Her Daring SEAL (Midnight Delta Book 5) (8 page)

His big hand easily cupped the entire side of her head, and he thumbed back some wisps of white blonde hair from her temple, taking note of her rapidly beating pulse.

“I’m going to kiss you.”

“I know.”

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for a very long time.”

“Dammit, this is so crazy.  How can I have met you just one time, and you have been on my mind.  It makes no sense.”

“Same for me.  Only it does make sense.  I saw a courageous woman, who could handle Drake Avery, who was at one point this tough as fuck Sylvia, and then she was this vulnerable gift in front of me now.”

“I’m nobody’s gift.  You’re crazy.”

“I want my kiss, are you saying you haven’t wanted to kiss me?  That you haven’t thought about me?”

“Like I said, I don’t know why, but you’ve stuck in my mind, and I want this too.”  Her tongue darted out and licked her lips.  He shuddered.  God, she was killing him, he dipped his head and watching her carefully, not wanting to mess this up, now he finally had her in his arms.

He brushed his lips against hers, just a taste, a sip.  She was still against him, her eyes wide.  He traced his thumb against her cheekbone, a soft caress to soothe and relax, her eyes drifted shut.  He deepened the kiss.  She opened her lips with a sigh, and he took the invitation, sweeping the inside of her mouth with his tongue, savoring the minty taste of her toothpaste and the essence that was all Rylie.

It took everything he had not to plunder when he felt the fine tremors going through her small frame.  He loved the fact she was as turned on as he was, but he was determined they were going to go slow.

She shoved out of his arms.

“What the hell?” he asked as he reared back.  “Rylie, did I do something wrong?” 

She bit her lip as she looked up at him, then she tossed her hair over her shoulder.  He saw a hint of Sylvia wash over her face, and he didn’t like it.  He didn’t like it at all.  Then he realized it was probably an unconscious thing she did on her part to protect herself.  But why did she feel the need for protection?  Darius just stood there and waited her out.

Rylie put her hand into the pocket of the massive robe and pulled out some nail polish. 

“Nope, you did nothing wrong.”  She took a deep breath.  It was another thing he’d seen her do when she was having trouble coping, so he continued to wait her out.  “We need to set some ground rules, maybe discuss things.”  She hopped up onto the bed.  No wonder she wore heels that were so high, she couldn’t be any more than five feet one.  Maybe he should have offered to lift her onto the bed.

He watched in fascination as she uncapped some glittery blue nail polish and started to apply it to her baby toe.

She shot him a bright smile.  It was phony as hell.  “Let’s discuss the sex stuff.”  He knelt down beside the bed so he could watch her paint her toes

“Okay, let’s.”

“I’ve only had the one lover.  How many have you had?  Bunches, right?”

“Define bunches,” he asked.

“More than ten?”  Darius squirmed at the number she suggested.  “Ah, so it’s more than ten.  Is it more than fifty?”

“God no.  Probably...” he mentally counted.  “Seventeen.”  God he drank too much in his younger days, there were too many one-night-stands in that number.

“Okay, well, you like sex then.  All men do.”

“That’s a good assumption.  Don’t you?”

She paused before applying paint to another toe.

“Not really.”  But she looked up and gave him another bright fake smile.  “I’m really good at it, though.”

Talk about a minefield.  Darius decided to go with humor.

“How do you know you’re good at it?  Do you have references I can call?” 

“Now you’re just being an ass.”  She scowled at him.

“It goes along with liking sex.  Men like sex, men are asses.  It’s in our DNA.” 

She scowled at him again.

“Be serious.”

“I am.  Have you not met Drake?”

A giggle escaped, and Darius could tell it was real.  He felt his chest loosen, he was sick of the fake Rylie.  Obviously, this conversation was hurting her, somewhere there was a man on this Earth who required an ass-kicking on Rylie Jones’ behalf.

“This whole acting like we’re lovers, I agree with you, we need to make it really believable.  I think we better have sex tonight so we’re in the groove so to speak.  My nails should be dry in about five minutes, I used the quick-dry formula.  We can do it after that.”

Never had he felt less like having sex.  Rylie was the woman he most wanted to be intimate with, and she had just managed to take all the wind right out of his sails.  Darius huffed out a laugh, he couldn’t help it.

