Here With Me (Paloma's Edge) (14 page)

Chapter 18

Mariska

HUNTER SLAMMED THE DOOR shut after we stepped into my dorm room. I hastily took off my backpack and he shook his off. As we frantically kissed each other, I unbuttoned his jeans and he unzipped the back of my floral dress. Swallowing hard, I pulled down his boxers and felt his warm solid cock press against my stomach. It was pitch dark in the room, but I thought we both preferred it to be. There was something forbidden about being so intimate with him, and, yet, not seeing every inch of his cut stomach, and the emotion in his eyes. Grasping him in one hand, I stroked him thoroughly.

“Want me to go faster?” I asked.

“You got it just right. Don’t rush it.”

I took my time working him, only changing the pressure I applied every few seconds. Feeling him get more erect in my hand sent a flood of moisture between my thighs. I moved my hand underneath his shirt again and lifted his shirt above his head. I didn’t get the chance to really look at his chest when he brought his hand down to my crotch and rubbed circles so gently over my clitoris. The only thing I could see clearly, as I increased my speed on him and rubbed my fingers over his rigid nipples, were his eyes locked on mine.

“Hunter,” I said, stopping my ministrations. As his gaze dropped to my hand on him, he let out a low tortured groan and I wanted him more. “Can I taste you tonight?” I asked him and he gave me an eager nod of his head, which brought a smile to my face.  Unable to wait any longer, I sank down on my knees and trailed damp kisses on his navel. It must have felt like an eternity to him, because when I kissed his shaft, I felt his hand on the back of my head. He didn’t push my forward, but when I stroked his sack, he jerked his hips forward.  He smelled like I’d imagined a healthy, virile man would. A little musty and very clean. Easing him into my mouth, I wrapped my hands around his shaft and began to stroke him again.   

“Uhhh. Mariska.”

I pulled him out of my mouth and motioned my head to the bed. He went to my bed, resting his long, muscular body on top of it. I took him in deeper, and, when I needed air to breath, I worked my hands along his length and suckled his balls in my mouth when I felt him constrict. I’d heard enough about this in high school to know that he was about explode. And I wanted him to do it in my mouth, like I’d exploded on his last night. I didn’t think this could be enjoyable, but feeling him on the brink of unraveling in my mouth was so sexy to me. Not a chore, like other girls had described it to be. I tried to take him to the back of my throat, but I couldn’t without gagging, so I pressed my mouth around his crown tightly and returned to stroking him.

“I’m about to bust,” he gasped.

Hot semen spurted down my throat and he eyed me with a sleepy grin. “Damn, Mariska. That felt better than a fucking trip to Disneyland.” He pulled me down on top of him and I felt a blush rise over my cheeks.

“I’d have to say that your work downstairs doesn’t compare to a trip to Disneyland.”

I turned to my side to see Hunter’s face.

He slid two fingers inside me and hissed. He filled me and then pulled out, until I grabbed his head and clenched around him. As he began his torturous strokes between my cleft, he grazed his fingers across my nipples. With Hunter’s warm, wet touch licking each of my hardened tips, he slipped a longer finger inside me, filling me in a new explicable way. Whimpering, I came apart in his hands. A low, deep satisfied groan came out of his throat before his tongue collided with mine in a devouring kiss and orgasm.

I got up from my bed and put the light on in the room after we’d cuddled. I didn’t know how long I’d been in his arms, but it was perfect. I felt safe and great and, while I may have wished that I’d done things differently in the future, the fact was that, in this moment, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’d pondered if he had a condom in his wallet tonight, because he’d said he didn’t have one when he’d been in this room with me previously. As much as I craved him, and felt so connected with him, I felt like I had to see if he would feel that it’d be all right for me to give all of myself to him.  He didn’t seem to understand that what was worse than him not wanting me, was if he wished he hadn’t done anything with me. I knew that he wanted to be inside me too, but he continued to have a hang up about me giving myself to him entirely.

My eyes adjusted to the harsh bright light and focused on Hunter sprawled out on my bed in all his naked glory. It was a good thing I went down on him in the dark tonight because I would’ve just stood there, staring at him. The tattoos on his chest were dark symbols that seemed like they meant something important because of the details they had. The only tattoo I recognized was the Greek symbol for strength on his upper thigh. It was actually beautiful and very fitting. Mom and Dad had said that tattoos were for people who thought they were individuals and wanted to make a statement that they didn’t abide by the “universal” customs of society, but I’d secretly thought it was wonderful when someone got a tattoo. It was permanent and a way to embrace one’s body, but I hadn’t told them that. They would have said that Beth was influencing me to like tattoos and it would’ve been nearly impossible for me to see Beth outside of school. The chiseled muscles and planes of his body were like the dream of a nude art class. He reminded me of a male Greek statue and his tattoos only made his body mor
e riveting.

