Hearts Unfold (60 page)

Again she nodded.
 
“I'm not going to like this, am I?”

“Shh.
 
Listen.
 
Give me a chance.”
 
He took a
breath.
 
“I'm going to Europe.
 
No, don't say anything!
 
I have to leave the end of January.
 
It's been in the works for over a year;
there's no way to change things now.
 
Before I go, I want you to come to New York.
 
I want you to see my world, meet some of the
people who are part of that world.
 
It
isn't like here, for you.
 
It isn't
really my home, but it is where I work much of the time, and it's where I've
spent a lot of my life.
 
I want you to
have a chance to see what my world looks like even though I wouldn't expect you
to want to live there.
 
Will you, please,
come to New York, give me this chance?”

“How long will you be
gone?”
 
It was as if she hadn't heard
anything he'd said beyond his announcement.

“Three months.”
 
The very words sounded cruel.

“Three. . .when were you going
to tell me?”
 
Her eyes sparked, like
flint he thought.

“I'm telling you now.
 
I wanted us to have this—Christmas—before we
had to think about it.
 
Emily, don't be
angry!
 
I didn't want to worry you.
 
I just wanted us to be happy together for a
few days.”

She had jumped up, going to
the fireplace and standing with her back to him.
 
“You knew all along.
 
Why not tell me?
 
Were you just going to send me a
postcard?
 
'By the time you read this,
I'll be gone'?”

He crossed the room, taking
her firmly by the shoulders and turning her to face him.
 
“That's not fair!
 
I intended to tell you.
 
But you have to admit, we haven't had much
time alone.
 
There seems to always be
something going on here.
 
I was trying
this morning, but you fell asleep!”
 
The
tiniest trace of a smile crossed her face, as his voice caught on a squeaky
note.
 
With a deep breath, he went on
more calmly, “I wanted to have plenty of time to talk things over, to make
plans with you.
 
Emily, darling, it's not
as if I won't be back.
 
I'll go and do
what I have to do there, and you'll be here working and planting your
garden.
 
Then I'll come back and we'll be
together, I promise.
 
Won't you at least
give me a chance to explain?”

“Explain what?”
 
She was calm now, her anger gone as quickly
as it had flared.

“First, will you come to New
York?”
 
He led her back to the couch,
standing over her as she slowly took a seat.

“I don't know.
 
How would I get there?
 
Where would I stay?”

“I have all that worked
out.
 
Will you come?”

Emily seemed to sift through a
great many thoughts.
 
When she finally
looked up, there were tears in her eyes.
 
“I can't.
 
I'm sorry, I just can't.”

Stani sat down abruptly.
 
“Why not?”

“Milo.”
 
The finality in the one word suggested he
should understand.

“Milo?
 
What has he to do with it?
 
You don't even know Milo.”
 
A slow-rising foreboding crept through him
like a chill.
 

“But he knows who I am.
 
Have you told him you've been coming here to
see me?”
 
Her voice was flat, her eyes
fixed on the floor.
 

“No, but it wouldn't
matter.
 
Emily, what is this about?
 
I don't understand at all.”
 
He frantically searched his mind for
something he must have missed, something Milo had done behind his back.
 
“Please, love, tell me.”
 
He tried to raise her chin, to look into her
eyes, but she resisted.

“Milo won't like it.
 
He won't approve.
 
I couldn't face him, Stani.
 
Surely you can understand that.”

He felt the flare of his own
temper.
 
“Understand what?
 
I can't for the life of me understand what
Milo has to do with us.
 
He's never even
met you, how can he disapprove?
 
Explain
this to me,
please
!”
 
Going to
his knees on the floor, he could finally look into her face.
 
As their eyes met, he thought he saw a
dawning realization, a sudden flicker of understanding.

“You really didn't know.”
 
Her voice, barely more than a whisper, was edged
with relief.
 
“I thought all along you
must have known, but I never wanted to bring it up.”

“Known
what
!
 
You're driving me mad, Emily.
 
Tell me, please!”
 
He sat back on his heels, running a hand
through his hair.

“After the accident, just a
few days after you were taken to New York, I received a letter from Milo.
 
He had sent an investigator to talk to Jack,
and I guess that's how he learned about me.”

“John.”
 
Stani laid his hands gently on her knees,
waiting.
 
As she seemed to search for
words he tried to imagine what sort of things Milo might have written to her at
the time and his pulse quickened.
 
“What
did Milo say in this letter, Emily?”

Finally, carefully measuring
her phrasing, she went on softly, “He thanked me for my 'heroic efforts' and
enclosed a check, a big check.
 
He said
he was sure I would be discreet if I were approached to tell my story to the
press.
 
I was furious, insulted, but I
kept the check.
 
I can only imagine what
he must have thought of me.
 
I'm sure he
still thinks he bought my silence.”

He felt a rush of
disappointment and disbelief.
 
