Her Perfect Man (13 page)

Huge impression
. Duh. Talk about an understatement. It must have turned his whole fucking world upside down.

Kim’s lips were numb when she spoke. “That must have been so hard for you. For everyone.”

“For me?” He blinked as though he’d never considered how he’d been affected. “It was hell for my parents. And Kev, too. He was in and out of rehab so many times. He ran away, he was on the streets for a while. He even spent some time in jail.

But then he’d get sober for a bit. Those were the good times. That was when that picture was taken.”

He indicated the photo on the shelf. “But he couldn’t lick it. He just couldn’t stay away from the stuff—pills, coke, speed, anything he could get his hands on.” “It’s a disease,” Kim murmured, echoing what she’d heard on any number of talk shows and TV

specials.

He nodded. “It’s a disease. Yeah. I know.” His face became a mask as he tried to be calm, tried to hold it together. Then the mask cracked and he blew. “Shit! I don’t care. I don’t care if it’s a disease, I am so fucking pissed at him. He threw it all away, his whole fucking life. It’s such a goddamn waste.”

He pounded the rest of his beer and clapped the bottle on the coffee table.

A moment later, he shook his head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to go there.” He picked up the empty bottle and carried it into the kitchen.

Kim kept her seat, stunned. It was a shock, Charlie blowing up like that. Not that he didn’t have every right. But it was so unlike him, so unlike his normal easy-going self.

Was Kevin the reason Charlie was so careful about doing the right thing? Was he trying to make up for the mistakes of his older brother? If Kevin was a cause of concern and grief, maybe Charlie wanted to be a source of pride.

Kim went into the kitchen and found him standing at the sink, gripping the edge, and staring down into it. She came up behind him, pressed her cheek against his back and wrapped her arms around him. At first, he stood stiffly in her embrace.

After a bit, he relaxed.

“Thanks for listening.” His voice was raspy and low. Kim leaned into him gratefully. He’d shared his past with her, shown her a different Charlie. He was not just the got-it-all-together responsible teacher.

The laid-back guy with the million-watt smile. He’d suffered tremendous hurt and had lost someone he loved and looked up to. She was incredibly moved that he’d trusted her enough to show her that part of him. “Thanks for telling me.”

Kim stood in front of the supermarket’s butcher’s case and speed-dialed Charlie’s number on her cell phone.

“Hello?”

“Do you like chicken?” she asked in way of greeting.

“Huh? Well, yeah.”

“Cause they’ve got something here at GoodSavings—what’s it called?” she asked the man behind the counter. “Oh, yeah. Chicken Florentine.

It’s got like spinach rolled inside—do you like spinach?”

“Yes, I like spinach. I like just about everything except liver. Kim, whatever you make will be fine.”

“Yeah, well you haven’t tasted my cooking yet.”

She’d invited Charlie for dinner and though excited at the prospect, she was also nervous. Her repertoire consisted mainly of microwave meals and take-out.

Did she even own a cookbook? “Look, they’ve got this other chicken rolled with ham and cheese inside. Or maybe red meat is better. Men like steak. Should I fix steak?”

“Fix steak. Or fix chicken. Whatever.”

She gave a huff of frustration. “You’re no help.

Keep it up, you’ll get hot dogs and beans.”

“I like hot dogs and beans.”

“Uh-huh. Hey, uh, listen. Would you like to go to a party with me?” She’d wanted to mention it sooner but kept losing her nerve. It felt easier to ask over the phone than face-to-face.

“A party.”

“Yeah. For my parents. It’s their anniversary. At their house. In a few weeks. It’ll be really boring.

You know what, you’d probably hate it. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She was babbling. God, why had she even brought it up? Because she was scared to face her family alone. Having Charlie along would make her feel safer.

But how fair was it to subject him to them? “I have to be there, but why should you suffer, too?”

“I’d be glad to go.”

“I—you—what? Really?”

“Sure. If I’m free that night. What’s the date?”

“August sixteenth. It’s a Saturday.”

“Looks clear,” he told her after checking his calendar. “We’ll firm up the plans later.”

“Sure. Later’s good.”

