Here for You (13 page)

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I’ve been at work.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

Damn Johnny and Quinn. “You don’t need to rescue me every time I have a little issue. I’ll be fine.”

“Ash, some guy sitting on your steps waiting for you to get home is not a
little
issue.”

“He’s harmless. He just wants to talk, but I don’t have the energy.”

He sighs loudly. “I can see we’re not going to get anywhere on this argument. Stay where you are. I’ll be there in twenty. You’re staying at my place while I’m gone. I can’t worry about you all week. I need you to be able to pack in less than thirty minutes because Johnny and I have to get to the plane. Can you do that?”

“Whoa! What are you talking about? I can’t pack for the week. I’m traveling Monday through Thursday, so I need time.”

“Do you honestly expect me to believe you don’t know exactly what you’re going to pack? Quinn can help you.”

“Wait! Why is Quinn going to be there? I just talked to her, and she asked me to give her an hour with Johnny. Don’t interrupt their time together.”

“Yeah, that was before she knew you had a stalker sitting on your steps. I’m hanging up now, and I’ll be at your house in less than twenty. Do
not
go to the house until I get there or Johnny arrives with Quinn.”

“Hey, you can’t—” I stop talking because he’s already hung up his phone and I’m talking to a dead line.
Damn it!
I appreciate him wanting to protect me, but now two other people are impacted by his need to take over. Quinn is going to be pissed. I throw my car into drive and turn the music up loud. I need to burn off some energy before Cam gets here or we are not going to be speaking after today.

Twenty minutes later I pull up to my house again, and I see Quinn’s car parked. She and Johnny are getting out as I park behind them. I jump out and try to contain my temper.

“I’m sorry, guys. You really didn’t have to come over. Cam is being a little overprotective on this one.”

“No, he’s not. This situation needs to be resolved.”

Ugh.
Quinn is on Cam’s side and I don’t even need to guess which side Johnny’s on. He looks like he wants to rip Charlie apart limb by limb. Which, if I’m being honest, could be slightly entertaining.

“Am I allowed to go up there before Cam gets here?”

Johnny looks at me and then nods. Geez. If I didn’t know him, I would be scared right now. He’s almost as tall as Cam, and his dark hair and eyes give him a very menacing appearance. If Charlie is not scared off by that, I don’t know what would scare him.

I open my gate and they both follow me in. Charlie sees me coming and he jumps up from where he’s sitting. “Ashley, we need to talk.”

“No, we don’t.”

“Ashley, come on. You at least owe me the chance to explain.”

“I don’t owe you shit! You were having sex with my sister in my bed. What do you possibly need to explain about that?”

“Ashley.” He makes a move toward me, and I feel Johnny move so he is standing right behind me. Charlie’s eyes go wide, and if I wasn’t so annoyed with the situation I would start laughing. His face is priceless. Knowing what a wimp he is, he may actually wet himself if Johnny threatens him.

“You girls go in and pack. Charlie and I will have that conversation for you, Ashley.”

I could almost turn and kiss Johnny. He said it with a casual tone, but I know Charlie is still shaking.

“Thanks, Johnny. Let me know what he has to say.”

I hear another car door close, and I can’t decide if I should wait for Cam or head in to the house and let the boys have a conversation. I turn my head enough to see him out of the corner of my eye and the look on his face makes me opt for choice number one. He looks like he wants to kill someone, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for this side of him.

I quickly move up the steps to the door and unlock it with Quinn following close behind. I know she also doesn’t want to get caught up in the testosterone fest that is about to go down. I really don’t even care what they say to Charlie, so I don’t need to stick around for that.

“Let’s go at least pretend like I’m packing for the week. No matter how pissed he is, he can’t keep me from my house.”

“I know, but I think he’s right on this one. Let’s try to get you packed for the week if we can. If not, we can always go shopping and get you something new.”

She gives me a large grin, and I know nothing would make her happier. She loves to shop, but I just can’t bring myself to get as excited as her. She follows me up the stairs to my room.

