Heart Of Marley (18 page)

Forcing a smile across my mouth, I made my way down the steps, my eyes focused solely on Doug as he waited at the bottom. I completely blocked out everything else that was going on around me…the prying eyes, the voices, everything. The only thing that mattered was Doug and being near him. His presence calmed me when I was seconds away from cracking and letting everyone see what lay beneath the façade that had become Marley Jane Bowen.

“Hi, Marley Jane,” he said softly as I approached.

“Hello, Douglas.” I grabbed his arm and allowed him to escort me across the sprawling lawn and up to the stage, my eyes remaining glued to his the entire time. It hit me like a tidal wave. Doug was my peace. He was my calm. He was my home. The look of admiration in his eyes reminded me of the expression on my dad’s face when he would look at me. I never wanted to stop gazing into Doug’s eyes. I never wanted him to stop looking at me with that amount of devotion. With that look, I could get through anything. Finally.

T
HIS
PAST
MONTH
HAS
been one of the best that I can remember. Ever since the Introduction Gala all those weeks ago, I feel like a different girl…a new girl…a changed girl. And I think it’s Doug’s not love that’s done that. I think about him a lot. Probably more than I should, but I can’t help it. Isn’t that what not love is supposed to be like? Aren’t you supposed to have that person on your mind all the time? Because I do! I never saw myself getting close to someone, but there’s just something about Doug that almost makes me want to finally tell him about my past, despite my aunt’s request that I remain silent.

“Almost” is the key word here. I know that, at some point, I will have to. I’m just hoping that it’s in the future…the distant future. I’m worried that the truth will break his heart, and I’m not sure I’m ready to do that.

We’ve been back in school for nearly two months and I’m happy to have that routine in my life. Get up. Get dressed. Go to school. Sit in class. Go to dance. Go home. Go to work when I’m scheduled. Cue heart flutter when Doug unexpectedly walks through the doors of the boutique at which I work. We spend nearly every free moment together, which doesn’t seem to be a lot these days with all of my extra obligations for the Jessamine Court. But when I want to roll my eyes as I listen to the committee speak about what an honor it is for us to be chosen, I look down at my wrist and feel Doug’s not love. His not love is what gets me through those moments.

As I made my way to my Governments class this morning, I grinned when I saw Doug standing outside waiting for me. Walking up to him in his Halloween costume that consisted of hospital scrubs and a stethoscope, I faked passing out as I leaned against several lockers.

“Doctor Mullins, I feel faint. I think I need you to administer mouth-to-mouth.”

He curved toward me, his arm placed against the wall as he hovered over me. “We can’t have you feeling faint now, can we, Marley Jane? We need you to keep breathing.”

His lips brushed mine and spine-tingling chills spread through my body. Over the past few months, I had grown accustomed to his kisses, but each kiss was still different and unexpected. Each kiss still made me want to melt into a puddle at his feet, forcing me to become a blubbering mess.

“I’m so in not love with you, Douglas,” I exhaled as he ran his fingers against the contours of my body.

“And I’m so in not love with you. And you look rather hideous today in that getup. You really should not have worn that. I am all sorts of not turned on right now.”

I giggled, my face blushing as his eyes roamed my body in the tight little nurse’s costume I wore. Halloween was the one day of the year that we didn’t have to wear our school uniforms as long as we wore a costume. Pretty much the entire student body dressed up, enjoying the one-day reprieve from conformity.

“Well, good. Because I certainly did not want you to find me attractive today. Because then you would kiss me and I certainly do not enjoy the feel of your lips on mine. It repulses me.”

He leaned toward me again, his mouth just a breath away, warming my lips. “Oh, really?” he asked, his voice husky.

“Really,” I croaked out as the bell rang. He remained unmoving. “Doug, you’re going to be late.”

“You’re worth it.” His lips met mine just as the sound of someone banging on a locker startled both of us. We turned to see Mr. Monroe towering over us, his face severe.

“I’m sorry. Was I interrupting?”

“I apologize, sir,” Doug said, moving away from me.

“Be on your way, Mr. Mullins. Miss Bowen needs to get to class.”

He nodded and left, looking over his shoulder at me and winking.

I couldn’t help but grin in response, my heart ready to burst with not love.

“Miss Bowen?” a voice brought me back to the present.

“Sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.” I tried to walk past him and into the classroom.

He stepped in front of me, preventing me from doing so. “You see, that’s the thing. I have a feeling that it will happen again. And again. And again.”

I looked at him, remaining silent.

