Her Guardians: Her Guardians Trilogy Book 1 (18 page)

Even in the dark
, I saw his smirk. “But why would you do that and then disappear? You’d take my virginity and then disappear.”

Rising from the bed, Stephen rushed
over to me. In the shadows, I could still see that we were both half-naked. His broad shoulders and heaving chest was a distraction, to say the least. In an effort to look away, I concentrated on covering my chest as much as I could, but then Stephen grabbed my top.

“Here.”
Holding out his hand, he motioned for me to retrieve it. “You know, I would never do that to you.”

“What?”
I was feeling upset with myself. I had never been in a situation even remotely close to this before. I felt like a wench, lusting after two men at the same time.

“I’d never leave you.
I would never take what you have knowing that I would end up leaving you. That isn’t right. What’s put this idea into your head?” He paused for a moment, then sighed heavily. “It would seem you have already had this conversation with Michael.”

I felt really ashamed then.
Now Stephen knows Michael and I have been intimate after I just nearly had sex with him. How can I go from
not
having anyone in my life at all, to having
two
, that I can’t stop thinking about, throw themselves at me?

“I…I
…” How could I explain myself?

“Don’t worry about it, Twinkles
. You like Michael, I take it?” His voice sounded a little reserved.

“Yes,” I sigh
ed. He stroked my cheek, picking up a tear along the way. I closed my eyes at his touch as he pulled me towards him.

“You don’t have to feel bad.
I didn’t think Michael would feel that way about you enough to have that kind of conversation. I thought he would steer clear. When he forbid me to take advantage of you, I thought he was just trying to protect you. I was obviously wrong. I can tell you one thing, though. I feel the same way and, if you asked me, I would give you anything you wanted.”

“Bu
t I never would.” I felt so sad and remorseful knowing that he would give me what I wanted.

“I know you wouldn’t.
That’s why Michael will end up making a grave mistake, and you will be left heartbroken. I don’t want to see that. I know some people think I’m a bad boy, but I still have feelings. I still care.”

This was too torturous for words.
I had one man I had been dreaming of my whole life within arm’s reach. He was there, but not quite there. The man that I had dreamed and fantasised over for months on end was within my grasp. Then there was Stephen. A man who doesn’t care so much about the rules, a man who sets my heart alight. A man who would give it all up if I asked him to—not that there was anything to give up.

God, this
was why it was so hard. I couldn’t even believe I was having this debate in my head. I chose Michael and now that I have Stephen with me, I’m confused about my feelings. When I was with him, I felt cherished. I felt loved. I felt wanted—but he’s not Michael.

I did
something completely unexpected and caressed his cheek. He leaned his head into my hand and kissed my palm. “I’m sorry,” I said, trying hard not to cry.

“You don
’t ever have to be sorry, Twinkles. I’m here for you. No matter what your choices are.”

“I wa
s dreaming. I was confused.”

“I realise that now.
I wish it wasn’t that way, but that’s the way it is, I suppose.”

Stephen sat
down on the bed and I couldn’t help but feel really bad for him. What would Michael think of me if he knew what I just did? What would Stephen think of me?

My thoughts were conflicting.
I had Michael, sort of, but I could have all of Stephen. He would give it all up in a heartbeat if I asked him to, but I could never do that to him. He was trying to be better and he wanted to go home. Who was I to ask him to give that up? It wouldn’t be right.

It was then
that I realised it. I didn’t just love Michael. I loved Stephen, too. How messed up am I? How could I go from not wanting to know anyone, to loving two men at the same time? It was pure torture.

“Twinkles, don’t think about this too much.
It’s okay, honestly.”

“I feel awful,” I answered
.

“Well
, there’s no need to be. Above all else, I am your friend first. Whatever you decide after that is up to you. No pressure from me.”

He came over to me and gave me a warm hug.
I couldn’t help but relax in his arms and breathe in his beautiful scent. It was always a lovely smell.

We stayed
like that for a while until we realised it was time to get back to bed. It was one o’clock in the morning so we still had a lot of hours of sleep to catch up on.

We reluctantly pull
ed away from each other and headed back to bed. Sleeping was going to come hard for me now.

Chapter 10

I was floating on that beautiful cloud again, Stephen with me. He began to caress and stroke my cheek as I lay there, feeling lighter than air. I immediately felt safe and protected wrapped up in his beautiful arms.

Soon
, a figure appeared in the distance. As the figure came closer, my breath caught. She was the most beautiful figure I had ever seen. She was all dressed in white with very long, flowing golden hair. She smiled when she saw me and put her hands out. Instinctively, I reached out to her, knowing that I was safe. I seemed to recognise her, but couldn’t quite place exactly where I had seen her before.

“My child,” she
spoke, caressing my cheek. “You need to make a choice.”

I woke up, gasping for air, sweat dripping down my back.

“Twinkles, are you ok
ay?” Stephen’s tone was calm as he nudged me gently. “You were dreaming again.”

He sat on the bed next to me and pulled
me to him. His grip felt familiar and it instantly relaxed me.

