Held (Gone #2) (22 page)

"If you say so." It was obvious that Rebekah didn't believe her, but she closed the door behind her, giving Macy privacy to change.

Macy yanked off her pajama top and threw it across the room with full force. Being just a shirt, it didn't go far. She pulled off her pants and balled them up and threw them even harder. They bounced off the wall, half landing on the dresser. She slunk down to the ground and dissolved into tears. She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around her legs, sobbing as quietly as possible.

She wanted to scream. If she had her way, she would scream at Chester, right in his face. She would pull those big, ugly glasses off, and stomp on them until they were in a million little pieces. Then she would grab him and throw him against the wall, threatening him just like he'd done to her.

Then after beating him up, she would lock him up somewhere to rot until he couldn't go another hour without water. At that point, she would go in there with an ice-cold bottle and hold it just out of reach. Then she would gloat as he begged for it. Once he was in tears, she would drink it in front of him—the entire thing.

After that, he would stop breathing and not be able to hurt anyone ever again.

Anger

Macy sat at the table, not looking at Chester or Rebekah. She was too busy planning her escape. Chester yammered on about something, but Macy didn't care.

Anger burned inside of her. She had never hated anyone as much as she hated Chester that moment. She hated him not only for every single thing he had done to her, but also for what he had done to Heather and her mom. Someone so cruel didn't deserve to live, much less be revered by an entire community.

Macy's mom had once told her that people weren't evil, but rather that they only did bad things. Macy knew her mom was wrong about that. Chester was the embodiment of evil. If she believed in a devil, she would think he had come to the earth in the form of a human in Chester.

"Are you listening, Heather?" he asked.

She looked up at him, forgetting to hide her disdain.

"What's that look for? Did I do something to you?"

"She had a bad dream," Rebekah said, too fast.

"Don't cover for her. What's going on, Heather?"

Macy wanted to scream that she wasn't Heather, but she knew that wouldn't get her anywhere except locked up. She took a deep breath and forced her true feelings off her face. "Rebekah's right. I'm in a bad mood because of my dream. I can't shake it."

"Don't take your foul mood out on me. What do you say?"

"What?" Macy asked.

Chester stared at her through his thick, ugly glasses. "When you're rude to someone without cause, there's something you need to say. What is it?"

Macy wanted to punch those glasses right into his skull. Even if her hand ended up bloody and needing stitches, it would be worth it.

"Say sorry," Rebekah whispered.

Not wanting to end up locked up, Macy muttered a barely audible
sorry
.

"What's that? I can't hear you." Chester furrowed his ugly, bushy eyebrows.

Macy pictured his glasses tearing his face apart as she punched him. "I'm sorry I was rude."

"Thank you. Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" He went back to eating his food.

She glared at him before going back to her breakfast. Somehow she made it through the meal without pissing him off or killing him with her bare hands.

On the walk to school, Rebekah was talking about proper behavior, but Macy couldn't pay attention.

She knew Rebekah was only trying to help, but Macy didn't want help. She wanted
out
.

When Macy sat at the desk, Luke gave her a strange look. "Are you okay, Heather?"

The anger built further at being called Heather again. Macy pursed her lips and shook her head.

"What's going on?" he whispered.

She clenched her fists. "I'm going to find a way out of here. Today."

"Whoa. Wait, Heather. You can't just do that." Luke turned and looked directly at her. "Remember what we talked about yesterday? Taking everything slowly and then—"

"You can do that if you want. I'm not waiting. I need to get back to my family, and I'm not waiting ten years. I'm not even waiting a week."

"Think about this first. You can get out with your dad soon. Have you been paying attention what Jonah has been saying about him in the nightly meetings? I know you're not used to the way things usually work, but I've never seen anyone move through the ranks so fast. You won't have to wait long."

A noise caught Macy's attention. Rebekah was standing in front of them, giving them a look of warning. "Is there a problem? You two should be working."

"No problem," Luke said. "I'm just helping Heather to understand the inner workings of the community. She was a little confused on a point."

Rebekah nodded. "Thank you, Luke. I think you're distracting some of the other students, so if you need to continue discussing this, grab Dorcas and you three can have a discussion group outside."

Luke nodded. "Yes, Teacher." He turned to Macy. "Do you need further explanation?"

Macy nodded, too angry to speak.

She went outside with Luke and Dorcas. Luke spoke, but Macy wasn't paying attention. She was looking into the distance to see if the fence was visible, but it was too far away to see anything.

"Do you have a plan?" Dorcas asked.

Macy looked at her. "There has to be a way out. There just has to. It isn't possible for them to have every inch of this place sealed tight."

Luke and Dorcas exchanged a worried look.

"Don't you remember what we told you about the one kid who tried to escape?" Luke asked. "No one knows what happened to him."

Macy clenched her fists. "Maybe because they're embarrassed that he escaped and they couldn't do anything about it."

Dorcas put a hand on Macy's arm. "No. That's not what happened. If you really want out, you've got to have patience."

"Patience? You want patience? You have no idea what I've been through the last few months or however long it's been." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I'm done playing by everyone else's rules."

Luke stood taller. "What's your plan?"

"Plan? I have none, except to find a way out of here. The sooner the better."

"I really don't want to see anything happen to you. We need more than that."

