Her Secret Dom (22 page)

His eyes narrowed. “Of course.” He led her toward the sofa. When they settled in, he turned to her, still wary. “Okay. Shoot.”

She folded her hands on her lap and began. “My father was a drug addict. When my parents first met, he was a user but still functioning. She was ten years older, but they hit it off really well. He moved in and she remained blind to his irresponsible ways for quite some time. That is until she got pregnant. When she told him, he took off.”

Jared had remained stock-still, but his facial expressions had run the gamut. Shock. Rapt interest. Then a deep sadness, as if the outcome was already clear.

She swallowed hard and resumed. “It broke her heart. By then, she was forty and thought her chances for marriage and baby-making had passed. She felt she had been given a second chance.”

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, encouraging her to continue.

“She eventually tracked him down. His family hails from Michigan. At the time, she was five months along, but he refused to see her. His family had wealth and connections, you see, and they were always able to shield him from his responsibilities.”

“Classic enablers,” he murmured.

“Yes,” Pam agreed. “She threatened to go after him, even though DNA evidence was still in its infancy and child support laws weren’t as stringent as they are now. They threatened in kind and accused her of seducing a younger man for money. They said she was an old whore and the family would never acknowledge her bastard child. Also, if she persisted, they would sue her for harassment.”

Rage poured off him in waves. “Fucking bastards. Absolute scum.” He looked away, visibly fighting for control. Finding it, he turned back to her. “Sorry. Go ahead, sugar.”

“She returned to New York, needing to support herself and get on with her life. She hoped, in time, he would contact her before the birth, but he didn’t. When I was born, she sent the Mulligans—that’s the family name—a letter and a few photos, hoping to soften their hearts. They responded by mailing back a lawyer’s business card.”

Jared’s hand tightened on hers, yet he kept his face impassive. He reached out and stroked her cheek. The tender gesture nearly sidetracked her, but the need to confess kept her going.

“They are snobs of the worst kind,” she stated, keeping her voice unemotional and flat. “They fancied themselves as superior because they had money and connections. They mocked her political beliefs, her background, her handmade clothes. Although the black sheep of the family, my father was still better than her, a working class nobody from the Bronx.”

Jared’s cell phone went off, the ringtone indicating a business call. He barely acknowledged the interruption, except to say, “Ignore it.”

“Mom decided I was better off without them and anyone who would deny their own blood was less than dirt. She didn’t want a damn thing from them, not even their money. So from then on, it was just the two of us.”

Jared extended a slight smile. “And you both did just fine.”

“Yes, we did,” Pam agreed, lifting her chin. “When I was twelve, he contacted Mom. He’d just gotten out of rehab and wanted to make amends as part of his twelve-step program. Even so, he made her sign an agreement stipulating she would forgo back child support and all future support. Otherwise, he wouldn’t see me. Wanting for me to have some sort of father figure, she agreed.”

Jared’s disgusted expression made her pause. She waited for him to say something, but he remained grim and silent.

“We met him at a local diner. I remember he looked older than my mother. Even though he was clean at the time, he still looked like a junkie—sallow skin, vacant expression. I wanted to bond at some level, but I felt resentful. I couldn’t manage it. I just didn’t like him—he gave me the creeps.”

Jared’s self-imposed silence broke. “Did he do anything out of line?” he growled.

Pam put up a hand. “Later.” She took a deep breath. “I saw him a couple of times afterward, always with my mom. I couldn’t like him. His abandonment angered me too much.” She looked away, her chin trembling.

“Pam.” Jared’s voice was soft. “Look at me.”

She did, but her mouth wobbled. Taking a moment to collect herself, she continued. “One day after school, the doorbell rang. It was him. I looked through the peephole and saw he’d brought a huge teddy bear—I was an avid collector at the time—and against my better judgment, I let him in.”

“Oh, God.” Jared’s face had turned ashen.

He reached out for her, and she scooted closer. “I realized later he was stoned. I-I can’t get into it totally now…but he made some weird comments about how grown-up I was…” She stopped and looked away again.

“Pam.”

