Helios Awakened (The Helios Chronicles #1) (17 page)

“Yesterday, I saw Tyler when we were leaving Hollywood,” Andrew said out of the blue.

Aaron glanced at him for a moment and then turned eyes back to the road. “Is he the young man you were with the night of the incident?” Aaron asked.

Andrew smiled. Aaron always called the rape the incident and he always referred to the low lives that littered Andrew’s past as young men. Andrew believed in calling a spade a spade and for the first year he corrected him but now he accepted that it was just Aaron’s way. Everything about Aaron seemed to flow as if he belonged in some long ago time in Europe where they talked and acted differently than they do in modern times. He was kind and non-judgmental, a rarity in today’s society.

“Yes,” Andrew finally replied. “He was a mess. Dirty, skinny, and sickly. He wanted money and all I could think was that I needed to get him the hell away from Madison. I didn’t want him tainting her in any way but...” Andrew paused and glanced at Aaron. “He said something to Madison about...”

Andrew stopped for a moment. He had never really talked to Aaron about how he got his money but he thought Aaron must have figured it out by now. He assumed that Aaron knew that there were only so many ways homeless drug addicts had to supply their habit.

“He told her how I used to get money.” Aaron nodded and Andrew sighed. “How I used to have sex with women and then steal from them.”

Aaron nodded once again, except this time he glanced at Andrew and offered him a small smile, hoping to reassure him. He had suspected that Andrew had done something illegal to obtain money. The report Roger had collected did not list any jobs for him so he thought maybe theft or prostitution. He never really considered both of them at the same time.

“Seeing him made me think about a lot of things. The way I was back then and the kind of life that I led.” Andrew turned to face the window. “He made me think about... heroin,” Andrew said softly as he ran his hand up and down his forearm and rested his head against the window.

“Did it make you crave it?” Aaron asked, trying to mask the concern he suddenly felt.

“Not really. I don't know, maybe a little,” he said turning to Aaron. “It scared me.”

Aaron quickly swerved the car and pulled over to the side of the road, putting the car in park. Andrew was a little concerned as he wasn’t sure what was happening. Aaron was clearly upset about something. Andrew began to panic as he watched Aaron turn in his seat to face him, a determined look on his face.

“Andrew, if you ever feel that way again I need you to call me, call someone. I need a commitment from you that you will do that,” he said, looking at Andrew with a fierceness that startled Andrew.

“Okaaay,” Andrew said, clearly confused why this statement required him to pull the car over.

Aaron closed his eyes and shook his head. He was mumbling to himself and looked as if he was debating something with someone. Andrew stared at him; unsure what was going on or what would happen next. Without warning, Aaron’s eyes shot open and his face held a look that was both forceful and kind.

“I lost my brother to a cocaine overdose. He was younger than me and always in trouble but he was finally getting his life together. He was in treatment and he was doing so well. We were all really proud of him and then things started going bad for him until eventually he couldn’t take it anymore.” Aaron looked down and took a long and soothing breath. “He never called me or talked to anyone. He made the decision one day that he no longer cared. Not about himself, not about his family, not about anything. So one night he purposely took a fatal dose.”

Andrew stared at him. Aaron had tears in his eyes and it was obvious that he still cared deeply about his brother.

“I’m sorry about your brother, Aaron, but why are you telling me this? Do you think I am going to use again?” Andrew was hurt at this thought.

“No one can ever be sure but I care about you and would hate for you to feel that you had no one to talk to or that you were alone. My brother often felt ashamed of who he was and had a hard time asking for help. I need you to promise me that you will ask for help,” Aaron said, touching his shoulder.

Andrew nodded. He had never had anyone in his life that cared about what happened to him, and the look of concern on Aaron’s face moved him and made him want to do right by him. Aaron turned around and pulled out onto the road again.

“I don’t think I ever told you how Olivia and I met.” He glanced at Andrew who shook his head no. “Well, obviously you know her sister was an addict,” he said watching as Andrew gave him a strange look.

“Both my parents were addicts, Aaron. What does that have to do with how you two met?”

