Heartland (18 page)

EJ stood and headed for the coffee maker. He needed another cup of coffee. “Then you know how it all went to hell.”

“Yes. But I also know out of fifteen missions, it was the only one that did. Why did you get out? From what I read you were soon up for promotion.”

EJ didn’t like being at the disadvantage with the bodyguard. Oliver knew too much about him, and EJ didn’t know a damned thing about the ex-SEAL. EJ turned to glare at him. “I got out for personal reasons.”

“Your wife was pregnant.” Oliver folded his arms over his wide chest. “She committed suicide and left you with an infant son.”

“I think you know more than you should.”

Oliver shrugged and held his hands out. “I think you are good for Emily because you understand her. You’ve overcome tragedy, and you can help her to do the same. Emily is like a daughter to me. I want to protect her. She’s a strong woman, but her heart is fragile.”

EJ took a deep breath and dialed back his annoyance at the bodyguard. He’d probably be as protective if he was in this man’s shoes. Emily’s daughter instantly came to mind. He already had an incredible connection with the unborn baby. What would he be like with her daughter in twenty years? Would Emily give him a chance to be her baby’s surrogate father?

“Emily is my first and only priority.”

Oliver nodded once, stood, and held out a big hand, with a wide, open smile spreading over his face. “Then you and I will get along fine.”

* * * *

Emily awoke from a dream with a start. Sitting up in the strange king-sized bed, she looked around the darkened room. Vertical blinds covered the bay windows. Beside the big screen TV, the door to the hall stood slightly ajar. The wall opposite the windows held two more doors and large dresser.

EJ’s room. He’d brought her here instead of taking her to her own bed after she had the breakdown in the kitchen. She blew out a long breath and lay back on the pillow. Why did she confess her soul to him? Of course, he’d try to make her feel better by telling her she wasn’t deeply flawed for being selfish.

She turned over onto her side and hugged the pillow next to her. Burying her nose into the white cotton of the pillowcase, she filled her lungs with EJ’s scent of the outdoors. She didn’t deserve a man like EJ. He had a way of making her forget who and what she was. Around him, she could
feel
normal.

But she wasn’t normal. Never was, and she couldn’t forget it.

Unable to stay in his bed any longer, she got up. She looked around the room again, and headed for the door EJ had told her was the en suite bathroom, which at one time had undoubtedly been an adjoining bedroom. After she finished, she headed down the stairs to the kitchen to find something to eat.

From the direction of the office off the kitchen, she heard Clint Grier’s baritone voice. “The national news networks are running stories about Kelly Piper’s death.” Wanting to know more, she ignored her rumbling belly and stood next the open door of EJ’s office. “They’re reporting that Emily is hiding out in McAllister. It’s only a matter of time before Ritter knows where to find her.”

“I know,” EJ said. A chair squeaked and EJ’s familiar footsteps followed as if he was pacing. Closing her eyes, she leaned against the wall. The sound of EJ’s boots tapping across the hard wood was oddly comforting and disconcerting at the same time. “Emily won’t leave. She believes she has to be the one to draw him out.”

“That’s freakin’ crazy,” said a man she didn’t know in a strong Texas drawl she placed well south of McAllister. She assumed he was one of EJ’s other deputies. “EJ, wouldn’t it be better if she left town? Hell, she was here for almost a month without anybody knowing. If she left town now without telling anyone, everyone would think she was still here, as would Ritter. We could be ready for him when he comes hunting for her.”

For a moment, she considered the suggestion. Maybe she should leave, but she knew she wouldn’t.

“Emily won’t do that,” said Oliver. She was glad EJ included her bodyguards in the meeting. They knew her better than anyone, even EJ. “She won’t run from something she feels strongly about.”

“Devore’s right.” EJ stopped pacing right inside the door. She pressed against the wall and held her breath. “The time for her to escape is past. Y’all saw the news trucks parked outside the gates of the Double K and the Circle R,” EJ said referring to the ranch belonging to Mike’s parents. “Even if she tries a disguise there’s no guarantee she wouldn’t be recognized.” He paced away from the door, and a moment later a chair scrapped the floor. “If she did get away, who do you think Ritter would go after next to draw her out?”