Hunter

MARISKA SAT DOWN BESIDE me after she put on her robe. She slid her eyes all over my body, repeatedly. There’s nothing sexier than having her all to myself, naked and filled with unabashed lust for me. I didn’t deny that my blood was pumping through my body, making me feel like she caressed my entire body with a feather while I remained motionless. My breath hitched as my cock twitched against her belly button. She spread her fingers over my chest, tracing over one of my tattoos, the most important one on my body, right on my heart: M.L. It was the smallest one I had, but that didn’t make it any less significant.

“Whose M.L.?” Mariska asked softly.

“Marion Lovell, my Nana,” I answered and a slight smile tugged the corner of her lips. “She’s deceased.”

She laid down beside me and touched her lips on Nana’s tattoo. That act of compassion made me want to tell her everything. Other girls had asked about the initials and I hadn’t answered. They’d assumed it was for some old lover, but I didn’t talk about such an important woman to just anybody. The first person whom had taught me that it was more than okay for me to like art and have appreciation for all sorts of hobbies was Marion Lovell. That it was ok
ay for me to not be like Chase.

Mariska didn’t ask any other questions, and it amazed me that she understood that I needed the silence. It’d been years since Nana’s passing, but that didn’t mean that her physical absence in my life didn’t make me feel a little empty at times. There was so much about life and the world that I didn’t know how to properly cope with. There weren’t enough shelves to house all of the self-help and coaching books about healthy coping skills. I’d read enough of them when I’d been at my worst and the most lost. Now, I just dealt with each situation as it came, and found out how well I put those tips and voices of advice into practice.

“It was my first tattoo. When I’d completed my apprenticeship at the tattoo shop, my supervisor personally offered to give me any tattoo I wanted. I’d chosen to have M.L. written in cursive.”

“I think you chose right, Hunter.” She dipped her head again and kissed Nana’s tattoo again. When she raised her head and leaned on her elbow, she frowned at me. “Did I do something wrong?”

As I sat up, she stood. “It’s late. Annette’s with Riley right now and I wanna go home so she can leave.”

Mariska gathered her hair in a scrunchie. “Are you going to sleep with her?” she asked in a suspiciously calm tone.

“The only thing that will happen between Annette and I will be strictly business from here on out. I am going to talk to her tonight. That’s the other reason why I want to go home.” I titled up her chin when I got to my feet. “If she didn’t have a good rapport with Riley, I’d get someone else. Riley needs stability.” Mariska gave me a quick nod and an embarrassed expression flickered across her face. “Thanks for asking me about her. I can’t read minds. Sometimes, I think I get you, but I wanna know what you’re thinking.”

She settled her hands on my chest and I sighed at her touch. I leaned down and, from the half-smirk planted on the edge of her lips, I learned that she was addicted to my touch like I was to hers.

“Give Riley a kiss for me,” Mariska said after I’d gotten dressed and she walked me downstairs without looking like she cared what anyone thought of her kissing me goodnight while she was in her tie dye robe.

***

ON SUNDAY MORNING, CHASE called me and asked if he could come to my house. I hadn’t seen or spoken to him or Beth in a couple of days. Besides work and school, I saw Mariska every chance I had. I’d thought about reaching out to them. Being alone with Mariska was a lot of fun, but I still wanted to spend time with Beth and Chase. If it weren’t for Beth, I wouldn’t have Chase or Mariska. I’d just have work and school.

Chase and I gave each other a half hug when he stepped into my house. Riley came out of her little house Mariska had bought for her. Chase grinned and petted her before we went into the kitchen. She didn’t think he paid her enough attention, so she positioned herself on her back and made noises that were a mixture of whimpers and sharp barks.

“Have you been seeing Hunter and Mariska more than me?” Chase asked Riley—in a mocking tone that was without question intended for me as he ran his fingers on the sides of her face, to her satisfaction. He stood up and went to the sink to wash his hands. It was a good thing I’d had some sleep last night, so that I was prepared for whatever he was going to say.

I started brewing the rich coffee that Chase and I liked. “We like each other’s company,” I said casually and Chase quirked his eyebrow at me.

“Beth told me that she thought something was going on between you guys. That when she and Riley came into the house that night they slept over here, you two were red as a tomato.”