Aaron continued to watch the road, glancing at Andrew out of the corner of his eye. “I met your aunt at a support group for family members of addicts. I fell in love with her that first day we talked and never looked back. She was very conflicted about your mother. She felt like she gave up on her and, in doing so, that she abandoned you. The two of you haunted her dreams, her life, not knowing what became of either of you.” He let out a deep sigh as he remembered the many long nights hearing her cry herself to sleep. “After your grandmother passed away, we hired a private investigator to find you, which is what led to her coming to see you in prison.”

Andrew nodded and looked towards the window again. Aaron glanced at him and could tell by his posture that he was deep in thought.

“Just knowing the things you went through at the hands of your parents has tortured her, tortured us. We...”

Andrew whipped his head around to face him again. “Wait, you know what happened to me?” Andrew asked, panicked and angry.

“Yes, I do. I’m sorry, Andrew. I never wanted to say anything unless you wanted to talk about it but I have seen the report. I know what your parents did.”

Andrew closed his eyes, trying to sort through everything. All this time he assumed they didn’t know because they never asked him.

“You know... everything?” Andrew asked in a whisper as tears started to form in his eyes.

Aaron sighed and nodded. Andrew was breathing heavily as he looked out the window again. He heard Aaron tell him that if he ever wanted to talk about it that he was there for him. Andrew instinctually knew that, but that didn’t mean he was ready to take him up on the offer. They drove the rest of the way to Carmine’s house in silence as Andrew contemplated his next course of action. At this point, his greatest concern was Madison. He knew that he needed to tell her about the things that happened to him as he couldn’t hold it inside any longer.

Madison kept herself busy for the rest of the day, counting down the hours until Andrew would be back. She had several long talks with her grandmother about the situation. Her grandmother wanted to make sure she understood what she was getting into and that it was imperative that she talk to him about the night terror he experienced the night before. By the time the knock came at 7:30 Madison sprung to her feet and rushed to the door to let him in.

“Hey, handsome,” Madison said with a gentle kiss.

“Hello, beautiful,” Andrew replied, kissing her forehead softly.

“Did you eat? I saved you some food,” Madison said, running her hands down his chest.

“Yeah, I had something but...” He blushed slightly because he really hadn’t eaten much. Once they had gotten home he rushed to shower and grabbed one of the pork chops his aunt had made and slapped it between some bread before rushing out the door.

“Go sit down, baby. I'll heat it up,” Madison said as she practically skipped into the kitchen to warm up his plate.

“Ma’am,” Andrew said as he sat down on the couch.

“Andrew, I believe I asked you to call me Grandma before, didn’t I?” Grandma Downing said with a brow arch that made Andrew smile. He was starting to wonder if that was a hereditary trait.

“You did, ma’am. I mean, Grandma,” he said with a smile.

She nodded and returned his smile. “So I hear you all went to help Carmine?”

“Yes, we did. You know him?” Andrew asked as he took the plate from Madison.

“Oh, Carmine taught at the school in town before he moved out there to Tehachapi. He’s a crazy old coot,” Grandma Downing said laughing.

Andrew nodded. “He’s different alright,” Andrew said between mouthfuls of pasta.

“Do you like it?” Madison asked, motioning her head towards his plate.

He turned to her and kissed her softly. “I love it.”

“Andrew, you’re lucky Maddie knows how to cook because my daughter is horrible in the kitchen. Maddie must have gotten her cooking gene from John’s side of the family,” Madison’s grandmother said with a chuckle.

Andrew noticed that Madison’s demeanor changed somewhat at the mention of John, which he presumed was her father. Suddenly Madison’s grandmother shushed them and both Andrew and Madison turned to the television as her favorite game show came back on.

“What city is often referred to as the Pearl of the Mediterranean?”

“What is Alexandria?” Madison said softly just as some man named Sal hit his buzzer and said the same thing.

Andrew glanced at her and smirked while Madison shrugged, a small smile creeping on her face again. Andrew turned back to his food, shaking his head often as Grandma Downing grumbled at the television while Madison answered most of the questions correctly. When she got a question wrong her grandmother would turn to her and tease her while Madison just rolled her eyes. At first, Andrew was a little confused but Madison reassured him that it was how they always watched the show.

They spent the next several hours watching television with her grandmother and snuggling together on the couch. When her grandmother finally said she was getting tired, Madison left for a few moments to help her grandmother get changed into her sleepwear. As Madison headed back to the door she heard her grandmother speak.

