Here at Last (11 page)

“Hey,
Sophia
,” he said,
a warm smile on his face
.
I knew it well.

“Hi,” I said.

He reached behind me.
“Here
– l
et me take your coat.” He
helped me remove it and
hung it in the front closet.

“Thank
you
,” I said, rubbing my arms.

“
Let’s go
into the kitchen,” he said as he walked through the living room. “I just
warmed up
some cider. It should take the chill off.”

“That sounds great
,
”
I told him,
blowing into my clasped hands
.

We
stepped
into the kitchen,
and it smelled wonderful
–
like cinnamon and cloves
. H
e ladled a mug for each of us and handed one to me.

“Thank
s
,
” I
said taking a
sip
.
“This is really good.” I looked around. “Where’s
Hannah
?”

He walked over to the stove and stirred a pot of soup. “My sister has her tonight. I thought it would give us a better chance to talk,” he said
over his shoulder.

I nodded.
I supposed he
was probably curious about my final
dream.
Since b
oth he and JT were in it
, I thought that the
timing of
them showing up in my life within a week of
one
another
was, well, highly coincidental.

“Can I help you with anything?”
I asked him.

“Sure.
Would you
mind setting
the table
?
”

I nodded, and h
e pointed to the drawers and cabinets where I could find plates, soup bowls, and utensils.

“
I
f you want to hand me the soup bowls, I can
fill them
over the stove
. It might be a little easier.”

I gave the soup bowls to him
and carried
each
to the table
when he was done filling them
. It was a
smoky cream of
tomato soup
that smelled delicious
. He checked the oven
where
the
veggie burgers and buns
were
heating. He had already sli
ced onion and tomato
and piled
them
high
on a plate
in the middle of the table.
“The burgers will be
ready in
a few more minutes. Let’s just start with the soup.”

“That sounds great,” I said,
sensing
that he was a little nervous.

We sat down, and I reached for a
slice
of bread
, which
lay
on a cutting board
on
the table
. When I broke it into pieces and put
it into my soup
,
Nicholas
smiled. “
Hannah
eats
her soup that way, too. She says the bread makes it taste better.”

I laughed. “Bread m
akes everything taste better.” After we
began eating, he seemed to relax. I glanced over at him. “This is the first chance you
’ve
had to sit down today
, isn’t it
?” I asked.

He stopped and looked over at me
before smiling and nodding
.
“Yeah
.”

“What
’s
your typical day like?”

He wiped his
mouth
with
his
napkin.
“I usually get up around five
,
shower
,
and get
dressed
. I make breakfast for us. While that’s cooking, I make
Hannah
’s lunch. I wake
Hannah
up and get her dressed.
W
e
eat
breakfast together.
Then,
I take her to kindergarten.
I go to work
and teach
, hit the gym at lunch, and teach and have meetings in the afternoons. Hannah
’s
enrolled in an afterschool program
,
and
I pick her up around 4:30 or 5:00 every day on my way home from work.”

“What do you
teach
?”

“
M
ath
.
I’m a professor
at the University of Illinois. Actually,” he said, reaching for piece of b
read, “I’d heard that Hastings-Magritte
was hiring a mathematician and had just
met
with the H
uman
R
esources
department the day I ran into you.”

This seemed highly unlikely, and
I stared at him. “That’s where I work.”

“When you said you worked in physics, I thought it might be.”
He got up and took the burgers out of the oven. “More soup?”

“No,”
I shook my head.
“
T
hank you. It was delicious.”

“Thanks. It’s one of Hannah’s favorites.”

“What
did HR say
about hiring you?”
I asked.

“They’d just filled the position
, but they would keep my resume on file
.”
He sounded disappointed.

“I’m sorry.
Do y
ou want
to leave teaching?”

“
Maybe.
I’m tenured, which is nice, but
I’d like to earn more
.
I
also
thought it might be a nice change. I’ve been teaching
at the
University
for
fourteen
years.”