"And I don't want to spend another night here. Even if I have to do something extreme, I will."

"Like what?" Dorcas asked, looking worried. "You could get hurt."

"You guys don't have to join me if you don't want to. No need for you to risk yourselves."

"I just need more than what you're giving me," Dorcas said. "Luke and I have had our plan for a long time, and the one thing I like about it is that it's safe."

"And it's too slow. You guys probably have nice families to go home to here, or at least your actual families. I don't have that. All I have is—"

Luke stepped closer. "Shh. Don't talk about it too loud. You're getting worked up. There are lots of kids, even some adults, who have been brought in here that are kidnapped too. You're not alone, but the ones who survive, they take it slowly."

"Where has slow gotten them? They're still here. Some of them have probably either given up or worse, accepted this life. I'm not going to do that."

Luke stared into her eyes, giving her a look that made Macy's heart skip a beat. "You do have people who care about you, even if you don't feel it at home. People who don't want to see you hurt." He took her hand.

Macy swallowed, feeling her anger dissipate. She knew that by
people
he meant himself. Macy didn't want to do anything to put him in danger, either. But what was she supposed to do? There was no way she was going to wait years to escape.

He took another step closer. "I know you're frustrated. You have every right to be. Chester shouldn't have taken you away from your family or brought you here. Life gave you a really unfair hand of cards, but don't do something rash and throw it all away."

Macy stared into his eyes, unable to find her voice.

"Will you take a day to think about it? Maybe when you calm down, you'll be able to think of an actual plan."

"And by then I'll be ready to hide in a corner again, scared and helpless. Who's going to miss me if something does happen? I'll bet you my family already thinks I'm dead."

The look on Luke's face told her that he would be crushed if something happened to her. "Don't go on a suicide mission. Please, Heather."

"My name's—"

Dorcas cleared her throat.

Macy looked up, and Luke let go of her hand, stepping back.

The schoolhouse door opened and Rebekah came outside. She smiled. "How is everything going? Are you getting your questions answered, Heather?"

Macy took a small step back. "Yes. They're really helping me to understand how things work around here."

"Good. Why don't you three come on in? I wouldn't want anyone thinking that you're getting special treatment because of our family situation."

Luke gave Macy a look, almost begging her not to do anything stupid. Her heart fluttered and she looked away. They went inside and she started her copy work, not paying attention to what she was writing. At least her hand had finally adjusted to all the writing.

Her mind was on fire. She was all too aware of Luke sitting next to her, doing his own copying. She wanted to turn and watch him, and that very desire made her angry with herself.

She needed to focus on getting out of the stupid community, not thinking about him. How was that going to help her? And why couldn't she stop thinking about Luke?

Macy's stomach kept doing flip-flops. She didn't feel nervous. What was her problem? She needed to think about Chester and how much she hated him. That was the only way she was going to stay focused on what needed to be done. Thinking about Luke was only distracting her—big time.

The morning dragged on. She didn't care about the work in front of her and she kept wanting to sneak peeks at Luke, and each time she gave in and did, he caught her looking at him.

Macy missed Zoey more than ever. She wanted to talk to her best friend about Luke, the first boy who had ever paid her any real attention. Of course he didn't know that she used to be "Muffin Top Macy." But after everything Chester had put her through, Macy was thinner than ever.

She remembered wanting to be skinny at any cost. How stupid she had been—wishing it at
any
cost. She'd gladly go back to her muffin top if it meant being back home, having never met Chester or his storm shelter where he had starved her until she agreed to take on Heather's identity.

When Rebekah finally announced the morning break, Macy decided she needed to make a run for it as soon as she got outside. Luke was only proving to be a distraction and she needed to get away. No more whining or wishing, it was time for action.

Once she made it outside, she looked around, making sure that no adults were anywhere in sight. The last thing she needed was to run, only to have prophets chase after her. Then she would end up like the one kid who mysteriously disappeared.

Everything was clear, so she burst into a run, heading left, where she was sure the fence was closest. She ducked between a couple of buildings and headed for a group of trees.

Footsteps could be heard from behind. Macy picked up her speed, not looking back. Why hadn't she listened to her parents and joined some kind of sports team? She breathed hard, gasping for air. She hadn't been used to running before Chester took her, and she was in even worse shape after a couple of months of his torture.

Macy looked down, seeing a root sticking up out of the ground, but it was too late. She stumbled over it and went down. It felt like slow motion, but she couldn't do anything to stop from falling. She landed with a hard thud, frost crunching under her.

A hand grasped her shoulder.

Impatience

Macy rolled over, ready to fight. It was Luke who had her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm finding a way out of here."

He shook his head. "Now?"

She sat up. "Yes, now."

"Can't you at least wait until it's dark?"

"No."

He looked around. "We'd better get back to the schoolhouse."

"I can't go back. I won't."

Luke grabbed her hand and helped her up to stand. "You need to. We'll meet tonight and figure something out."

Her heart raced. She noticed he hadn't let go of her hand. She shook her head. "I don't want to get you in trouble too if it doesn't work out."

"I'm already involved. Let's go."

"But, I can't—"

He walked, taking her along by default. "Your arrival has shown me that I need to step up my plan. I need to get the same fire as I see in your eyes."