“He really is a pleasant young man, Maddie.”

Madison turned to her. “He is,” she said with a smile. “Goodnight, Grans. I love you.”

“I love you too, Maddie.”

Madison made her way to the couch and immediately straddled Andrew's lap. “Alone at last,” she whispered seductively before grinding against him and nibbling on his bottom lip.

He ran his hands up her back. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course, baby,” she said, kissing along his lightly stubbled jaw line.

“You looked upset when your grandmother mentioned John and then earlier today your grandmother said you had been through a lot. I also remember on Monday night when I came over you said you knew what heroin could do.” He took a deep breath. “Was your father an addict?”

Madison froze. She didn’t want to talk about this particular topic right now, but apparently he did. She felt his hands move to her face so that he could see her. She saw the hurt and concern in his eyes so she moved off his lap and sat down, turning in her seat so she could face him. He mimicked her movement and then ran his fingers across her cheek.

“Yes, my father was an addict.”

She brought her fingers to her temple, tapping three of them there as if she were playing an instrument. Andrew just watched her. He wanted desperately to say something or do something but he was trying to wait it out, give her some time to sort through her thoughts.

“When I was eight, my mom and I were making dinner for my dad’s birthday. It was almost done so she asked me to let him know that we were ready for him.”

Madison closed her eyes as she recalled walking down the hall and opening the door. She remembered how confused she had been when her dad wasn’t moving on the bed and then seeing that he didn’t look right. She squeezed her eyes tighter as she tried to block the images from her brain.

Maddie smiled as she trotted down the hall to her parents’ bedroom. Her daddy had said he was tired and was just going to lie down while her mama was cooking. Mama had said okay because she knew her daddy liked to eat the raviolis before they were even in the sauce. When Maddie swung the bedroom door open the room was really dark, the blinds were down and only the small lamp on the table by the bed was on.

“Daddy, Mama said dinner is almost done.”

Maddie thought it strange that he wasn’t moving. She also noticed that there was dried spit or something on the corner of his mouth. She tapped his shoulder, nudging him a little but he still didn't move.

“Daddy?”

Maddie looked around the room, noting a needle lying on the bed. This confused her even more. Was her father sick and no one told her about it? She picked it up and walked back into the kitchen to show her mama.

“Mama? Daddy won’t wake up and this was on the bed. Is Daddy sick?”

Jacqueline glanced at her daughter as she moved the salad to the table and saw the needle in her hand. She gasped and dropped the bowl on the floor. She quickly grabbed the needle away from her daughter, dropping it on the counter like it was hot or something. She looked scared and was breathing hard as she turned abruptly and ran to their bedroom with Maddie following close behind her, trying to keep up. When she entered the room, she immediately started to scream at the top of her lungs, causing her daughter to cover her ears. Maddie didn’t know what was happening but figured it had to be something really bad. Maddie watched as her mama ran to the bed and started shaking John. She then tried desperately to open his eyes.

“No, no, no! Baby, wake up.” She cried, shaking her head. “Wake up, baby, don't do this to me.” She sobbed as she continued to shake him. “Oh God! Please, baby, don't leave me. No, no, no!”

Maddie slowly walked to the bed, crying. Her mama dropped her head down on top of him, crying onto his chest. Maddie didn’t know what to do but she carefully walked around to the other side of the bed and crawled on top of it, snuggling up next to her daddy. This act caused her mama to cry even harder. Maddie turned her head saw that there were marks on his arm. Marks she had never noticed before. She instinctually reached out and barely started to touch them when her mama pulled her off the bed.

“Go sit in the living room, Madison,” she said, wiping her eyes.

Maddie immediately thought she was in trouble because her mama never called her that. She looked at her confused.

“NOW!” she shouted, causing Maddie to jump a little.

“Mama, what’s wrong with Daddy?”

“Go Madison,” she screamed loudly, tears kept coming out of her eyes. “Just go,” she cried softly as she turned away from her daughter, running her fingers through John’s hair.

Maddie stared at her for a long time and then started walking out to the living room, hearing her mama on the phone. As she made her way to the couch, she glanced in the kitchen and saw that the water for the ravioli was boiling all over the place. She started to cry again.

