Her Love Ran Crimson (Crimson Series) (6 page)

I start to get nervous. I haven’t had much interaction with anybody since my mom died trying to save me. The only other person I have really talked to is Mark. We don’t even talk about much. He just seems to understand my need for tattoos.

I sneak out my door, hoping the floor doesn’t creak. When I make it outside I let out a breath that I didn’t even realize I have been holding in and swiftly make my way to my car.

Even though I am in the safety of my car, I know I am not out of the woods yet. Frank can still call me and make me come home.

I arrive at the park about ten minutes later, pull into a spot, and cut the engine. I feel my heart rate start to pick up. I try to take calming breaths to ease my nervousness. I am a couple of minutes early, so I get out of my car and look around to see if I can spot Jase’s car. I head over to a bench near the entrance of the park where I can see the cars as they arrive.

A moment later Jase pulls in. The butterflies instantly take flight, fluttering around the pit of my stomach. I am excited that I agreed to try this crazy activity of his. I see him pull out a backpack and he head toward me. I am just hoping that I don’t fall to my death trying to climb these huge boulders that are stacked on top of each other. I hope I wore the right shoes for this.

“Hi,” he says very shyly, but shows his megawatt bright smile.

“Hey. How are you?” I say shakily. I hope he can’t tell how nervous I am. This is all new to me and I am trying to live by the saying of my new tattoo. Live for the moment. I can do this, I think to myself and start to smile genuinely. A sudden ease takes over my body as he reaches out and grabs my hand and starts to pull me to the trail.

“The trail will lead us to the spot we’ll be climbing. It’s about a half mile walk. You ready?”

“Okay… I…um hope I’m wearing the right stuff. I didn’t know what to wear since this is my first time doing this.” I stop walking when we reach the trailhead. I need a little boost to get me to start up that trail. I stand there picking my nails looking to the ground avoiding any eye contact. He grabs my hand again.

“You’re dressed fine. Don’t worry so much. This is going to be fun. I don’t want you thinking about that stuff. This is supposed to be relaxing and fun. I’m glad that this is a first for you and I get to share it with you.”

He lifts my chin with his hand, setting my skin on fire where he is touching me. Our eyes lock. I can see the softness in his eyes.

“So, I’ll ask you again. Are you ready?”

I nod my head slightly. My body complies and follows his lead. Feeling out of place, I keep messing with my hair, twirling it around my finger until it gets stuck. I am unsure of what to do with my hands. I don’t want to look like a fidgeting mess, so I shove my hands in the pockets of my sweatshirt. Although the walk is short, it’s intense. I am out of breath. I feel a pain in my side, which is probably from not being used to the exercise. Completely winded, I pant out, “Hold up, I have to take a break.”

I place my hands on my knees and take a couple huge slow breaths to try and stop the stabbing under my ribs. Jase walks back to where I am.

“You okay?”

He doesn’t even look out of breath. I feel completely inadequate. I am slowing him down.

“I’m good. I just need a small break. Go on and I’ll catch up.” My hands are shooing him along. Now that breathing is becoming easier, I stand up straight and begin to stretch out my side. As I reach my hands above my head my shirt lifts, breaking the contact with my pants and shows a little of my stomach.

”Nice,” Jase says.

Looking over at him I see him looking at the small patch of skin on display. I look down and see that my tattoos on each side of my hip bones are showing. I quickly put my hands down and try to cover them back up. Nobody knows about my tattoos. I am getting increasingly self-conscious by the second now that he has seen something I have never shown anybody. I briskly walk by him and make a little joke. “Come on. Catch up already, slow poke.” I try to get as far as possible in front of him. I hear his shoes on the gravel crunching and catching up to me quickly.

“Wait up. Did I miss something? You have tattoos?”

Now it’s getting beyond uncomfortable. I don’t like to talk about my tattoos. Hell, I don’t even let anybody other than Mark know they exist. This is uncharted territory for me. Trying to ignore the burning eyes that are glaring at me with curiosity, I continue up the trail.

