Hell On Heels (27 page)

“I’m really sorry, Rhonda,” I told her. “I'll try not to throw you across the room anymore,” I added lamely.

She belly laughed. “Aww sweetie, I gotta say I enjoyed it. Not many people can give me a run for my money. It makes me real proud of you.”

“Okay. . .well, thanks.” A compliment was a compliment, no matter how bizarre.

I glanced around Miss Evelyn’s trashed home and winced. I was as bad as my therapy group in their heyday. I wished Stella was here to restore the house. . .wait a minute. I could do it!

“Miss Evelyn, would you like me to clean up the mess I made?” I asked, halfway hoping she’d decline my offer.

“That would be lovely, dear.”

Craptastic. . .Here goes nothing. I took a huge breath and closed my eyes. I’d never done this before, but how hard could it be? For Satan’s sake, I could freeze people, throw Mack trucks around and blow up tables and refrigerators. Certainly I could use a little magic to clean a room.

I began to chant the same one I'd used earlier. I wasn't sure what I was saying but it felt good and right. It was interesting to know that I could create magic without anger. As the chant grew the energy of the room whirled and crackled around me. My hair blew wildly around my head tickling my nose. Steve barked as her wagging tail beat against my leg. An intense excitement coursed through my body and I heard Miss Evelyn and Rhonda giggle with delight. I felt happy and light. Behind my closed lids, fireworks burst in a rainbow of sparkling colors. As my chant continued, I idly wondered what the Hell language I was speaking, but it felt so good I didn’t care.

I was done.

I opened my eyes and gasped in dismay. The glitter was gone and the hole in the wall from Rhonda’s crash was repaired, but all was not well. I had cleaned the room, but I also completely rearranged it. The chairs were on the coffee table, the pillows sat atop the television, the couch cushions were backwards and oh so much more. . .

“Holy Hell,” I moaned. “I am so sorry.”

“Oh my.” Miss Evelyn laughed joyously. “That was wonderful.”

Was she on crack? Rhonda was laughing so hard she snorted. It wasn’t cute. I ran around the room and tried to right all my wrongs. I was so embarrassed I wanted to die.

“Dixie, Dixie.” Miss Evelyn grabbed me around my waist and turned me to face her. “It’s the little things. Enjoy the little things.” She smiled and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

I stood still and my mortification slowly melted away. She was right. I looked around the room and I saw the humor of it. It was funny. I took a deep breath and smiled. As my smile grew broader and I owned the ridiculousness of the room I’d created. . .I giggled.

“Just take life a moment at a time,” she whispered in my ear.

“Yes.” I moved into her embrace. “A moment at a time.”

Chapter 28

I got home and slept for fourteen hours. When I awoke at ten the next morning Myrtle was curled up next to me. Janet was sound asleep in the chair next to the bed and Carl snored lightly in a makeshift sleeping bag on the floor. So much for going to class today.

I carefully sat up and looked at my little family who had come to Earth willing to die for me. My breath hitched and my eyes welled up with tears. As out of control as my life was spinning, I knew I was lucky. Starting today all of the pity parties were over. I would be ready to protect my little tribe and make my father proud.

Blanche’s absence made my heart hurt, but I was beginning to understand the pattern. She was my guide, leading me where she knew it was necessary. I was unclear how the old women figured in, but I didn’t doubt that they would.

The world and the people around me were somehow instrumental in why I was here. I was positive that Eden, Kentucky had not been a random choice by my father. With no direction book and only my twenty-one year old wits to guide me, I had a feeling that my path was being dictated by those around me. . .or at the very least they were providing clues. It frustrated the Hell out of me that everything and everyone was so damn cryptic, but that was the way of the immortal world. I could learn or burn. I decided to learn.

The pieces were clicking quickly and I knew the darkness loomed close. Instead of scaring me, I felt invigorated and excited.

I was having a difficult time wrapping my brain around how Thing One, Thing Two, Thing Three and Thing Four could be anything but annoying, but I wasn’t not going to question anymore. They had to be connected to the dance. The dance from Heaven and Hell. . .how hideously appropriate.

I also realized why my dad had forbade any contact with Hell. There was no way I would have come this far on my own if I’d had a major support system. Hayden, Stella and Sloth would have caught me every time I fell. I would be no stronger or wiser with that kind of help. I was still angry with Satan but I understood.

