Here With Me (23 page)

Chapter Thirty-One

   “So, I’ve just gotta ask,” Cole began once they were settled on the couch.  She was ready for bed in a pair of cotton pajama pants and fitted long sleeved shirt.  Cole looked comfortable in his gym shorts and t-shirt as well.  The TV was set to the Red Sox game, but neither one of them was paying much attention to it.  She was curled up next to him, his arm around her as they stared at the screen. “What was with that kiss at the restaurant?”

She pushed herself and turned her body so she was facing him.

“Did I catch you off guard?”

“That would be an understatement.  The Mallory I’ve always known was adamantly opposed to any form of public displays of affection, especially anything to do with the mouth.  You had your tongue half-way down my throat.”

“Did that bother you?” she asked with a flirty grin, the wine still working its therapeutic magic.

“Absolutely not,” he said, resting his arm on her waist
.

“Well,” she said, slowly moving herself so she was straddling him.  He leaned back on the couch and rested both hands on her hips now. 
His breath quickened and his hips moved slightly beneath her.  “I had to mark my territory.” Smiling, she leaned down, kissing him once, tugging playfully on his lower lip.

“Your territory?
  Is that what I am to you?” he grinned and she nodded, kissing him again.   She didn’t know what was coming over her.  She’d been reluctant all summer, even after they’d agreed to give their relationship another try.  But now, it was different.  Cole had been there every day since the beginning of summer, and after tonight, he wouldn’t be and she wasn’t ready to not have him there.  She didn’t want to be alone. 

“I had to make Veronica think so,” she said, kissing him again.

“So you were jealous of Veronica?” His mouth turned up into a slow grin and he looked satisfied.

“Maybe a little,” she admitted as his thumbs began making slow circles on her hips. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.  You know that.”

“Did you and Veronica ever go out?”

He reached up and brushed her hair out of her eyes, gently tucking it behind her ear.

“A few times,” he said and she felt her body still.  She wasn’t sure she expected his honesty.  She’d hoped the answer was no, but that would’ve been naïve.  If he’d gone on and on about her to his friends, part of her hoped that meant he’d never been with anyone…that he’d never wanted anyone else. “Does that bother you?”

“No,” she said quickly, but then shook her head. “Well, yeah…a little.  She’s so pretty and smart.”

“And so are you. 
Prettier and smarter.  Veronica only got into Harvard Law because her grandfather made an enormous endowment to the university.  In fact, I think she may have only passed her first year because of some favors she did for a couple of the professors, if you know what I mean,” he said with a laugh and a wink.  Mallory hit him playfully.

“And that’s the kind of girl you wanted?” she smirked at him.

“I never wanted her.  She was a distraction,” he said softly as his hands stroked up and down her back. “I only wanted to forget you.”

“Did it work?” she asked with a playful grin.

“What do you think?”

“I think I’m pretty damn unforgettable.”

“Most definitely,” he said, his hand reaching behind her neck and pulling her forcefully to him.  His mouth smashed against hers, biting and tugging so hard, it hurt at times, but she didn’t want him to stop.  It felt good.  She felt alive. “I could never forget you, Mallory,” he groaned between kisses. “I tried.  Damn, I tried.  But it was always you.  You were always there and I never thought you’d come back to me.”

“I’m here now.” Her words were fast and breathless.

“And I’m not letting you go,” he said, lifting her off of him and standing up.  Scooping her up, her carried her into his room.

“What are you doing?” she giggled as he placed her on the soft, king sized bed.

“I’m just trying to enjoy our last night together.”

“This isn’t our last night, Cole.”

“Well, it’ll feel like it since I don’t know when we’ll be together again.”

He hovered over her for a moment, staring at her as if seeing her for the first time.  His face turned serious and his fingers stroked her cheek. 

“I love you, Mallory,” he said gently and paused for a moment.  She worried he was waiting for her to reciprocate, but instead, she grabbed his shirt again, like at the restaurant, and pulled him on top of her.  If Cole was waiting for an “I love you” in return, it seemed to slip his mind as she kissed him till both of their chests were heaving. 

“If it’s to be our last night, let’s make
the best of it,” Mallory groaned.

“Are you sure?”

Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was a way to numb the loneliness, maybe she really wanted him, but as her hands began exploring his body, she nodded.  It was all the cue he needed. 

Chapter Thirty-Two

The summer tourists had mostly left and Kennebunkport was slowing down.  The streets weren’t overloaded with people and many of the shops had closed for the season.  The heat and humidity was finally releasing its hold and the crisp October air was a welcome relief. 

Cole had been back at Harvard nearly two months.  They talked every day and Skyped almost nightly.  He’d come home a few times, but she’d yet to go back to Boston and they hadn’t been together again, not since that night.

Kenna was still in New York.  The gallery job was working out and Mallory thought her friend had finally found her niche.  Kenna loved city life and was always sending pictures of the fun she was having. 
Mallory would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little bit envious.  Kenna was living it up in Manhattan and Cole was busy at Harvard while she remained in Kennebunkport.  She tried not to let it get her down though because her mom was growing stronger every day and she was nearly back to her pre-stroke self.  She’d even gone back to work two days a week.  It was only for a few hours each day, but Mallory could tell how much the independence meant to her mother, especially because they both knew there may come a time she couldn’t do it at all. 

