Hidden Depths (6 page)

Under the pressure of torture, tongues would be loosened and that would compromise Dr Wissemann and his own family. No, he decided he should be content that he'd acted responsibly with Felix and that would have to satisfy his moral conscience for the moment. But he would safeguard Susanne during her pregnancy and try to keep his promise to return her to her family.

Motzen, in the midst of a bleak, snow-covered winter, looked vastly different from when Dr Wissemann had last been there in the spring. He had seen Susanne at the nursing home just after Axel was born. Life was going to be hard for a 14-year-old teenage mother but he had believed there was a promise of something better to come.

Jens's wife had persuaded him to let events unfold and not have any further involvement with anyone from Torgau and to concentrate on their own children, just in case the authorities caught up them. Jens reluctantly agreed and tried to distance himself from his Torgau past and make a fresh start. He paid the owner of the nursing home out of his hard-earned savings to keep Susanne Waltz and her baby safe throughout the winter months of 1989. If the political climate allowed, Jens promised himself to return to the nursing home and help Susanne Waltz the following spring.

Klaus and Ingrid Felker welcomed Dr Wissemann into their home, their mood sombre. The ticking of a grandfather clock and its' chimes were the only sounds Dr Wissemann could hear as he clasped Felix's hands in his, noticing in a distracted way that they were red and flaky.

‘I'm so sorry for your loss,' he said, softly. Klaus shook the doctor's hand. ‘I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances,' he said.

‘Herr Doktor, would you like something to drink?' Ingrid asked.

‘A coffee would be fine. Please, call me Jens.'

Felix handed Dr Wissemann his identity card. ‘You dropped it – it's how we knew how to find you. I tried to give it back when you were only five metres away from me in Berlin but I lost you in the crowd.'

Dr Wissemann was surprised. ‘You were in Berlin too? How strange. Thank you. I felt quite a fool, losing my identity card.'

‘Susanne's in the bedroom,' Klaus began. ‘We haven't called for an ambulance or the police, we waited for you. I hope this was OK. Felix told us how much you helped him and Susanne and we are forever in your debt.'

‘You owe me nothing. I'll see her now,' Dr Wissemann told them.

The sight of her lying lifeless on the bed brought tears to his eyes. ‘Dear girl,' he whispered to her corpse.

‘Will you call an undertaker?' Ingrid asked.

Dr Wissemann nodded. ‘Now I'll check the baby, to make sure he's all right.'

‘We want to keep him,' Ingrid announced. ‘We don't want to lose Felix or Axel.'

‘Well, you're Felix's next of kin and he wants to stay with you, so I can't see there being any problem and the courts could award you legal guardianship until he's 18. As for the baby, I don't know.'

Ingrid frowned and shook her head. ‘I'm sure they won't let us keep either of them when they find out what's happened to Susanne.'

Dr Wissemann could see the fear in her eyes. ‘It's no one's fault. Would you like me to help you with Axel's adoption?'

‘Would you, Jens?' Ingrid pleaded.

Dr Wissemann reassured her ‘Yes, of course I'll help, and with Felix's case.'

‘When I'm old enough, I'm going to change my name to Baum. Felix Baum, my grandmother's family name,' Felix told them. ‘Waltz has been an unlucky name for me and I think Susi would want Axel to have the name of Felker. We'll both have a new name and a new start.'

‘Klaus and I haven't any children of our own. Now we have two sons and I'm so afraid they'll be taken from us,' Ingrid told the doctor.

‘The new Germany can't possibly object to our family reunification,' Klaus remarked bitterly. ‘Ingrid, don't worry, we've lost Susanne but we'll not lose our boys.'

‘I'll sign a death certificate, deal with the police, etcetera,' Dr Wissemann told them. ‘You said she jumped from the balcony at the top of the hangar, so there's only one thing I can write: suicide.'

‘Couldn't you lie for us?' Felix implored. ‘Axel will suffer one day when he learns the truth. Couldn't you say it was an accident?'

‘Felix!' Klaus exclaimed. ‘You can't ask the doctor to lie on a death certificate. He could get struck off!'

Ingrid concurred with her husband. ‘Felix, we can't compromise the doctor. What difference does it make what Dr Jens writes on the death certificate? She's gone.'

