Hey Sunshine (2 page)

“If you manage to get ahold of him, tell him to call home immediately,” his mother demanded. “I do not find this amusing at all, by the way. His future is at stake.”

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” I said slowly. “What’s going on?”

“You expect me to believe you didn’t know? That this wasn’t part of your
plans
?” I could picture her sneering face as she spit out the last words.

“Mrs. Dempsey, what happened?”

“Chase is gone. He left early this morning.”

“Gone?” I could feel my pulse pounding in my head.
Gone where?
Chase couldn’t be gone.

“Yes, Avery,
gone
. For a smart girl, you’re not following along here.” I cringed at the venom in her words. “Chase packed his things and left sometime before I woke. According to his note, he’s been recruited for a forestry position in Alaska.”

“Alaska?” What about football… Oberlin… Ohio?

“I don’t have time for you to repeat my words back to me. If you hear from Chase, you will call me immediately. Goodbye.”

The line went dead and I pulled the phone away from my ear in disbelief. I took three deep breaths before I clicked over to my speed dial and pressed the button for Chase’s number. After four rings, a recorded message said that the person I was trying to reach was not accepting calls at this time.

On an impulse, I scrolled through my contacts with shaking fingers until I found Kyle’s number. They were best friends and I hoped he’d know something about Chase’s whereabouts. He answered immediately.

“Hey, Avery. What’s up?”

“Hi,” I said cautiously. Kyle sounded completely normal, just like this was any other day. “Have you talked to Chase today?”

“Nah,” he said. “We’re supposed to hit the school gym later though. Wanna come?”

I almost smiled, because Kyle was always sweetly oblivious, but today was different. “No, thanks. Um, Kyle, I don’t think Chase is going to the gym with you today.”

“No? That’s cool. We can go tomorrow. Maybe I’ll go for a run.”

I sighed. He clearly had no idea that Chase was MIA. “Kyle, Chase is gone. His mom said he left for a forestry job? Do you know anything about that?” My voice cracked on the last word.

“Oh shit…” Kyle exhaled. “He really left, huh? I didn’t think he was serious.”

“You knew?” I cried. “You knew he was going?”

“No, no,” he protested. “He just talked about it once or twice, you know, since that guy from the Odessa station mentioned it. I never thought he’d actually go.”

“What guy from Odessa? I need you to tell me whatever you know, please.” Getting information from Kyle’s meandering mind was like pulling teeth, but I was determined.

“Um, well, we met this old guy from another station on a call a couple months ago, this other firefighter who used to work for the National Park Service. You know – smoke jumping, doing search and rescue and shit. He talked it up a lot, made it sound real exciting. Chase kept asking him all kinds of questions, and the guy said he could get him a job if he wanted.”

Kyle paused, and my stomach sank. This was real. Chase loved the adrenaline rush, the praise and glory of being the hero quarterback fireman, on and off the field. Firefighting and emergency work would be the ultimate high for him. We were eighteen, legal adults. Chase was free to do whatever he wanted, regardless of our plans.

“Anyway, Chase mentioned it a few times, and we kinda joked around, like wouldn’t it be crazy if he blew off Ohio and ran up to Alaska instead.”

My entire body went numb. “Do you know who it was, Kyle? The firefighter from Odessa?”

“No. Sorry, Avery. I can't believe he just left, without telling you. I never thought he’d do that,” Kyle said sadly.

“Me neither,” I told him.

Kyle kept talking, his voice distant in my ear as I slid from my bed to the floor and rested my forehead on my knees, too shocked to cry.

* * *

A nagging beep woke me from what was probably the worst night’s sleep of my life. I rolled over and grabbed my cell phone from the nightstand, jabbing at the screen until the alarm finally shut off. The air in the tiny room was stale, and the only light came from the single window where one of the blinds was crooked and broken.

I watched the dust filter through the stream of sunlight for a second before glancing at the phone again to check the date. Exactly seven weeks since Chase disappeared and three weeks since I’d stopped trying to contact him.
What's the point?
He’s clearly forgotten all about you
.

