Here at Last (37 page)

Feeling
flush, I nodded. He took my hand, and w
e walked silently into the house
,
closing
the
double doors behind us and making
our way to the bedroom. The sun was getting lower in the sky, and Nicholas walked over to the windows and
closed
the blinds to darken the room
fully
.

H
e
walked back
to me
, and I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close.

“I’m glad we’re here,” he whispered.

“Me, too.”

Very tenderly
,
Nicholas
undress
ed
me
before taking off his own clothes
.
He led me to the bed where
w
e made love
. Somehow
, it
felt different than it had before.
Freer and more relaxed.

We lay on our sides looking into one another’s eyes. A
s his breathing slowed, he kissed my face
and whispered,
“I love you so much
.”

I
smiled and
kissed his neck. "
I love you
,
too, Nicholas. Thank you for bringing me here.
"

Holding me close, he reached up to stroke my hair. “We’ve needed this time together – just the two of us.”

“You’re right.
There are too many distractions at home.”

He kissed my forehead, thinking.

“What is it?” I asked.

Nicholas shook his head. “That’s something we need to change.”

I looked at him quizzically.

“We
can
talk about it
later
,” he finally said.

Chapter
3
2

Nicholas
had made reservations for us at Bonito, a fabulous restaurant
located in Gustavia
with
views over
looking
the harbor
below
.
From
our own private seating area, we watched the sunset as we enjoyed cocktails.
Although the menu didn't
provide
any vegan options, Nicholas had already called ahead to ensure that the
chef could accommodate our dietary needs.

After dinner, we walked outside and strolled around the neighborhood for
a
little while. There was a light breeze blowing, and Nicholas
and I
had
our arms around one another
as w
e walked along the sidewalk.

He said,
“When you look back over the past two years, it’s hard to believe what’s happened in our lives. For most couples, things are easier at the beginning, and they run into big challenges later on. For us, it's been the other way around. We've gotten to know each other under really difficult circumstances. The fact that we're even here tonight says a lot about us."

“You’re right
,” I agreed
.
“
It hasn’t been easy
.”

“I
’ve
wanted
so badly
for us to have some time
together
like this.” He stopped and turned to look at me, taking both of my hands in his. “I love you
very
much, and I feel like I’ve hardly had a chance to show you that.”

I couldn't imagine why he would say this.
He
’d
already done so much for me
that I had to disagree
.
“Nicholas, you’ve shown me
love in so many
ways.”

He shook his head
,
and we began walking
, again,
our
hand
s
intertwined
. “
I was so wrapped up in my own grief when
we me
t that I could hardly acknowledge you. When we ran into each other at the bereavement group, I should
ha
ve
been
better
about
staying in touch with you
."

“
T
hat was my responsibility. You
offered to help me if I needed anything
, but
I didn’t take you up on it.
”

"
Y
ou went through all of that alone," he said.

"Not
all of it
. You showed up on JT's birthday
.”

He glanced at me knowingly. “I know how happy you were to see me then.”

“Well….” I laughed before becoming more serious.
“You
helped me get through Christmas and New Year
’
s
.
You’ve always had this uncanny sense of when I needed you.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, he said, “I can do more.”

I shook my head
.

Nicholas
stopped
walking and turned to face me,
put
ting
h
is hands on my arms. I
t reminded me of my third dream.
“
Sophia,
I can be the man you need
me
to be
.
”

Looking
at him
curiously
, I said gently,
“
You're already the man that I need
you
to be
.”

He shook his head. "No, Sophia. What you’ve seen is the shadow of
a
man.
Since we met, I feel like you’ve brought me back to life again. It’s different than it was before – I don’t know how to explain it.
As much as I loved Rachel and need to honor her memory for Hannah, she wasn't you.
F
rom this point forward,
you’ll have
all of me."

I struggled to understand what he was saying but accepted
the fact
that he felt the need to be more, to step up in a different way.
We
wrapped
our arms around one another
and stood there for a long time
before catching a cab and heading home.





It was dark when we
returned to the house
, and Nicholas
turned on
the
living room
light. I went to wash up and brush my teeth, and he followed suit when I was done in the bathroom.