“Why don’t you want to talk about them? I think they’re awesome. I want a bunch myself. I’m just not for sure on what I want to mark my body with for the rest of my life. I want some though.”

Now I am intrigued. I stop dead in my tracks and turn to face him, not knowing what to say next. Looking him over from head to toe, he looks too proper to want to be covered in ink. He just oozes of good preppy boy. I’m sure his parents wouldn’t like him to mark up his whole body. He just seems like the type who lets his parents control him. I can’t help the smile that slowly creeps up on my lips. Maybe I am getting ahead of myself thinking he isn’t like all the others. I would though love to see where he wants his first tat

“Come on, I thought you were taking me rock climbing.”

“Okay, but we will get to the bottom of these tattoos sometime.”

He pulls off his thermal long sleeve charcoal gray body hugging shirt. I stop dead in my tracks, unable to move or speak. He is left only wearing a black tank top that expose his huge arms. I am mesmerized by the sight in front of me. It feels like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs. The burning feeling in my chest reminds me to take a much needed breath. I’m trying to control the urge to reach out and trace my fingers along the lines of his chiseled abs. The closer I let Jase get to me, the more exposed the feelings become that he creates in me. It feels like lightning bolts striking my heart over and over.

When I catch his glance, we stand there for a moment gazing into each other’s eyes. I am in a trance. My brain is protesting the feelings, but my body defies it. We are face to face with our toes touching. I lick my bottom lip anticipating the moment when we might kiss. He leans in and his breath is now tickling my lips. Just when I think this is it I am suddenly brought down from my high.

“Coming through,” a runner yells out while he runs around us.

My face instantly heats. I’m embarrassed that I almost let this happen. I don’t know how that line just almost got crossed. Backing away quickly, I look down at the ground unsure how to act now.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have tried to do that. It won’t happen again,” he says with a frustrated sigh.

“No, um, really it was my fault. I’m sorry. How about we get to this rock climbing stuff?” I say as I slide my foot back and forth in the dirt, trying my hardest not to make eye contact with him.

We continue our walk on the trail until we end up at the spot where Jase has picked for us to climb. When we arrive, I look at the rocks. Most of them are smooth and beautiful earth-toned colors. I can feel the panic rise in my chest when I glance over and see a couple jagged ones that seem like they would hurt and leave permanent marks on my body if I fell down onto them. My breaths are coming in short and quick as I fixate on the rocks. I am picturing myself falling to my death. This is not how I pictured dying.

I am fighting the urge to flee. This is all a lot to take in. I’m not sure I have made the right decision agreeing to this. I start to get dizzy and bits and pieces of unknown memories are flashing in my head. It’s not clear to me when they are from. The sensation has a hold on me though. Something to do with this place is stirring up visions in my head. Flashes of brush, rocks, and what I think is a cave type of hideout are rigorously running through my mind. I feel like I am watching an old movie reel. The scenes are not playing smoothly. I can’t quite put together what it all means and why this is happening today out of all days.

“Maddie, you with me? You okay?” Jase whispers in my ear.

His voice causes me to jump back defensively. It took me a moment to remember where I was. I relax when I see him come into focus as my vision clears up. I don’t know when he became my comfort in troubling times, but I was grateful nonetheless.

“Sorry. I’m ready. Show me what to do.” I say still regaining my composure and sizing up the huge boulders in front of me. I can’t believe I am going to do this. What was I thinking?

After some instructions and demonstrations of where to grab onto and where to put my feet we are ready to start the climb. Despite my earlier misgivings, I now find I’m a little disappointed that we are not doing the big climbs with the ropes and harnesses. I might have liked to feel his strong arms around me while he got me set up into the harnesses and pulled tight around my body making me feel extra safe, but that still doesn’t stop the tingling feeling I have all over from him placing his hands on me when he shows me where to grab the rocks. I feel his strong chest press up against me. I almost faint when he grips my leg showing me where to place it. I nod, pretending I hear all of his instructions, but really I can only focus on the places still lingering with his touch.

