Hidden Scars (5 page)

Another moment of silence. “Well, I’ll let you get back to your work. Good night, Morgan.”

She walked back to her apartment. Guilt ate away at me for being so short with her.

I tapped my short-clipped nails against the desk. Why had Mom come? Did she expect to find Chuck at the ballgame? We weren’t that careless. Why couldn’t Mom accept that she would someday lose control over me? Did she savor the sight of fear and pain in my eyes and celebrate her ability to produce it? The same old question. No new answers.

Chuck and I met Friday evening at the time and place we’d grown accustomed to. Even after Mrs. Henderson’s admonishment, I still didn’t sign out in the required ledger. It was a risk I had to take. If Mom called, she’d question the dorm mother demanding to know with whom, where, and when I’d be back. Unless someone witnessed my departure or did a room search, everyone would assume I remained in the dorm.

“I’ve missed you.” Chuck leaned in for a kiss. “I thought we’d go to a movie tonight, but the only one rated G is
Planet of the Apes.
”

“Fine.” I gave him a halfhearted smile.

“You want to see
Planet of the Apes
?”

“What? No. Unless you do.”

“Okay, what’s wrong? I know last night when I called, you were upset about your mother showing up. Is it still bothering you?”

“
Yes.
Why wouldn’t it? What if she’d decided to show up tonight or Sunday? We’d be caught off guard. There’d be no way for me to get in touch with you, and God help us both if they were to ever catch us together.”

Chuck reached for my hands and held them close to his chest. “Morgan, I love you. You’ve been through a lot. But your parents have to realize they can’t hold you captive forever. They’ve got to face the facts: you’re not a child anymore.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, you explain to me why she drove all the way up here yesterday?” I pulled my hands away and crossed my arms. “I’ll tell you why. She thought you’d be here. When you weren’t, she couldn’t resist the chance to tell me how ridiculous I looked wearing makeup. She suggested next time I should pay someone to style my hair. What does she think I’d use for money? I can’t buy deodorant, much less pay for anything extra.”

Chuck didn’t respond. He just sat there staring at me.

“What?” I searched his eyes for something I’d missed.

“How many times have I asked if you needed money? I even offered, but you refused. You’ve told me multiple times not to worry. Now I find out you can’t buy personal necessities! That…that you don’t have any money.”

“I never said I didn’t have any money.”

“How much do you have?”

“That’s none of your business. We’re not married.” Heat rushed to my neck and face.

“Morgan Selby, you have a pride issue you need to check.”

“Don’t you dare—”

“Yes, I will. You know as well as I do what God has to say about a prideful heart.”

“‘Pride goeth before destruction.’ What’s your point?”

“Pride in a small dose can be a good thing. Too much, and you’ll end up as bitter, angry, and hurtful as your parents.”

“I’ve got to make it on my own or do without. It has nothing to do with pride.”

“Then what would you call it?”

I took a deep breath. “How do I make you understand?”

“Talk to me. Tell me why you don’t trust me enough to let me help you.”

“It has nothing to do with trust.” I faced him. “One night, our parents allowed my brother and sister and me to go to a carnival. Anyway, they gave us all the same amount of money. I spent all mine, but a friend wanted me to do a cakewalk with her. Long story short, she purchased two tickets and gave me one. When Dad arrived, it hadn’t ended yet. On the way home, he questioned me about it. I told him. He got mad. After I was punished, he said, ‘If you don’t have, you do without.’ I never forgot the lesson.”

“Morgan, I can’t have money in my pocket and watch you go without. We’ve talked about marriage, but without trust it’ll never work.”

He took his billfold out of his pocket and placed it in my hands. His gaze moved from one of my eyes to the other, as if searching for an answer.

The door to my room sailed inward without anyone bothering to knock. “You’re going to freak out, Morgan.”

“What did you say, Mimi?” I crawled from under my desk with the dropped pencil in hand and came face-to-face with a luxurious bouquet of a dozen, long-stem red roses. Their fruity aroma surrounded me.

Mimi beamed. “I happened to be in the lobby when the florist made the delivery.”