By then, i
t was late evening
.
We’d had
a long day of travel
and
were both tired.
I climbed into bed and lay on my side, looking out the window and
watching
the tips of palm fronds sway in the breeze. Nicholas
walked into the bedroom
a few minutes later and found me lying in the darkened bedroom. He climbed in behind me
and put one arm around my waist.
We lay in the quiet for a long time.

“Sophia
?
" he
asked
, his voice tender
.

I rolled over to face him.

“What is it that you want the most?" he asked.

Smiling, I said,
“Love and happiness
."

He reached up and moved some hair away from my face, outlining my j
aw
with
the back of his finger.
“I’ll do everything I can to give that to you," he said seriously.

The image of Nicholas from my first two dreams came to mind.

"What is it?" he asked.

“I just remembered the first time I saw you. You
looked
so happy."

He leaned forward and kissed my lips. "I'm happy now," he said.

“I'm glad. I love to see you smile.
It's the first thing I
noticed in my dreams
. Y
our beautiful smile
and the way you make me feel
.
”

"Do you know the first thing I noticed about you – other than the fact you looked familiar?”

I shook my head.

“Your beauty. Everything about you is perfect. From your long dark hair to your
green
eyes, your nose that ends in a perfect point,” he said, tracing my nose, “and your
long full
lips." Ever so gently, he kissed my lower lip and my upper lip before sliding his tongue delicately into my mouth
,
ending in another soft kiss on the lips.
It was intoxicating.
He reached up to stroke my hair with one hand. "That's what I noticed about you first – just how beautiful you are.”

"That's sweet of you, but I'm not perfect. Nowhere near it."

“
You’re perfect for me,
"
he said.

He leaned forward to kiss me
and pulled my nightgown up around my hips. All he'd worn to bed was a towel, which was long gone. Sliding his fingers into me,
he kissed my neck and my breasts until my breath quickened, and he knew it was time
and
pushed himself into me
.
Interlacing his fingers with mine, he held my hands as he hovered over my body
,
moving
rapidly
.
His head had been turned to the side with his eyes closed. When he felt me watching him, he turned to look at me, and our eyes caught and held one another.
I felt myself rhythmically tightening around
him
at a quickening pace
until neither of us could wait any longer.
I was in such ecstasy that the only sound I could make was a series of small whimpers.
I
finally
broke
eye contact as
my
head tipped back. When
I looked at him, again,
he
was l
y
ing
down beside me and took me into his arms.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I know,” I said softly, and he smiled.

I lay in the darkness for a little while thinking of how perfect we seemed to be for one another.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Is it natural for things to be so perfect between two people?”

He smiled. “I think it is when they’re soul mates.”

I hadn’t heard that term in a long time.
“Do you think everyone has a soul mate?”

“Yes. Maybe more than one.” I looked over at him, and he shrugged. “I don’t know. Whatever it is, it seems that we’re destined to be together.”

“Yes,” I said
looking at him and uncertain of how any of it worked.
“It does.”

Chapter
3
3

When we awakened the next morning, Nicholas got
up
and opened the blinds. The sun streamed across the bed
,
and we agreed to go out and see the island. He took a quick shower and got dressed, and I did the same.

W
e
made our way into town and
joined a tour of the island
where we learned about its history. Apparently,
the Ciboney people had tried to settle
St. Barts
around 1
,
000 BC but had left because there wasn't enough water for agriculture
or
drinking. Eleven hundred years later, the Arawak Indians
moved in
,
but
the Caribs forced them out around 800 AD. In 1623, the Europeans began to colonize the area
. Providing financial support,
Cardinal Richelieu
hoped for
French
control over
St. Barts
and other islands in the Caribbean.
Although
French farmers from Brittany and Normandie moved to
St. Barts
,
they found that the island was too dry for good
farm
ing
.

The Knights of Malta purchased the island in 1651, five years before the Carib rebellion that killed some of the European settlers.
The British took the island in 1758 only to give it to Sweden in 1784
. The Swedes
established Gustavia as a free port that could be used in the trade of European goods.
In 1946,
the residents of
St. Barts
became full French citizens
.
Regardless of the island’s relative poverty,
France
didn’t
provide economic support
t
o the island’s residents.
The
advent of tourism in the 1960s
brought a change for St. Barts, which became
known as an exclusive tourist destination
.