“Hey, that’s not nice.  I just said we should make love, and you’re laughing at me.”

“You didn’t say we should make love, you’re scheduling me in between a pedicure and a root canal, and I think you’re looking forward to the root canal more.  Damn right I’m laughing.”  Darius got off his knees and went to the table and helped himself to another strawberry.

“Do you want some food?” he asked.

“In a minute, I’m still not done.”  He filled up two plates.  Then he reached for the bottle of champagne. 
In vino veritas
.  In wine comes truth.  He wasn’t sure his ego could handle much more truth from Rylie, but maybe she might tell him a little bit more as to why she didn’t like sex.  He needed some specifics.  He knew she was drawn to him, and she responded to his touch.  He needed a little more information, so Darius poured the champagne.

“How are the toes coming?”

“Done!  What do you think?”  She shoved her cute little toes towards him, and the wind started to fill his sails.  God, she had beautiful feet.

He left his food on the table and gestured for her to scooch over next to the nightstand and set her plate and glass down.  Then he sat down on the bed and placed her legs over his.

“What are you doing?”

“You’re going to eat a little snack, sip a little champagne and talk to me a little bit more.”

“But I’ve already told you everything that matters.”

“Not really, Rylie.  You haven’t given me the name of your references.”

She grimaced.  “I’m not planning on giving names.  Now it’s four more minutes, ten if you want to have that snack.”

“How about we go for twenty, and you let me massage your feet.  You let me do it in the hotel room in Houston six months ago.  I remember you liked it.” He held one dainty foot and began to caress it, pushing into her arch with his thumb.

“This is dumb, we need to eat and get done with it.  The sex I mean.”

“This is foreplay.  This is part of ‘it’.”

She gave him a perplexed look.  Yep, that man from her past, definitely needed to have his ass kicked. 

“Foreplay isn’t necessary.”  She reached for her plate, but he stilled her hand. 

“Just relax for a minute.  Are you telling me you don’t like having your feet rubbed?  Come on be honest,” he coaxed.  He shot her a sideways grin.

“Okay, I like it a little,” she admitted.

“Now you earned some food.”  He smiled and pushed the plate back next to her.

“Eat.”  He pressed in.  “Drink.”  He watched as she took a strawberry and bit into it and slowly chewed.  Yep, his sails were now full.  Fuck, he was never going to survive her eating all of those damn strawberries he’d put on her plate.

“Where were we?”

“You were going to tell me about your references.  But I suspect there aren’t that many names.”

“How’d you know?”

“Just a wild guess.”

She picked up the champagne flute and took a delicate sip.  “You’re right, I only have the one.”  She was lost in thought.

“Honey, we don’t have to talk about this.  I’d prefer to just rub your feet and kiss you.  I think anything else tonight is too much too soon.”

“I was kind of messed up when I got involved with him,” she said baldly. 

Dare kept caressing her foot, waiting for her to continue.

“It’s an ugly story, Dare.”

“I was in foster care too, Rylie.  Even though I was lucky, I know how ugly it can get.  My past isn’t filled with unicorns and gumdrops.”

“Shouldn’t we just focus on the positive?”

“Whatever you want, honey.  You’re in charge.”  She let out a heavy sigh. 

“Nothing makes sense if I don’t explain why I hooked up with Roger.  Can you tell me your ugly first?”

Dare looked down at the small foot in his big hand.  Only Mason knew about this.  He wasn’t proud of his behavior. 

“This was before I joined Mason’s unit.  I was young at the time, and some of the missions we go on aren’t always good.”

“From what I’ve read, they’re awful.”

He kept his head down and concentrated on her blue toes.

“Anyway, I didn’t always cope well, and I used alcohol.  When you asked me how many women, I said seventeen, but the truth is I’m not positive.  There were some one night stands I might have forgotten, and I’m not real proud looking back on that.” 

“Dare, cut yourself some slack.”

“I can’t, Rylie.  I’m in charge of my actions.  This went on for about a year.  The Senior Chief Petty Officer of my unit sat me down and helped pull my head of my ass.  I don’t know what I would have done without him.  I drink now, but I never get drunk.  Never.” 

She leaned over and gave him a hug.

“What was his name?

