Her Anchor (94 page)

Chapter 4

Nolan gasped.  He suddenly found himself in the hospital again, popping out of his flashback.  He was gasping for air as he remembered his night with Emma.  He hadn’t used a condom.  Now he was going to be a dad.  Nolan couldn’t believe it.  He was an idiot.   He had so much in front of him, a baby would ruin everything he had ever worked for.  How was he supposed to enter into professional football when he had a child to take care of? 

He was pale and shaking by the time he sat down in the closest chair.  This couldn’t be happening to him.  No, Emma had surely fucked other people during spring weekend, and this was just some sort of mistake.  Maybe the baby wasn’t his, and they were mistaken.  Maybe it belonged to some other guy, from some other weekend.  How on Earth did they know the child was
his
anyway?

Nolan could just run away.  He didn’t have to see her.  He could go back to his dorm room and study for his final.  He didn’t need to be here.  Nolan looked at the exit, contemplating his options.  He didn’t know what to do.  He needed coffee. 

He was about to get up when a nurse spotted him looking pale and approached him.  “Hello, sir, are you alright?”  She asked him with a kind look on her face.  Nolan looked up at her but didn’t really see her.  His vision was blurred and his mind was elsewhere.  He wasn’t ready to be a father. No, he had enough to worry about with his stupid economy final, let alone this surprise baby crap.  “Sir?”  The nurse asked again.  Nolan finally broke away from his trance, looking up at her, wondering what she wanted.  “Are you okay?”  She asked gently.

Nolan didn’t know how to respond.  Should he tell her the truth? 

“I just had a baby…”  He said numbly. 

“Congratulations!” The nurse smiled, thinking he was just another father who was pale after seeing the miracle of childbirth.  She didn’t know that Nolan had only found out about his fatherhood about an hour ago. 

“Yeah… thanks… I found out an hour ago.”  He stated plainly as he looked up at her, getting up slowly.  He couldn’t mope forever.  He had made a mistake and now he had to face the repercussions of his actions, even if it meant destroying all of his dreams in the process.  Nolan sighed before looking at the nurse. “Do you know where Emma Jones is?”  Nolan asked, hopeful.

“I don’t know exactly, but if we ask the reference desk, they will be able to tell us.”  Together they walked to the desk.  With a shaky voice, Nolan asked the receptionist where he would find the mother of his child.  Knowing the room number, he made his journey, his heart in his throat.  Was he ready for this?

Even if he wasn’t, Nolan didn’t have a choice.  His body had taken over and his instincts were kicking in.  It was as if his body knew he had a child somewhere in the building as if his body had some sort of primal need to be with this child.  He could feel his feet carry him along, even though he was willing himself to stop.  His heart beat faster and faster, thumping in his chest as he reached the door: room 204.

He looked at it, unsure of what to do.  The moment he opened the door his life was sure to change forever.  He still had a chance to run away.  Nolan took a deep breath and turned the doorknob.

Chapter 5

The moment between turning the knob and opening the door and finally stepping into the room seemed to take an eternity.  Inside the room was a completely different world. 

Nolan stumbled inside, numbly, and was instantly bombarded with a blinding whiteness and constant beeping that surrounded him on all sides.  It no longer felt like a hospital, but some sort of space ship, ready to abduct him.  He looked around before his eyes fell on Emma. 

Everything seemed to stop the moment they made eye contact.  He looked into her gorgeous blue eyes, mesmerized for a moment.  There was no doubt that this was the same girl who had won the beer pong competition.  It was the same girl he had fucked without a condom.  The awkwardness in the air rose as they continued to look at each other. 

How did one react in a moment like this?  How was someone supposed to react to suddenly finding out they were a parent?  It was not every day that a surprise baby entered someone’s life. 

Finally, Emma broke the silence by saying, “Y… you actually came.”  Nolan couldn’t answer but nodded as he looked at her.  He moved toward her, slowly, as his body took control as if attracted to the child bundled up in a mass of blankets in its mother’s arms. 

He looked at her and then at the bundle, his eyes asking a question.  She seemed to understand at once what he wanted and slowly started to unbundle the baby, just enough so that its face became visible.  At that moment, when father and daughter saw each other for the first time, Nolan’s whole world changed.  He looked down at the baby and there was no doubt in his mind that the child was his.  There was some primal instinct going wild inside of him, screaming:
mine, mine, mine
.