She clicked the phone shut with a smile and a wonderful sense of lightness. All indecision gone, she selected the steak and spent several minutes with the counter man discussing exactly how to cook it.

Kim felt much easier as she rolled her shopping cart along the back aisle. She’d broil the steak, bake some potatoes—even she could handle that—get one of those pre-packaged salads, some garlic bread and pick out maybe some Ben and Jerry’s for dessert.

Ha! This cooking thing, what a snap.

The night Charlie told her about his brother, she felt closer to him than to anyone she’d ever known.

He’d honored her in sharing such a private, painful part of his life. Later, side by side on the sofa, they’d paged through a book on Renaissance Art, appreciating the beauty of the work and the tremendous talent of men long dead.

They’d spent a lot of time together this July.

Charlie had taken her to several baseball games in Syracuse and promised they’d see some basketball games once the season started. They’d explored ethnic cuisine at some tiny area restaurants where he encouraged her to expand her tastes beyond pizza and burgers. He’d even managed to drag her out-of-shape ass on a nature hike. Not that she didn’t complain most of the way. But it was all good.

He wasn’t always in the driver’s seat, though.

When he asked what she’d like to do one weekend, she decided they’d visit a nearby museum where a collection of folk quilts were on display. She snickered now, remembering his momentary look of surprise. They wandered through the exhibit, admiring the handiwork and designs. They peered at the tiny stitches done by hand and marveled at the sheer amount of time and eyestrain involved. They had a spirited discussion as to whether some art forms were dismissed because they were seen as “women’s work.”

She’d had a wonderful time. No one who knew Kim Hansen would have ever believed it.

****

Charlie smiled as he slipped the phone back into his jacket pocket. He returned to scanning the seemingly endless shelves of wine in Goldman’s Liquors. So many to choose from—and he didn’t even know whether to get red or white. He decided to split the difference and buy a bottle of rosé.

With his purchase tucked in the crook of his arm, Charlie strolled along Second Street. The wine was his contribution to tonight’s dinner. It was funny that Kim wanted to cook for him, and he was a bit apprehensive how it would all turn out. But even if the meal was inedible, he didn’t care. He was touched that she seemed eager to do this for him. It was another milestone in their relationship.

They’d spent a lot of time together these past few weeks, getting to know each other. And he liked what he knew. Oh, sure, Kim could be argumentative and stubborn, and God knew she had been a pain in the ass when they went on that nature hike.

“How much farther?”

“Wait, slow down.”

“Ouch, there’s something in my shoe.”

“I’m thirsty. Is there any more water?”

“How much farther? Are you kidding me?”

And just when he’d about gotten to the end of his patience with her whining, she’d grabbed his arm and pointed to a cardinal perched on a branch.

Its red feathers were a bright splash of warmth among the cool green leaves of the maple tree.

“How pretty,” she’d whispered as they both stood gazing at the bird. The cardinal rested long enough for them to admire him, then winged away, disappearing among the trees.

A bit later she suggested they sit on a fallen log to rest. She then removed two slightly squashed cupcakes from her fanny pack and offered him one.

It was delicious. They washed the cupcakes down with sips from his water bottle.

That’s what spending time with Kim was like.

Occasionally frustrating, often surprising, and almost always fun.

Charlie’s steps slowed as he approached a florist’s. Through the storefront window, his gaze lit on a cluster of red roses in a crystal vase.

The words of a poem sprang into his head
. My love is like a red red rose…

Your
love
? You’re moving a little fast, Chuckles.

Kevin’s voice laughed in his head.
Slow your roll there, bud.
Next thing you know, you’ll be mooning in jewelry store windows, checking out the rings…

Oh, shut up
.

Ooh, touchy, aren’t we? Yeah, you’re toast, Chuckles. Poor Chuck amuck. Head over ass in love.

So what?
Charlie replied.

Kev had no answer to that. Poor Kevin. He’d had plenty of girls, but as far as Charlie knew, he’d never been in love.

Charlie gazed at his reflection in the florist’s window.
I’m looking at a man in love.

And it felt good to recognize that. Hell, it felt great.