“Damn. Beth didn’t let on that she suspected a thing.”

“Yeah, that’s ‘cause you guys are used to seeing each other all red faced and shit.” He shook his hand and I poured the coffee into his mug. “But she can tell a normal flush from how she said you and Mariska had looked.”

I put a little a cream into my black coffee and came around the counter to sit next to him on my stool. “Let Beth know that I am not looking anywhere else,” I told him before he started fishing.

“I will.” He started to gulp down his coffee, and when he set his cup down, he asked, “You think Mariska would be cool if we hung out here or at my apartment next weekend?”

“I can’t see why she wouldn’t be.”

Chase bobbed his head and swung his gaze to me. “We won’t be near Miami or Paloma’s Edge during the holidays if we keep winning. I’ve only taken on two freelance projects this month, and that’s eaten up more of my time than I expected.” He sipped more of his coffee. “I’d like you—and Mariska, if she’s able—to spend a day or two with Beth. Jake won’t be in Paloma’s Edge during the Thanksgiving break at all. Beth will be at Bri and Gavin’s house most of the time, but I know she’s going to miss me.”

“I’ll try to see her, but business is booming during the holidays. I can make it on Thanksgiving Day, because the shop is closed.”

He slapped me on the back. “That would be perfect. It’s just that this will be our first holiday and we’ll be apart, and I want her to have good memories of the holidays now.”

“Understood. I want you to keep your head in the game.”

“Thanks, Hunter. I’ll do you a solid when I can.”

Riley barked excitedly when we rose from the stools.

“She’s getting more assertive,” Chase said with a smile. “I think we’re going to take you on a extra long walk, Riley.” She turned to Chase, lifting her front legs above his knees. I put our empty mugs in the sink and retrieved my plastic bags.

I walked to the door, where Riley was eagerly beside Chase.

“Okay, Riley. Show us the way!” I said and closed the door behind us.

Chapter 19

Hunter

I WENT THROUGH THE metal detectors and was searched three times Wednesday evening, when I visited Ari at his treatment facility after work. This had been the only place that had had a bed open for him at the last minute. Every other place had wanted physical examinations and other steps that would’ve given him too much time to think that he could get back on track by himself. I waited by a desk, along with other visitors. This room had a corrections-based feel to it, but the rest of this place was much warmer and less sterile. By no means was this facility a vacation resort, like many addiction treatment places. Rules had to be followed, or else the person was out the door and the next person came in for intake and was admitted.

Ari headed toward me with most of the red streaks in his hair fading and a silly old grin on his face. He was in a vintage shirt and a pair of jeans.

“How you been?” I asked him when he sat down and brought his hands together.

“I think I’ll be okay, Hunter,” he said and straightened his face. “And I wanted to say that I didn’t mean to bring you into my shit—”

“Have you been staying clean?” I cut him off. “I know it’s not too hard to get stuff in here.”

“For a month and five days,” he answered, eyeing me seriously. He could convince other people even if he was lying, but not me. I was a much better liar than he was.

“And you’ve been speaking up in the groups? Like really speaking up? I know you hate that more than I do.”

“I’ve been talking during group sessions.”

“I went to a meeting after work on Monday, and speaking in front of people I don’t know isn’t any easier for me. I don’t think it’ll ever be. I just want you to really take advantage of this place. You remember how fucked up the other people were when we waited for your intake?” His expression turned grim as he nodded his head. “I know those damn sayings from our old treatment were corny, but if you fall again, you might not get back up. That—that just can’t happen again, Ari. Your fans would be destroyed. Your sister and the rest of the band wouldn’t recover. I’d lose my mind, Man. What are you going to do when you complete this program? Do you know when you’ll be done?”

He ran his hands through his hair. “I get out this Sunday. That’s why I called you, to see if we could see each other before I went back to Georgia. The press think I’ll be getting out next Wednesday, or so. I figure this is as good of a place as any for you to see me. I’ll be going to outpatient there and I’m going to have a sober coach with me all day and night.”
 

“Have you spoken with Sage, Renner, or Austin?”

“I did. They’ve got no problem with me having a sober coach with us on the road.”

We talked about his daily schedule and about some songs he’d written while he was in here, until our hour of visitation was up. I drove back home, feeling less worried than I’d been in a long time.