‘Tante! It'll make all the difference in the world to Axel. And maybe it'll affect your chances of adopting him.' Felix turned his attention the doctor. ‘Dr Wissemann. I'm just a kid, what do I know? But I know about stigma from being a Torgau boy. I don't want Axel to have any labels forced on him and live his life under a cloud or grow up thinking his mother didn't love him or want him. How do you think he'll feel if he learns someday she jumped to her death because she thought it was the only way out?'

Klaus and Ingrid agreed. ‘We'll never tell him the truth.'

‘The truth's bound to come out someday,' Dr Wissemann began. ‘But by then, our lies won't look like anything compared to some in East Germany. I should have realised Susanne was depressed and helped her when she was alive.'

‘Then help her son,' Felix said, crossing his fingers behind his back.

Dr Wissemann nodded. ‘OK, I'll do it, if it means protecting Axel. Poor Susanne's death certificate will say “death by misadventure” and the truth remains hidden. Agreed?'

They all nodded in a tacit acceptance that sealed their collaboration.

Chapter Nine
: A New Dawn

C
HRISTMAS WAS A SOBER
affair. Susanne's funeral a few weeks earlier meant they weren't in the mood for festive merriment. Grandmother –
Oma
 – Gisela was disappointed that Klaus would not be in Rugen for
Weihnachten
(Christmas) but understood their family reunion would have to wait. Bernd and his family travelled to the Baltic for the festivities with his mother and sister Maria, whilst Klaus, Ingrid and Felix adjusted to life in Motzen without Susanne – yet with an intrinsic part of her: baby Axel.

The cottage was now filled with nappies and with a baby waking everyone up most nights Felix found it all too much and would run off into the woods. Alone, his thoughts usually turned to Susi. The lucid, nightmare visions of his last conversation with his sister and her flight through the air ending her short and tragic life at his feet had not abated. He felt her blood on his hands and no amount of scrubbing would make him clean. He was now free to integrate back into society but he'd become self-conscious about many things, especially his raw hands, and was summoning all his inner strength to curb his obsessions.

In the world outside Motzen, retribution was in the air. In January 1990, thousands of protestors stormed the Stasi Secret Police headquarters in East Berlin and managed to get inside. The files full of secrets and lies, stealthily gathered and assembled, were thrown out of the windows, to the delight of the crowds below. There was snow on the ground and the floating paper gave the effect of a sudden snowstorm. Those who had used their position of power and authority unwisely were challenged and motions set in place to bring them to justice.

A few months later, in March, elections were held and Lothar de Maziere became the only democratically elected Prime Minister of East Germany. As Premier, he signed the ‘two plus four treaty' which ended the rights and responsibilities of the four wartime Allies – France, USA, Great Britain and Russia – in Berlin. For the two Germany's, East and West, it was vital for unification. Things were changing rapidly. East Germans had more money and access to Western consumerism. They threw away their outdated goods and bought into the modern world. No longer could Ossies be defined by their clothes.

In the spring of 1990, Felix started school again. He'd avoided it as long as possible by helping out Klaus in the boatyard. Felix only had to read a manual to give a project a go but at school he felt as if he'd learn more by being at home and experiencing life rather than sitting in a boring classroom. But he soon made friends and settled in, to his surprise discovering he was good at debating in class and could manipulate situations to his own advantage.

His maths master, Herr Janowicz, a tall, spindly man with a dowager's hump, was soon to retire. A teacher of the old school, he adhered to the motto ‘Do as I say, not as I do' and his arrogance was well known. In class one morning he cleared his throat and began a monologue. ‘The implications of substituting one Ostmark for one Deutschmark is paramount for parity between the two Germanys. Of course it will affect the economy, the budget and the national debt for years to come,' pronounced Janowicz. ‘Changing to a capitalist system will mean the days of full employment under the socialist era are over. Unemployment will grow steadily and so will crime.'

Janowicz stopped. He had noticed a yawn from Felix and mistook it for a sign of boredom whereas in truth, Felix had been up early to help Ingrid take a delivery at the café. Determined to put the new boy in his place he shouted, ‘Waltz!'

Felix heard his name bellowed across the room and was startled into sitting upright. ‘Yes, Herr Janowicz.'

‘Waltz, perhaps you could offer the class some insight,' Janowicz sneered.

Felix began to feel defensive. As he had grown stronger, a feeling that nobody would abuse, mistreat or belittle him ever again was developing. Perhaps this growing dislike of authority was hormonal and just his age, because at home he also wanted to please less and not always be a ‘good' lad. Felix didn't have many problems with Klaus or Ingrid but now he wasn't so afraid he was ready to debate and disagree with them.