“Are you heading to Boston?” I think twenty-four hours is the longest I've ever gone without talking to Quinn unless she’s on vacation, and I feel like I don’t know what’s going on with her right now.

She runs up two steps to be even with me. “Yeah, I’m going to fly out tomorrow after work. I have meetings that can’t be rescheduled but I’m going to stay through Thursday morning. I figure this is one month of my life that I don’t care if I do the right thing.” She goes quiet for a bit. “I mean assuming it lasts that long.”

I hook my arm in hers. “Hey, you guys seem very happy. Don’t worry about the future. Just enjoy the time you’re spending together.”

“Yeah. It’s just I’ve never been afraid of the guy leaving me. I don’t allow myself to get attached, and it scares me this time. I don’t want to know what it feels like to get hurt.”

I smile at my friend. I really don’t think she’s ever had her heart broken. While I think it’s great she hasn’t had to feel that pain, I think it’s more important that she experience the love and emotions that will lead her to the place where her heart could get broken. I hope she never has to experience heartbreak, but sooner or later, I think she’ll have to risk it if she’s going to find real happiness.

Maybe we both will.

“Q, you need to take the risk. You need to know what it feels like to love freely and with your whole heart. Even I need to do that. Yeah, Charlie broke my heart but not enough for serious damage. I never felt the way about him that would lead to permanent damage. But I want to feel like that about someone, and I want that for you too.”

She waves her hand to end the conversation for now. I can tell she’s nervous and she really likes this guy, so I don’t want to scare her.

She knows exactly where to go to find my luggage, and she brings back the bags I need while I’m grabbing stuff for the week. I lay my suits on the bed and she packs everything as I give it to her. I grab a few pairs of shoes and then go for some casual clothes. I head into my master bathroom and grab all of the cosmetics and toiletries I need.

I throw it all on the bed and then make one more round through my closet and bathroom, grabbing a few more items. Quinn has put everything in my suitcase as I set it down. I have to say, it’s pretty efficient to pack with two people.

I sense his presence, and when I look up Cam is leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. He has on gray dress pants and a light blue button down with the sleeves rolled to his elbows. He’s not wearing a baseball hat and his caramel hair is styled in a messy look, making me want to run my fingers through it. He looks gorgeous. Maybe a little feisty right now but still gorgeous. My heart rate picks up, and I manage a small smile.

“Hey,” I say.

He nods his head toward Quinn first. “Thanks for calling, Quinn.”

She looks down, knowing that I still haven’t addressed this with her and because Cam looks like he’s ready to explode. I’m not frightened of him, but I can tell he’s angry and I know we need to talk.

“I’ll be downstairs waiting. Do you need me to do anything else?”

“No. What you’ve done is perfect.”

She walks out and pats Cam on the arm before she disappears down the hallway.

Cam doesn’t say anything but stalks toward me with a mixture of passion and fury in his eyes.

“Has this been happening since the weekend I met you?”

I swallow the lump in my throat. There’s no sense lying to him because I know he can read me plus I really don’t want to lie to him. “Yes,” I whisper. Afraid to meet his eyes, I study the buttons on his shirt as a distraction.

I feel his finger slide under my chin to tilt my head up. When I meet his gaze, I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m going to fall apart. I don’t want to have to deal with Charlie. I don’t want Cam to have to worry about me. And most of all, I want Cam to be able to give me what I need. I know he’s smart enough to know there’s more going through my head than just Charlie showing up at my house.

“Hey, we’re going to figure this out together, okay?”

With the slightest movement, I nod my head forward enough that he knows I’m acknowledging his words. I snake my arms around his neck, and he lifts me up into a hug.

“I don’t want to have to worry about you while I’m gone. I'm not mad at you, but it pisses me off that this guy is bothering you. I want you to tell me when these things are happening. I'm here to protect you now. Okay?”

I nod against his neck because I still don’t trust my voice. I feel it quivering inside me and all I need to do is hold myself together for another ten minutes.

“Quinn is going to stay with you at my place tonight, and I will be home Thursday night. Please tell me Charlie isn’t traveling with you.”

