Heat of the Moment (5 page)

Blowing out a hard breath, Holly mounted the stairs to the bedrooms. Shane would never let himself lose control with her again, the way he had that night in the boathouse. He’d all but said as much to her when she’d arrived at Al Asad Air Base in Iraq.

First and foremost was the fact that she outranked him. Any fraternization between them could result in a court-martial and dishonorable discharge for either of them. Shane might not have been born into a military family, like she had been, but he was more of a soldier than she would ever be. Holly believed that if he were booted out of the military, he might never forgive himself—or her—for letting it happen.

She also knew from experience that if she followed through on her instincts, Shane wouldn’t be able to resist her, but any relationship with him would only be physical. He’d made that completely clear. He was totally committed to the Marine Corps and there was no way he’d make any promises to her, no matter how unbelievably great the sex was.

And it had been great.

Off the charts great.

And while Holly lived in hopeful anticipation of a repeat performance, the strong pull of attraction she felt was just one aspect of his overall appeal. She wanted—no,
needed
—more. She needed to be part of his world. To be connected to him, and acknowledged by him. To know that she mattered.

Pushing her hand through her short hair, she walked over to her bedroom window and carefully turned the slatted wood blinds so that she could peek down at the deck. The angle was all wrong, though, and the umbrella completely obscured the lounge chair and its occupant. Holly let out a shuddering breath and closed the blinds.

Shane was
here.
Alive. Whole.

She moved blindly toward the bed and sank down, considering the implications of being here with him. Alone.

Nobody knew they were together, and even if her parents talked with Mitch and figured it out, the information would never go outside the family. There was no risk of anyone in their military chain of command finding out, not that she and Shane had anything to hide. After all, it wasn’t as if they were actually sleeping together.

But given the chance, Holly knew she would. She’d take Shane Rafferty any way she could get him. That day on the battlefield, when she’d been so certain he would die, she’d made a promise that if he survived, she would never ask for anything else.

She’d lied.

She knew now that she’d been given a second chance. She’d been crazy about Shane for as long as she could remember, but with the exception of that one night, she’d allowed Shane to determine the tenor of their relationship and permitted him to maintain both a physical and emotional distance between them.

But now here they were.

Holly drew in a deep breath, knowing what she had to do. She needed to change the rules. After all, what did she have to lose? Eventually, Shane would return to active duty and she wouldn’t. Losing him was inevitable. But for now, he was here. She would take a chance and grab whatever she could, and pray that when the time came to let him go, it would be enough.

With a new sense of purpose, Holly stripped out of her jeans and shirt, taking care not to strain her arm, and began rummaging through her dresser for a swimsuit. She wouldn’t come on too strong, initially. His first instinct would be to leave, so she’d play it cool and let him get accustomed to the idea of sharing the lake house with her. She’d gotten past his defenses once; she could do it again.

Pulling out a tiny blue bikini, she frowned and discarded it as too provocative. She knew Shane well enough to know that seeing her in the flimsy scraps of cloth would make him acutely aware of her, but he’d probably glower and tell her to cover up. But she had a modest one-piece suit that nobody could call alluring. Pulling it out, she tossed it onto the bed and was in the process of unfastening the front clasp of her bra when she heard a sound at her bedroom door, something between a groan and a sigh.

Whirling around, she stilled, and every good intention she had went flying out the window. Shane stood frozen in her doorway, leaning heavily on a cane, and the expression in his eyes caused tiny flickers of heat to rise up on her skin. His gaze devoured her, traveling downward to linger on her breasts, where her fingers paused over the clasp of the bra, and then lower, to her hips and thighs. When he met her eyes again, they were hot with hunger.

“Holly,” he finally said in a strangled voice. “What are you doing here?”

“Shane.” Her blood began a slow, languorous churning through her veins. “I—I was just coming downstairs to say hello. I needed to get away, to be alone. That is—not completely alone, just away from my parents. You don’t need to leave—I mean, I don’t mind you staying. You should stay. I want you to stay.”

God, she was babbling like an idiot, but was it any surprise? The way he looked, combined with the expression in his eyes, made it difficult for her to think straight. Wearing nothing but a pair of shorts low on his hips, he was all thrusting shoulders and muscle-banded abdomen. But where Holly remembered acres of smooth, tanned skin, Shane’s torso was now marred with a dozen or more scars, still vivid and raw, and the faded smudging of bruises.

Emotion swelled in her chest. She swallowed hard and schooled her features, unwilling to let him see how his injuries affected her. A strip of pale flesh rode just above his waistband, and her fingers itched to explore the narrow strip of dark hair that began just beneath his navel and disappeared beneath the fabric of his shorts. The room seemed suddenly too small and too warm.