Overall, life was almost normal again, and she’d done her best to keep thoughts of the summer out of her mind.  She didn’t like reliving the tender moments with Ryan because she still missed him.  She wondered where he had ended up.  He could be anywhere and each time she passed the Bush estate, she wondered if he still thought of her as well. 

****

She had just finished a twelve hour shift in the emergency room.  There hadn’t been much action, but she was anxious to get home and off her feet.  When she walked into the house, it seemed so lonely.  Her mother wasn’t home and it was too quiet.  She changed out o
f her scrubs and into her most comfortable jeans and a University of Maine hoodie. 

Once downstairs,
she grabbed a glass of water and then began looking through the pile of mail on the table her mother must’ve brought in before leaving.  She thumbed through it carelessly: credit card application, water bill, a flier for a church bizarre.  She almost put it down without looking through it all, until an envelope caught her eye.  It was an ordinary white envelope, but it was the return address that grabbed her attention.  In bold, black letters, she saw the words
Doctors Without Borders
. 

Tearing it open, she
unfolded the white piece of paper, her eyes scanning quickly over the black type.  She was just getting bits and pieces at first, until she forced her eyes to focus on the beginning paragraph and as she read, her heart started pounding when she realized what it was.  Dropping the envelope, she ran to the desk drawer where she had kept her Doctors Without Border application for the past year and a half.  She dug through the papers, but it was gone.  She shook her head, racking her brain as to what could’ve happened to it.  She’d never done more than sign her name and address, let alone fill out the entire application.  Yet somehow it had been completed and mailed in.  Someone had done it for her and she’d been accepted.  Her heart nearly stopped when she realized it could’ve only been one person: Ryan.

Sitting down, she tried wrapping her mind
around what he had done.  Ryan had always been supportive.  He’d encouraged her actually.  He’d said it to her on more than one occasion, and as she sat in the chair, numb to the realization of what he’d done, the last words he’d said to her echoed in her mind:
Just be happy, okay?  Whatever you do, make sure it’s for you and no one else.  Whatever you want to do in life, do it.
  

She stood up
from the chair and went back to the kitchen.  Grabbing the welcome pamphlet that had been included with the letter, she began looking through it.  It looked exciting and she took in a deep breath, realizing she had the opportunity to fulfill one of her life’s ambitions.  She had this chance, not because of herself, but because of Ryan.  She’d always made up every excuse why she couldn’t do it, while he’d taken it upon himself to make her recognize she could. 

She didn’t realize she was crying until a tear splashed onto the pamphlet. 
Wiping her eyes, she set the paper down.  She had to call him.  She had to talk to him about this. 

Nervously, she stood up and found her phone.  She sat in the chair and stared at it for a while. 
They hadn’t spoken in almost three months.  What would she say to him?  Would he even talk to her? 

With shaking hands, she flipped the phone open and found his name in her list of contacts.  She’d thought about deleting it, but could never bring herself to do it.  She waited a few more minutes and when she finally had the courage, she highlighted his name and before she could stop herself, she hit the send button.

Her heart was pounding so hard she could barely hear the ringing on the other end of the line.  After the third ring, a woman’s voice Mallory knew was a recording, began speaking.
The number you have dialed is no longer in service.
  Her heart sank as she pulled the phone slowly away from her ear, staring down at it for a moment before hanging up. 

He’d changed his number. 
There was no way of getting in touch with him now.  Although they hadn’t spoken for months and she had no idea where he even was, she was always comforted knowing she could find him, if she wanted to.

Her mind began to race.  How could she find him?  He wasn’t your average citizen.  She knew he d
idn’t have a Facebook account or anything like that.  He didn’t have a permanent home.  He barely even had any family she could locate and ask.  There was only one choice.

She grabbed her keys and headed towards Ocean Avenue.

****

She stopped the car as she came to the right turn and stared at the sign:
No trespassing. Not a public road.  Violators will be prosecuted.
  She knew she was being stupid, but it was the only way she could think to find Ryan. Taking a deep breath, she pushed on the accelerator and turned down the road. 

Driving slowly,
her mind kept telling her to turn around.  She didn’t listen though and as she approached the guard shack, a serious looking man stepped out and stared at her.  His eyes were narrow slits as he glared at her and his mouth formed into a warning line.  She’d gotten to know a few of the other agents during the time she spent with Ryan, but she didn’t recognize this man and her nerves went wild. 

He began walking towards her and she stopped the car.

“Are you aware this is private property?” he said the second she’d rolled down the window.  His voice was deep and gruff and she instantly regretted her decision to come.

“Yes, sir, but…” she began in the strongest voice she could muster.

“Then what makes you think you can come down this road?”

“I’m sorry, but…I’m…I’m looking for Ryan Scott.  He was an agent here over the summer.”

“Miss, you’re going to have to turn around,” he said, ignoring her statement.

“Yes, I know, but if you could just tell me if you know where Ryan Scott is.”

“Like I said, you’re going to have to leave, unless you’d like to be escorted by the police.”