If this were a movie musical, he’d burst into song and start dancing down the sidewalk like Gene Kelly. But since he wasn’t much of a dancer, and his singing would scare the pigeons, he just gave his reflection a smile and resumed his stroll. A melody in his heart.

I love you, Kev
,
but when it comes to love, you don’t know shit.

And from now on, stay the hell out of my head, all right?

****

Kim swerved the cart down the supermarket aisle and scanned the shelves for Italian bread. Her glance flicked to a bearded man tossing a loaf of bread into his cart. She looked away, but her heartbeat stuttered when recognition kicked in. Dale Novak. She hadn’t seen him since high school.

Suddenly a film of sweat covered her face. She quickly skated her cart to the next aisle, out of his line of sight.
Calm down. Maybe it’s not him
.

Walking slowly, she forced herself to take measured breaths. The items on the shelves dissolved into a blur before her eyes.
Don’t be stupid
.

So what if it is him? High school was a long time ago. Get over it.

She
was
over it. Or had been until she saw Dale, and all the awful memories came flooding back.

But why would he be back in town? As far as she knew, he’d left Summit after graduation, and she hadn’t seen him since.

Duh, Kim. He’s got family here. Why wouldn’t he come back to see them?

She could go. Just leave the shopping cart right here in the middle of the store and walk out.
Go on.

Get out of here. What are you waiting for?
But her feet were frozen in place and her fingers clenched the cart handle so tightly her knuckles were white.

Before she could decide what to do, Dale turned down her aisle. It was him, no doubt about it. She couldn’t move.

He scanned the cereal boxes and picked up one with a cartoon character on the box, something kids would eat. As he tossed it in the cart, he looked up at her and hesitated, maybe wondering if it was truly her. Just as she wondered about him. Then he smiled.

“Hey.”

More than a decade later, that smile still made her stomach flutter. She found herself smiling back.

“Hi.” “Wow, it’s…this is pretty…”

“Yeah. Weird, huh?” Kim’s voice became husky.

She felt almost strangled by the clog in her throat.

He shook his head. “No, I was going to say…”

His words trailed off. “Wow. You look just the same.”

Was that good or bad? She didn’t want to know.

“You don’t.” She touched her chin to indicate his goatee and mustache.

He rubbed his chin and laughed self-consciously.

“Yeah. Back when we were kicking it, I wasn’t even shaving yet.”

Kim stiffened.
Kicking it?
That’s what they’d been doing?

He must have noticed the way she froze, because he quickly asked, “So what have you been up to?”

“Oh, whatever.” She shrugged. “You know.

Working, all that…”

“Where you working?”

“I’m a teacher.” As soon as that popped out of her mouth, she wanted to snatch it back. Was she embarrassed to tell Dale that she schlepped coffee drinks for a living?

His eyes widened. “Oh, really? That’s great. I didn’t know you were interested in that. Teaching.”

“Yeah, well.” The teacher thing must have popped into her head because of Charlie. The lie made her tongue thick and clumsy. “What about you?”

His face colored a bit. “Was in construction. But things got tough when the housing market tanked.

So, now I’m a stay-at-home dad and my wife brings home the bacon.”

Kim barely registered what he said. Only the word
dad
resounded. Her eyes flashed to the wedding ring on his left hand. “Ah. You’re married.”

“Yeah.” He grinned. “Got two little monsters, too.” Kim thought she would throw up when he reached for his back pocket and withdrew a wallet.

Don’t, don’t, don’t
.

Dale flipped the wallet open and showed her a picture of two little boys. Kim hardly glanced at it.

“Oh. How cute.” She hoped her enthusiasm didn’t sound as faked to him as it did to her.

But why should she care what some old high school boyfriend thought?

Some old boyfriend? Get real. He was the guy who knocked you up.

All water under the bridge now. Right?

“Yeah,” he grinned. “They keep me running.”

Then, perhaps remembering their old connection, his smile faded, leading to an awkward pause. “We’re just in town for a family thing. A reunion.”

Kim was numb. “Oh. Nice.” She made a show of looking at her wristwatch. “Wow, I gotta—it was nice seeing you—”

“Yeah, nice—”

“I’ve really got to get going—”

“Yeah, sure.” He gave her a lopsided smile.