A wave of nausea crept over me and I jumped up and ran to the dirty bathroom in the corner of the motel room rented to J.D. Warren, the bull-riding distraction I’d kept busy with for the past month. Crouching next to the toilet, I cried as I emptied the contents of my stomach for the third morning that week. Up came the five beers mixed with pizza as I heaved and sobbed.

Damn it, Avery. I can’t believe you did this to yourself.
I stood up shakily and wiped my mouth, staring at my reflection in the mirror. My behavior and my appearance were both unrecognizable. “Most Organized” in the yearbook didn’t wear skimpy tank tops like this, she didn’t drink shitty beer and stay out all night, and she certainly didn’t shack up with sleazy but charming rodeo cowboys at crappy motels.

And yet.

I rinsed my face with lukewarm water and tried to ignore the paper bag on the counter, but it was impossible. J.D. wasn’t around right now, which meant it was the perfect time to get this over with, if there was a perfect time for such an event. I read the instructions carefully, took the test, and settled back to wait for the longest three minutes of my life.

PREGNANT. The results came up seconds later, immediately, unmistakably. My hands shook as I picked up the plastic stick and stared at the word that was changing the rest of my life. My knees almost gave out but I stumbled back to the nightstand and grabbed my cell phone. My instinct said to get the hell out of here, go home and tell my parents everything. We’d argued more lately than ever before in my life, and I needed to fix it.

Pregnant. Suddenly everything was up in the air – Oberlin, my future, all of it. I looked around the dingy room. What exactly was I doing here? And where was J.D.? It was only nine a.m., and he wasn’t exactly a morning person. Before I told my parents, I needed to tell my baby’s father. As his cell phone rang, I realized that his clothes weren’t strewn all over the floor like usual, and my stomach churned again.

For the second time that summer, I sat alone in a room and listened to a recorded voice telling me that a boy I hoped I could count on wasn’t coming back.

Chapter 2

Four Months Ago

TO: AVERY KENT

FROM: CHASE DEMPSEY

SUBJECT: DON’T DELETE THIS

Hey Avery,

I know we haven’t talked in a long time, but I’m leaving here soon and I miss you. If you don’t hate me too much, please write back. I don’t know where you are, but I want to see you. Tell me where to go.

I sat back in my dad’s desk chair and took a deep breath. I tucked my shaking fingers into the pockets of my hooded sweatshirt and stared at the screen. This email was the very last thing I expected today. It had been almost four years since I’d heard from Chase Dempsey directly.

Indirectly, I’d heard plenty about the Hotshot-crew search-and-rescue firefighter, splitting his time between the wilderness of Alaska and the Washington state forests. Chase had passed up a potential shot at the NFL to save people, trees, and cute furry animals in need. He was the hometown hero, and the Dempseys – despite their initial disappointment – made sure that no one forgot about him even though he had never bothered to contact any of his old friends.

I picked up my cell phone and dialed.

“Guess what?” I said when Heather answered.

“You reconsidered a blind date with the guy in my fondant decorating class?” she said hopefully.

“The answer to that one is still no, sorry.” I laughed in spite of my jumping nerves. “You’ll never guess, actually, so I’ll just tell you.”

“I don’t know why you always set me up for failure,” Heather grumbled.

“Chase emailed me,” I blurted. “Today, just now.”

“What?!” she shrieked. “Are you serious? What did he say?”

“Not much. Just that he was leaving Alaska or wherever, and he missed me and wanted to see me.” I stared at the words on the computer screen again, wondering if I’d misread them somehow.

“Radio silence for almost four years, he never visits or even calls, and now he misses you? It’s insulting, really. Ridiculous!”

“I know,” I said slowly.

Tell me where to go.

He has no idea what I’m doing, or what’s happened since he’s been gone
, I realized. The Dempseys made sure the whole town knew of Chase’s accomplishments, but I doubted they had ever mentioned me. Typical. And probably for the best.

“Are you– are you going to write him back?” Heather asked, and I could almost feel her dubiousness through the phone.

