Highland Avenger (13 page)
“Ye have yourself.”
“Weel, that willnae keep her properly housed, fed, clothed, or in jewels.”
“Dinnae think she cares much for those things. Of course, she will want to keep those lads. Is that it?”
“Of course not. Sigimor, she would sit higher at any table than I do and has spent the last five years as a countess. We both ken the Murrays are powerful, admired, and nay too poor. Some are cursed rich. ’Tis true that her marriage turned out to be a lie and the mon she thought was her husband was a cold, callous bastard, but she still had all the luxury such a position can give a woman. I cannae e’en afford to leave the keep where I have a small room and little privacy. Mayhap I could build a wee cottage in the village but nay more than that. Nay, she needs to go back to her family.”
“Ye are an idiot. Jolene was the daughter of an English Marcher lord. Didnae see that stopping me, did ye?”
“Weel, ye are a laird and rule Dubheidland. I am a younger son to a mon some think may be utterly mad and have more brothers than any mon should, most of them bastards.”
“Mayhap ye ought to try and see what she wants.”
“Women dinnae always choose wisely.” He ignored Sigimor’s snort of laughter.
“Do ye nay want her for more than a lass to warm your bed then? But then I am thinking ye ken weel that she will be marked if the news of her marriage being naught but a lie gets round.”
“She is nay like that,” he snapped. “’Tis nay as ye try to make it sound.”
“Yet ye will offer her nay more than a few nights and then send her home?”
“Aye, because I cannae offer her more. I am nay good enough for her, and her family would be quick to say so. I dinnae think she need worry about the news of her false marriage causing her trouble, either, for the Lucettes will wish to keep that as quiet as possible if only to keep the Murrays from wanting their blood. And before ye mention Gregor, the only reason Gregor has himself a Murray lass is because they traveled together and she was a maid. He ne’er would have even tried to reach so high otherwise. There really wasnae much choice if she was to hold fast to her honor and he his. ’Tis just good that they wanted to be together. If I already had a wee piece of land, a nice wee house, and some coin, I might try to woo Arianna, but I dinnae have any of that yet.”
“Brian, if ye wait until ye have all ye think she wants or needs, ye will be sitting alone in your fine wee house with your nice full purse, looking out at your wee piece of land, and wishing ye had ne’er let her go, but it will be too late. Aye, and she will be set somewhere with a new husband and five or six children at her skirts.”
That was a thought that chilled him to the bone but he quickly pushed it from his mind. “I think I would rather discuss what to do about these cursed DeVeaux and Amiel.” He sighed when Sigimor just stared at him. “I will think on what ye have said but may we now talk on the threat that still hangs o’er her head? I think that is of a more immediate importance.”
“As ye wish.”
Sigimor began to give his opinions on what Brian should do about the ones hunting Arianna and the boys, most of them dealing with the many ways they might be killed. It took Brian several minutes to push all of Sigimor’s words concerning the possibility of keeping Arianna for his own right out of his mind and he knew it was because his cousin was advising him to take what he wanted anyway. He forced his thoughts to remain fixed upon ridding them of the threat posed by Amiel and the DeVeaux. It was all the future he could allow himself to think about.
Arianna watched Lady Jolene settle herself in the chair by the fire. She poured the woman a drink of cider and served her. As she poured one for herself, she tried to discern any scorn or disapproval in the woman’s eyes or actions but saw none.
“You did not have a good marriage, did you?” said Jolene as she helped herself to one of the honey-sweetened oatcakes on a tray set between them.
“Ah, nay, I didnae.” Arianna was not comfortable with the topic and wished she had not returned to her bedchamber where Lady Jolene had so easily found her alone. “Did Brian nay tell ye all about the trouble there has been?”
“Do you mean how the man lied to you and how this brother of his wishes to kill those boys, maybe even give you to an old enemy of the family?”
“Aye. I was hoping to get to my family before any trouble reached us, but that plan failed. I felt a wee bit guilty about it but decided no one could have kenned that the enemy would be willing to sink a whole ship just to kill the boys.”
“Nay, that would have surprised most anyone. You were very fortunate to fall into the MacFingals’ hands. They are a rough lot of men, a little wild, a little uncivilized, but good men despite that.”
“Aye, they are. Brian assured me again and again that his brothers would get my boys safely to Scarglas and they did, boys they had no blood tie to and who were trailing right behind them men willing to kill anyone just to get them. To do so does show how good the men are. Rough ways and a wee bit of wildness doesnae matter.”
“Then mayhap you should consider keeping Brian.”
Arianna nearly choked on the bite of oatcake she had just taken and had to take a quick drink of cider to clear it away. “Sir Brian has shown no interest in my keeping him.”
“Nay? He insisted upon sharing this bedchamber with you even though there was no need for such protection while you are here. What I saw when he did so was a man who did not wish to sleep alone.”
“That doesnae mean he wants to keep me. We both ken that men can bed and sleep with women all the time and nay wish to actually keep them.”
“Men also do not find it easy to speak of such things.”
“So I must ask him if he wishes to stay with me? I must be the one to set myself up for the blow that will come when he says nay, thank ye kindly?”
“Quite possibly. It depends on how much you would like him to stay with you. Do you care for the man, Arianna?”
“I wouldnae be scandalizing the whole keep by sharing his bed if I didnae.”
“True, but I was not speaking of passion. Sir Brian MacFingal is a very handsome man. Near all the MacFingal men are. I was rather hoping you would be honest about what lies in your heart.”
“I think I love the man.”
“Only think?”