She locked her gaze with Jared’s, and the familiar shame seared through her. “He said I should kiss him for bringing a present. I told him no. For some reason, my refusal pissed him off. He grabbed my arm and kissed me on the lips.” Her eyes closed and she shuddered. “I thought I was going to vomit. Instead, I punched him in the Adam’s apple like my cousin Simon showed me. Then I locked myself in the bathroom and screamed my head off. He ran away, but my neighbors caught him and beat him up.”

“Good.” Jared’s satisfaction was profound.

“Mom was inconsolable. She thought it was her fault.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

Pam nodded. “I know. This time, his family couldn’t rescue him. He had a record by then…” Her voice drifted off and she squared her shoulders. “Days before he was due in court, he OD’d. Heroin. No one knows for sure if it was suicide. I guess it doesn’t matter…either way, he’s gone.”

She hid her face in her hands, unable to say more. Jared pulled her onto his lap as she wept and held on tight. She poured out her regret, her confusion, all her rage onto his raggedy, old T-shirt. When he made soothing noises and offered tissues, she cried all the harder because it felt good to be comforted.

When her tears were spent, he turned her face up to him. “Feeling better, baby?” he inquired. She nodded and sniffed. He took another tissue and held it to her nose. “Blow,” he instructed.

“Jaaared…” Pam protested.

With infinite tenderness, Jared thumbed away another escaped tear and waited, his bearing patient but expectant.

Sighing, she blew and grimaced. “Gross.” Pam rested against him and pouted. “Don’t look at me. I cry so damned ugly.”

He snorted a laugh. “Do not.” His gaze wandered over her face. “Even now, you’re beautiful.”

“Now I know you love me,” she quipped.

Jared’s smile faded. “I do. Very much.”

Her heart fluttered with joy. She would never tire of hearing those words. “And I love you.”

He shifted her on his lap. “So you had your secrets as well. Why didn’t you tell me?”

She gave a small shrug. “It’s an ugly story…a very dark time in my life. I know it’s not my fault, but still there’s the shame.”

“Well, I can relate,” he said. He smoothed a hand over her shirt. “Your story explains an awful lot. Your body issues. The intolerance toward those with wealth. Your sexual inhibitions.”

It was her turn to snort. “Sexual inhibitions? You say this after all we’ve shared?”

“I’ll rephrase, then.
Former
issues.”

Yes. She knew the healing process had begun for the both of them. Time to put those issues behind them and start fresh.

“Jared,” she exclaimed. “Do you realize ever since you exposed your Dominant side, so many of our secrets have come to light?”

Jared nodded. “It’s like a floodgate. Once I shared that part of me and stopped hiding, the rest came naturally.” He gripped her arms. “Remember when we spoke of lies of omission? How people cover up from fear? Well, I’m done with that.”

Pam smiled at him, the love she felt a salve for her heart. “You’re a good man. And an inherently honest one. I’ve always known that. Also, I don’t care whether you were a rich army brat”—her smile widened at his dark look—“or some regular Joe Schmoe. I love the whole package. Just stay true to your nature and it’ll be all right.”

“You do the same, missy. Don’t hold back from me either. The Dom in me won’t allow it, you know.”

A thrill ran through her at his bossy tone. “Yes, Sir.”

Jared brought both of her hands to his lips and kissed each palm. “I love you beyond my ability to express. I have no secrets left. And I promise to keep it that way. It will be my joy to spend the coming years showing you my true self and just how much I love you.”

“You exposed your true self already. That’s why I fell in love with you.”

Jared massaged her ass. “On the subject of exposure…are you wearing the plug? I have special plans for you this weekend.”

“No,” she admitted, giving him a sheepish look. “I know. I promised to wear it the next time we met.”

“So, why didn’t you follow my instructions?” he asked in a stern voice.

“I was mad and removed it the minute I got home. And I haven’t worn it since.”

“You’ve just earned ten swats,” he said severely. “Go into the bedroom and assume the position. You’ve got five minutes. No, two.”

Pam hurried to his room to do as he instructed. As she waited for her Dom, she smiled to herself. She had considered wearing the plug before coming over but chose not to. The consequences of disobeying him were clear, but hell, she wanted to feel some heat on her ass tonight.

But she wasn’t about to let
him
know that.