I stood and straightened my skirt. “They’re beautiful. You must be so excited. Who sent them?”

She rolled her eyes. “You ditz, these are for you.”

I tossed the pencil. “For me? Are you sure?”

“Uh-huh.” She plucked a small envelope from the middle of the flowers and handed it to me. “Your name’s on the outside, but I’m more interested in the name on the inside.”

I’d never received roses before. They had to be from Chuck. Now it would be impossible to keep our relationship hidden from the girls in the dorm…or from my parents. I’d never known Mimi to be discreet.

I opened the envelope, read the note, and breathed a sigh.

“Well?”

I waved the card in the air and sang, “I’ve got a secret admirer.”

“Let me see that.” Mimi snatched the card, glanced at it, then at me with her eyebrows bunched together. “Who do you think it is?”

I shrugged and leaned down to smell the bouquet’s sweet fragrance. “There’s not a name on the card, but the vision in my mind has him tall and handsome.”

“Wait till the girls hear about this. They’ll flip.” She opened the door and flounced out.

The rest of the afternoon, I received an onslaught of inquiries about my mystery fellow. The list of suspects grew. Of course, Becky knew, but she went along with the game.

Chuck called later to confirm our date for Friday.

“Thanks for the roses. They’re beautiful.” I hadn’t stopped smiling since they arrived. “The girls have been making some pretty wild speculations about who sent them. It’s been a fun day.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying them. I’ve got more surprises planned for this weekend.”

“What?”

“If I told you, then it wouldn’t be a surprise.” He toyed with me. “Don’t ask any more questions. I’ll see you Friday night.”

“Wait. You have to give me a hint.”

“I love you, Morgan.” His soft, sexy voice sent chills through my body.

I felt like a child on Christmas Eve. What did he have planned?

Curiosity and anticipation made it difficult to focus in any of my classes.

By four o’clock Friday afternoon, less than a dozen of us remained in the dorm. The rest of the girls had packed their suitcases with haste, ready to leave for the weekend. I wondered, but never asked any of those who stayed behind why they didn’t go home. And hoped they never asked me either. I found comfort in the quietness and really didn’t mind being by myself.

I took a long shower and chose a special dress for the night. As I tried to decide what shoes to wear, someone knocked at the door.

“Come in.”

The door opened, and Mrs. Henderson walked in.

I jolted. We’d conversed on several occasions, but for her to come to my room, to seek me out….I swallowed. This didn’t feel right.

“Hi, Morgan, how are you this evening?”

“I’m fine, thank you.” But I wasn’t fine. I felt sick to my stomach.

She waved her hand toward a chair. “May I sit down?”

“Sure.” My mouth felt so dry I could hardly speak. I perched on the edge of the bed and placed both of my hands under my thighs to hide their trembling.

“I know you’ve not been home since school started, and I wondered if you needed to talk.”

“No…” Did my smile look as fake as it felt? “I don’t think so.”

She eyed me, as if waiting for me to change my mind.

Forcing myself to breathe normal, I held her gaze. And my tongue.

After several excruciating seconds, she spoke. “I received a call from your mother today. She wanted to know why you had to work every weekend and how much longer I’d need your help.”

A blast of adrenalin sped my heart rate. “What did you tell her?”

“I told her you were working on a project for me and hopefully it would be finished soon.” She leaned forward. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

Tears stung my eyes, and my chin began to quiver. “Mrs. Henderson, I can’t go home.”

“Are you in trouble?”

“What do you mean?”

“Morgan, I’ve been a dorm mother for the past three years. There have been a few girls along the way who made mistakes and got themselves in predicaments. The kind that can only be hidden for so long.”

It took me a minute to realize what she’d accused me of. I jumped up from the bed and held my robe against my flat stomach. “I’m not pregnant. You can’t get pregnant if you’ve never had sex.”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to imply—”

“Yes, you were.” I glared at her with my jaw clenched.

She covered her mouth with her hand and stared at the floor. The room was quiet.

“You’re right, and I’m sorry.” She leaned back in the chair and studied me. “Please accept my apology.”