“His parents.” Clint Grier’s voice held a touch of defeat.

Despite everything Mike had done, she considered Frank and Carolann Ritter her grandparents, and he knew it. She wished they would leave town, but Frank’s health had quickly deteriorated in the past years. His Parkinson’s disease debilitated him to the point he could barely feed himself.

“Do you think he’d hurt his parents?” The unknown voice sounded surprised. He must not know Mike as well as she did. She wouldn’t put anything past him.

“Yes. Bucky. You’re new to McAllister, but you have to know the story. Mike Ritter is one sadistic son of a bitch.” Clint cleared his throat. “I worked with him for ten years. First, as a fellow deputy, and then as his lieutenant. I never had an inkling about his organized crime connections. Not once did I sense he didn’t love his daughter. I had my suspicions about his marriage to Abby. Something had always been off there, but the rest… No. I’ve known Mike Ritter all of my life and never knew how he’d manipulated people. Even me. My point is simple. Mike will do anything to get what he wants--which is Emily.”

“I don’t believe Emily knows why Seth Kendall hired Jason and me.” Emily had to strain to hear Oliver’s low voice. “Kelly screened all of Emily’s fan mail.” Emily closed her eyes against the ache in her chest hearing her friend’s name caused. “Every artist gets hate mail. Some of it is even threatening. The letter Kelly brought to Seth from Ritter wasn’t overly threatening, but it didn’t have a good vibe. In it, he mentioned he knew exactly where Emily was and that someday he’d find her. What convinced Seth to hire two bodyguards for her was the inclusion of photographs.”

Oliver paused, and Emily couldn’t breathe as she fought the panic threatening to overtake her. She hadn’t known any of this.

“Somehow Ritter got personal photos of her. One was of her shopping with Kelly. The other was of her undressing in her dressing room after a show. She was sixteen.”

The other men spoke, but she couldn’t concentrate on what they said.
Oh, God!
She grabbed at her chest as terror turned her blood to ice and made her knees shake. Running and hiding would be easy. Safe. She had no doubt Mike would kill her if he got his hands on her. Her only hope was in EJ catching him before Mike could carry out the action.

EJ was right. She wasn’t going anywhere. She’d been running and hiding all her life. Her addiction and her marriage to a man she’d had nothing in common with had been a form of hiding from her past.

With a deep breath to bolster her resolve, she glanced down at the open shirt she’d put on over her tank top. She might be done hiding, but she didn’t think EJ’s men or her bodyguards knowing about her pregnancy would help her case any. Getting her idea past EJ was going to be hard enough. Satisfied her baby bump was sufficiently camouflaged, she stepped into the office.

The group of men turned to look at her, and EJ stood from his chair behind the desk he usually used to manage his ranch, not to run the sheriff’s department. “Emily…”

“I want to do a news conference.” She fisted her hands to keep them from shaking. “Mike Ritter needs to know exactly where to find me. No one else will die because of me.”

Please, God,
she prayed as she stared at the group of frowning men,
keep my baby safe.

Chapter 15

The other men couldn’t leave fast enough for EJ. He needed to get Emily alone. Although he wanted to wring her neck, he’d settle with verbally pounding some sense into her. Either way he didn’t want an audience. EJ paced the length of the kitchen, then turned and paced back. His hands clenched and unclenched in time with his jaw. If he had high blood pressure, he would have had a stroke by now. Counting to ten for at least the tenth time hadn’t done anything to curb his anger.

He whirled and narrowed his eyes on the woman he loved. “Are you fucking out of your mind?”

She shifted in her seat at the kitchen table and folded her arms in front of her. “No. EJ, I know you don’t agree with me, but you have to admit it’s the only way to flush Mike out. He could show up around here and stay hidden for days, maybe weeks. In the mean time, if he can’t figure out where I am, he could hurt someone I care about.” She stood and strode toward him. “I couldn’t live with that.”