Mariska

BETH WAS GETTING DRESSED
, while I finished curling my hair, on Saturday night. Hunter had told me that she and Chase had asked us to hang out. It’d sounded so official to me that I’d called Hunter early this morning and told him, “yes”. I had to think about it, but now that Beth was here, and we were going to meet them downstairs, I wanted to clear the air. She’d given me brief responses to my text messages, and, when I’d called, she’d said that she didn’t want to argue with me and that she needed time to wrap her head around Hunter and I dating. It wouldn’t have bothered me if she’d yelled or cursed at me. I just didn’t want the days to turn into weeks where we didn’t really talk thing out.

I put the switch down on my curling iron and unplugged it. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.” I peered at her tentatively. “I didn’t mean to talk to Bri and not you.”

Beth’s eyebrows drew together as she set her hands behind her on her bed and jerked her gaze away from her legs.

“I am not mad, Mariska.” She shook her head. “I was so scared something happened to you when I couldn’t find you. We’ve never left a place without checking in first. And then, when I asked Brianna where you were, she said that you came back here. But then I noticed that Pierce, had his arm snaked around her waist, and when I was taking that in, I knew that she lied because she didn’t look at me straight in the eye. Pierce was incapable of lying to me. Jake felt like they weren’t telling him something, so you know he told them just that.” I craned my neck in her direction, my eyes finding hers again when she paused. “And when Brianna said that you were fine, I felt like you replaced me.”

A sober expression grew over her face. I was filled with guilt over making Beth, who hadn’t had enough love growing up, feel like she was dispensable, when she was anything but. Cindy had put every guy she’d dated before Beth. I’d forgotten how that recurrent abandonment affected her to this day. Just like with Jake, my parents, and Pete, I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

“I couldn’t replace you. No one knows me inside and out, like you.”

The sad look on her face was replaced with a slight smile, an improvement from how she’d looked seconds ago. “I called it first, you know?”

I rolled my eyes at her, despite knowing that she’d probably known about my attraction to Hunter before I had. “Some part of me still wants to like a guy like Tom, but then, when I am with Hunter, I realize that I would’ve made a big mistake. I really get why you let Gregory go.”

She hauled herself up from her bed, walked over to her desk, and grabbed her satchel. “I hoped you’d understand eventually.” She put her hand on her hip. “And I forgive you for keeping me in the dark. Come on,” she opened the door, “the guys are probably wondering why we’re not out front yet.”

***

WE WATCHED RE-RUNS OF Friends, while Chase and Hunter put the finishing touches on dinner after we’d gotten into Hunter’s house. When Beth and I had begun reciting every line from each episode, Chase changed the channel from the kitchen. We decided to get up and see if they needed help with anything. Riley trotted right behind us, and watched all the activity going on in the kitchen. I think the smell of seasoned meat was making her hungry for our dinner, but she’d already been fed.

“That’s okay, Babe. Why don’t you and Mariska just sit down and relax?” Chase said, and kissed Beth on the forehead.

Beth and I exchanged a look. “We can do something, Chase. Mariska and I can bake the vegetables. I know that you’re working on the steak and Hunter’s doing the mash potatoes.”

Chase and Hunter started chuckling. They were hunched over, as if they’d been punched in their guts and their faces were red. At our expenses.

Shaking his head, Chase said, “I swore when Jake said that they would starve without him cooking, I didn’t believe it until now.”

“Nah, I think Mariska takes the cake. Does Beth make burnt pancakes and rubbery eggs?”

After Chase and Hunter were done laughing, they stood up at the same time and waved their fingers in front of their faces as if that would make the flush from their cheeks diminish.

“I guess someone doesn’t mind not getting lucky for a month,” Beth threatened, wearing a stern expression as she pivoted around and went to the couch, with Riley right on her heels.

I gave Hunter a slow smile that widened when I brought my mouth an inch away from his ear. “If you really don’t want me to give it up, you’re making it easier for me not to,” I whispered for his hearing only. Chase was bringing the t-bone steak out of his oven and my stomach growled in response to the now overwhelming smell of steak and stuffing.

Hunter reached for my wrists when I turned away from him, and my feelings of ineptness washed away from the disarming and scorching look his eyes held. They were just teasing us. And when people used to comment on our lack of culinary skills before, it hadn’t affected us. With these Lovell brothers, though, I knew that Beth and I wanted to please them.
 

***

HOURS LATER, AFTER SOME small talk and playing with Riley in the bark yard, I thought our bellies were still full from the dinner Chase and Hunter had cooked. Riley couldn’t have been any happier if we’d given her more treats. She was licking Chase’s face as he ran his fingers from the top of her head down to her back. This was the greatest double date Beth and I had been on, and, yet, I wished that Jake hadn’t gone home this weekend. He would’ve liked cooking with the guys and making fun of Beth and I. When I thought about it, he had been going home more often than I had thought he would. He did like to be with his family, even when they irked him sometimes. He was used to seeing them everyday. Why wouldn’t he want to be home, when he was allowed to do whatever he wanted?