“No response? Where’s the smart-mouthed Marley Bowen that’s normally present? Or does Douglas bring out the obedient nature in you?” He grinned at me as if he was trying to make a joke, but I couldn’t help but feel extremely uncomfortable. No wonder Brianna’s mother left him. I wouldn’t want to remain married to a man that looked at every girl, legal or not, as if she was a conquest.

“I’m trying to turn over a new leaf, sir,” I said, a sardonic smile on my face.

“Ah,” he sighed. “There’s the Marley Bowen I’m used to. Go on then.” He gestured to the classroom. “One toe out of line in class today and I won’t hesitate to make you stay after school…as you should be doing anyway, but I’m in a forgiving mood.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

I entered the classroom, my hands shaking from the feel of his eyes burning my body, unable to brush the feeling that perhaps Mr. Monroe had something to do with Brianna’s unusual behavior. He had always been a bit odd. The girls at school swooned over him, but I just had this feeling that he had demons inside that he hid with the mask he wore…just like me. I was able to take the mask off on occasion, and maybe he did, too, and Brianna received the brunt of it.

Sitting at my desk, I attempted to pull the skirt of my costume down.

Mr. Monroe cleared his throat, getting everyone’s attention so that he could begin his lecture. “Now that the school year is underway, it’s time to talk about what you’ll be required to do for your senior project in this class.”

Groans sounded throughout the room.

“As we’ve talked about in the past, the basis of all government systems is law and order. Different governments base their laws on different principles. Here in the United States, we base our statutory code on the common law system. Years and years ago, before laws were codified and written down as such, what was right and what was wrong was determined by custom. We still do that to this day. Generally, that’s what a law is. It’s a customary way of dealing with certain situations. We see customs every day. Some we agree with, some we don’t.

“What I want you to do is find a custom, law, ordinance, or committee resolution that you disagree with on the local level here in Myrtle Beach. It could be anything that you feel strongly and passionately about. You will research this custom or law, you will find out the history of it, and you will write a paper about your findings and argue why that custom or law should no longer be in effect, or how you would change it to greater benefit society. You will give an oral presentation of your argument in the spring.”

“Mr. Monroe?” a voice said. The class turned their heads to see Brittany Hamilton with her hand raised. “So, it can really be anything?”

“That is what I just said, Miss Hamilton.”

“See, I heard this rumor… Well, Courtney told me about her sister who’s in a sorority or something at one of the colleges, and she said that her sister said that they have to have a guy live in the house so that it’s not considered a whore house or something like that. Would that count?”

We all turned to look at the exasperation plastered on Mr. Monroe’s face and I chuckled.

“I suppose…so long as you actually find the law or resolution and it is, in fact, true and not some fraternity boy’s way of being able to sleep in the same house with several women. Lucky bastard,” he said under his breath, the class erupting in laughter at his comment.

His eyes remained fixed on mine as if he was gauging my reaction. I had learned to simply remain neutral in this class. I did not want to draw attention to myself, but it seemed that, no matter what, he found a reason to look at me.

“Now, everyone grab your things and quietly head to the library. We’ll be spending the class period up there so you can start to research a topic for this project. And, from now on, every Friday, you are to report directly to the library so that you’re able to work on this during our class period. I’m being generous in permitting this so I expect you to all blow me away with your final presentations.”

“Marley!” I heard Carla shout as the class grabbed their bags and began to shuffle out of the room toward the library. I stopped and waited for her and Kristen. “Want to pair up with us?”

“I think this is supposed to be an individual project.”

“So? We all pick the same law or whatever and work on it together, but make sure our papers are just different enough so that Mr. Hottie doesn’t catch on…or maybe he does. I wouldn’t mind having to stay after class with him.”

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for the offer, but I actually think I want to do this one on my own.”

“What do you think you’re going to do?” Kristen asked.

I shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. I’ll figure something out.” I couldn’t tell them what I had planned. This was the perfect opportunity for me to finally say something. I had every intention of looking into all the traditions in place that surrounded the Jessamine Pageant and sound a call for change. I should have made a stand earlier.

“Y
A
COMING
, M
AR
?” I shouted up the stairs, waiting, as usual, for my sister to emerge.

“Be right down. Keep your goddamn pants on!”

“Marley Jane!” my aunt scolded. “Watch your language! There are children present!”

“Sorry,” I heard her mumble. She was most certainly
not
sorry.

She bounded down the stairs wearing the same costume she had on earlier, although it was now a bit shorter and slightly more revealing.

“Looking good,” she commented, scanning my vampire costume. “Are you going to suck Brianna’s blood tonight?” She raised her eyebrows at me as she pinched my arm. “Or maybe she’ll suck something of yours,” she joked, whispering in my ear so no one could overhear her.