He let out a breath between clenched teeth. “What if he hurts you?” Laying his hand on her baby bump, he met her gaze; something deeper replaced the anger in his gray eyes. “Are you willing to risk your baby?”

His husky voice caused a cold shudder to tingle down her back. “You won’t let it come to that.”

With a guttural sound, he spun away from her and raked both hands into his hair. “Damn it, Emily! I wish you didn’t have such faith in my ability to keep you safe.”

She needed to know why she couldn’t trust him. Damn the secrecy of his mission to hell. He had to tell her what happened in Jerusalem. He turned and took her into his arms. She shook from the stress of the day. As he placed a soft kiss on her temple, he breathed in her beautiful scent. “What I’m about to tell can’t leave this room. Understand?”

She nodded against his shoulder.

“The mission in Jerusalem failed because I hadn’t anticipated every possible contingency. Complacency made me sloppy. I led my team into the tunnels under the city where the terrorists were hiding the ambassador and her assistant without fully memorizing the layout of the exit points. I thought I knew them, but hadn’t prepared myself or my team enough on how to get out. To me, it was another grab and go mission. Like all the others I’d conducted. But this one was different from the beginning.” All the things he should have done flooded him, and he had to stop speaking to clear the knot out of his throat.

She stepped out of his embrace, took his hand, and led him into the living room. He pulled her back into his arms and sat on the couch with her across his lap, needing her strength to recount a memory he hadn’t told anyone.

With gentle fingers, she stroked his face. “You don’t have to say more. I can tell this is causing you a lot of pain.”

He forced a smile. “I’ve never talked to anyone about what happened, but you have to understand I don’t know if I can protect you.”

She kissed him softly. “And you have to understand I won’t judge your ability on one failed mission out of several successful ones.”

How could she not see? His self-doubt was enough to incapacitate him. “What if I don’t take into account everything again? Emily, if I don’t anticipate something before it happens, or worse, overthink something. It could mean your life.”

As a shiver went through her, she rested her head on his shoulder. “No one can see everything. Not even you.”

“Maybe not. But I was trained to anticipate the unexpected.”

Telling her what happened went against his oath to keep the mission top secret and was doing little in convincing her she shouldn’t have faith in him. Nothing would ever purge the pain and guilt he’d held inside since the mission, but finally speaking about the events that destroyed his faith in himself liberated him. As if by telling her, he was finally giving his team and the people he’d been sent to free a voice, making him feel whole again.

He swallowed hard, then plunged into the past. “We got in, took out the guards and found the captives.” At the memory of the joy on the middle-aged face of American Ambassador Evelyn Davidson, he closed his eyes. “The ambassador was beaten and most likely raped, and her assistant was tortured.” He shook his head. Emily didn’t need the gory details of the captives’ treatment at the hands of the terrorists and he had no desire to relive the barbaric conditions of the tunnels. “My team did its job by clearing out the underground, but I got turned around down there and didn’t know our chosen escape route. I eventually found it, but it gave the terrorists enough time to get a call out to their topside contingent. When we came out, they were waiting for us. Within minutes five members of my team were dead, including the ambassador. Her assistant was wounded, but he died later that day in the hospital.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he thought of the ambassador and her battered assistant. “They saw me as their savior. Little did they know, I’d lead them to their deaths.”

“You were their savior.”

He opened his eyes to look into her honest and open expression. “How can you say that?”

A small smile played on the corners of her lips. “Even if I knew I was going to die, I wouldn’t want to be a helpless captive. You freed them, EJ, and even though they were still killed at their kidnappers’ hands, they died escaping.”

With a snort, he ran his fingers through her silky hair, marveling at her innocent honesty. He kissed her and wanted to tell her how much he loved her, but like gentling a colt, he had to bide his time. Instead, he poured all of his feelings into the kiss. The ferociousness with which she returned his passion encouraged him. Did she love him as well, but was too stubborn to admit it? God, he hoped she did. He had his own tenacity. Being the youngest of five kids also taught him patience. Although the waiting was hard, he’d rather not have Mike Ritter’s threat hanging over their heads when he declared his heart to her.