Nicholas
took our soup bowls and placed them in the dishwasher.

“Can I help?”
I asked.

“Thanks,” h
e shook his head. “I’ve got it.” He put a large plate in the middle of the table with buns on one side and burgers on the other. We each built our own burgers and sat quietly while we began to eat. A tomato slice squirted some of its wet seeds on
to
my hand when
I took a bite, and I reached fo
r
a
napkin to wipe
them
off.

Nicholas
paused from his meal.
“
I’m sorry if I pressed you too much the other day
about why you look so familiar
.”

I looked over at him
, still wiping off my hand
.

“
You
don’t really
know me, and you
were sharing
some
pretty
personal
things
.”

I put my burger down. “
Nicholas
, I have no idea why you showed up in my
dreams
, b
ut I’m grateful that you did. I was in a relationship that I had no business being in. When I saw you, I realized that. I didn’t even know that anything was missing
before you
came along
.”

“
W
hat happened after that?” he asked.

“With
David
?”

He nodded.

I shrugged.
“
W
e broke up
, and he moved his things out of my house
.
That was
a year-and-a-half
ago.
Afterward,
I
wasn’t sure, but I
sensed that
my boss
JT
might be
interested in me.
Before I left California,
he said he would have liked to have asked me out if we hadn’t been working together
.
”
I shook my head
and closed
my eyes
, trying
to
decide
how to explain what had happened. When I opened them,
Nicholas
was looking at me
sympathetically
.

“
You don’t have to share this if you don’t
want
to,
”
he said one last time.

“
It’s
okay.
” I sighed. “
A colleague and I were supposed to exhibit in Las Vegas at a big science
tradeshow
. S
he got sick at the last minute
, and
JT ended up
meeting me there
. Everything
was
fine
with him, and n
othing happened
between us
,” I said to keep from confusing him later
.

“
On our
first
evening there,
” I continued,
“
w
e went to
a cocktail party
and
out to
dinner.
He
’d
always
been very private
, but
, after a few drinks,
he started to relax and open up
to me
. It was the first time he
’d
ever
really
discussed his personal life with me
.
By the end of the evening, something in him had shifted. W
e returned to the hotel
and rode
the elevator
to our floor.
When
we
got to
his room,
I had a really strong sense that
he wanted me to
go
inside
with him. He watched me as I walked down the hall and into my room.
Then,
I took a shower and went to bed.
When I went to sleep at night, I dreamed of you.”

Our burgers sa
t cold on the table
, and neither of us was eating
. “What
was the
dream
?”
he asked.

Somehow, it felt important that I share this story with him, but I didn’t know why. “
In m
y
dream
, I
walked back down the hall
to
JT’s room.
Then
, we
started
…
t
o
get
a little intimate.
When h
e
took
his
shirt
off
,
I told him
that he
was beautiful
.
At that point, it essentially ruined it for him. He said he couldn’t
be
with me. I
n my dream, I realized that
he wanted
sex
without
a
real
relationship
.”

Nicholas
’s brows furrowed, and I was
sure
that
he was wondering what he had to do with any of this.

I shook my head. “Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you any of this.”

“
Sophia,
I realize that this is
very
personal
for you
, but it might help me if I
can
understand what happened.”

“
Okay,” I continued. “
I
n my dream, I buttoned
up
my blouse, put my shoes back on, and left JT’s room. When I stepped into the hallway, you were walking by. You looked at me and realized what
had
just happened.
You put your hands on my arms and
told me
that I
didn’t
need the kind of relationship
that
I’d almost had with JT.
Then, y
ou asked me to come with you
,
and
we
walked
back to my room
.
Y
ou told me that
you kn
e
w me better than I could ever imagine. You said that I wouldn’t be truly happy unless I was in a relationship where I was in love and felt loved.
Then,
you
kissed me
,
and we…
.
”