I felt
a sudden sadness at the loss of the woman’s touch. I didn’t know who she was, but I felt a familiar peace with her. It was almost hypnotic.

“I keep having the same dream, but this one was different.
A woman came to me.”

Stephen moved his head back to try and get a better look at me.
“Hold up a sec. Start from the beginning.”

“I’m always on a cloud with light surrounding me.
I feel safe and secure. This time, a woman came to me.”

“What did she look like?”

“She was dressed in white with the most beautiful flowing, golden hair. I’ve never seen hair like it.” It made me ache for her. I didn’t even know who she was, but something inside me was telling me different.

“Did she say anything to you?”

“Does it matter? It was only a dream.”

Stephen swept a strand of hair behind my ear and smiled.
“It matters. You may have been given a message.”

“From who?”

“Charisma. From the way you describe her, it sounds very much like Charisma.”

Charisma, I knew that name.
“Hold on. Michael told me about her. She was the one who sent him to protect me.”

He nodded his head and sighed.
“That sounds about right.”

“Why would she want to send me a message?”

“It’s how they do things when they want someone to take notice.”

I had to know more.
Everything about angels fascinated me. “What do you mean?”

“Well, have you ever not seen anyone you know for months or even years
, then you bump into them one day and you keep bumping into them?”

I had to pause for a moment to smile.
I guess that had happened to me from time to time. “I suppose so, yes.”

“
Most likely, that’s them telling you both to hook up, telling you that you need that person in your life for whatever reason. It’s the same if you see the same word over and over again, or a sign that pops out in front of you from nowhere and keeps popping up until you notice.” He pauses for a brief moment, smiles, then says, “Or a song perhaps.”

I saw his cheeky grin and knew exactly what he was talking about.
“Like that song you told me about that day at the pub.”

“That’s correct.
I still keep hearing it. In fact, I heard it this morning. Or, shall I say, yesterday morning…considering its six o’clock now.”

It fascinated me to think that angels were out there watching over us, sending us messages without us realising.
“What do you think they’re trying to tell you?”

He shrugged his shoulders.
“I don’t know. All I know is I have been hearing it ever since the day we met. It can’t be a coincidence. I believe everything changed the day I laid eyes on you. Maybe they were just confirming the facts.

“
Anyway, enough about me. I want to hear what the lovely Charisma said. She has always been a favourite of mine.”

Closing my eyes momentarily
, I pictured her in my head. The way she had her hand out to me, willing me to listen. “She said, ‘My child, you need to make a choice’.”

He looked
a little shocked. I was a little, too. I didn’t know whether she meant Stephen and Michael, or something else entirely.

Stephen frowned a little, but the smile soon appeared again.
“She called you ‘my child’?”

“Yes.”

Stephen paused a moment as if debating whether he should speak whatever was on his mind. “Okay. Do you think she means Michael and me?”

Cringing a little
, I understood why he paused for a moment before he said it. I didn’t want him knowing I was torn the way I was. I would be devastated if someone did this to me. In fact, I didn’t think I would be able to stick around long enough to see what choice they made. It’s not something I would want to put myself through.

“I don’t know,
” I answered truthfully. I didn’t want to lie to Stephen. He didn’t deserve that.

He
took a deep breath and wrapped his arm around me. “Well, let’s not think about this too much. If it’s important, she will come again.”

“Do you think so?”
I was excited at the prospect.

“Maybe
.” His laughter filled the room. “Was it a good experience?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
“I felt wonderful around her.”

“She does that to you.
She’s a wonderful lady.”

“Does she have a mate
, or whatever you call it?”

He laughed
again. “Yes. Archangel Gabriel.”

“Have you ever met him?”
I knew I was asking twenty questions here, but it was almost as if my mind was willing me to soak it all in. I had to get as much knowledge as I could.

“On occasion.
It’s been a number of years, as you know.”

“What’s he like?”

He cringed a little, putting me on edge a bit. Maybe this Gabriel was a sore subject for him. Pretty soon, though, he relaxed and smiled down at me. “Are you normally like this every morning?”

“Like what?”
I asked, breathing in his sweet, familiar scent.

“Asking twenty questions and looking like sex
on legs with your hair all tousled the way it is?”

Giggling like crazy
, I slapped him playfully. “Stephen Faron, you are a very naughty boy.”

“I try my best,” he said
with that impish grin.

I kind of gathered he didn’t like this Gabriel, but I still had to know.
“Are you going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?
Oh, right. Gabriel. You distracted me there for a moment.”

“Are you ea
sily distracted, Stephen?” I was playing with fire, but I couldn’t help it.

“You easily distract me.”

We stared at each other for a moment, lost in each other eyes. I couldn’t seem to tear them away from him.

He looked
at my lips for a few seconds, then cleared his throat. “He’s okay, I guess. I know he likes to play rugby from time to time. I don’t really know too much about him, to be honest.”

I couldn’t help the laughter
. “What’s so funny?” Stephen’s hint of sadness suddenly switched to playful intrigue.

“I don’t know.
I just can’t imagine angels doing such normal things, like playing rugby.”