Nolan didn’t know what to do. Was he supposed to hold her?  Was he supposed to tell her he was her daddy?  Nolan felt embarrassed for not knowing these things.  He looked at Emma as if she could provide him with some guidance.  She just smiled at him and said, “Do you want to hold her?”

Nolan nodded before awkwardly taking up the bundle into his arms.  He had never held a baby before and it felt strange to him but at the same time it felt right.  He looked down at his daughter and smiled.  This was
his
daughter. She looked just like him.  He had created this beautiful baby girl, and that made him proud. 

He looked down at her now, walking around the room a bit, rocking her slightly.  The baby looked up at her father, a happy look on her face.  In those moments, a bond was formed between father and daughter that could never be severed.  The baby already had her father wrapped around her fingers.  From that point on, she would forever be a daddy’s girl.

“What’s her name?”  He asked softly, looking at Emma.  He felt kind of sad that he hadn’t contributed to naming his own daughter.  He just hoped that Emma had chosen a cute name for his daughter. 

“Sophia.” 
Sophia
.  Nolan played around with the name in his mind before deciding that he liked it.  It was a beautiful, yet simple name, and as he looked down at his daughter, he decided she
looked
like a Sophia.  He smiled at her. 

“I like it…”  Nolan smiled again, before handing Sophia back to her mother and sitting down at the edge of the bed with her.

Throughout the entire moment, the friend who had texted Nolan had been sitting there, awkwardly.  He didn’t know what to do.  Finally, he got up and said, “Well, I’ll just let you two settle things then.  Goodnight Em.  Goodnight Nol.”  The friend grabbed his jacket and scurried out of the room. 

As the new family experienced their first moments alone together, it was a little strange.  No one knew what to do, except, of course, Sophia, who just went to sleep.  Nolan looked at her before looking back at Emma.

“I’m sorry…”  It was the first thing Nolan could think of saying.  He
was
sorry.  He had fucked her without a condom and now she was a mother.  Emma’s life was probably ruined.  He felt like he had destroyed her life by forgetting that stupid condom.  How was she supposed to continue an education with a child? 

Emma shook her head before placing a hand on his.  “Please don’t apologize, it isn’t your fault.”  Emma’s eyes were large and sincere as she looked at him.  Nolan could feel his heart strings tug toward her.  Did he really have feelings for this girl?  Maybe this was fate at work, showing them that their one-night stand had meant more than they thought.  Still he shook his head. 

“No… I am sorry.  I should have used a condom that night… there is no excuse for me forgetting because now you are a mom and your life must be a wreck.”  He looked at her, his eyes full of concern as if he would cry at any moment.  He didn’t want to crush all of her dreams, to ruin her life.  Emma just shook her head again. 

“I wasn’t expecting or planning this, but I don’t regret it either.  That night with you was one of the best nights I ever had.  I thought at first that it was just the booze talking but now, as I sit with you again, I know that it was all in here.”  Emma looked at him before pointing to his chest.  Nolan could feel his cheeks redden as he blushed. 

“Do… do you really mean that?”  Nolan asked breathlessly.  He hadn’t expected this, but he felt it too.  He wanted to hear her say it.

“I… I think I love you… it doesn’t make any sense because I barely know you… and love at sight isn’t a real thing… but for some reason I know that deep down, I love you, almost as much as I love Sophia.”  Emma looked at Nolan, her eyes blazing with passion.

Chapter 6

Nolan couldn’t believe his ears.  This beautiful woman loved him?  He couldn’t help but smile.  The next thing he knew he was hugging her tightly.  It didn’t make any sense, but he felt it too.  He loved her.  Who cared if it wasn’t logical?  He could feel it in his chest that he loved this woman. He loved this woman and their daughter. 

He smiled a bit, before saying, “I know it must be hard for you, but just say the word and I will do whatever you need me to do in order to make sure that you and Sophia live a good life.”  Emma smiled before hugging him tightly.  They hadn’t expected this, but they were both glad that their feelings for each other were mutual. 

When Nolan had sat down to study for his economy final, he had not expected, not in a million years, to find himself sitting in a hospital with the mother of his child, but here he was.  It was scary to think that he was now a father, but for some reason he was oddly okay with it.  He knew, deep down, that he would never abandon these two beautiful girls.

