Hesitant Heart (12 page)

They continued in silence, Aaron occasionally plucking the linen napkin he kept on the table for Sam and dabbing at Sam’s mouth or chin if need be. Aaron offered him water, stroked Sam’s cheek with the back of his hand or made sure that Sam got the last bite of the pasta. He existed for his boy. It was time to claim him completely.

Chapter Eight

Sam kept his eyes down the way he’d been taught. He rested on his heels, the position of kneeling on the pillow not only completely familiar to him, but comforting as well. It was the same way with almost everything he did for Aaron. The daily routine had helped to ease so much of Sam’s fear and uncertainty. He’d come to rely on the spankings and the tasks that had transformed what used to be a chaotic world into a calm, safe existence. But he’d also come to crave Aaron’s skilled touch.

And there was love. Neither of them had said anything about that, but how could it not be love? Everything between them was a thrill—a rush of joy, peace. Aaron was his whole world and he knew there was still so much for them to share, so much for Sam to learn. He was eager to experience it all with Aaron as his teacher.

“One more bite for you, little Sam.”

Sam obediently opened his mouth so that Aaron could feed him. In the beginning of being fed by Aaron, Sam had tried to protest that Aaron should go first, that he should be the one to have the final bit of food. Aaron had needed to remind Sam once more that not only did Aaron make the decisions, but that Sam’s well-being was his responsibility. No matter how many times he’d heard Aaron say those things, it had been difficult for him to accept the reality of them. But Sam was getting better at it.

“Let’s clean up, precious boy. Then I want to spend the rest of the night worshipping your beautiful body.”

Sam stifled a moan. As was the case whenever Aaron spoke of them touching, Sam hardened. It had become quite clear why Aaron demanded constant nudity from him. Sam couldn’t hide. It gave Aaron the opportunity to watch him and gauge how Sam responded to every small interaction that occurred between them.

After he rose then followed Aaron into the kitchen with their shared place setting, he helped his lover tidy up. He stole glances at Aaron as they worked together. He couldn’t imagine ever tiring of gazing on his handsome face, his striking form. With a quirk to his lips, Aaron peered at him sideways as he finished wiping off their dinner plate. Sam detected the gleam in Aaron’s eye.

“What does my little Sam want tonight?”

He yearned to ask so badly. After pestering Aaron to fuck him when they’d first gotten together, he’d been very patient about the whole thing. He understood enough of what went on between them that he knew that Aaron had been trying to teach him that patience. Sam also perceived that Aaron had strived to be careful with him. But it was time—Sam was ready for Aaron to be inside him.

“Can I have whatever I want?”

Aaron cocked his head. “Whatever? That seems a rather broad question. Let’s narrow it down a bit. Do you want us to have sex?”

“Oh, I always want that.”

Chuckling, Aaron stroked his cheek then leaned down for a chaste kiss. “And I find that most glorious. But was there something in particular about us having sex that you would like?”

He wasn’t sure, but he thought that Aaron might be teasing him a bit. Sam had been so good about not asking to be fucked that maybe he would get it as a reward. Aaron hadn’t even touched him inside his butt where there was the spot he’d told Sam all about that would make him feel so good. He really wanted to at
least
have that.

“Can we fuck?”

Aaron had his lips pressed together, but the gleam was still there. Sam had learned a lot about his lover in the couple of weeks that they’d been together night and day. He recognized that Aaron was holding back laughter. It had been difficult not to feel hurt or that Aaron was mocking him, but the way Aaron gave him such unconditional love, he knew it wasn’t mean-spirited.

I should tell him tonight.

The love directed at Sam from Aaron was completely clear. Sam knew it, felt it. He wanted to hear Aaron say that he loved him, but he wanted to tell Aaron he loved him even more. He wasn’t sure when the proper time would be to tell him he was in love—he’d never had to wonder about such a thing before. Since he knew he would never say those words to another man again, it was important that he do it right.

Aaron appeared to have recovered from his state of mirth. “Sam, we can most certainly fuck, I’ve ached to be inside of you for days.” Aaron gently pulled him into his arms. “But I’d rather we made love. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Sam inhaled sharply. He
thought
he did, but he needed to make sure. “Do you mean that you’re going to fuck me, but it’s because you love me too and not only because your cock is hard?”

