Hey Dad! Meet My Mom (12 page)

‘Sure. Where?’

‘That’s a silly one. At Maya’s, do we ever meet anywhere else for coffee?’

‘LOL.’

After a sleepless night on Saturday, this cheerful prospect on my mobile screen could be the only reason for an instant smile on my face. Myra’s message took away the laziness of the Sunday morning and filled the day with joy for me.

Before taking a shower, I searched my private drawer for taking out my secret mate of the past few days. I pulled out a cigarette from an entire Wills packet, lit it and puffed the smoke. All those sleepless nights had given birth to a smoker within me.

I took a short shower, got ready within minutes, took the car keys and rushed to pick up Myra from her PG accommodation. As always she took almost an hour to show up, so to kill time I decided to smoke a few more cigarettes.

My thoughts were occupied with the two girls of my life. One was Myra and the other was that ‘dream girl’. I noticed the smoke coming out of my mouth; it floated up to kiss the sky but disappeared in the path itself. I exhaled once again, and a similar thing happened, the smoke disappeared just like it had never existed. I did it again, the smoke started to rise up but this time it didn’t disappear; my pupils dilated. The smoke took the shape of the ‘same’ girl and started to stare at me. My body straightened automatically. The shape started to come down. My body froze. The ‘girl shaped smoke’ was now in front of my eyes; that ‘girl’ smiled and then vanished into thin air. Behind it, Myra was standing.

“You smoke?” Myra asked.

“Occasionally.” I tried to behave normally. I wanted to fight this situation. I was not a loser.

“For a smoker and a drinker, there are only two occasions when they smoke or drink; one, when it rains and the other when it doesn’t.” She said while sitting in the car next to me. “Leave it now.”

At Maya’s cafe, I felt at home. Ever since the day Maya had told me about her darker side, I felt much more attached to her. I felt like I knew her more than anyone else and at that moment, the way she was looking at Myra and me, I could say that she was very happy to see us together. My life comprised of very few people and I was very fortunate that each one of them was genuine and very close to my heart.

Before ordering anything, Maya came with our favorite coffee and sandwiches. Myra knew that Maya was a kind of a void filler in my life. She had started to admire her too.

We talked endlessly about different things. I wanted to get more involved physically as well but my nightmares were distracting me a lot. Myra knew that I was not feeling good; she wanted me to think about the happiness in my life rather than thinking about the problems. She wanted me to enjoy but I wasn’t able to.

While sipping my coffee, I looked outside the window pane next to me. The road in front of the cafe was empty. Just a beggar was sitting on the opposite street. That was a bit strange because I had never seen him before.

“Hello, are you like, ignoring me or something?” Myra brought my attention back to her. I said nothing.

“You are still thinking about the nightmares, right?” She said. “I think you should talk to your uncle about this. How long do you want to go on struggling like this? I am scared, Puneet.” She showed her concern. I had told her about my past and my medical background. I didn’t want to keep secrets from her.

Secrets are like rust on a relationship. They only make it lose its strength.

I said nothing; I had nothing to say at all. I just pretended to listen to Myra’s endless talks. I poured the extra cream over the coffee and continued to stir it. I had nothing else to do.

I picked up the coffee mug and brought it close to my lips when my eyes fell on it. She was there. The cream over the coffee had taken the shape of my nightmare. I threw the cup in fear and left my chair. Myra and Maya both looked terrified. I was panting as if I had run several miles. Then I sensed something looking at me through the window panel next to me. Slowly I turned my gaze. It showed the empty street outside; nothing else could be seen. Suddenly out of nowhere, that beggar came into the picture. He was leaning on the window panel. I could see his expressionless face, his head full of white hair. His eyes expressed a lot; I could see my fear in his eyes.

I wanted to run from there. Without explaining anything to anyone, I rushed out of the cafe. Myra followed me. We both sat in the car and were about to rush away when that old beggar came and started stroking the car with his bare hand.

“He has returned. Your past has returned. Follow your dreams.” I felt numb, terrified, shocked. I rushed my car away.

Nothing came to my mind. Myra said nothing. I wished that this could all be a dream and I would wake up any moment. But I knew that this was not a dream; this was reality.

I stopped my car in the middle of nowhere and started to cry. I cried like a baby who had lost his favorite toy. Myra tried to console me but I was out of my senses now. My nightmare girl had turned my life into hell and there was no escape from this nightmare now. I felt devastated.

Myra drove me back home. I talked to nobody and went directly to my room. That was the first time that Myra met my mother. They talked for a few minutes and then Myra took leave. Maybe she told my mom about my nightmares because after Myra left, mom came directly to my room and sat next to me. I was lying on the bed; awake. She took my head and put it on her lap. I felt relieved. I slept like a child. My mother’s warmth was all I needed at that time. I forgot everything for a while and slept peacefully.