******

After that eventful night at the hospital the family’s relationship only deepened.  Nolan found himself falling more and more in love with the two girls every day.  Soon enough they had moved in together in a small apartment that was midway between both of their universities.  They had arranged a system where Emma took morning classes and Nolan took afternoon classes so that there would always be someone available to take care of Sophia.

As time went on, Nolan even asked Emma to be his girlfriend.  It was evident it would happen eventually, but it was pleasant to experience nonetheless. 

******

It had been a weekend.  Sophia was about a month old.  It had been a difficult month.  Both of them were novice parents who had no idea what parenting was.  They knew nothing about babies but through the power of the internet and friends they managed to get through the first month together.  Still, it had been a lot of sleepless nights and hard work. However, now, after a month of being parents, they felt like they were finally getting the hang of things. 

Now Sophia was about a month old and very healthy.  Their doctor had praised the young couple for their great work at raising the child as they did.

The day Nolan asked Emma to be his girlfriend was a warm day in January, a very warm day, almost spring-like in the Florida climate.  They had decided to take Sophia for a stroll around the park since they all needed some fresh air after so much time cooped up indoors.

So they had walked around the park together before Nolan gently grabbed Emma’s hand.   Even though they both had feelings for each other they never expressed it again since the night the baby was born.

For some reason, while Nolan was walking with Emma he felt compelled to take hold of her hand, to touch her.  Emma blushed at the gesture but then squeezed his hand gently as she smiled.  They continued to walk through the park with Nolan pushing the stroller with one hand as he held Emma’s hand with the other.  They seemed to be the picture perfect family.

After a walk around the park, they decided to sit down and enjoy themselves on one of the park benches.  Nolan gently rocked the stroller to and fro with his foot, rocking Sophia who was slowly falling asleep in her cocoon of blankets.

The wind started to pick up, and the temperature dropped.  Emma shivered a bit.  She was a small girl and therefore easily susceptible to the cold.  Nolan noticed her shivering and so pulled her closer to him.  He wrapped an arm around her shoulders before bringing her even closer until her head was on his shoulder.  She smiled before nuzzling into his warmth. 

She really did have feelings for Nolan, she was sure of it. He was cute, nice, and amazing with Sophia.  It was hard being a mother in college, but Nolan made it bearable.  She wanted to be something more to Nolan but didn’t know how to press the issue without the fear of pushing him away.  What if he didn’t want to be anything more than a father to Sophia?  What if he just wanted a no strings attached relationship with Emma?  They hadn’t even kissed or touched since the night of Sophia’s conception, surely if he wanted more he would have made a move by now, right?  Holding hands today was the most intimate thing they had done in over ten months.

To be honest, Nolan couldn’t stop thinking about how to advance his relationship with Emma.  She was beautiful, compassionate, and an amazing mother.  Who wouldn’t want to be her boyfriend?  But, Nolan was scared.  What if she rejected him and then took Sophia away from him?  He loved Sophia.  Nolan didn’t want to take the risk of losing his daughter, but he felt like he had no choice at this point.  He couldn’t suppress his feelings any longer. 

He looked over at Emma who was smiling.  He could feel himself getting nervous as he looked down at her.  Her light blonde hair was fluttering in the wind and the way she was laying her head on his shoulder just made her look so beautiful.  He had to ask. “Hey… Emma…. Can I ask you something?”  Nolan’s voice was barely a whisper.  He was terrified of rejection, but this was something he had to do.

Emma looked up at Nolan, wondering what he wanted.  She nodded at him before blushing a bit.  Their faces were so close.  All she needed to do was lean up, just a tiny bit, and she would be able to kiss him.  Despite this thought, she restrained herself from kissing him and instead waited for him to continue. 

“Would you… you… be my girlfriend?”  Nolan asked nervously, as he looked into Emma’s beautiful eyes.  Her eyes widened.  Nolan couldn’t help but stare into those beautiful oceans.  He started to look nervous the longer she took to answer.  He could feel his heart race in his chest.

Emma’s heart was racing just as fast.  Had he just asked her out?  Was this real?  Was she dreaming?  Emma couldn’t believe it.  Had Nolan liked her all along?  Yes, there was the night at the hospital, but they had never spoken of feelings again, so Emma had assumed they were nonexistent.  Emma suddenly started to smile like an idiot before nodding.  She lunged forward and hugged him tightly. 

“Yes… of course I want to be your girlfriend!”  She squealed excitedly.