Tears of frustration formed
in her eyes.  He was being so rude and all she wanted was a simple answer from him.  Either he knew where Ryan was or he didn’t.  She wasn’t asking any questions to jeopardize national security. 

“I’m not a criminal,” she retorted. “I would just like to know if you know where Ryan Scott is.”

The man didn’t say anything, but he reached for his mouth piece and began saying something she couldn’t hear.  A figure stepped out of the guard shack and Mallory felt her spirits lift as Nate came out.  He walked quickly to the car, looking at it curiously before his eyes flickered in recognition.  Nate spoke with the man, who walked away a moment later and then Nate leaned into the window.

“Hi Mallory,” he said in a voice that wasn’t as jovial as she recalled.

“Hi Nate.”

“You shouldn’t be here.  Your clearance expired months ago.”

“I know and I’m sorry.  I just need your help.  I tried calling Ryan today and his phone number’s been changed.  I need to speak with him.  Do you know where he is?”

“I can’t give out his assignment.”

“Nate, please.  Do you happen to have his new phone number?”

“I’m sorry, Mallory, I don’t.”

“Please, Nate,” she pleaded with him, but he shook his head and looked her in the eyes.

“I don’t have it. 
Even if I did, I’m not sure I’d give it to you,” he said bluntly and she felt her eyes bugging out of her head.  Nate had always been so nice.  He was definitely not being the southern gentleman she’d first met and she couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. “You really messed him up.  Just leave him alone.”

A
lump formed in her throat and she swallowed hard, trying to make it disappear.

“Thanks for your time.  Sorry to have bothered you,” she said through the rock in her throat.  Before he could say anything else, she put the car in reverse and headed home.

****

Back home, she sat with the welcome packet on one side of her at the table and her laptop on the other.  She thought for sure she could get Ryan’s number from Nate, but
since she hadn’t, she didn’t know what to do.  Nate’s words had stung her.  Ryan had always been so strong, but the way Nate made it sound, she’d destroyed him. 

Her only other way to contact Ryan was to find his father or brother and that was going to be like finding a needle in a haystack.  All she
knew was their names and that he grew up somewhere near Phoenix.  There must be a million Scotts in the Phoenix area.

She stared at the computer, wondering if she should even bother.  She didn’t even know what she’d say to Ryan if she found him.  But she wanted to talk to him.  She wanted to ask him why he’d sent in her application and part of her wanted to thank him for doing so. 

She opened up the internet and Googled maps of Arizona.  Geography had never been her best subject and she knew nothing about Arizona.  When a map popped up, she focused on the star in the center of the state: Phoenix.  Black dots surrounded it: Chandler, Mesa, Gilbert, Tempe, Scottsdale.  It could be any of those towns or none of them. 

Opening
another window, she decided to Google Ryan’s dad’s and brother’s names.  Maybe that would narrow her search.  She decided to try his father first.  Her hands shook as she began typing Everett Scott and the word Arizona in the search engine.  Scott might be a common name, but Everett certainly wasn’t.  She hoped this was a good sign and she took a deep breath before hitting search. 

Her eyes focused on the first result, which read:
Free People Search/White Pages
.  Underneath was a link and she felt her heartbeat quicken.  The link read
www.whitepages.com/people/Everett-Scott/ApacheJunction
.
  Mallory quickly switched to the other open window and searched the map of Arizona.  Sure enough, Apache Junction was a town slightly east of Phoenix. 

She switched back to the other window and clicked on the link.  A flutter of excitement washed over her as Everett Scott appeared in bold letters.  It listed an address and phone number and underneath, there was a list of associated people.  Two people were listed there and those people were Philip Scott and Ryan Scott. 

“Yes!” Mallory called out loud, feeling like Sherlock Holmes.  She never knew finding a total stranger could be so easy.  That was the beauty of living in the digital age.  Nothing was anonymous anymore. 

Her heartbeat began to return to normal and butterflies hatched in her stomach.  She had Ryan’s father’s phone number, now she just needed the guts to call.

She stood up and got herself another glass of water.  Gulping it down, she reached for her phone.  The worst Mr. Scott could say was no, he wouldn’t give her Ryan’s number, so she didn’t know why she was so nervous.  Taking a deep breath she began typing in the number and took another breath before hitting send. 

When she placed the phone to her ear, it seemed like it took forever to ring.  Once it did
though, she almost pulled it away and hung up, but before she could, a deep voice was on the other end of the line.

“Hello?” the man said, but Mallory was silent.  Her voice had vanished. “Hello?  Is anybody there?”

“Um, yes,” she finally managed to get out. “Hi.  Is this Mr. Everett Scott?”

“Yes.  Who’s this?” he asked and the line went silent as Mallory couldn’t find her words again. “Who is this?”

“Mr. Scott,” she eventually began. “You don’t know me, but my name is Mallory Leyton.  I’m a friend of your son, Ryan.”

“Mallory Leyton?” Mr. Scott asked and Mallory wondered if Ryan had ever mentioned her to his father.

“Yes, sir.  Um, I got to know Ryan while he was working this past summer in Kennebunkport, Maine.”