Today, feeling confident, he thought, ‘I'll see how far I can push the old fool.'

‘If we didn't have “one for one” monetary values, those of us in East Germany would continue to feel inferior to our fellow Germans in the West,' he told Janowicz succinctly.

‘You're suggesting East Germany was inferior because we were Socialists?' said Janowicz, surprised. The class bolted upright, listening intently.

Felix was adamant. ‘We were inferior. Look at the way they made us dress. We were controlled under the pretext of Socialism. Those in the higher echelons of the Communist party didn't have the same experience, they lived with privileges and perks. They got to wear decent clothes, drive a nice car and accumulate a bit of money.'

Janowicz was a staunch Socialist who wasn't going to be persuaded to think any different by an adolescent boy who'd grown brave enough to speak out since the fall of the Wall. ‘Communism was a fairer system. The State looked after its people and now we'll all have to fend for ourselves. Greed will be the new motto,' Janowicz said sharply.

‘I'd rather have a free society with everyone given an equal chance than an Orwellian state where “some pigs sleep in beds with sheets on” – and eat bananas!' Felix said.

The class laughed en masse, amused by this allegory and reference to bananas.

‘Quiet!' Janowicz barked. ‘Waltz! I see you've read George Orwell's “Animal Farm”. But you've missed quite a lot of schooling and your knowledge is limited.'

Felix felt this remark was personal. ‘Sir, with respect, East Germany was a Russian enclave run by the KGB or the Stasi, if you prefer. Yes, people had jobs, but there were food queues. It was always a case of double standards, those that had the power and those who had none. Not everyone in a position of authority used their power wisely. And did they care about the rest of us? They didn't want to give up their power or privileges and if anyone dared complained they were dealt with, severely. And we all know what I'm talking about. We were often controlled by fear.'

‘You have no fear now,' Janowicz observed.

Felix agreed but was trying not to sound arrogant. ‘Once people lost their fear and faith in the system, the Wall came down and Communism was dead and buried.'

Janowicz disagreed. ‘The Socialists didn't lose faith. World events took us by surprise.'

Felix was really animated now. ‘Yes, and it probably all started at the ship works in Poland with a union led by a brave man – Lech Walesa, who encouraged the people to fight back. He's the real unsung hero but because Gorbachev was forward thinking, his policies took the praise. I think the Americans were influencing Gorbachev far more than he cared to let on.'

Janowicz's tone was incredulous and sarcastic. ‘Really? Please, do go on.'

Felix ignored the derision. He had the class captivated and in the palm of his hand. ‘What if the Americans were winning the race in the Star War policies and in an effort to keep up were bankrupting the Soviet Union? Gorbachev offers to introduce
glasnost
, or
perestroika
, whatever you call it, as a means of saving face and to avoid facing the costs of civil uprisings in the East. The Russians couldn't afford to keep control of all the countries mortgaged under their wing of communism in Eastern Europe as well as keep up with the Americans. They had to get a grip of their finances and not go bankrupt. Gorbachev may well have been progressive but he also got on the world's stage and was validated as the good guy from Russia, for a change.'

‘Ludicrous!' Janowicz bellowed. ‘Bankruptcy, my… We, in East Germany, loved being Russia's favourite son. Poland's Lech Walesa was another trouble-making Pole! We never wanted to cut the strings with the Russians. Events just spiralled out of control.'

‘Well, I for one am glad the strings to the Kremlin have been cut. Now we are no longer puppets and like Pinocchio, we can be real boys,' Felix exclaimed.

The class laughed and clapped simultaneously.

‘Quiet! Waltz! Look what you've done! You've disrupted the class. How arrogant you are with your ridiculous ideas. Who do you think you are? You're just a Torgau boy!'

Defeated, Janowicz was resorting to insults to try and regain power and control.

But Felix knew he'd won the debate and the moral argument. No one could hurt him now. At Torgau he had learned all there was to know about humanity and who has it and who doesn't. He wasn't even angry with Janowicz, viewing him now as just a silly old man. The kids in the class knew the Torgau swipe was below the belt. They wouldn't judge Felix this way, nor constantly remind him of it in an attempt to belittle him. No, this was a game of one-upmanship that the old fool Janowicz had lost because he couldn't win the debate any other way. It was cowardly. Most of his contemporaries in the class had some understanding of this and realised Felix had been through a tough experience and survived. And some of them were now on his side, his allies and his future friends.