He took a step into the room, his eyes fastened on her. He gave no indication that he’d even heard her. His breathing was uneven, and every muscle in his body seemed tightly coiled. “How are you?” His voice was hoarse. “I mean, are you okay?”

She struggled to think coherently, when all she wanted to do was launch herself into his arms. She swallowed hard. “I’m fine. What about you? I’ve thought about you so much.”

“God, Holly.”

His anguished voice seemed to reach into her most secret places. Her heart began to thump hard, until she could feel her blood vibrating in her temples, in her fingertips, throughout her body, until the throbbing sensation finally centered in the warm, damp place between her thighs.

In the next instant she was in his arms, her hands clutching his broad shoulders as he hugged her tightly against his chest. Holly buried her face against his neck and breathed in his scent, relishing the feel of his strong hands against her back.

“Oh, Shane,” she breathed, and drew back just enough to look into his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he groaned, in the instant before he lowered his head and claimed her mouth with his.

Every fantasy he’d ever had of Holly Durant—and he’d had more than his share—was playing out in front of him, and he wasn’t about to do anything to ruin it. His brain had blinked off the instant he’d caught sight of her wearing a pair of miniscule panties and a bra that did nothing to conceal the most insanely perfect pair of breasts he had ever seen. And now she was kissing him as if her very life depended on it.

He should be used to her sensual attacks; she’d stalked him from the time she was fifteen years old, but he found his ability to resist her had evaporated beneath the silken heat of her mouth on his and her hands on his skin.

He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think straight.

Desire slammed into him, fierce and hard, and his blood hummed in his veins. Sweet Christ, she was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She tasted like sweet berries, and her fragrance teased his senses, and only the zipper on his shorts kept his rampant hard-on from surging forward.

The microscopic part of his brain that still functioned was firing warning shots across his bow. He was all wrong for her. He could never give her what she needed. He didn’t deserve her. Even if she didn’t have the good sense to realize it, he did. He dragged his mouth from hers and sucked in air.

“Holly,” he finally managed, his voice sounding strained and thick, even to his own ears. “We can’t do this.”

But she only pressed closer, her eyes soft and hazy as she gazed up at him. “Yes, we can,” she contradicted him softly, and she pressed a moist kiss against the skin beneath his collarbone. Sensation shuddered through him.

To hell with doing what was right. Nothing could prevent him from reaching for Holly, not even the sound of his cane as it clattered, unheeded, onto the floor. The warning shots had come too late; he’d just taken a direct hit and he was going down.

“No, my arm is fine,” she assured him breathlessly, reaching for him. “Please don’t stop.” Grasping his hand, she drew it back to cover her breast. Beneath his fingers, her nipple tightened, jutting against his callused palm. “Now kiss me again.”

This time, Shane drew her into his arms with a gentleness that was almost reverent. But his kiss was no less heated as he explored her mouth with a slow thoroughness that caused a sharp stab of arousal low in her abdomen. One hand moved to the front clasp of her bra, and with a quick flick the garment fell open. He cupped her breast and teased her nipple, rolling it between his fingers. Holly shuddered lightly when he dragged his mouth along the line of her neck and lower, to the soft skin of her breast, before drawing the distended tip into his mouth. The slippery hot sensation of his tongue flicking against her sensitized flesh was almost more than she could stand, and she moaned again, arching against him. This time, Shane didn’t pull away. Slipping one hand beneath her panties, he curved his fingers over her bottom and stroked her pliant flesh.

“Jesus, you’re so soft,” he murmured against her lips. “I’ve never forgotten how goddamned soft your skin is.”

He’d never forgotten.

Any misgivings Holly had vanished as she melted against him with a sigh. “I want you to touch me,” she breathed. “Everywhere.”

Shane groaned and took her mouth again, spearing his tongue against hers as his hands roamed over her back, his fingers tracing the curves and dips of her spine. He turned her up against the wall, pinning her there with the weight of his body. Slowly, he eased the straps of her bra down her arms until it slid free. His mouth was fused to hers and his hands explored her freely, cupping and caressing her breasts before splaying across her back and downward, to tease the soft crease of her buttocks. Holly felt a little stunned by his actions and light-headed with pleasure.

“Damn,” he breathed against her lips. “I want to sweep you up and carry you over to that bed. But I can’t.”

In answer, Holly stepped out of his arms but didn’t release his hands. Not wanting to do anything that might ruin the moment and make him have any second thoughts, she drew him toward the bed.

“I don’t need to be carried,” she assured him. “I just need you to join me.” When she reached the mattress, she sat down and then reclined back on the coverlet, her fingers still entwined with Shane’s. He didn’t require any further encouragement, but came over her like a big, sleek cat, bracing his hands on either side of her as he bent to kiss her once more.