“Oh, Sam.”

Aaron enfolded him in a warm embrace, rocking them both. Wrapping his arms tightly around Aaron’s slim waist, he breathed in his lover’s natural scent that was highlighted by the sandalwood soap he used. There was such a sense of safety when he was held by Aaron. No one could hurt him because Aaron wouldn’t let them.

“Is that all right then, little Sam? Will you let me inside your body because I love you?”

Sam squeezed Aaron. It was his turn. He’d wanted to say it for a while and now Aaron had, so there was no reason to wait any longer. He tipped his chin up to look into Aaron’s eyes.

“Yes, Sir, please. I love you too. I love you so very much.”

Aaron grabbed his hair and yanked hard enough that Sam gasped, his lips parting. Aaron descended on his mouth, taking it with force. Sam submitted to his lover’s kiss, his breath stolen. A thrill shot down his spine and lodged in his groin. Already he was hard and leaking, his balls tightening. He was grateful for the orgasm denial Aaron had begun working on with him. He didn’t want to come until Aaron was all the way in. He wanted them to do that at the same time like they’d practiced when Aaron would jack them off together.

Sam squeaked as Aaron gathered him into his arms then carried him into their bedroom. He hadn’t expected him to do such a thing. Typically, Aaron worked with Sam on his walking and posture, various stances. He directed him to always walk in step immediately behind him. It was supposed to be his training for when they went to the club.

Aaron laid him softly on the bed, his eyes never leaving Sam’s, his expression one of reverence. Sam didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing.

“Tonight, we’re doing this with me facing you, little Sam.”

He nodded, swallowing down the nervousness forming inside of him.

“We’re going to take our time.” Aaron’s voice had lowered to his most soothing tone. “You know how to ask if you need me to stop, and I will honor that, my sweet, sweet Sam.”

Aaron kissed him again, parting Sam’s lips with his tongue and gently probing his way into Sam’s mouth. Sam answered back with his own swipes and he relaxed into his lover’s embrace. Gradually, Aaron pulled back then continued to trail the kisses down Sam’s throat to his torso then still lower. He made his journey into one seamless oral exploration of Sam’s body. Sam was hard, his erection straining for a touch, but it wasn’t urgent yet. He was boneless in Aaron’s sexual care.

As Aaron licked and nibbled between Sam’s legs, Sam opened them, lifting his knees up and back. He’d become attuned to what Aaron wanted to do with him and he’d lost his shyness when it came to indicating what
he
wanted. The only time any attention had been paid to his hole was when Aaron would lave it or lightly brush a finger across and tease it. He’d never tried to penetrate him, even when Sam had pushed against his touches, encouraging him.

Aaron feasted on his ass, and that urge came over him the way it always did when Aaron played in his crease. It had been very smart for Aaron to do such a thing with Sam first before trying to get inside him—it had made Sam beg for it instead of fear it. That was part of the reason Sam trusted him so much—he knew that Aaron was very wise and only wished to make Sam feel good.

The agony of waiting to be breached by Aaron was frustrating. His lover’s enthusiasm was wonderful, the fervent swipes over his entrance intoxicating, but, oh he needed so much more. A new sensation startled him. Aaron’s tongue had become a hardened tip and he used it to prod at Sam’s hole. Aaron clutched Sam’s hips in a strong hold, manipulating him so that his pelvis remained tilted up. Even though the act was strange to him, Sam relaxed into it. It was time for Aaron to take him that way and he was certain that Aaron knew what to do.

Aaron pushed his tongue past Sam’s resistant ring of muscle and he was stretched a fraction. It was odd, but so wonderfully decadent at the same time. The tiny bit of burn he felt fell to the back of his mind as he gave himself over to the exquisite feel of Aaron’s small appendage wiggling inside him. He moaned, tried to thrust to get more of the soft, wet friction, but Aaron held him down. He was immobile, forced to take the pleasure that Aaron gifted him with.

When Aaron removed his tongue, he whimpered at its loss. All of his attention was still fixed on that tiny spot between his cheeks. He ached there,
needed
. That barely noticeable burn was just enough to remind him that there would be more. Much more.

“Stay how you are, little Sam. Hold yourself open if your legs are tired.”