“Leif Heinrickson.”

“I hope to meet him one day, and thank him.”  Darius thought about his friend and winced.  He knew it might be awhile before Leif would be ready for that ‘thank you.' 

“Are you ready to tell me your story?”

Rylie nodded, then shook her head.

“Rylie?”

“Can I just tell you about Roger?”  She asked, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

Darius remembered how the house she had lived in with her foster parents had ended up burning down, and she had supposedly died when she was seventeen.  When she had been in Houston with him and his team, she lashed out at Drake and had made reference to her foster father coming into her room at night.  He knew her ‘ugly’ was going to be bad.  If she wanted to put off the story, he couldn’t blame her.

“Honey, you tell
your
story, at
your
pace.”

“Well, there was this nice man named Roger. I’m sure you’d like him,” she started with a peppy smile.

“Okay, let me stop you there.”

“What?”

“You don’t have to tell me the ugly.  You don’t have to tell me all the gory details, but no more bullshit, okay?  Do you really think I’d like this guy, Rylie?”  He paused.  “Really?” 

She ducked her head and said quietly.  “No.”

“Then can you just tell me the way it really was?  You started by saying you were messed up when you got involved with him.  So how was it with the two of you?”

“I was nineteen, and he was forty-two.”

“Jesus!”

“He was a nice guy.”

“Bullshit, he was a predator.”

“No, he wasn’t.  He was one of my professors at the community college.  He might have come on to me a little bit, but I was more than willing.  Look, there’s lots of reasons that I’m not going in to right now.  But I was fucked in the head about men, especially older men.  I figured it would be good for me to jump into the deep end.  When Roger showed an interest in me, I figured it would be perfect for me to have an affair with him.  It wasn’t like it was a love match or anything.”

Darius’ head hurt.

“He was really nice.”  She looked out the balcony window, and he stared at her profile.  She looked pensive, so he stroked her jaw.

“What, Rylie?” he asked softly.

“He was really nice, kind of.  It was confusing.  It was like he was nice only in certain ways, on the surface.  The kids said he was creepy.”

“Sawyer and Charlotte?”

“Yeah.  I should never have let him become involved with my family.  I should have kept him separate.  But we were together for a year.  Even though it was just an affair, he tried to make it more kind of.  It was weird.  I still don’t quite understand it.”

“What do you mean?”

“He always said he wanted nothing serious.  I was just trying to practice, so I thought it was perfect.  But then he started to act really weird.  He tried to tell me how to act.  How to dress, who I could talk to.  He once saw me studying with one of my classmates in the library and went ballistic.  It was so weird.  I had to quit that college to get away from him.”

“Couldn’t you have reported him?”

“I didn’t want him to get in trouble.  It was my fault.  I came onto him to begin with.”  Of course, she would think that.  “But the good news was that I definitely got over my phobia about having sex with older men.  And bonus, I got good at sex, even though I don’t like it.”

“I beg your pardon?”  Darius’ eyes darted towards the champagne bottle.  He might just have to start seriously drinking again.

“I don’t like sex, but it doesn’t scare me.  But Roger loved having sex with me, and he told me all the time how good I was at it.  Especially blow jobs.  So would you like to have sex now?”  Darius clenched his fist so he wouldn’t reach for the bottle.

“Ow.”  He looked down and saw that he had tightened his hand on her foot.

“Sorry.”

“Are you all right?” Rylie asked.

“Not really.  Can we dial this back just a little?”

“Dare, we need to be comfortable with one another.  When we get to the island, we’re going to be under a microscope.  It’s going to be patently obvious that we’re not acting like lovers if we don’t start practicing tonight.”

Darius winced at the word ‘practicing.’

“Rylie, how about we talk and cuddle a little bit and see where that takes us?” 
Had that really just come out of his mouth?

“Did you really suggest we cuddle instead of fuck?”

“Did you really just say fuck?”  Again Rylie ducked her head.

“Well, what would you call it?”

“Not fucking,” he exclaimed.  “Rylie, I met you six months ago, and I haven’t slept with anyone since.  There’s something between us I want to explore.”

“Nobody?”

“Nobody.”  He smiled at her glowing face.

“I’ve been thinking about you too.  But I’m not sure what to do.”