Madison was breathing hard as the memories floated through her mind, as clear as if they had just happened. She felt Andrew’s gentle touch on her face and let out a loud breath.

“When I went into the room, my dad was lying on the bed, not moving. I thought he was asleep and tried to wake him but he didn’t budge. That’s when I...” She paused and her face strained in agony. “I saw a needle lying next to him so I picked it up and brought it to my mom. She freaked out, she was screaming and I started crying. I wasn’t sure what was going on.” She opened her eyes and looked at Andrew, tears freely falling down her cheeks. “I didn't know he was dead, that he had overdosed.”

Andrew nodded and understood immediately why she had reacted the way she had earlier this week when she felt his old track marks. He pulled her into his arms, cradling her while she cried. She had been so young, just as he had been when bad things happened to him. If she could tell him this information about herself then he felt he could tell her... something. He owed her that.

“I’m so sorry, Madison,” Andrew said as he brought her lips to his for a loving kiss.

Madison watched him as he cradled her face; she kissed his palm, closing her eyes once again. “I really miss him,” Madison said, looking into his thoughtful and caring eyes.

Andrew smiled and ran his fingers along her face reassuringly. He wanted her to continue, to get it all out.

“My mom changed after that. She became angry and bitter, my grans tried to talk sense into her but it just alienated her from my mom even more. My mom is a cold-hearted bitch now. The reason I am here instead of her is because she refused to come and help her own mother. What kind of daughter would do that?” Madison said, wiping under her eyes.

“She probably just gave up. It happens,” Andrew said softly, knowing it happens a lot more than not.

“Yeah, I guess so. Anyway...” Madison said wiping her eyes again, “Three years later we moved to New York and we’ve never once talked about it.”

Andrew nodded and looked down, sighing. He contemplated if this was the right time and quickly assessed that it would never be the 'right' time. He brought his fingers to the hem of his shirt and started lifting it up but Madison stopped him before he could get passed his stomach.

“Helios, baby, as much as I want to see you naked I think we should wait until we are in my room. I don’t want to break Grans rules the first night.”

He offered her a small smile and then turned around, pulling his shirt over his head.

“Touch my back, Madison. I know you have felt my scars,” he said, looking over his shoulder.

Madison was hesitant but she brought her fingers to his shoulders, slowing tracing along the scars that were perfectly covered by his tattoo. From a distance you couldn’t see them but they were certainly there. Andrew held completely still as her fingers moved down his back and to his side.

“Helios, who did this to you?”

“I did,” Andrew replied and heard her gasp.

He turned around and slipped his shirt back on.

“When I was six, my father was reported by the school. A social worker came to visit me and my parents and basically gave them a warning because it was a first report, told them to go to parenting classes. They withdrew me from school and we left the next day. Both of my parents used pretty heavily, mostly stimulants of some sort.”

Andrew ran his hand through his hair. This was a lot harder than he thought it would be.

“The more my father used, the more paranoid he became. We never had a real home as they spent any money we collected on drugs. We moved from one drug house to the next, sometimes staying in sleazy motels, sometimes sleeping in the car. I was lucky if I actually got food to eat on a daily basis.”

He had often wondered while he was in prison how he had survived as long as he did on the streets but, in a way, his parents had taught him how to endure. They taught him how to do without a bed or proper clothes, how to go with little to no food and how to take advantage of people. When he first arrived in Los Angeles he really thought he could make it on his own, but the harsh reality was that he couldn’t, and the more he lived the more he wanted to die. He looked away from her.

“My parent’s used me to help pull scams on people. My father would always say that no one could resist my pitiful face so we would con people out of money and then move. I am almost ashamed to admit this but I always liked when we scored some cash because my dad would be so happy and he would take me out to eat and I could order whatever I wanted. I don’t know. It felt like we were normal.”

Madison took his hand in hers, running her thumbs in small circles. She could tell how difficult this was for him. He was looking away from her and when he finally turned her way his face was riddled with despair and anguish.

“My father, in his fucked up crazy thinking, decided that as long as he didn’t hit me that it was okay,” Andrew said, eyeing her, hoping she would get what he was trying to say without him actually saying it.