Usually Sam would’ve answered him, but he couldn’t think. He only wanted to experience each moment with Aaron, focus only on what his lover did to him. Tracking Aaron’s movements by the bed, he saw a small, tube-shaped bottle he’d never noticed before. There was a metal cap that could be twisted open. He’d seen a top like that on a particular type of cream soda Aaron liked to buy. Sam had a feeling that whatever was in the bottle had nothing to do with cream soda.

Sam watched in fascination as Aaron poured some of the clear, thick liquid onto his fingers.

“This is to make it easier for you.”

The loving smile and soothing tone of Aaron’s voice kept Sam in a state of calm. Aaron rubbed his fingers together then lay next to Sam on the bed. After reaching between Sam’s cheeks he pressed one digit against his hole. As soon as the slick gel was on his skin, he understood why Aaron was using it.

“Oh, that makes sense.”

Aaron’s smile grew and he leaned down for a kiss. The moment that Sam’s lips met Aaron’s, he was breached. Sam moaned, clenching his hole then arching his back. The burn was more apparent, the intrusion more obvious. Aaron thrust the finger gently in short motions until Sam relaxed his opening. It wasn’t a bad feeling, just different.

Then Aaron pushed in farther, his movements more aggressive. He cried out, breaking their kiss when Aaron’s digit glanced over something inside him.

That’s it! That’s the spot.

“Oh, again. Do that again.”

Aaron pressed his lips to Sam’s temple as he complied with Sam’s request. It was magical, electric. Sam took over the thrusting, impaling himself on Aaron’s finger, anxious for more. Aaron removed his digit and Sam was about to protest, when another was quickly added. His rim was stretched more, the burn increasing. He didn’t care. He wanted Aaron to go back and touch that area inside him that was so amazing.

Aaron granted Sam’s wish again as he pushed in and rubbed across that spot repeatedly. His breathing stuttered, sweat building on his brow. It was so much, so very much and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop from coming.

“Oh, Sir, please…”

He keened then gasped in another breath as the pressure increased from Aaron’s ministrations.

“I’ll come, oh no, I want you in me when that happens!”

“Shh, little Sam, you will. But I want you to come now too.”

Aaron encircled Sam’s hard length with his other hand then brushed his thumb under the tip. A strangled cry fell from his lips as he shot hard, his cum splashing across his own stomach and chest. He jerked and shuddered through his climax, Aaron slowing his movements in Sam’s passage, not pressing as deep.

Sam’s mind was empty of any coherent thought. He was a like a jellyfish, no form or structure to his body, just a limp pile of goo. He giggled at the image.

“That’s a lovely sound. You’re still doing well then?”

Sighing, Sam tried to conjure the right words for how he was doing so that he could let Aaron know that he loved everything, that he didn’t want him to stop.

“So much more than well. More…” He couldn’t think straight. “Just more.”

“Yes, little Sam.”

With his eyes closed, he wouldn’t be able to watch Aaron’s next move, but he didn’t care. He only wanted to absorb it all, let Aaron have his way because his lover took care of him so well. There seemed to be more of the slick substance added to his opening as the tips of Aaron’s fingers pressed against it again. This time when Aaron pushed his way in, Sam had been ready and unafraid.

The thrusts returned, but they weren’t as deep. Aaron left the bundle of nerves alone that he’d just played with in favor of stretching Sam’s passage some more, Aaron twisting his hand repeatedly. Aaron added a third finger and Sam clenched. The stronger burn and a genuine feeling of too much fullness overtook him.

“Let go, Sam. Don’t resist. I won’t hurt you, but you can still tell me to stop if you need to.”

He didn’t want to tell Aaron to stop. If he did, then he wouldn’t get to feel his lover inside of him, and he wanted that more than anything. Keeping his eyes closed, he concentrated on giving in to Aaron’s invasive touches, allowing him to take Sam’s body the way he wanted.

Aaron spread his fingers wider, continuing to twist them. He went deeper, opening Sam up more as he did. This time, he ghosted over that spot again and Sam was surprised when his flaccid dick twitched in interest. Aaron was so incredible…the way he knew what to do to him. He was grateful that the man he’d found to be his love was so very skilled.

Aaron withdrew and Sam made a sound of protest. He needed to be filled. The ache at the loss of Aaron’s intimate touch was painful.