One of the boys stood up and shouted. ‘Janowicz, leave him alone. No one's listening to you any more. Don't you know there's a new order? And you're not part of it.'

Janowicz was outraged. ‘Carsten Berger! How dare you? Shut up and sit down!'

Carsten refused to sit down or stay silent. The momentum was growing in the classroom.

Felix decided to leave and no one would persuade him otherwise. ‘For the record, Herr Janowicz, I was sent to Torgau, but only because my parents died. That was not a crime, it was a tragedy! I'm going, I'll not stay another second in your classroom.'

‘Waltz!' Janowicz screamed. ‘Show some respect.'

‘Respect has to be earned,' Felix told him. ‘To be a teacher, you need to be someone the kids look up to, someone they respect.
In Loco Parentis
.'

The class cheered even if they didn't understand Latin. Another classmate, Paul Scheer stood up to join in Felix's defence.

‘Shut up, Janowicz!' Paul shouted.

‘You old Commie!' Carsten yelled and began banging open and closed his desk.

The others in the class joined in. There was a loud cacophony of desk lids clashing in unison.

Felix smiled at his classmates as he left the room. The noise from the disruption travelled along the corridors as Felix left the school and the chaos in his wake.

Klaus was outraged when Felix told him about Janowicz but Ingrid was proud of her nephew, especially after hearing about the Torgau provocation. They both felt Felix had handled himself and the situation without losing his self control and respect.

‘Who does Janowicz think he is?,' Ingrid said, indignantly.

‘Herr Janowicz can't teach me anything. I know that sounds arrogant but I've learnt about life in the last few years from human nature and through all the books I read when I was a hidden away. I don't want to go back to school, I want to work for the family, in the boatyard, at the café, or help looking after Axel. Anything, I don't mind,' Felix said, imploringly.

‘I'll complain to the education board, get Janowicz fired. I'll bet he was a Stasi informant. Then you can go back to school with your head held high,' Klaus fumed.

‘Onkel. You'll need extra workers if you and Bernd get the golf course.'

Klaus was adamant. ‘But your education is important!'

‘Felix, please,' Ingrid began. ‘Don't jeopardise all we've built up here. It's illegal not to attend school and I don't want the authorities turning up here, not with the ongoing adoption process with you and Axel.'

Felix understood immediately the ramifications of keeping a stubborn line of resistance.

‘OK, I'm 16 next year and legally allowed to work – I'll go to school till then.'

Herr Janowicz didn't get away with his behaviour. Klaus vehemently complained to the school, who were embarrassed and apologetic and Janowicz was sidelined and retired slightly early. However, the staff were wary about Felix returning to school in case of further disruption but he settled down and completed the rest of the term without further disruption.

That summer, the Football World Cup in Italy captivated the Germans' imagination in their year of reunification like no other tournament ever had. All over Berlin, satellite dishes adorned the flats in anticipation that the West German footballers would do well in the tournament. Around Motzen, satellite dishes were uncommon, so when Bernd brought a satellite dish on his last visit, installing it on the roof of Das Kino in time for the opening ceremony, it became a celebrated village affair.

The locals and visiting tourists were charged a small entrance fee, just as they were when films were shown on the large screen at the weekends, to watch the matches live from Italy. Klaus and Bernd shared the profits and this enterprise made a good profit for the month of the tournament. Here, the seeds were being sown for their future working partnership, which would bring the hardworking brothers and their families a rich and rewarding harvest.

Felix worked in the café, helping Ingrid serve drinks and snacks during the matches at half time when the surge of customers was at its' highest. Axel, now nine months old, sat in his playpen at the back of the café. Ingrid took him everywhere with her. He was a happy and contented baby and with his blond quiff of hair he enchanted all who set eyes upon him.

The mood in the country was euphoric and football fans as well as abstainers were caught up in the buoyant, party mood. West Germany reached the semi final, played in the heat of an Italian summer in the city of Turin. It was a tense, nail-biting and gripping spectacle of football against an old adversary and rival England which after playing extra time the score was 1-1 so the outcome was decided on penalties. The Germans scored four out of their five penalties whilst the English missed two out of their five. Final score, West Germany 4, England 3. Germany was in the final. Das kino erupted out of their seats with a giant roar.