Myrtle’s small hand clasped mine. “Are you feeling better?” she asked in a sleepy voice.

“I’m not sure.” I wrinkled my brow in confusion. “I don’t remember crawling into bed last night.”

“You didn’t.” Myrtle rolled over and stretched. “You walked in the front door and collapsed. Carl carried you up.”

Well, that explained why I was still dressed in the clothes I'd worn yesterday. Janet opened her eyes and smiled while Carl snored and snuggled deeper into his thrown together bed.

I patted the space beside me. Janet bounced over and hopped in next to me. I hugged her tight and dragged Myrtle over with my other hand.

“What the. . .” Myrtle groaned as I pressed her close to my side.

Carl’s bald head popped up at the end of the bed, a big grin splitting his sweet face. “Can I join the love fetht?” Damn, his dimples were cute.

“Yes, you can.” I grinned, then moaned in agony as I realized he was shirtless. “Oh, Sweet Underworld Carl, please tell me you’re wearing pants.”

He chuckled and raised a hot pink terry cloth covered leg. I rolled my eyes and made room for my dear, hairy, style-impaired friend.

“I'm starting to figure the clusterfuck out,” I told them.

“Lucifer’s Bouncing Balls.” Janet laughed. “You already knew what you needed to know.”

I reached down and checked myself for balls. Thankfully there were none to be found.

“The’th right,” Carl added, giving me a noogie like a third grade boy. "And The Kev and Gemma will be coming today." He continued his noogie fest.

“Quit it, Carl.” I smacked his hand away and tried to noogie him back. "The Fairies are coming?"

"Yep."

He laughed and dodged me, cracking his bald noggin on the headboard and knocking Myrtle to the floor. Janet shrieked with joy and began jumping on the bed.

“Damn it to Hell,” Myrtle yelled. “You people need to act your age.”

She crawled back up on the bed, knocked Janet’s feet out from under her, effectively ending her trampoline time while simultaneously popping Carl in the back of the head. She was good.

“Janet’s correct.” Myrtle’s voice was calm with certainty. “You already have everything you need. Put it together.” She smoothed out the comforter and shoved Carl off the bed. “You’re shedding,” she informed him.

Ewww. I threw myself back onto the mountain of pillows. My mind registered the significance of her words. I knew it was time. "Are you sure?"

“Yes, I am sure that Carl is getting chest hair all over your sheets,” she replied matter of factly.

“No,” I snapped. “Are you sure I already have everything I need?”

My mind reeled and my stomach clenched with excitement. Who cared if I couldn’t restore Miss Evelyn’s room correctly? Did it really matter that I blew up tables and fridges? No, it didn't. I did protect Lucy from her awful father and I healed Steve with my tears. I kept waiting in vain for everything to come together. . .to feel powerful and knowledgeable and to understand what in the Hell was expected of me.

Waiting was for weenies. There was no more time to wait.

“Dixthie,” Carl said as he tried to help Myrtle remove his chest fur from my bed. “You have to trutht yourthelf. Find your balanth.” The chest hair was going nowhere fast. “You have the thkillth we taught you, you chant in a language we’ve never heard and you potheth Black Magic.”

“You know I have Black Magic?” My eyes narrowed dangerously. No one was supposed to know. Carl blanched and backed away.

“Oh sweetie.” Janet giggled. “You can freeze Demons, and your strength in a matter of a couple of weeks has quadrupled.” She tucked my hair behind my ears and placed her soft little hands on my hot cheeks. “Regular Demons can’t do that—only the strongest Demons with Black Magic are capable of such power so quickly.”

I sucked in a huge breath and blew it out slowly. "I'm a True Immortal," I said. My heart pounded in my ears. It was the first time I'd said the words aloud.

"It's about time," Myrtle shouted.

"Why is it so important I figure it out for myself?" I asked as I rolled my eyes. "Will we really turn to dust if the story gets told before its time?"

Myrtle sat back and clasped her small hands in her lap. "Honestly, we really don't know about the dust thing, but it would suck ass if it was true. The real reason has to do with destiny as opposed to pre-destiny."

"Explain."

"If you knew you were a True Immortal because we told you, you would have done things in a different order and screwed up destiny's timeline. You are the master of your destiny and you have to determine how it plays out."