“I have spent the last five years of my life with a mon who told me, near every time he spoke to me, that I was riddled with faults from how I looked to how I could please no mon in the bedchamber. Then comes Sir Brian and suddenly I ken what my kinswomen spoke of when they spoke of desire, loving, passion. I dinnae ken if that clouds my mind or nay. ’Tis verra hard to tell what is in your heart when ye are feeling things ye ne’er have, strong things that overwhelm ye from time to time.”
Jolene nodded. “I can understand that. Yet ’tis my belief that a woman would not feel such things unless a piece of her heart was already involved.”
“Nay, she probably wouldnae.” Arianna shook her head. “I am trying to keep my heart closed to him.”
“Why would you ever do such a thing?”
“Because, e’en if he convinces me that all Claud said was a lie—and that will take some time I fear—I couldnae tie him to me anyway. It would be unkind. ’Tis bad enough that I will be marked a whore if the falsity of my marriage becomes widely known. Considering how people look at the MacFingals now, I dinnae think they need such a woman as part of their clan.” She ignored Jolene’s muttered opinion of that as being nonsense. “Also, I am fair certain I am barren.”
Jolene reached across the table to place her hand over Arianna’s clenched hands. “Are you truly certain?”
“I lost a bairn. I had but just realized that I carried one and then it was gone. We did try again but I ne’er quickened again. Then Claud had a physician come in to look at me and that mon said I couldnae carry a child.”
“Yet you did get with child once and I cannot believe miscarrying so early would damage anything. Were you very ill? Bleeding a great deal?”
“Nay, I dinnae think there was anything particularly wrong in the way it happened, only that it happened at all.” Arianna slipped her hands out from beneath Jolene’s and wiped a tear from her cheek. “We did try for a year after I lost my baby but naught happened and, after that full year of trying, there were times Claud would try again, usually after his parents made some remarks about his absence from my bed or the lack of an heir. And Claud gave Marie Anne two fine sons so it wasnae a lack in him.”
Jolene sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. “A physician can be wrong. I believe very few of them actually know anything at all about babies and birth and women. They all tend to strongly dislike having anything to do with us. And ’tis not so uncommon for a woman to lose the first child she quickens with. Tell me, how old is the youngest of the two lads?”
“Five, near to six.”
“So for the entire time you were trying to carry this Claud’s child, he was still bedding his mistress and yet she never got with child again?”
Arianna blinked and thought that over for a little while, trying not to let that flicker of hope in her heart grow too large. “I dinnae think so. Do ye think Claud somehow lost his, um, virility?”
“It happens. There are many fevers and such that can steal it. All works as it should but the seed is dead. I should not give up hope of having a child so quickly.”
“The trouble is, Jolene, the only way to be certain I am nay barren is to get with child. It would be best if I do so while married but, if I marry and do prove barren, then I have cheated the mon who married me. Wheesht, I could even be accused of having lied for I would have married him kenning there was a chance I would give him no children.”
“Then perhaps you ought to try without concerning yourself about the marrying part of it all.” Jolene grimaced. “That sounds very devious.”
It did, but the idea stuck in Arianna’s mind as she and Jolene began to talk about their families. It was still there when Brian climbed into bed with her a few hours later and pulled her into his arms. She could not shake free of it, her craving for a child refusing to allow her to give up the idea. Arianna then swore upon her very soul that, if she did find herself carrying Brian’s child, she would not use it to drag him into a marriage he did not want. From what she had heard, the MacFingal clan had no problem at all with having bastard children, and a lot of them. If she was going to test whether she was truly barren or not, there was hardly any better choice than one of the notoriously virile MacFingals.
“We must be back on the horses on the morrow, love,” he said as he removed the chemise she wore and tossed it on the floor.
Arianna grimaced at the thought. “’Tis the last of the journey though, aye?” She slid her hand down his taut stomach, enjoying the smooth warm skin and play of muscle beneath it, actually eager to explore a man’s body for the first time since the embarrassing attempts she had made in the first weeks of her marriage.
“We are done when we reach Scarglas and ye may linger there as long as ye like before going anywhere else.” He hoped she would choose to linger for quite a while before she left to rejoin her family even though he knew it could make parting with her even harder than it would be now.
“Good. I suspect it will be a verra long time before I wish to get back on a horse.”
Brian was about to ask just how long she thought that might be when she curled her long, slender fingers around his erection. He groaned and held her tightly, shifting his hips in a silent plea for her to caress him. When she answered that plea, stroking him, even slipping her hand between his legs to toy with him there, he lost all ability to think.
Arianna was enjoying the power she had over this strong man, surprised at how her touch was affecting him so strongly. She was just wondering what else she could do to keep him groaning and muttering flatteries for a while longer, when he suddenly pushed her onto her back. His lovemaking became fierce, his passion a wild thing that demanded she join in that wildness. When he joined their bodies, there was little gentleness in the way he moved, but she did not care. Her passion easily rose until it equaled his, and she was soon urging him on with her words and her body. The release that tore through her had her crying out his name, clinging to him as if she was falling and he was the only thing she had left to hang on to. When his release came, his seed filling her, he gripped her so tightly she knew there would be a few bruises and she did not care.
Still trembling from the force of the passion they had shared, Arianna opened her eyes and looked at the man sleeping so soundly in her arms. She thought of how often he had spilled his seed inside her and that tiny flicker of hope in her heart grew a little bigger. If there was the slightest chance that she was not barren, then passion as hot and wild as what she shared with Brian had to leave her with child. It would cause a lot of trouble if she ended up back with her clan, with child and no husband, but she did not care. If Brian sent her away, did not wish to keep her, at least she would have a piece of him to cherish. Arianna just hoped that was good enough for, with each moment spent in his arms, she knew she never wanted to let him go.
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