Hidden Heart (2 page)

The summer before my senior year should have been my happiest yet, but instead I felt like I was sleepwalking through it. Day after day passed with no word from Lad, and I went through the motions while my mind stayed fixed on him. I could barely stand it, waiting, worrying, not knowing what he was doing, how he was doing.

Days, I worked at The Skillet. Nights, I went to the ballpark with Emmy and Shay—I was trying to spend as much time as possible with Emmy before she left for Los Angeles to join the fan pod.

Actually I needed to find a way to
keep
her from going. All my efforts to persuade her against it so far had failed epically. My celeb-obsessed lifelong friend was more determined than ever, and she’d said if we were going to
remain
friends, I’d better not make any more negative remarks about her dream-come-true plans.

If only I could tell her the truth about
why
I was afraid for her—that she’d be unknowingly enslaving herself to a Dark Elf. They were different from Light Elves—they considered themselves superior to humans and longed for the days when humans would once again serve and worship them. And based on the way they surrounded themselves with young, attractive fan pod members, they didn’t bond the same way—limiting themselves to one partner for life.

“Admit it—he broke your heart,” Emmy said when she spotted Nox’s car pulling into the ballpark one night in late June. Shay nodded in agreement as if this was a subject the two of them had discussed.

“That is
so
not true,” I protested. Nox
hadn’t
broken my heart. He had broken something just as difficult to repair—my trust. “We were only friends.”

Being my best friend since preschool, Emmy had naturally picked up on my near-constant funk. But I couldn’t explain to her—or anyone—what had happened with Lad, so I couldn’t blame her for trying to fill in the blanks. She and Shay assumed I was depressed about the obvious rift in my relationship with Nox.

“Sure, okay,” she said, clearly unconvinced.

I couldn’t explain the truth about Nox either. I couldn’t say anything that might expose his secret—Lad’s secret. Protecting it was the number one rule of the Elven race. Revealing it could put Lad and all his people—possibly Emmy, too—in danger. Even if I
could
have told her, she would’ve thought it was just another attempt to keep her from pursuing her dream. Who would actually believe such a crazy thing?

“Well, he broke
Savannah’s
heart. They only dated for a week, and I swear the girl hasn’t been the same since. He must be some kind of addictive substance,” Shay commented, craning her neck to see Nox getting out of his car and sounding like she wouldn’t mind a hit herself.

“So, are you all packed for cheer camp tomorrow?” I asked her, trying to change the subject.

“You know it. And I go right to Girls’ State after that, so I’m going to be gone for three weeks. What about you?” She gave Emmy a shoulder bump. “You must be counting down the minutes by this point.”

              Emmy nodded vigorously, hopping as she spoke. “Three more days! In
three
days I’ll be basking in the California sun, mingling with celebrities, and meeting
Vallon Foster
. Can you believe it?”

              “No,” I said, shaking my head.

              Shay gave me an elbow nudge to the ribs, and smiling widely, overcompensated for my lack of approval. She wasn’t quite as into the whole fan pod hype as Emmy was, but she didn’t share my objections and thought I was being a little harsh about the whole thing. She was supportive of Emmy’s plans and full of contagious excitement.

“It’s amazing! You have to text us all the time and post pics every day. I wish I was going with you—”

              “No you don’t,” I interrupted before I could stop myself.

Both of them looked at me like I was unbalanced. Emmy’s crestfallen expression made my heart twist in my chest. She thought I was being a bad friend.

“You promised… I support you about your tea company thing. You support Shay about her cheering and student government stuff.”

“Sorry,” I said, but I didn’t mean it, and of course she could tell. There was no way she could understand what was behind my negative attitude about the fan pods. Cheerleading camp and leadership camp were temporary. Shay would be home safe in a few weeks. Emmy might
never
come home again. Not as the same girl anyway. Maybe not even alive.

              Shay let out an uncomfortable laugh. “Okay, we know Ryann’s not a super-fan. But we’re all happy for each other, right?” Grabbing each of our hands, she pulled us into a little impromptu friend-circle right there near the snack bar. “Let’s just enjoy these last few days we have together, okay y’all?”

We all smiled and agreed, and I resolved once again to keep my worry to myself while finding a way to save Emmy somehow. As she’d noted, I had three days left. Maybe I could call in a bomb scare and ground her flight to L.A.?

My fear for her—for Lad—for
us
—was making me a wreck. When I could finally manage to fall asleep each night, it was fitful and full of nightmares. Often my dreams featured eyes staring from the woods—not beautiful leaf-green eyes like Lad’s, but harsh accusing Elven eyes, and worse—mysterious hazel ones.

Each day I grew more exhausted. I begged Grandma to go back to Altum and check on Lad for me, but she refused, saying it was better for all of us to follow his no-contact order, that he would come to me when it was safe or would let us know if it became too unsafe for us to remain in our home.

“Guess who’s coming this wa-ay,” Shay crooned, teasing me.

I glanced in the direction of her gaze and frowned at the sight of Nox’s long, lazy stride bringing him closer. Since the day he’d escorted me home, our only interaction had been when he brought deliveries of saol water from Altum, where it was produced, so I could continue using it to flavor and sweeten my special recipe tea. Whether he’d been selected—or volunteered himself as delivery boy—I wasn’t sure. 

I had only a few months to get the Magnolia Sugar Tea Company up and running and producing enough gourmet sweet tea to stock a hundred and ten Food Star grocery stores across the southeast. Working to get the business operational had been a godsend as far as keeping my mind occupied.

