaned molding herself to his heated form,
giving in to desire. His mouth left hers to trail kisses on the
smooth skin of her neck. “I want you, Jessica! I want you,
now!”