I was so mad I couldn’t speak. Finally, I nodded.

“Can I ask why you don’t go home? It’s not because of the distance. Your friends, Mimi and Becky, are from Greer, and they go home every week.”

I fought a mental battle, torn between telling the whole ugly truth and keeping my mouth shut. I straddled the fence.

“When my mother calls, I tell her I’m working, because I never want to go back there again. There’s nothing else to tell.”

I squirmed as the room became quiet for only seconds before she continued. “All right. I won’t pry further. I know there’s a problem, and it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it now. But know I’m here if you ever need anything.”

She stood and walked toward the door.

Panic overrode my anger. “If my mother calls again, what will you tell her?”

She took a step toward me. “I don’t know. I’m not in the habit of lying. In fact, I’ve never lied for a student before today. I just wish you’d trust me.” Before she left the room, she glanced at the roses then back at me. “He’s got good taste.”

She knows.
Maybe not every detail, but enough to get me pulled out of here. According to the calendar on the wall, there were six more weeks until my birthday.

I knew Chuck had to be in the parking lot by now. I finished dressing, checked my reflection, and practiced a smile. Whatever he had planned for tonight, my emotional state was not going to mess things up.

I left the dorm using the side door as usual. When I walked outside, Chuck stood there waiting.

“Hey.” He reached for my hand. “I left my car at the library. If we walk along the back toward the football field, your dorm mother won’t be able to see us.”

“Let’s go.” I gave him a smile like the one I practiced in my room.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I kept the smile plastered in place.

“You’re not a good liar…with or without the smile.”

“It’s not a big deal. I’m really okay.”

“I know you, Morgan. You’re upset. I see it in your eyes.”

“You’re right, but let’s walk and talk at the same time.”

We began the roundabout path back to his car while I explained about Mom’s phone call to Mrs. Henderson, which led to her conversation with me.

“It sounds like she cares and has figured out there’s a problem between you and your parents. Maybe you should level with her.”

I shook my head. “No way. I can’t take a chance.”

“What if she wants to help?”

I stopped and faced him. “
No
.”

“Okay. You know her. I don’t.”

Chuck’s arm was around me as we walked to the passenger side of the car. He pulled me to him. Feeling safe and loved, I relaxed in his arms and no longer worried about the what-ifs.

We drove a short distance to the restaurant Chuck had chosen. Outside it had the look of an old colonial home. The inside was grand. The antique chandeliers hanging from the high ceilings and the rustic fireplace gave it a romantic touch. The hardwood floors, linen-covered tables, and the silver pieces added to the charm.

Chuck requested a table close to the fireplace and told the hostess he’d let her know when we were ready to order. “We’d like some time alone.”

“Wow. When you plan a surprise, you go all out.”

“I want you to remember this night when we’re old and gray.”

“Why? What are you up to?”

He took my hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. “Because the night someone asks you to marry him should be special and always remembered.”

“Are you…
did
you… ask me to marry you?” My stomach fluttered.

A broad smile spread across his face, and an extra twinkle lit his eyes. “Why do you act so surprised? I love you. We’ve talked about marriage several times. Tonight I want to make it official. Morgan Selby, will you marry me?”

I sucked in a breath as tears ran down my face. “Yes!”

Chuck bounced out of his chair and moved to my side of the table. He cradled my face in his hands and kissed both cheeks before pressing his lips gently against mine. And it didn’t matter that others might be watching.

He rested his forehead on mine. “I want us to get married as soon as possible.”

I pulled back. “I’m not even eighteen. There’s no way we can legally get married without my parents’ signature, and we both know that’ll never happen.”

“What if there is a way?”

“How?”

He cupped my hands with his. “In the State of Alabama, you can marry when you’re eighteen.”

“You can? How do you know?”

“My older sister works at the courthouse in Yalobusha County. She did the research and gave me the details.”

“And it would be legal? Even the State of Mississippi would see us as married?”

He smiled and nodded. “What do you say?”

The following Sunday, Chuck and I walked down the church aisle hand in hand. He leaned in and asked in a soft voice, “Do you think you’ll look back someday and have regrets?”