The first step was the scariest. The second wasn’t as scary and by the time I was getting up higher it was mind blowing. I was doing it. With Jase not far behind me I finally got to the top of the rocks. I stand at the top and am in awe of the view we have from up here. It was utterly breathtaking. I see miles and miles of rolling hills, lush and green. You can almost make out the ocean on the other side of the mountains. There isn’t a cloud in the sky and the air is so fresh that it feels so smooth when you breathe it in. There are not many words to describe how I was feeling up here. Euphoric seems the best. I did it.

Not long after I got a second to myself to take in everything Jase was up here with me. I’m sure he knows how incredible this moment is for me, so he keeps his distance and gives me a moment. After the initial awe of the view wears off I look over at Jase. I was unable to hide the satisfied grin on my face. I didn’t have to say anything. The excitement on my face spoke volumes. He was a part of a pivotal moment in my life, and not out of coincidence, but because he wants to be. Even when I am long gone from this city, I will always remember this one moment and will cherish Jase who made this possible. I will forever be grateful for this day.

“You did it. It wasn’t so bad getting up here now was it? I just knew this was something you had to see from up here. I’m so glad you decided to come,” he says while I am admiring the vast valley underneath us,

“This is amazing! I’ve never seen anything like this. Thanks for convincing me.” I catch a look in his eyes and it sends chills all the way down to my core. I break my private moment by saying, “So how do we get down?” There is nothing I want more than to stay up here with Jase, but I am scared Frank will call me and I don’t want anything to ruin this for me. I want to remember this time here, with nothing being able to kill the magic.

“The same way we came up. I’ll go first. Just follow my lead and the rocks I use. You’re safe with me. Do you trust me?” he asks extending his hand to me.

All I can do is nod in response and take his hand letting him lead me to where we will start to descend back down to my reality. My misery. I don’t want to leave.

Chapter Eight

I never knew how incredibly sore I would be after the climb. I used muscles I never knew I had. It is hard to even carry my backpack, so instead I make sure to run by my locker and drop off my backpack and just take my book and folder for each class.

Jase has only texted me once since Saturday’s rock climb. Maybe it’s for the best, but it makes me uneasy and self-conscious. I wonder if I did or said something wrong. The way my heart races and the way I can’t say no is exactly what I don’t need. There is a stab of disappointment in not seeing him so far today.

I am used to the others at school looking at me with hate and pure disgust. I often see them whispering to each other and pointing when I walk by. It was hard at first. I wanted to run and hide. I wanted to disappear and never come back to this school. The threats Frank makes are the only reason I am still here. He makes sure I am too scared to leave. He makes it clear every day that I can never run far enough away to escape him. He will always be watching me. The dirty looks and whispers have subsided mostly. It isn’t such an issue for me anymore, but it is starting up again. I might have to cut out of school early. I don’t have the energy to go through this again. I thought I was past this.

I walk to my locker so I can grab my stuff to get out of here. I pass by some girls who are talking. I overhear their conversation as I take my time getting my stuff.

“I heard he actually took her out this weekend. Like in public. He just killed his rep here,” one of the girls, Rebecca, said to her friend.

Rebecca and I had been friends until she turned her back on me when all the shit happened to me. She has been the one spreading all the crap about me and participating in the bullying I have been going through. Since she knows me on a very personal level, she knows things were bad for me. She is using things only she knows about me to ruin me. I don’t understand why she is doing this to me. It hurts a little bit deeper. I know it shouldn’t because I should expect this from her now. I just want to disappear and not exist here anymore. I want to be able to walk around without the whispers and snickers. I guess I should feel lucky they aren’t tripping and shoulder bumping me anymore. I still occasionally get a hateful note on my locker or car window, but that’s mild in comparison to how it was right after.

I try my hardest to rise above it, but I can’t seem to shake it. I slam my locker door shut causing the bitches to jump and head for the front doors of the school to get out of here. I need to get away. It hurts knowing I am bringing Jase down with me. I know what I have to do even if it breaks my heart. I have to stop hanging out with him. I can’t be seen around the halls with him, or any place for that matter.