When my facility eventually came on-line and my production increased, I’d need large amounts of saol water, but I knew I’d always have a steady supply—the fate of the Light Elves’ home rested on it—thus the regular deliveries.

Nox approached the three of us, wearing his trademark cocky grin. No doubt he anticipated a captive audience—not from me—he
knew
how I felt about him. When he came into the Skillet for meals these days, I made sure another waitress took his table. Late at night I sometimes spotted him keeping watch over the house in a tree on the border of Grandma’s yard, but I couldn’t do anything about that. The forest had belonged to the Elves long before my human ancestors moved here.

Nox came to a stop before us, nodding to Emmy, then Shay, then locking his eyes on mine, lifting a brow and offering his I’m-too-cute-to-hate smile. “A triangle. Can I join?”

The smooth, sexy purr caused an involuntary shiver and raised goosebumps on my skin. Shay and Emmy gave each other annoyingly knowing looks and stepped away, giggling, leaving us alone to talk. I scowled after them. They had no
idea
how much they
didn’t
know about me and Nox.

              Turning my attention to him, I sighed. “Keep dreaming, cowboy. What do you want?”

              “Oh, wait a minute, I have a list.” He pretended to dig through the pockets of his faded, perfectly-fitted jeans. “No, actually, I was hoping that since we’re in public and outdoors and you can’t slam the door in my face, you might give me a few minutes to talk to you—to explain. You
might
find yourself interested in what I have to say, as amazing as it might seem.”

              I would have loved to skewer him with a
drop-dead
stare, but the fact he was about six inches taller than me, not counting his black western boots, made that difficult. And I wasn’t short in anybody’s book. I gave it my best try anyway.

His grin only widened.

              “Assuming I did decide to waste entire minutes of my life listening to your
explanation
, why should I believe anything you say ever again?”

              He instantly dropped the grin and looked soberly right into my eyes, his expression turning intense. “Because I’ll never lie to you again.”

              “You just did.” I spun on my heel and looked back over my shoulder as I walked away to join my friends. “And don’t bother with the pushy look. I’m surprised you haven’t figured it out yet—the Sway doesn’t work on me.”

              His stunned expression was the first thing to make me smile all day.

*     *     *

The next morning as I was getting ready for work there was a knock at the back door. Mom and Grandma had left already, so I went to answer it. Expecting to see Emmy or perhaps Nox making an unscheduled drop off, I yanked the door open.

And there was Lad, standing on the front porch.

Heart melting with relief, I shocked myself by bursting into tears. I ran to him and embraced him, expecting the vigorous wrapped-in-his-arms reception he usually offered.

Lad didn’t move. Instead, he stood like an oak tree with his arms at his sides, allowing my embrace but not returning it. Confused, I stepped back and looked up at him.

His face was stoic and controlled, making him resemble a marble statue some master had carved and dropped off on our porch. Making him look like his father.

His gaze flickered over me, settling on my face. The unearthly green eyes were more beautiful than ever, but there was a coldness in them. I detected none of the emotion that had been there only two weeks ago when he’d said he was willing to leave his home and family behind for me.

As it turned out, that hadn’t been necessary. His father had released Lad from a forced political marriage to the daughter of the Dark Elves’ leader. Ivar had freed his son to come and find me and tell me the words I’d been longing to hear.
I love you.

I inhaled his fresh, woodsy fragrance. God, he still smelled better than any human being I’d ever met. But something about him had definitely changed.

“Lad?” Was he not going to say anything at all? An anxious pulse thrummed in my neck as I waited.

He swallowed and finally spoke, his tone careful and polite. “Ryann. How have you been?”

I wanted to laugh. I wanted to scream. “How’ve I been? I’ve been desperately worried about you. I’ve been
miserable,
missing you and wondering if you’re okay. Lad… how are
you
?” I stepped forward again and took his hands in mine.

He looked down at our fingers, mine small and pinkish-pale against his tanned complexion. When his eyes came up to meet mine, they were bright the way they used to be. Something intimate and alive flourished between us, a sense of connection returning. And then the clouds came back, blotting out the brightness and leaving me chilled by his once-again-distant expression.

He slipped his fingers out of mine. “I am well, thank you.”

So formal. So un-Lad-like.

“I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to contact you, but I’ve had… responsibilities. Things are somewhat calmer now. A sense of order has been restored. My mother is still inconsolable, but… life goes on.”

I stepped forward, desperate to be near him. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to tell you how bad I feel for you and how much I’ve been wanting to be there for you. I’ve missed you so much.”

It would have been natural at this point for Lad to tell me he’d missed me, too, for us to embrace and comfort each other. None of that happened. He just looked at me, his expression unreadable.

Taking a step back, he clasped his hands behind his back and lifted his chin. “I appreciate that. Well… I’m sure you’re busy. You look like you’re getting ready to go out.”

              “Don’t be silly. I’ll skip work.”

              “No. No, Ryann. That’s not necessary. I only needed to see that you’re okay—to tell you I believe it’s safe for you and your family to remain here. You can go to work. I’m finished here.”

Finished
. What the heck did that mean? And his tone was so flat, so final. My heartbeats began multiplying, tripping over each other in a race toward a very bad conclusion.

              “What do you mean, you’re ‘finished here?’ I haven’t seen you for two weeks, there’s been a horrible tragedy in your family, we’ve talked for all of two minutes and now you’re ‘finished?’ Like this was a chore you had to check off of your list today? Lad, so much has happened. Come in and sit down. We need to talk. We need to figure out what we’re going to do now.”