“I don’t know yet.” I bit my tongue at the lie. Just seeing Chase’s name in my inbox made my heart beat triple time. All the feelings I'd thought were gone or well buried came flying to the surface, and suddenly I was seventeen again and the all-state quarterback was asking me for a date.

“Just think about it before you do anything, okay, Avery? I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“I won’t,” I said absentmindedly, still staring at the computer. But I knew it was too late for that the minute I read his email.

TO: CHASE DEMPSEY

FROM: AVERY KENT

SUBJECT: RE: DON’T DELETE THIS

Chase,

I don’t hate you. I wanted to, because I was really hurt, but I can’t. I’m not sure what your parents might have told you but I’m still in Brancher… I never left.

TO: AVERY KENT

FROM: CHASE DEMPSEY

SUBJECT: RE: RE: DON’T DELETE THIS

Hi Avery,

Thanks for replying. I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I’m glad to hear you don’t hate me, although I couldn’t blame you if you did. If I come home, will you see me, please? Dinner? We can talk. You’re right, my folks never told me anything, so I assumed you’d gone to Oberlin. What happened?

Chase was taking this seriously. It took me three days to decide whether or not to write him back, but once I sent my reply he answered within hours. The question remained: how much did I tell him? What did he deserve to know?

TO: CHASE DEMPSEY

FROM: AVERY KENT

SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: DON’T DELETE THIS

I’m not sure about dinner. Everything is different now. I don’t know where to start.

TO: AVERY KENT

FROM: CHASE DEMPSEY

SUBJECT: START HERE

I want a second chance with you. Catch me up, and I’ll be in Brancher in four months.

* * *

Spilling my guts to Chase wasn’t exactly what I planned to do over the summer, but that’s exactly what was happening. After the basic outline of the past four years, we were filling in the blanks with details… and feelings.

TO: CHASE DEMPSEY

FROM: AVERY KENT

SUBJECT: RE: RE: FOUR YEARS PART TWO

It was hard and often terrifying, but I’m really proud of what I’ve done on my own – going back to school, raising Annabelle, working, all of it. She makes everything worth it.

TO: AVERY KENT

FROM: CHASE DEMPSEY

SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: FOUR YEARS PART TWO

I’m sorry that happened to you, with the hospital and everything. I hate hospitals. J.D. sounds like an asshole. You’re so much better than that. Anyone who walks out on someone who cares about them is an idiot, trust me I know from personal experience. I’m trying to fix my own mistakes now – and you’re at the top of that list.

“I was so afraid to tell him about what happened when Annabelle was born, how I couldn’t have more children,” I told Heather over breakfast. We were sitting in the back booth at The Kitchen before I started my shift, and I was catching her up on the latest emails from Chase.

“But he was fine with it, right?” Heather wrinkled her nose at the croissant on her plate. “I need to use more butter next time. This batch is dry.”

I snagged it and took a bite. “Tastes good to me.” I swallowed and smiled at her. “He was sweet. Just said that he was sorry I went through all that. Oh, and that J.D. is an idiot.”

“Finally!” Heather exclaimed. “We agree on something!”

TO: AVERY KENT

FROM: CHASE DEMPSEY

SUBJECT: RE: ME & ANNABELLE

I still can’t believe you have a three year old. Thanks for sending me the picture. She’s pretty, she looks just like you. I know you’ll get into NYU, don’t worry. I’d like to go back to school, pick up that business degree I never got around to. Maybe New York would be a good place to do it.

TO: CHASE DEMPSEY

FROM: AVERY KENT

SUBJECT: RE: RE: ME & ANNABELLE

I’ll be on pins and needles until I have the acceptance letter in my hand. It could change everything in the best way, especially if you wanted to be a part of it. To me, New York seems like the place where anything can happen.

Chase and I had something once, something exciting, and nostalgia combined with a heavy dose of optimism made me believe we could make it work the second time around.

That optimist waited like a giddy schoolgirl for his emails, blushed ridiculously at his deep voice during our phone calls – when we were both available, and he had cell reception – and basically just regressed to her high-school-senior self whenever she pictured his tall, handsome silhouette on the football field, waving confidently at her like he had every Friday night for a year.