The next day my mother forced me to go to my uncle’s clinic. I agreed. I picked up my car keys and left. But mid-way I changed my mind. I decided to rethink things. I went to a park and sat there for some time. I couldn’t stop thinking about the beggar. He had said
“He has returned. Your past has returned. Follow your dreams.”

Who was he referring to, who had returned? Was he talking about Rishi?
Your past has returned?’
Yes, Rishi could be referred to as past.
Follow your dreams!
Yes, that was the same thing Rishi had told me before leaving. What lay in my dreams? There was no particular dream of mine. I had very common dreams; just like every other person. Money, family and happiness; nothing else. Or did he mean something else? Was he referring to my nightmares? That girl who haunted me? But how could I follow her? Ahh! This was confusing. How badly I needed Rishi at that time! With these thoughts, I didn’t know when, my eyes closed, I dozed off and began to dream.

The whole surrounding was strangely calm and empty. No sound, no feeling, no smell; nothing was there. The only thing which could be seen was the color white. In normal conditions I would have been stricken with fear, but not today because I knew that I was dreaming.

I started to move forward. One part of me wanted to wake up and other wanted to know what was there in this Pandora’s Box. The white color was bright and seemed to be never ending; it wasn’t hurting, rather soothing my eyes. I kept on moving towards nowhere.

I felt someone holding my hand now. He was dragging me somewhere. I tried to look at him but my eyes got no visual. I still felt nothing. I just followed in peace. Slowly the whiteness faded and real world colors took its place. I again tried to peek from the corner of my eyes to see who was holding my hand and guiding me. It was Rishi! A strange happiness took over my heart. I smiled but with the fading whiteness, Rishi too faded.

I looked everywhere but there was nothing. I was in some college campus, I suppose. Students were wandering around me; no one seemed to be familiar. But then someone crossed me and it felt like I knew that person. That scent smelled familiar. I followed. It was a girl. I called out her name. She turned and then faded in thin air as if she never existed. The campus too faded.

Now I was in a forest; running to save my life from someone. I felt as if I was going to die. Then again it faded. I shouted out Rishi’s name. I didn t know why, but I called out to him. From nowhere Rishi came in front of me. He looked very serious. He was showing nothing on his face. His looks scared me. I thought it was some kind of a prank on his part but no, it was not.

“Hey Dad!” He said in a harsh voice. He raised his index finger to me and continued, “Meet my Mom.” I looked back and saw her. She was standing just behind me; with open hair and red eyes, she took my breath away in fear.

“I told you a lie.” Rishi continued. “I am not your future son; I am the one from your past.” Then he smiled, in a weird way. Both of them laughed, I was trembling in fear.

I woke up. I was sweating. I was panting. I was shaking in fear. I was sitting on a bench in a park. I took out my handkerchief from the back pocket of my trouser. I put that on my face to wipe the sweat away. When I removed it, I saw Rishi standing in front of me. That scared the hell out of me.

“Hey Dad!” He said and smiled. “Would you like to meet my mom now?”

I ran. I ran for my life. I picked my car and went to my uncle’s clinic. Rishi followed me sitting next to me in the car. He had a blank face; it was the scariest moment of my life.

There are some places in this world about which people say that before dying you should visit them at least once. Similarly, there are some places you would never like to visit and I was about to enter one of them; the clinic of a psychiatrist. It took loads of courage to even stare at the clinic’s board. It read ‘Dr. Sharad Ahuja’. I stood there, outside the clinic and was waiting for someone to push me inside. My heart beat was getting lowered and I was perspiring heavily.

A sudden urge of running far away from the place got ignited within me and at that particular moment I saw him, again, and that was enough for me to drop the idea and run inside the clinic.

“Hello Puneet!” Uncle was trying to make me feel comfortable,
part of his job,
but my comfort had been brutally killed by someone, sometime back.

“Hi...” I said without making any eye contact with the doctor.
How could I make eye contact with a doctor when my eyes were busy looking for someone else?

“So Puneet, tell me, how can I help you?” Dr. asked and for the first time I looked at him. He was a man with a long white beard, maybe in his late forties, a little fat and constantly smiling.
A trained clinical smile.

“I can see my son.” I said and instantly his smile vanished.

“So.... What’s the problem in that?” he looked more attentive now.

“I can see my son, 10 years old, a perfect carbon copy of my face cut. He talks to me, he roams with me everywhere I go and he never leaves me alone.” I was about to burst into tears. I choked.

“It’s all normal, Puneet, at 10 years of age some children behave a bit odd, there’s nothing to worry about.... ” He was getting everything wrong; I had to cut him in between to make my point clear.
How could he consider my case as ‘normal’?

“I can see my son.” I shouted. “My son, who hasn’t yet taken birth; my son whom
only
I can see. I am not even married doctor and still........ I can see my son.”