It was her little secret.

Epilogue

Jared strolled around the glittering ballroom of his parents’ house, pausing every few feet to greet guests. He smiled his charming best, wishing all the while Pam would hurry up and finish changing so she could take her rightful place beside him. No doubt she and her bestie, Katherine, were busy sipping champagne and yakking away while he played host to the throngs all by his lonesome.

She was in for some serious punishment later on. He knew she’d beg him to go easy on her, but in the end she would submit as sweetly as ever. Just thinking about it made his balls ache.

With considerable effort, he dragged his attention away from his randy cock to the present shindig. It was quite a turnout, and, fortunately, his parents’ ballroom and gardens were large enough to contain the crowd.

He perused the room with deep satisfaction. His and Pam’s families were interacting quite nicely, as were her coworkers and several employees of Marlowe Security. A few of his army buddies and a handful of Washington dignitaries mingled with Bethesda’s best families. An eclectic group to be sure.

The booze was flowing, and the guests were beginning to loosen up after the beautiful but formal ceremony. His mother and sister, Alicia, were sticklers for tradition and had kept a tight rein on the entire event.

Now a busy law student, Pam had delegated most of the planning to them. Both were micromanaging perfectionists and took to the project with great enthusiasm. Even so, Pam had her stipulations—one being the occasion not be overly formal.

Clearly, her wish had been granted for the reception. Jared watched with amusement as her gangly cousin Simon danced with a distant relation of the Marlowes…his third cousin Emily, he now recalled. A refined little miss, she melted into uncontrollable giggles when Simon began twerking, bumping his skinny ass up and down in time to the beat. Soon, several of Pam’s coworkers joined them, and they all started a hilarious group dance.

Jared chuckled at their high spirits and continued working the room. After a few words with a respected Southern senator, he wandered by the french doors leading to his mother’s prized gardens. The doors were opened to the balmy summer evening, and he paused to watch the revelers stroll along the winding, lantern-lit paths. A soft breeze cooled his face and the heady fragrance of June roses filled his senses.

It had been the perfect day to get married, and it was a glorious night to celebrate that union.

Jared sensed his wife’s presence and turned eagerly.

He watched as Pam descended the stairway, her hardworking maid of honor, Katherine, still fussing beside her. Pam looked in his direction, and his heart clenched when she smiled just for him. He lowered his gaze from her glowing face and took in her reception dress. It was a flowing ivory gown that covered everything and hid nothing. Blame it on his firsthand knowledge of her juicy curves, but she looked a bit naughty despite the dress’s modest cut.

Pride and love filled him when she paused several times to speak with their guests, looking poised and beautiful. Mine, he thought fiercely, then vowed, I swear I’ll do my best to remain worthy of her.

“Good evening, Mrs. Marlowe,” he greeted when she reached his side. “You look stunning.”

“Good evening, Mr. Marlowe,” Pam replied playfully, turning her face up for his kiss. “And so do you.” She scanned the room. “This is some crowd. Shall we start schmoozing with the guests?”

Jared shook his head. “Let’s dance first,” he suggested. “I want you all to myself for a few minutes.” He turned to a beaming Katherine. “I’m taking her off your hands for a while, Kate.”

Kate’s pretty blue eyes sparkled. “She’s all yours. I’ll go grab some refreshments and socialize a bit.” She turned to Pam. “Don’t hesitate to give a shout if you need me,” she said while tucking an errant curl behind her friend’s ear. Then, with a quick wave, she melted into the crowd.

Jared led Pam onto the dance floor to the crowd’s delighted applause and roars of approval. A popular love song filled the room with its sultry beat, and the guests formed into couples. He gathered his bride close, and they swayed to the slow, sensual melody.

The past year and a half had been filled with joy and fraught with challenges. He’d spent every moment showing Pam his love in every way possible. He gave her his trust and shared his concerns all the time. Placing trust in her had been easy—she was steadfast and true—but he still hated burdening her with his troubles. However, he was improving on that matter. Slowly.

There’d been other concerns as well. Pam had been anxious about meeting his family, but from the outset, the Marlowes treated her much like a daughter or sister. Even his father, a decidedly difficult man to please, had taken to her.