The hurt
in her eyes, the idea that Milo had been responsible for that injury, was
beyond intolerable.
 
But he understood
now, at least, and he could try to explain it to her.
 
“That's just like Milo.
 
Everything in dollars and cents.
 
He doesn't understand that not everything is measured
that way.”
 
His eyes met hers, apologetic,
pleading.
 
“What you did was
amazing.
 
And he made you feel that he
was paying you to hide it.”

“But I had already decided to
do that myself.
 
Of course, he couldn't
have known that.
 
I could understand his
wanting to protect you.”

He took a deep breath,
determined to be as straightforward as possible.
 
“He was protecting me from my own
stupidity.
 
He was afraid the press would
get hold of the fact that I was somewhere I wasn't supposed to be, with people
I shouldn't have been with, doing God knows what.
 
I had gotten myself into trouble the moment
he let me out of his sight.
 
I nearly got
myself killed!
 
Milo was just doing what
he does, saving me from myself, not for purely unselfish reasons, you
understand.
 
He was minimizing the damage
I'd done, and in the process he minimized the fact that you had saved my
life.”
 
He took her hands, pressing them
together between his own.
 
“And I never
made any attempt to find you, to thank you myself.
 
I just left it to him, as I've always done,
to take care of everything for me.
 
You
must have despised us both.”

“I could never have despised
you.
 
But I doubt Milo will see things
the way you do now.
 
I still don't see
how I could ever face him, knowing what he must have thought at the time.”

“You'll have to face him
sometime.
 
Besides, I'm sure he expected
you to keep that check.
 
He had no idea
he was hurting you.
 
Quite the contrary,
I'm sure he thought he was doing the right thing.
 
You'll understand when you get to know him
better.”

“You make it sound as if we're
going to become friends.”
 
Finally, there
was a trace of a smile.

“Maybe.
 
But that isn’t important.
 
What
is
important is us, our future.
 
Whatever Milo thinks, or does, should never be allowed to interfere with
that.
 
Now, will you please reconsider?
 
Will you come to New York next month?”
 

“It's really what you
want?
 
Why?”

He let out a long sigh of
exasperation.
 
“Because, you impossible
girl, I want the world I live in to know that I'm in love with the most
incredibly wonderful woman in anyone's world.
 
If I'm going to marry you next year, isn't it time I started letting
everyone know?”

He felt the breath expel from
her lungs and saw her face grow pale.
 
It
was hardly the way he'd envisioned it, but he was not displeased with the
result.
 
At least she knew what he was
planning, and there was that sparkle in her eyes again.

“Next year?”
 
Her voice was very small, but she was
stroking his face, a smile playing at the corners of her lips.

“I was thinking
September.
 
Your gardening should be done
by then, shouldn't it?”

“Yes, I think so.
 
Are you sure you know what you're saying?”

“That I want to marry
you?
 
To stand up in that beautiful
little church, before God and man, and promise to love you 'til death and
beyond?
 
That's what I'm saying.
 
Is that all right with you?”

He should have known there
would be tears.
 
But these were sweet,
smiling tears he could taste as she kissed him.
 
Her arms around his neck, her hands in his hair, she showered him with
kisses, punctuated by little humming moans of pleasure.
 
Slowly, he got to his feet, pulling her to
him, kissing her with as much passion as he dared.
 
When he drew away, looking into her still
brimming eyes, he grinned.
 
“Does this
mean you'll come to New York?
 
Or just
that you'll marry me?”

“I suppose I'll have to do
both, won't I?”

“I'd much prefer it, but if
there's a choice, just be sure it's the latter.”

“Oh, Stani, suddenly I think
I'd be willing to do anything you asked me.
 
As long as you really want me, I'll go wherever you say.
 
Just promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“We'll keep it a secret, just
for a while.
 
I don't want to share this
with anyone, to have to answer questions or make explanations.
 
We have time.”

“I'll try; but you must know,
I'm not good at hiding my feelings, not when it comes to you.
 
But we will tell the people closest to us,
won't we?”
 
He eyed her with rising
concern.
 
Did she doubt his sincerity?

“Of course.
 
After you get back from Europe, and we have
time to iron out the details.
 
It's not
as if there aren't still things in the way of our being together.
 
Your career, for one thing.
 
But let's just have this time, when we know
what we want, before we tackle those things.
 
I'll come to New York, see your world, as you say; and then after you're
gone on tour, we can start figuring out how all this is going to work.”
 
She put her arms around him, hugging him tightly.
 
“I want you, Stani, for always too.
 
There will be a way, I know there will, to
overcome all these fears.”

“Fears?”
 
He forced her to meet his gaze.
 
“Fears of what, darling girl?”

“That I won't be the kind of
woman you need in your world, that your family and friends will tell you you're
making a mistake.
 
That when I'm there
with you, you'll see me differently.”
 
She dropped her eyes; her smile vanished now.