I pull my face away from his neck enough that he can hear me. “No.”

“Good. Then we don’t have to worry about anything until next week.”

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just promise me you will talk to me about it."

I nod, and he squeezes me again before setting me back on my feet. “Is your stuff ready to go?”

“Almost.” I throw the last few items into the suitcase and zip it up. I close up the other bag I’ve filled with miscellaneous stuff and he lifts both off the bed. “My workbag is in my car, so I think that’s all I need.”

“Good.” He carries my stuff out of my room and down the stairs to the foyer where Johnny and Quinn are waiting. Cam gives me every code, phone number and name I could possibly need. He hands me a set of keys and explains what each one is for. “You can park in my spot. Where I parked the other night, remember?” I nod and then he turns to Quinn. “I moved my other car before I came over so you can park next to her in the garage.”

The mood feels too somber for the guys going off to their games, and I try to lighten the atmosphere. “I’m sorry to have taken Quinn away from you, Johnny. I know she wanted to give you a proper goodbye.”

He laughs. “Don’t worry. I’ll see her tomorrow, and that just means I get double the attention for missing today.”

Quinn rolls her eyes at him. “What about me? Don’t you think I should get extra attention?”

“I don’t know, babe. I’m the one who’s going to be sore after the game. We catchers get pounded on out there, so I think I need extra focus on my sore areas.”

“Uh huh,” she says skeptically.

“No, it’s true,” Cam says. “Perez has it especially rough when I’m not pitching.” He winks at Quinn, and she just rolls her eyes at him too.

“Let’s go before you guys are late.”

Johnny and Quinn walk out, and I look up at Cam. He smiles as he grabs my stuff. I set the alarm and lock up on my way out. Cam puts the bags in my trunk and comes around to the driver’s side by me.

When he wraps me in his arms, his lips immediately find mine. The length of his body is pressed against me and I can’t help the moan that escapes when he pushes me into the side of my car. “Mmm. I’m going to miss you.”

“You better,” he murmurs.

He reaches up to tuck my hair behind my ear and then leans forward to give me another kiss before he turns to head to his car. When he’s halfway to his car, I yell to him, “See you Tuesday night in your hotel room.”

His head whips back around and even from this distance I can see his eyes light up. “Really?”

“I probably won’t be in until eleven in the evening, but I’ll be there for sleeping.”

He mouths
thank you
and winks before he turns back around to make the rest of the way to his car.

“Call me when you’re coming over, Quinn.”

“Will do. See you a little later.”

I climb in to my car and head to Cam’s condo. At least I know where I’m going to sit while I do my work this evening, which is my only consolation for everything that has happened in the last hour.

Quinn doesn’t come over until close to nine. She takes her time packing, which I don’t blame her for. I would have liked to do the same, but most of my trip is business anyhow so it’s easier to pack. After she puts her stuff in the guest room, she meets me out in the solarium where I have been since I got here. I pour a glass of wine for her and we both sit quietly for a long time.

“Are you scared, Ash?”

“I’m terrified.” My voice hitches on the last syllable and there’s no way I can stop the tears now. A sob escapes me and I try to slow my breathing as the emotion breaks.

I feel Quinn sit next to me on the couch and she wraps both arms around me. “You have to take your own advice. What you told me. You have to give all of yourself to him. Give him a chance to love you. Don’t hold back because you’ll never know if you could have done more to get him.”

“I know. I’m just so scared that what I will feel with him I can never have again. If I allow myself to fully love him and I lose him, I don’t know how I’ll survive it. I’ve only known him a month, and he’s already in my heart. He warned me that he doesn’t know if he can give me what I need.”

“I know, Ash. I know. But can you give up without trying?” I shake my head no. She leans back into the cushions and removes one arm to pick her wine glass up. “Aren’t we a pair right now?”

We both laugh, and like so many other days in my life, I’m thankful that at least I always have Quinn. She’s been my rock through the worst of it, and if I hit the bottom again, she’ll be there to pick me up. I just hope she doesn’t have to pick me up this time.