Holly tunneled her fingers through his short hair, reveling in the velvety-rough texture. He smelled good, like coconut suntan lotion. He slanted his mouth across her lips for better access, mating his tongue with hers until Holly shifted restlessly beneath him, wanting more. She gave a squeak of surprise and clutched at him with her good arm when he eased one hand beneath her and hefted her more fully onto the mattress.

“Much better,” he said against her mouth, as he lowered himself alongside her, bracing his weight on one elbow and using his free hand to leisurely stroke and explore her body. He covered one breast, his long fingers kneading the firm flesh before plucking at the nipple. The combination of his tongue in her mouth and his hand on her breast sent a rush of heat and moisture to her core, and she arched helplessly against him.

There hadn’t been anyone serious in her life since the night she’d spent with him at the lake house. No one made her feel the way he did; hot and achy and trembling with need. And she knew instinctively that no man could bring her the pleasure that Shane did. From the start, it seemed he knew just how to touch her so that she felt crazed with lust.

“Oh, man,” Shane rasped, pulling back slightly, “you are so incredibly sexy.”

Holly’s breath was coming in short pants, and the expression in his eyes as he followed the path of his hand across her skin made her feel wanton. Her center throbbed, and she knew if he touched her there, she would be slick and hot. As if he could read her thoughts, he smoothed his hand across her stomach and then hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her panties and slid them down her legs. He sifted his fingers through the springy curls at the juncture of thighs. Her legs were pressed together, but all it took was a simple nudge of his hand for them to fall open.

Holly’s breath hissed in when Shane bent his head to suckle her breast at the same instant he cupped her intimately, holding her in the warm palm of his hand. But it wasn’t enough, and Holly shifted restlessly to gain more of the delicious contact.

“Is this what you want?” he murmured against her skin, just before he parted her slick folds with his fingers.

Holly made a strangled sound of pleasure and threaded her fingers through his scalp, holding his head to her breast. Pleasure lashed through her as he drew his fingers over her moisture, teasing but never touching the small rise of flesh that throbbed for his touch. If she’d had a little more courage, she might have dragged his hand to where she needed it the most, but she found herself embarrassed by the strength of her own arousal.

“Oh, yeah,” Shane breathed, “this is definitely what you want.” Holly’s breath hissed inward and her hips bucked as he finally stroked her clit and then eased a finger inside her.

“Oh, God,” she moaned, shocked at how needy her voice sounded and how greedily her flesh clutched at him. She’d fantasized about this for so long and part of her had wondered if her memories of their one night together had been colored by the alcohol they’d both consumed. Maybe they hadn’t been as great together as she remembered. Maybe she’d built it up in her mind into something it wasn’t.

But now, with Shane’s body pressed against hers, and his voice murmuring husky words of encouragement in her ear, she knew her memory hadn’t failed her. If anything, this experience was even more intense than their first encounter. This time, there was no darkness to conceal them, and no question that they both knew exactly what they were doing.

“Tell me what you want,” he urged, and thrust his finger deeper. “Say the words.”

“You know what I want.”
What she’d always wanted. Him.

Her voice sounded strained and hoarse. She raised her hips, lifting herself into the pleasure he provided.

“Tell me anyway.” His voice was low and commanding, and so sexy that Holly couldn’t refuse. “I want to hear it.”

“I want you.”

He made a sound of satisfaction deep in his throat and quickened the movements of his hand. “How do you want me?”

Any way I can get you.
“Inside me. Now.”

In answer, Shane withdrew from her and stood up, balancing awkwardly on his good leg as he made quick work of his shorts. Holly was glad she was already lying down, because the sight of a naked, rampantly aroused Shane caused her legs to feel a little wobbly and her mouth to go dry. She hadn’t gotten a good look at him during their previous encounter in the boathouse, and although she’d known he was impressive, she hadn’t realized just how gorgeous he was. Everywhere.

He didn’t give her time to admire him, however. Instead, he caught her knees in his hands and bent her legs backwards, exposing her to his gaze. Holly should have felt embarrassed, but she was way past that point. Holding her legs wide, he stepped between them. His face was taut with desire, his gaze fixed on her.

“Wait!” she exclaimed, reaching down to cover herself with one hand and prevent him from making any contact with her. “I don’t have any protection, do you?”

If she weren’t feeling so desperate, Holly might have laughed at the expression of dismay on his face.

“No. I didn’t exactly plan—” he began, frustrated.

“It’s okay,” she said. “If I know my brother, he keeps a stash in his room.”

“Second drawer of the dresser, in the back,” Shane confirmed with a crooked smile, releasing Holly’s legs. “At least, that’s where he used to hide them.”

“It’ll be quicker if I go,” she said, and without giving him a chance to argue, she bounced off the bed and shot him a seductive smile. “Don’t start without me.”