“That’s enough, Riley. You’ll see them again,” Hunter said on a laugh and shook his head.

Riley whined when Hunter gestured for her to sit. She followed his command and was rewarded with a rub to the head from him and some treats he gave her from his pocket.

Hunter locked the door after they left, and then he wrapped his arm around me. He smelled like detergent, and a little bit like steak. I nuzzled his arm and his chest vibrated with a chuckle.

“Are you sniffing me?” His deep hazel eyes ran over me, and I nodded my head against him. “Let me see about you.” He took a step and hooked his strong, wide hands around my waist and lifted me off the ground. As I held onto Hunter’s forearms, I watched with rapt attention as the muscles bunched together and seemed to look bigger. Wrapping my legs around his waist, Hunter peered at me like he was starving. We descended onto the couch and his mouth found mine in a ferocious kiss as a wave of heat blanketed me. The hard ridges of his toned stomach pressed against my navel. He turned his head to one side and sniffed me from the side of my neck down to the valley between my breasts.

“You smell good enough to eat,” he told me. Riley made a smooth jump onto the couch and he swung his gaze to her.

I rested my lips against his. “You’ve done enough of that this week.” I felt my face redden and I changed the subject, “You two looked inseparable tonight.” His nod was the only reason that I continued, “Could you sense how he was doing, even though you two weren’t always close? Like a twin thing?”

I started to stroke Riley underneath her neck and she rubbed the side of her head against me.

“I don’t think so,” he said thoughtfully. “Chase and I hadn’t spent much time together when we were little. And when we did, it was short, so I hadn’t felt like we had the time to click.” He raised a shoulder. “I know it’s different for other twins, but for us we just happened to live in the same house and we looked alike. We’d been taught that we shouldn’t be together a lot. You know, that we should do our own thing.”

I leaned my head on his shoulder and stretched Riley’s front legs to rest on my ankles. I stilled my hand on her neck and her breathing evened out. If I had a twin, I thought I’d try to be with him or her as often as I could. When I was younger, I’d tried to spend time with Beth and Jake every chance I’d had. They’d understood me. No one compared to Pete. Yet, he was so young and I’d looked after him for most of his life, so it wasn’t the same as what I’d shared with Beth and Jake. It saddened me that Chase and Hunter had lost all those years where they could’ve bonded.

“What are you thinking?” Hunter brought my head up and I wanted to kiss him again to make all of the loneliness he bottled up disappear. He wasn’t the cold, indiffererent, or calculating drug addict that I’d believed him to be weeks ago. He wanted love and he had platonic love for Beth. However, I didn’t want him to go her anymore when he wanted to talk.

After some minutes of him patiently gazing at me and rubbing my shoulder, I asked, “Do you think you and Chase needed to go through all the rough patches in your relationship with each other in order to get to where you guys are now?”

“Oh, Mariska. Rough patches are a real nice way of saying it, but I cut his face, because I knew he had money stashed in his room. I wanted the premium coke I’d heard about that much. That savagely. There’s no starting over for Chase and I. We’re trying to have a relationship, but…” His shoulders sagged. Fear brimmed in his hazel eyes. He really didn’t like to talk about anything personal and he was giving this to me. “I think it’ll take a lot more than a double date for Chase to look at me like I am his brother. Like how I’ve seen him regard his best friend, Pierce.”

“I was scared of you when Beth told me why you scared Chase,” I told him carefully, because I didn’t want to ignore my reaction to him from this summer past. “But now, I am scared that you don’t want Chase to see you as his brother. Chase and Pierce are tight. It’s true, but I think it’s easier for you guys to act like friends because, if you admit to each other that you want to be close like you never were, than you and he think you’re setting yourselves up for a failure. But maybe you both need to put everything out there.”

“Are you sure you’re just talking about Chase and I?” He asked in a flat tone, and my stomach churned as I gave his question some serious thought.

“No, I wasn’t,” I conceded. “I was talking about us too—but I didn’t know I was, Hunter.”

“Listen, Mariska.” Abruptly, he stood up and went over to the counter. Riley nuzzled my stomach and I held onto her for comfort, because I didn’t like how Hunter was frowning at me. “There is no us. Everything that’s happened shouldn’t have. I guess I just couldn’t deprive myself. But I can’t give you anything else.”