"Do you already know what's coming or what will happen?" I asked, feeling stronger and more powerful with each passing second.

"No, but it's coming soon," she said and the other two nodded.

"I come from here," I said. "This is where I was born. It's why it feels familiar and it's why my father sent me back here."

"I think you're right," Janet said.

"There was an old lady who told me a story about a little girl named Dixie who died. That was me." I stood and paced. Was that little old lady my mother? She certainly didn't seem like someone my father would have mated with, but what the Hell did I know? It felt wrong, but I was going back there to find out. "Shit, as I figure it out, the ball starts rolling faster," I muttered. "Will this mean all the Angels and Demons will descend and wreak havoc?" Shitdamndamnballs. Again, I checked for balls. . .

“Relax your crack,” Myrtle rolled her eyes and scooted over next to me. “Very few immortals, Demonic or Angelic, can destroy you. . .but you, on the other hand, can do a buttload of damage to them.”

“It really would have been fucking awesome to have known this a little earlier." I shook my head in disgust.

Myrtle shrugged and grinned. I wanted to slap her. “Why do you think your father sent us with you?”

“So you could drive me insane?”

“Nooo,” Janet clapped her hands together in glee. Her cackle bounced around the room. I bit my lip to hide my smile. “Our gifts are different from other Demons,” she continued. “It’s why we were shunned in Hell.”

“We are caretakerth.” Carl climbed back on the bed, gauging my mood with caution. “Ath you can imagine, thath not a great quality for a Demon.”

I nodded and waited.

“We can read the intentions and powers of others,” Janet’s voice changed. For the first time I was aware of her true age. “That’s a dangerous power to have.” All of her mirth disappeared. “Most of our kind have been destroyed.”

“We behaved like circus show freaks in Hell,” Myrtle explained. “We were dismissed as weak, stupid and inconsequential. It was our cover.”

Wait,” I interrupted as I tried to piece their story together. “Why were you in therapy with me? Was that a set up?” I gasped. My head swirled with doubt and distrust.

“No!” Carl bellowed. “No thet up.” He rubbed his bald head, a sure sign of distress. “Dixthie, we have been athigned to you from birth. We were created hundredth of yearth ago for you.”

“We never knew our purpose until you were brought to Hell.” Janet grasped my arm, determined to make me understand. “When I saw you as a beautiful little toddler, it was the greatest day of my life.”

“We’ve stayed hidden most of our lives,” Myrtle said quietly. “To be recognized by our Lord and King as protectors to his most beloved child is an honor beyond anything we could have hoped or imagined for ourselves.”

“We love you, Dixthie,” Carl added shyly. “We will protect you and die for you.”

“So the volunteering in Hell to come with me to Earth?”

“Was just for show, in case any traitors were in the midst,” Janet said.

“Therapy?” I asked.

“So you could know us better,” Myrtle said.

I was speechless. As the pieces of my life puzzle clicked together I wanted to laugh. I stared at the three Demons waiting patiently on the bed for my reaction. My brain was racing with whys, hows, what ifs and WTFs. I took a deep breath and in a moment of both perfect calm and utter insanity. . .I decided to just go with it. One moment at a time.

“I love you guys too,” I told them.

“Thank Satan!” Janet giggled, expelling the breath she’d been holding. “Now that we have all that sorted out, there’s something odd I’ve noticed in Eden, Kentucky. The mortals here are not what they seem.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, hoping she could shed some light on Miss Evelyn and Rhonda.

“I haven’t been able to put my finger on it.” She sighed unhappily.

“Is there a species on Earth that I don’t know about?” I turned to Myrtle, the Keeper of Secrets. If anyone knew, she did.

“Shifters,” she said and my brain clicked so hard it hurt. “Mortals are mortals, but I do believe some of them possess significant magic.”

“Demonic or Angelic?” I asked.

“Neither,” she replied as she shrugged her shoulders.

I ran my hands through my tangled hair and realized I had a few very important visits to make today.

“So,” I said, examining the remarkable amount of chest hair on my comforter, “I have several people I need to surprise today. Is there anything else we should be doing?”

“We keep doing what we’ve been doing. . .going to school, fight training, planning the dance, having sex in the science closet with Timmy.” She smirked, but then on a dime turned deadly serious. “I believe the trouble will come to us. We don’t need to look for it.”